Authors: Harnet Spade
Chapter 6: Kiss Me One Last Time Before I Kill You
Abruptly,
I came out of whatever trance I was in. Ashamed with my actions at finding myself straddled over his naked chest, wearing only a satin camisole and matching hipster panties, I quickly jumped out of bed taking the sheets with me. I saw the sheets covered in his blood, and immediately dropped them, nearly coming out of my skin. I was losing my mind. I had to be hallucinating as I watched him grunting incoherently coming down from the high he got off of me practically gorging myself on his blood. I was shaking uncontrollably covered with his blood when he looked at me and his gaze was that iced blue gaze I had seen in my dream. I tried to back pedal out of the room, but I hit the wall hard instead.
“What the hell just happened? And why… how can you do that with your eyes?” Shaking my head because I could barely control myself, I wanted his eyes on me while I took him. I was fighting the intense need to go back to him.
As he opened his mouth I interjected, “No, no don’t even tell me… this is just from the drugs you’ve been feeding me to keep me alive. This, none of this is possible... are you even human? What the hell am I? Fu..mmn,” my hands came up pressing my head. It hurt so much, “… is that what this facility is about? My god, where are we?” With my hands buried in my hair, trying not to look at his eyes I said, “I need you… to go. And never come into my room again; no matter how much I scream,” I had to get him to stop coming in.
He was sitting up in my brass bed, breathing hard and fast, while trying to soothe me with calming words. The room was washed with the moon’s radiance because I had left the curtains open. He was illuminated with it. Every plane of his sculpted body was bathed by the soft light. I watched right before my eyes as his body repaired the damage I had done, but the blood was left to remind me what we both weren’t.
“It’s all right Emma, you can get through this. You need to calm down baby.”
“Get out! I can’t think clearly when you look at me as you are.” His eyes had me trapped, enslaved by a need so great I would soon be over him again, so I looked at all the blood instead.
I couldn’t keep looking at it because it reminded me- I was a monster. I kept shaking my head no. This couldn’t be real.
His gaze came up to meet my eyes as he said, “I know what you saw, and don’t you forget you are Mine. You’re mine Eva, always have been no matter what he did to you and what you stopped us both from seeing- You… Are… Mine. I don’t fucking care how many times he touched you, how he touched you, or even if you enjoyed it… you are fucking Mine!”
I lost all the air I had, or the ability to breathe. I went down to the cold wood floor in a crouch and tried so hard to get air in my lungs as tears fell from my face.
Without raising my head I asked him, “How dare you be so callous? What did I ever do to you to deserve such raw insensitivity from you, you bastard?”
“You allowed him to take you from me. You had the opportunity to end the fucking worthless scum and you hesitated! You have proven your strength against his, yet you let him take you.”
“Of course you’ve blamed me all along. He drained me while you were hurt and immobile! I was paralyzed from the fear of him hurting you further. You coward! Get out… just get out, Damn you!”
“Look at me Eva.”
I lifted my head, and saw his upper body covered with dried trails of blood running down the valleys of his muscular chest.
“I don’t blame you. I’m angry because we both lost control, and they took advantage, baby. I lost you then, but it won’t happen ever again. I will always find you. Let me in.”
I shook my head, “So you don’t even try to give me an excuse for the unexplainable shit that is happening? You expect me to just accept everything.”
Only silence and his glowing ice blue eyes penetrating me, answered me.
“I can’t take this… it’s too much! Answer me!”
He stabbed me with his gaze, “You don’t really want for me to give you the answers you think you want because Emma, if my eyes scare you, make you quiver- the way you are…,” I looked at him then out of defiance, “little girl you’re not prepared to hear the truth because it is so much worse than you could ever imagine. Do yourself a favor... do what I ask, when I ask, and do not even hesitate for a second.”
After moments of staring at one another, I sit back on my heels and answer him.
