CHAPTER ELEVEN
GINA MEADOWS
“Tabatha, I need to talk with you. Pick up the phone.” Three times I had called Tabatha and each time she ignored my call. I really needed to get her opinion before I accepted Gavin back into my life.
She picked up right as I was ready to hang up. “Bitch, why you blowing up my phone?”
A part of me wanted to get mad, but the other part of me was grateful she was on the line.
“Girl, stop playing. You know I love you. I just need some advice.”
“I should have known that your ass wasn’t just contacting me because you missed me.”
It had been a few months since I’d talked to Tabatha and, truth be told, I did miss her in my life, but I was not about to tell her that. She was nosey enough without that little bit of information.
“It’s Gavin. He’s out of prison and I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean you don’t know what to do? Shut the fucking door in his face. That boy is bad news. After all the shit he did, I’d be scared to have him around me.”
“Tabatha, he is my son.”
“Son of a fool. You don’t owe that man anything.”
“Tabatha, you’ve never had children. Even if his father was an asshole, I still owe his child.”
“Tabatha, Gavin’s twenty-five years old. The debt has been paid.”
There was some truth in Tabatha’s words. I didn’t have to continue caring for the child of a man who’d dogged me all these years, but I still loved Ronald and we continued to see each other. “You have a point. He just showed up at my door as if I owed him something.”
“I don’t see why. As hateful as you’ve been to him and Merlin, I don’t see why he darkened your doorstep in the first place.”
“I was not hateful.”
“Bitch, please. Ever since you aborted your baby you’ve been a hateful heifer to them boys. And you’re still a hateful bitch behind that shit to this day.”
“Tabatha, I didn’t call you for all of that.”
“The truth hurts. Why you think you and Merlin haven’t spoken in all these years? If you did that shit to me, I wouldn’t be bothered with your ass either.”
“I’ve got to go, Tabatha.” I hung up on her without waiting for her reply. Her words hit home and hurt me deeply.
I sighed and thought back to the day Merlin and I fell out. We had been drifting apart ever since he started dating Cojo in his senior year of high school. He spent more time at her house and less time with me. Things really hit the fan when he announced that he was getting married.
“What do you mean you’re getting married?” I yelled. I felt like he was much too young to get married.
“Yes, I’m getting married.” He poked out his narrow chest and stared at me.
“Is Cujo pregnant?”
“Her name is Cojo, not Cujo. And no, she is not pregnant.”
I wasn’t really trying to piss him off, but he had thrown me for a loop. “Then why the big rush to get married?” I demanded.
“We’re not rushing. We just know what we want and there is no point to waiting.”
“Yes, there is. You hardly know this heffa.”
“If we are going to continue this conversation, I would appreciate it if you would stop calling my future wife out of her name.”
I was stunned. This was the first time in Merlin’s entire life that he ever stood up to me. I reached back and slapped the shit out of him. He rubbed the side of his face but he didn’t back down. I immediately regretted hitting him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” He did not respond right away, and I assumed that he was trying to get his emotions under control before this conversation went to a whole different level.
“We’re getting married on May twenty-third, one week after we graduate. I’d like you to be there, but if you don’t feel like it, I will try to understand.” He turned and walked out the door.
That was the beginning of the end for my relationship with Merlin.
I staggered down the aisle. I had no intentions of going to the wedding, but liquor has a way of making you do stupid shit. I had spent the entire week drinking until I passed out. I was so upset with Merlin I didn’t know what to do.
“If I could just get him to listen to me, I’m sure I could make him change his mind,” I muttered out loud.
The church was full with the students Merlin went to school with, and, I guessed, Cojo’s family. I don’t even remember how I got to the church; I was so drunk. I looked around to see if Ronald was there, but I didn’t immediately see him. I took a seat a few rows from the back. I would have walked up closer, but I wasn’t sure my legs were going to support me.
“This is some bullshit.” I was getting angrier by the second.
Merlin stood facing the altar with the priest and waited for his bride. He turned around and looked to the door at the back of the church, and I saw the eagerness on his face. Suddenly, he didn’t look like Merlin to me; he was Ronald. I shook my head in confusion.
“Ronald.” I struggled to get out of the pew. I could not believe that my dream was finally going to come true. I rushed down the aisle to get to him. “I’m coming, Ronald,” I whispered. I didn’t see Cojo walk up the aisle until she joined hands with Ronald.
“No!” I yelled.
All eyes were on the front of the church, so no one was really paying me any attention. She looked lovely, but there was something wrong. Cojo was wearing my dress! I looked down to see what I was wearing, and I was appalled to see I was wearing blue jeans and a tattered robe with slippers on my feet.
“This isn’t right.” I looked up to see if Ronald noticed that she was wearing my dress. He wasn’t even looking at me; he was staring at Cojo.
“How did you get my dress, you bitch?” I reached for Cojo, but she jumped behind Merlin.
“Ms. Meadows? What are you doing?” Her face was twisted up into an awful grimace, and she kept turning her head as if she smelled something foul.
