“Lucky baby Brent,” Pam replied, sincerely.
“I’m lucky to come to such a beautiful place as this.”
“Yes, well too bad about the weather today.” When his food was ready, Pam asked to feed him. He was a good eater, stretching for each mouth full like a baby bird, talking gibberish the entire time. Valarie took him for a diaper change after he ate, with still no sign of Sandra.
Lying on the comfortable bed in Pam’s bright and airy guest room, the rain and gray skies couldn’t dampen her spirits. She’d just spent almost an hour talking on the phone with the most fascinating man she’d met since Jack died, and the conversation left her feeling liquid and breathless. After saying goodbye, she stretched up, looking out the window to the sea. The upper rooms at Pam’s reminded her of being on Jason’s boat; the view was phenomenal in spite of the weather. Windows around three sides, yellow walls reflected what little light there was and it felt cheerful in spite of the clouds. She pulled a robe around her body and stepped out on the balcony. The canvas awning whipped back and forth, allowing spray to fall over her, but she welcomed it, it made her feel alive. Leaning over the railing, the beach stretched out forever without a soul in sight.
If she worked it right, this new man might come to visit her in Brooklyn again soon. He was from out of town, so the logistics of getting together were a problem. Meeting during the day for lunch, he’d managed a few hours afterward with her on Friday. It was so amazing, the feeling and intensity he put into lovemaking, and she got weak in the knees thinking about it.
Jack was fabulous too; intelligent and witty and handsome, but in bed, it was as if he could just barely make the effort. Of course, she knew why now. He was spent.
With Tom, well Tom was young. He didn’t know much about pleasing a woman yet because he was all about pleasing himself. And Pete was just a kid. This man was a
man
. “Pull yourself together, Benson.”
“Knock knock, hello,” Valarie called out. “Is my momma awake?”
“Come in, baby boy!” Sandra reached for Brent and he was all giggles and happiness seeing his mother. “I’ll get dressed and we can head back to Brooklyn. There’s no point in staying here in this weather.”
“Okay, I’ll get us packed up and you can get your coffee,” Valarie said.
Pam heard Sandra as she was coming down the stairs. “Good morning! Or should I say, good afternoon.”
“Ha, sorry, Pam. It’s so wonderful up there, I could barely move. Can I have some coffee? And then I think I’ll call for our car early. Get out of your hair on this rainy day.”
“Oh, I called Lisa to come over and see the baby. The whole family will be here in about ten minutes. You can see Miranda, too.”
“Oh boy, you’re kidding,” she said. “Ten minutes? I better get in the shower. I’ll take my coffee up if that’s okay.”
Pam went back out to the veranda to enjoy a few more minutes of peace before little feet overran the house.
Chapter 19
Gray and rainy in Manhattan, too, Natalie was worried about the weather that threatened all the way down the coast. Ted wanted to drive Jeff’s car home, but they weren’t sure he even had a license.
“Let Zach come down on the train,” Natalie urged. “He’s going to the station now and will be there by seven. Let him drive you home, okay dear? Don’t get behind the wheel.” He agreed to wait for Zach, alternately crying for Jeff and cursing Jason out for being so selfish as to have an accident.
“We’d be in Rhinebeck now, instead of in this god-awful town. He’d be alive, planning what we were going to eat for the fifth time that day. That man cooked more food than a short order cook. We ate five times a day upstate, did you know that?” Natalie thought, just like Ashton. “He’d probably still be alive if we were there.”
“Ted, he had a heart attack in a
hospital
. That place is like number three in the country for cardiac care. I looked it up myself. I’m sure they did everything they could for him.”
“The ride here was too much,” Ted cried. “We promised ourselves we’d relax this weekend, not drive six hours in traffic from hell.”
“Ted, Deborah and I need you to be strong until you get home so we can take care of you.” She could hear him sniffing, trying to get it together.
“Stay on the phone with me until Zach gets here,” he begged.
“Deborah and I will take turns talking with you,” she replied, Deborah nodding her head. “You’ve been through another shock in a short time. We have to protect you from any more pain.”
“Oh God! I forgot about that prick Ashton killing himself,” Ted screamed into the phone. Deborah, hearing, frowned while Natalie rolled her eyeballs.
Why’d I bring it up?
she mouthed.
