They stood in a huddle, watching her back. “We might as well find a waiting room to sit in. Daniela, here’s cab fare. Could you please head back home? I’m worried my grandmother is trying to take care of everyone alone while Dan drinks coffee.”
Taking the money, she left without saying goodbye. “You were a tad harsh with her, Lisa.”
“Mother, Daniela is my employee, not my girlfriend. Our relationship is professional. We pay her to look after the children. I didn’t blame her or even suggest she was to blame for this in any way, but she’s not hanging out here while my noni juggles two babies and a toddler. If she doesn’t like it, she can look for another job.”
“Okay, I got it,” Pam said, sneaking a peek at her watch. “How long does blood work take?”
“Oh God, I hope not long. I’m about ready to scream.” They watched people come and go, other doctors and patient families. Pam felt guilty feeling trapped. She would stay as long as Lisa needed her, but it didn’t mean she had to like it. They looked up just as Tom arrived. He was so handsome, and even though he no longer wore a uniform as a detective, he exuded a cop vibe that made heads turn in the ER. He hugged both women while they told him what the doctor said.
She suddenly thought of Natalie, probably at the house now. “I need to call home for a minute.” She dialed the number and Annabelle answered.
“Hi, did Natalie Borg arrive?”
“Yes, Mrs. Smith. She’s in with Mrs. Smith the first now.”
“Ha! Okay, explain the situation to her, will you, please? She’s welcome to stay, but I have no idea when I can leave the hospital.”
“She knows and understands. I’m preparing to get the Mahjong tiles out.”
“You don’t have enough people,” Pam replied.
“I’ll play and Natalie said she’ll be two people.”
“Oh, good. Thank you, Annabelle,” Pam said laughing. They hung up, the vision of organic Natalie playing Mahjong with stately Bernice comical. Pam was sorry she’d laughed, seeing how miserable Lisa was, feeling pain for Miranda.
Lisa pulled Pam aside. “Mom, what am I going to do? I love Miranda and I want to be here for her, but I have three children at home. I’m nursing. My boobs feel like they are about ready to explode.”
“Tom said he’d stay till tonight. Let me take you home. You can come back tonight after the boys are sleeping.”
“I just don’t feel right about leaving her now,” Lisa said. Pam knew she might be implying that Pam should stay, but she wasn’t offering.
“Miranda loves Tom. If she wakes up while he’s here, she’ll be fine. We’ll take turns the rest of the time, okay? I’ll come in the morning. I’ll enlist Tom and his mother. We can get Ed’s mother to come out and help. It will work out, you’ll see.”
“You don’t get it, Mother,” Lisa said.
“What don’t I get?”
“I can’t stay here with Miranda because I have a family.
You
asked me to take her; I think
you
should stay with her.” Annoyed, Pam knew she was partially responsible for her daughter’s bad behavior and it was never too late to be a parent. She spoke softly to her, but firmly.
“I do get it, Lisa. But I don’t think
you
do. This is life. You want the responsibility of being a parent this is what you get. You don’t get to bail out when the going gets tough. Nobody twisted your arm to take Miranda. Now if you think it’s too much to handle, we’ll have to figure out something else for her.
“Noni and Dan are at the house with the boys and Megan. They have everything under control. Let me take you home and you can nurse everyone and help noni and Daniela get them to bed. Then either you or Dan needs to come back here because Miranda might wake up and if someone she loves isn’t here, she could be frightened. You’ll work it out, I promise you. You’re a good mother.”
Lisa was fighting back the tears. Pam had never criticized her before. What she said was true, so it
really
hurt. “I’m just scared, Mom. I guard my schedule like it’s the most important thing in the world. How am I going to stay up all night with Miranda and nurse the boys?”
“Send Dan,” Pam said, putting her arm around Lisa as the left the courtyard. “Let’s go say goodbye to Tom and head home. I think it’s time for Dan to do his share.”
“He’s not going to be happy,” Lisa said.
“He’ll get over it.” Tom was reading the paper, waiting. He put it down when they returned.
“No news. I called Jenna and she is very sad about all this. She’s okay with me staying here as long as you need me. I called my mother and Faith is bringing her out tonight so you don’t have to worry about coming back unless you want to. I tried Sandra’s number, but she’s not taking calls, as usual.”