Merlin frowned. “Mom? What are you doing?”
“She’s trying to steal you away from me, Ronald.” I reached out to Cojo again, but Merlin guarded her well. “Let go of that heffa and let’s get married.” I saw the ring that he was about to place on her finger and I grabbed it from him. “Give me my damn ring.”
“You’re drunk.” He turned his nose up at me and looked at Cojo.
Everyone in the church was talking with shocked looks on their faces.
“Who is that?” the crowd whispered.
“I think that’s Merlin’s mother.”
“Get out of here.”
“What the hell is she wearing?”
“I think she’s drunk. I heard she wasn’t stable, something to do with Merlin’s father.”
“Who is this Ronald she is talking about?”
“That’s Merlin’s father.” I slipped the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly.
“It fits, Ronald. She tried to ruin things for you and me, but I’m not going to let her.”
Cojo started to cry. “You’re trying to ruin my wedding.”
I reached for her again, but only managed to grab the flowers out of her hand. “Let’s do this, Ronald. I’ve been waiting all my life to be your wife.”
“Mother!” Merlin yelled.
I didn’t understand why he was yelling at me on the day that I was finally marrying his father. I reached for Cojo again and managed to grab the bodice of her dress. I yanked it hard, trying to get the dress so I could finally get married. I felt the fabric tear, and I yelled out in frustration. “Give me my dress, bitch.” I had lost all rational thought.
I wanted the heifer to go away. I could see the anger on Merlin’s face. I never thought I would live to see the day he’d hit me, but he did. He slapped me across the face, breaking me out of the trance I was in.
“Merlin?” My head started spinning. I looked around at all the faces in the church as the reality of what I’d done rushed back to me. “Oh, God.” I started to fall on the floor, but Merlin caught me before I could hit the ground. “I just wanted to say I do . . .” Cojo rushed up and grabbed my other hand. I turned to her to apologize for my behavior. The bile in my stomach rose to my mouth and before I could stop myself, I puked all over Cojo’s beautiful dress.
CHAPTER TWELVE
GAVIN MILLS
After struggling with the unfamiliar door, I finally managed to get it open, and tossed my keys on the kitchen counter. I was so deep in thought, I didn’t even see my mother draped over the living room sofa.
“How did it go?” She looked at me and I wanted to smack her. She was a tricky bitch and I was lucky to find her. This was the third apartment she had moved to since I was locked up.
“All right.” I was not ready to discuss my visit with Merlin just yet. I still had some figuring to do. Something had changed about him, and I had to figure out what it was before I proceeded.
“Just all right? Was he there?” she demanded.
“Uh, yeah, he was there.” I took off my jacket and was about to head back to my room, but it was obvious my mother wasn’t done with our conversation. “He paid for my cab fare.”
“Don’t you walk away from me, boy, while I’m talking to you.”
My skin bristled as I digested the comment. It really pissed me off that my mother insisted on calling me a boy, despite the fact that I was halfway through my twenties. I bit my tongue to keep from telling her exactly how I felt, because Gina could be a vengeful bitch. She would kick me out of her house and not even bat an eye, so I treaded carefully. “Sorry, Mother, I didn’t realize you had something else you wanted to discuss.” I lifted her feet off the sofa and sat down with her tiny feet on my lap. Gently, I massaged her toes. I knew this was one way to bring out her other half, the half that I loved. Growing up with a Gemini woman was a stone-cold trip. You never knew who you were talking to until you felt the backside of her hand upside your head.
“Umph.” She sniffed.
I could tell that she accepted my peacemaking attempt. Truth be told, the last thing I wanted to do in this world was to rub her crusty feet. If I had more money in my pocket than the measly $ 200 my brother gave me, I would’ve treated her to a pedicure.
I looked at the room and I felt like I had stepped back in time. The sofa that we were sitting on was the same one that had graced our living room when Merlin and I were younger. It was still encased in plastic, which had yellowed over the years. Part of me just wanted to take off the plastic and let the sofa breathe.
“Was his trick there?”
“You mean his wife?” I knew exactly who she was talking about, but refused to go there with her.
Gina had yet to tell me what exactly she had against sexy-ass Cojo. Until she did, I was going to walk softly.
“I said exactly what I meant and you know it.” Gina folded her arms across her ample chest. For a minute, my gaze lingered. The size of her breasts never ceased to amaze me. For such a tiny woman, she had the biggest natural breasts that I’d ever seen. I suppose that’s why I’d always been attracted to busty women. They could be dumb as a doorknob, but if they had a set of knockers, ooh whee, I was in lust.
“Yeah, she was there.” I kept right on massaging my mother’s toes, hoping that she would give up her third degree. For a brief second, I felt a tinge of jealousy because my mother was more interested in what my brother was doing at his house than in me. After all, it had been seven years since we had seen each other and the first words out of her mouth when she opened the door were about whether I’d stayed in contact with him. Shrugging, I pushed away those ugly thoughts and tried to enjoy being with her again.