Trying to change the subject for just a little bit, Natalie asked about Jason.
“He’s devastated. That ass of a daughter of his went up to the room, I swear to God he had just regained consciousness and she told him about both Aaron and Jeff. The nurses had a fit, now she’s banned from seeing her dad. Go figure.”
Deborah took over from her mother, pacifying her father, crying with him. She was fond of Jeff, although he was no replacement for Ashton. “Daddy, you need to stay single for a while,” she said solemnly. “Men at your age are in a high-risk group, physically and mentally. You need to make sure your next husband is healthy in both mind and body.”
“I’m staying with your mother,” Ted said. Deborah gasped. “
Don’t
say anything to her because she’ll think it’s a bunch of crap because I’m grieving.”
“I won’t say a word, but you’re right about that. She won’t believe it.
I
won’t believe it.”
“I love her, Deborah. I always have, since we met again and I found out we had you. We’re a family, the three of us.”
“But you can’t be unfaithful to her with men because it’ll break her heart,” Deborah said.
“I’m not twenty-five anymore,” Ted replied. “What I feel for her goes beyond sex. If we’d never had you, it would be different. But there’s you. I’ve been married twice now and neither marriage worked out.”
“Because the men died, Dad. You were happy with Jeff,” Deborah exclaimed.
“Jeff needed an audience and I was happy to supply it,” Ted admitted. “Of course, I loved him, but how much can you love someone you hardly know? Now what I feel for your mother is so different, it’s these past few years of intense interaction. It’s our history. It’s you. I am willing to sacrifice being with a man for that.” Deborah was shaking her head, incredulous. Her father had lost his mind.
“Dad, listen to me. Don’t do anything. They say not to do anything for a year after a spouse dies. You and Mom can live together for the rest of your lives, but you don’t need to be exclusive. You don’t need to stop seeing other people. She has a relationship with Ben don’t forget. That was a long time coming. She’d been alone all those years. It would be sad to break that up if you weren’t intending on being with her.”
“She doesn’t love him, she told me so,” Ted tossed back. “We love each other.
In every way.
”
“Oh, now, Dad,
that’s too much information
,” Deborah whined. “There are just some things that are better left unsaid.” She didn’t want to imagine her mother and father having sex as any child would not,
especially those two
.
She heard Ted give a little laugh and that made her happy. They just had to get him home safe from Delaware. “Dad, we’ll take one day at a time, okay? Just relax. You don’t need to declare your love to anyone for a long while.”
When Deborah had enough, Natalie took over and so on through the afternoon, the three of them sharing tears for Jeff and Ashton, anger at life in general and finally, gratefulness that they had each other until finally Zach arrived in Delaware.
Lisa and Dan arrived at the beach with the four children. Sandra sat with Valarie and baby Brent talking on the veranda and Lisa came out to see them with Dan Junior riding on her hip.
“Baby Brent! Oh my look at how big you are,” she said, handing Dan off to his father, and taking Brent from Valarie. She walked around with him, bouncing him on her hip, putting him down so she could see how well he walked alone. “I can’t believe how big he is.” She ran after him, laughing when he went into the main house, and Valarie followed to give assistance as needed. Dan sat down on the couch next to Sandra when Lisa was safely out of sight.
“So, this is the famous baby,” she purred. He starred along the length of her, her long legs in a short dress leaving little to the imagination.
“Yep, this is Dan Junior.”
“She allowed you to name Miss New York’s kid after you? Boy, that’s devotion.”
“Lisa takes after her mother,” he whispered. Sandra laughed out loud.
“Oh, is that right. Well,
I
think you’re lucky to be alive.” Lisa chased Brent back out onto the veranda, laughing.
“We need to get Brent and Marcus together more often. They’re first cousins! I keep forgetting. Sandra, he sure is cute.”
“Thank you, Lisa. I think so, too.”
“Your nanny is very attentive,” she said. Dan got up with baby Dan and left the room, talk of nannies and babies suddenly too boring.
“Yes, I’m very lucky,” Sandra said, looking carefully at Lisa, her young body after two children, her youthful, healthy skin and hair. She was definitely Pam’s daughter. Five years made a big difference in a woman, as she compared herself to Lisa. Sandra felt old and used up.