“Just so we’re clear, I may do what you ask for as long as I deem necessary, but don’t let there be a shred of doubt when I tell you… I don’t belong to anyone. Stop talking like there was anything between us, Darius. It isn’t real… what I saw as far as I’m concerned was just another nightmare.”
He smiled a sad halfhearted smile, “Hold on to whatever helps us get through this, but I need you to dig deep inside. I need you to let yourself remember how you escaped him because ever since you tried to run away from me… he can reach you. He’s driving you to do these things in your sleep.”
“It is why you don’t have a moments rest while you dream… he realized I was tracking him, that I too can tap into your mind. He tried to have you kill me.”
I covered my ears trying to silence him, but I could still hear him.
“Tell me, how do you explain what you did to me? You’re more alive now than when I give you all the drugs I pump you with to keep you alive.”
He wouldn’t get out, wouldn’t stop talking of things I didn’t want to remember. “Please just let it be.”
“Did he turn you? Is that why he seeks you in your dreams?” He continued.
“Shut up! Shut up damn you! What took you so long to find me, to find a way,” I cried only now realizing what I had just let slip, quickly covering my lips with my bloodied hands. He fisted the sheets and looked at me hard, his whole body going rigid. I knew he wouldn’t give me answers, and of course he was right, if I was honest with myself I really didn’t want to hear them.
“No, forgive me I don’t blame you.” I said standing, wanting to go to him.
I argued with myself shaking my head, trying to reason with myself. “I can make myself wake up from the nightmares. I have dreamed it enough to recognize it’s a dream… I’ll be fine alone... it’s not necessary for you to keep coming in every night losing sleep over nothing.” I told him sternly.
“I sleep just fine, Eva. Stop ignoring the truth.” He was angry with me because I could tell he expected differently from me.
That name did things to me. Made me want to run to him, to make love to him, and erase everything with him deep inside of me.
He was sitting at the closest side of the bed to me with his arms held rigidly at his sides grasping the edge of the mattress in what looked like a death grip. His jeans were unfastened, and I could see he wasn’t wearing anything underneath- my eyes lingered; we’d been so close this time.
“With the way you’re looking at me you might as well carve out my heart. Why don’t you, Eva? You think I don’t want to give you what you want, what we both almost died for? I’ve had to live with the unknown, and treat your
illness
while the whole time I was afraid you’d remember and hate me so much more. I stayed away because I was afraid if I touched you again you would remember us. You’re dying because he’s fed you his blood, and your body needs it. How do you think it makes me feel to know a part of you wants him? I’ve been going out of my mind, trying everything I could think of to keep you alive, safe, and untraceable, but this whole time your instincts are pushing you towards him… you want to be found Eva.”
I was shaking my head as I walked up to him and stood over him, “You think I want to be found by that monster? Have you completely lost your mind? You have no idea what I endured to keep him away from you, to keep you alive. Don’t you see… I read the obsession in his eyes, so I knew he would always keep me alive no matter how much I begged for death, but for you I endured. Because if he sought you out, he would not have hesitated to kill you out spiteful vengeance.”
“I expected it, Eva! I expected him to come after me, in fact, I was counting on it. All I could do was think of the two of you together, go crazy inside my head, and search for a way to end him. When I found the answers I was looking for- I waited in vain because he never came. I never got the chance I’d prepared for.” Now I saw the intense hatred reflected in his eyes, but I understood it wasn’t directed at me because it was the look that always passed between Darius and Eros. I’d seen that look exchanged between them ever since I could remember never fully understanding it. “I feared you’d bargained for my life. I was right. You kept him well occupied when he didn’t come looking... I thought I hated you for so much during that time.”
He looked up at me, probing my mind. I was stronger now because of his blood, so I told him, “I won’t let you see what you want. You can’t control me any longer.”
“Are you his mate, did you love me so much that you fucked someone else?”