The realization of her mother’s prophesy that everything would work out made Lisa feel so guilty that she uncontrollably burst into tears. Hugging Tom, she cried, “Thank you so much for helping! I didn’t know how I was going to manage to stay with Miranda while two babies are at home.” Tom put his hands up, something wet wicking through his shirt. He looked at Lisa and there were two, large wet spots accentuating her breasts on the front of her blouse. Tom fought not to stare at her but lost, trying not to giggle.
“I guess I’d better get used to that. Jenna’s nursing, too.”
“Oh…my…God,” Lisa droned, looking down as she backed away. Pam burst out laughing.
“Yes, she’d better get home. Goodbye, Tom. I’ll call you when I get home later this afternoon. Give Virginia my love.”
“Well, that was embarrassing,” Lisa said.
The levity was short lived as they fell to thinking about Miranda again.
Chapter 5
Bernice’s shark-like cruise bargain hunting resulted in finding a cruise that left Wednesday for two weeks of leisurely cruising around the Virgin Islands. Departing from New York, they didn’t have to fly to Miami. The chaos of people going on a trip, with their mountain of bags stacked in the front hallway, Bernice near tears, worried she was forgetting something essential, Nelda’s sarcasm over the top and Annabelle stony silent, rolling her eyeballs, was over by nine that morning when the limousine finally arrived. Natalie was upstairs sleeping; she hadn’t come down until almost noon since she’d been at the beach. Pam sat at the kitchen counter, looking out the window over the sand to the ocean, coffee getting cold.
Miranda was discharged from the hospital Tuesday and doing much better. Dressed, sitting on the hospital bed early in the morning waiting for Lisa and Pam to pick her up from the hospital, Miranda looked forward to going back to Lisa’s house where she felt secure and loved.
The blood tests came back negative. The doctors determined the seizure was fever induced; the child probably just had the flu, the same thing Pam had.
Gladys Ford was thrilled to take over at Lisa’s and had arrived Tuesday ready to move in. Lisa said Dan wasn’t too happy, but no one cared what he wanted anymore. Released from duty apart from what a typical grandmother would have; buying gifts, giving treats and handing out love, Pam returned to the beach to oversee the cruise preparations.
So with the ladies gone, and life under control at Lisa’s, Pam had only Jason’s betrayal to think about, and it was making her crazy. Maddeningly, he’d been at Jeff’s since Saturday night, so she didn’t even feel like she could take a walk on the beach without running into him. It was such a passive-aggressive move for Jason and Pam wished there was a way to get him back to Philadelphia. She wondered if Jeff had anything to do with it, paranoia about his betrayal having its roots in her hurt feelings.
Looking for anything to help her forget the wedding mess, a complete home makeover came to mind. Years had passed since she’d had any major work done and it was usually by Jack’s prompting. After touring a restoration for work, he’d come home and start analyzing
their
house. “The tile in the kid’s bathroom is so passé. On Thursday, I saw a bathroom with glass tile; it was fabulous.” Or “Butcher block in the kitchen is gross. We need to replace it with granite.” But now the kitchen just looked tired, her former shabby chic decorating simply shabby. It would be the first project on her list
Pouring a fresh cup of coffee, with the yellow pages out she sat at the counter to look through the contractor's section. There were at least twenty, so she narrowed it down by choosing the local companies. There was just one.
“This is easy!” she said, dialing the number.
“Babylon Construction,” a cheerful female voice said. Pam introduced herself and explained she was ready for a kitchen remodel.
“Okay,” the voice said. “John will be at the beach this morning checking on another job. Can he stop by around lunchtime to take a look?” Pam was happy he could get there so fast. The ideal, albeit unrealistic conclusion, would be to have it finished before their vacation was over.
It was just past nine, plenty of time to go beachcombing, worries about running into Jason notwithstanding. Every morning he’d stop in front of her house bending over to tie his shoes and Pam felt like he did it on purpose. An old pellet gun of Jack’s was in the garage and the temptation to shoot Jason in the rear was strong, but she didn’t have the courage. Grabbing a plastic trash bag and her straw hat, she stepped out onto the wooden walkway. The weathered redwood with sand seeping up between the slats beckoned memories. Remembering that summer so long ago, it seemed like a million years had passed.