“I need to get a second nanny. Four little ones are too much even with my mother-in-law staying with us. Ed’s mother, not Dan’s.” Pam walked in holding Miranda’s hand.
“Hi Aunt Sandra,” she said in her little voice. Sandra drummed up interest in the child; after all, they did live with each other for almost four years.
“Hi there, Miranda! How are you?” Visibly struggling to bring herself down to the level where she could converse with the four year old, Pam saw the wisdom of removing Miranda from Sandra’s care; sorry she’d taken so long. If Sandra and Tom were still together, would Miranda still be with them? Pam shuddered, guilt leading her to reach out and pull the little girl closer.
Finally, gratefully, Sandra said it was time for them to go. Their car would arrive any minute and she wanted to gather up her belongings and be ready when it got there. The next minutes were a bit of a madhouse with everyone having the last hug and kiss from little Brent, too big to be called
baby
much longer.
When they finally left, even though four little children were still in the house, the relief felt was enormous. “Whew, was it just me or did a lot of energy just purge when they walked out of the door?” Pam whispered to Lisa as baby Marcus reached out asking to be held. Pam picked him up and he immediately put his head down on her shoulder.
“
Everyone
needs a nap now,” Dan said, pointing. “We should get home, too.” Pam didn’t argue as they gathered their belongings in a repeat performance; the family leaving grandmother’s house. When the door finally shut after she waved them away, Pam looked at her watch and realized she hadn’t heard from John yet. The thought had just fluttered through her head when she heard a big diesel engine roaring up the street, and looking out the sidelights, breathed a sigh of relief. It was John.
Chapter 20
The weekend stretched out before her, anticipated to be boring and lonely. Cara Ellison was so lost she considered driving back to the grocery store just in case Lisa made another food run, the impulse to do a drive by the Chua’s house strong. She’d picked up a Friday Times, but there wasn’t a thing suitable for her in the classified section. Hopeful that Sunday’s paper would be better, she would just bide her time. No computer or television, she grabbed a paperback but it wasn’t a good fit and she couldn’t get into it. Friday night, she was in bed sleeping by eight-thirty, just like she did in prison.
Waking up Saturday morning at dawn, Cara didn’t know where she was at first. The bland white walls and simple shades made it seem lighter than it was outside. Getting out of bed, she pulled up the shade, forgetting that her bedroom overlooked the highway. Her lawyer told her to pretend the noise was the ocean. It was gray and raining. She didn’t know what to do to fill the time, plans to go to the park ruined and the library would be packed on the weekend. Then a miracle; her attorney called. Standing at the counter, absently stirring sugar into her coffee, she didn’t even realize the phone was connected when it suddenly rang. Scaring her, she leapt up and grabbed it to answer.
“I hope I’m not getting you at a bad time,” Clifton Johnson said with a snicker. As if he were standing in front of her, she could imagine the smirk on his face. Wanting to throw her phone against the wall, she remembered her anger management class.
“No Cliff, not at all. I’m used to getting up at dawn, after prison and all.” She flipped him the bird but stayed calm. “What are you calling about? I know it’s not to harass me about my sleep habits. And thank you for having the phone turned on.”
“You’re welcome. It will be reflected in my bill. I’ve got some pretty unbelievable news for you. You might actually want to sit down.” She took the cup of coffee, went over to her familiar table, and pulled a chair out.
“Get on with it Cliff. The suspense is killing me.”
“I got a call from your former lover, er nemesis,” he said.
“You better watch yourself, counselor. I believe what you just said to me could be surmised as harassment in a court of law.”
“Right. I apologize, Cara, please forgive me. Now can I get on with my reason for calling?” There was a possibility he was needling her on purpose.
“I think I just got it! If you piss me off badly enough, I’ll lose it, and then you’ll report me to my parole officer and make more money having to represent me when I get thrown back in jail.”
“No, no, no, nothing like that. You’re a dreamer, you know that? Shut up for a minute and let me talk, will you?” She bit her tongue as he listed what Dan and Lisa had decided to do in her favor. “Dan Chua withdrew the restraining order but with some parameters. You’re not to come over to their home or his office without calling first. There’s to be no harassing behavior, stalking, continuous texting and emailing, anything of that nature. Dan has several job leads to extend to you. If you are in interested in his help, call Donna at his office Monday morning.