I hit him then, so hard I could feel the pain deep in my bones. Then I hit him again, but he took it never trying to stop me as his hand grabbed my nape while the other secured me against him. I struggled and pushed, but he was too strong. He’d bled all over us, yet he was still stronger kissing me forcefully as he pulled me against him. I tried to resist, I tried so hard to fight him.
I weakened… his scent was exquisite reminding me of our home, a scent so clean… smelling of fresh breeze and ocean water, safe… pure. I imagine it’s what heaven would smell like. My mind was erased of all the fears it held onto so tightly, like a mother holds a newborn to her breast… nurturing it, giving it life through her very essence. My fears were simply gone by just inhaling him in. I welcomed my memories of our past together because of his scent… it was home.
I was lost unable to fight him. I climbed on him putting my knees on either side of his thighs and kissed him deeply- our tongues thrusting, pulling, and ravaging with all the desperation I felt when I first awoke earlier tonight. I couldn’t help letting myself go to him because after what he’d just accused me of- he still wanted me. It amazed me. It made me want him more.
But this was more to him, I took the bait his words had cast. He wanted me unreasonable, unthinking, and lost to my emotions because as soon as I became feeble he attacked my mind seeing what I had tried so hard to protect him against.
The memories came overwhelming me with pain, and of course there was so much… fear.
___________________
I was in a darkened bedroom, Eros’s bedroom. He’d just traced us here. I was unable to stand on my own much less, try what my mind screamed for me to do- push myself away from his body. I moaned from the feeling of loss as I tried to take in my surroundings. I searched for doors, windows, or any escape I could find. He picked me up; my head tipping over, elongating my neck, making me feel vulnerable. Everything was upside down distorted from my weakness and hindered point of view. I closed my eyes trying to clear the haze caused by fatigue- surely all the blood loss I suffered was to blame.
Although it was night and no lights were on when my eyes opened, I was able to see in the dark. I’d never questioned my capabilities because it was who I was. He carried me across the room toward his bed when I heard a door open and someone entering. He turned, and I coughed barely able to breathe when I saw a very beautiful woman approach us. I noticed how intensely she looked me over. She neared us with a frown marring her beautiful features and a look of deep concern. She looked distressed. She also looked very familiar, but either I was too weak to place her, or we’d never been formally introduced. She could have been someone I saw in passing, I thought dismissing her.
“Eros no, you promised me… she’s dying you cannot mate with her like this.”
“Elenessa, I don’t know nearly enough about my mate, but what I do know is she cannot die. What she needs is my blood and our union will make her stronger.”
“You said it yourself you can’t act based on theories, we risk too much my liege. We do not know the consequences your blood will have on her.”
He brought me down on his bed and then began undoing the laces of his leather pants. I started stirring trying to move away from him, horrified by the lust in his eyes and what he spoke of. I tried to fight against his hands while I lay in his bed. I would not drink his vampire blood, my mind admonished because I believed my mother was lost to it. She’d become addicted to this creatures blood. Had completely changed into someone I no longer recognized.
I felt his weight press down on the mattress before feeling his touch. He caressed the blood on my neck, lifted his bloodied fingers to his mouth, and closed his eyes as he sucked two of them into his mouth… savoring my blood.
The woman turned. “I will not let you harm her, you promised me her safety if I helped you- said it was paramount to everything. I’ve done everything you wanted, but you must not cause her harm, or it ends here. I will take her back to her father.”
“And for what, you would dare take her from me knowing what he has planned for her? Do you wish to see her hate you, feel betrayed by you for what he will do to her?”
She gasped, fear written all over her face because for some reason she believed Eros. “No, I won’t take her to him, but you mustn’t hurt her!”
He looked at her then, eyes going black and said, “Then spell him out of her thoughts. Erase all memory of him from her; I don’t care if she doesn’t recognize any of the love she once felt for me… yet. She has forced herself to love another, it needs to stop. I will not have her continued devotion for him. Don’t you realize her emotions for him have prevented her from feeling anything towards me?”