Why didn’t she show more appreciation for what she had at the time?
Before Jack built the walkway, beach roses had grown in the sand around a slate patio. The improvement of the walkway aside, it was about the effort it took Jack to build it. He wasn’t a man who liked household projects or chores. “Hire someone,” he always said. But there was something about seeing his mother in a leg cast trying to be brave, hating people to wait on her that made him want to attempt the project as an act of love. He even said the house felt more like his after he put his sweat into it.
Now, the offspring of those early roses were still blooming in abundance. Pam walked north, avoiding having to pass Jeff’s house, with eyes sweeping the sand for anything glistening, memories delighting her mind while she looked for beach treasure.
The summer of the walkway was one of laughter and joy for the Smith family. For the first time, Jack took time off to work on the house. She remembered him pacing in his den office, making call after call, canceling appointments, rescheduling meetings. Afterward, he was so proud of his accomplishments that he took photographs of Pam and the kids surrounding Bernice’s wheelchair on the walkway and had the best one framed. It still hung in their…
her
bedroom. Maybe it was time to move the print to the den.
The fiasco with Jason was such cliché; maybe she’d reached an age where she could no longer have an intimacy with another person. Certainly, she didn’t trust Jason; she knew that could have been the potential problem. Yet she wasn’t the one to stand
him
up. It was simply a big mistake to think she’d get married again.
The humiliation aside, it seemed to Pam that Jason standing her up at the altar had worked out for the best after all and having come to that conclusion, she’d forgive him. She’d forgive Jeff, as well, it too difficult living next door to someone you were trying to avoid. They’d acted like jerks, but she was just as much to blame because she had expectations of them, in spite of recognizing their unreliability.
When she got home, she’d spent more time on the beach than she realized and it was almost noon. John from Babylon Construction Company would be there soon to look at her kitchen. Walking into her shaded bedroom, the calm, serene atmosphere pleased her. No matter what she did to it, that room would always be the one she shared with Jack. Unfortunately, she was beginning to feel like somewhat the tart having shared it with two other men already….it might be time for a new mattress again, just for proprieties sake.
Standing in front of the mirror, she was reapplying her lipstick when the doorbell rang. Natalie must have come down from her room because she hollered, “I’ll get it!” Having Natalie around was like having an uncomplicated companion who never required anything. She was content to read around the clock, noshing on whatever she could find in the house to eat. She preferred lying in bed to read, throwing open the windows to the balcony overlooking the water.
“I could stay here forever,” she said. “If Ben would only move down here, that is.”
“He likes his environment,” Pam suggested.
“He’s stuck in a rut,” Natalie replied. “Upstate New York is so laid back, he could spend a week watching old movies on TV and not even notice the passing of time. He doesn’t like to visit me in the Village. And he’s not comfortable at Jeff’s. I think it has something to do with Ted although he won’t admit it.” Pam giggled, understanding why Ben might be jealous of Ted because Natalie had confessed she’d slept with Ted.
“You can’t blame him, can you?”
“Oh, he doesn’t know about that,” she said. “And you’ve seen for yourself there is no chemistry between Ted and I. Sister and brother might have more.” Pam didn’t think he had much personality to begin with, and Natalie was blaming herself for their strange relationship.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure,” Natalie said. “Is it something juicy?”
“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just that I think you underestimate your value.” Natalie reached over and grabbed her hand.
“Ha! That makes two of us.”
Natalie was standing at the front door when Pam came out of her bedroom to great John. Later, Pam remembered it appeared everything was happening in slow motion. Natalie’s eyes blinking as she turned from John to acknowledge Pam, John’s double take when he saw Pam, the way Natalie sensed something was taking place that her presence might disrupt, so she excused herself although they didn’t noticed. They made eye contact, and she couldn’t take her eyes off his.
“Hi, Mrs. Smith? I’m John Zapelli.” Pam extended her hand, but the name and the face were familiar. She tried to place him and then he solved the mystery for her, noticing the confusion.