“Why are you being so damned secretive?” She pulled her feet off my lap and sat up on the sofa.
Part of me wanted to rush to the bathroom and wash my hands, but I knew that would send her into a tizzy, and I did not need the bullshit. All I wanted to do was go in my room and take a nap. Merlin’s wife wore me the fuck out, and I needed to re-energize. “I ain’t being secretive; it’s just nothing that I want to talk about right now. I’m tired. The trip here was three hours; I need a bath and a bed, in that order.” I was hoping my little plea for sympathy would get me off the hook for a few hours, but my mother wasn’t having it.
“You’ve got all night to sleep. I want to know what your brother is up to.”
“He ain’t up to nothing. How come you didn’t tell me that he enlisted in the Army?”
“He did what?” She jumped off the sofa and started pacing the room. She grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the coffee table and struck a match to the end.
The acrid smoke filled the room; I stifled the urge to cough. I hated cigarette smoke, and I felt like she lit it just to torment me. As an asthmatic, I tried to stay away from it because it forced me to use my inhaler. It’d been three long years since I had to use it, and I didn’t want to start back using it now. “Must you smoke that thing while I’m in the room?”
“Negro, please, this is my damn house. If you don’t like it, you can get the fuck out.”
I just shook my head; some things never change. She had been telling me to get the fuck out, it seemed, for my entire life. I stood up.
“Where the fuck do you think you are going? I wanna hear about your brother and the service.”
“I’ll tell you, Mother, but I cannot stay in the room if you insist on smoking.” I held my breath just in case she told me to get the hell out of her house.
“Fine, I’ll put it out. Now tell me.” She snubbed her cigarette into the ashtray and flopped back against the cushions of the sofa, as if I had stolen her lollipop.
“He just got home from Iraq. From what I gathered, he’s been gone for about six months.”
“My baby has been gone for six months, and he didn’t even bother to tell me?”
Gina was a fucking trip. She chose the damnedest times to claim us as her children. Most of the time, she ignored the shit out of us and complained about not having her own child.
“I don’t know nothing about it. None of y’all wrote to me and told me shit. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, I guess I wouldn’t have known either.”
She frowned at my spicy language. “Did you ask him why he made such a foolish move?”
“No, frankly, I didn’t. I’m going to take a shower. Perhaps you will be done with your cigarette by the time I’m finished and we can continue our talk.” I walked away knowing full well she might pick up any object and swing it at my head. Luckily for me, she didn’t exercise that option.
“Yeah, take your ass to bed. Maybe when you wake up, you won’t be in such a stank mood.”
If she thought my mood was stank, it was obvious that she hadn’t checked herself out in the last thirteen years. “Are there towels in the bathroom?”
“Yeah, in the closet, and don’t go messing up my fancy ones on the wall. And make sure you put the toilet seat down when you use it. If I dunk my ass one time, your black ass is out of here.”
“Yes, Mother,” I whispered through clenched teeth. If she’d told me once, she had told me three thousand times about letting down the seat, and I was sick of hearing it. Although I loved my mother, she could work my last nerve. I gently closed the bathroom door, even though I wanted to slam it. For the umpteenth time, I wondered if I’d made a mistake by coming back.
After a seven-year bid with the Federal Bureau of Corrections in Edgefield, South Carolina, I didn’t have a lot of options. Although I got my GED while in prison, and graduated from Oasis’s novel writing class, I had no real work experience, and my cash flow was nonexistent. My plan was to come home, regroup, and try to get on my feet in familiar surroundings; however, I’d forgotten how dysfunctional home really was, and I was beginning to wonder if the security of a roof over my head was worth the mental torture that living with Mother brought.
Taking off my clothes, I filled the tub, hoping to revive my spirits. It had been a long time since I’d been able to take a bath, and I planned on enjoying every minute of it. I stepped in. I immediately began to relax, and the things that I’d been stressing over moments before no longer seemed important. I hadn’t realized until that moment how much prison had changed me. Just being able to close the bathroom door was a luxury that had been taken from me. I grabbed a yellow bar of Dial and smelled it. “Ah, I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.” Anything that didn’t smell like prison-issued lye was heaven sent to me because I didn’t have money to buy anything while I was in. That prison shit made your skin itch something terrible, and the smell followed you around for hours. I inhaled deeply, fully appreciating something as simple as a bar of soap.
I soaped my washcloth thoroughly and reveled in the feeling of the bubbles gliding over my skin. I was feeling so good, I wanted to break out with a song, but since I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, I decided to leave that alone.
As my hand glided over my dick, I froze. My thoughts went back to Cojo, and I began to stiffen. A slow smile slid across my face as I remembered her fat pussy lips and the way they wrapped around my dick and sucked me in. She was quite a handful and just what the doctor ordered after my imprisonment. “I’m gonna have to hit that again.”
Gina banged on the door like she was a CO. “Gavin, don’t you be in my tub jacking off and shit.”
“Damn, she can ruin a wet dream.” I rinsed the remaining soap off my body, then stepped out of the tub. I looked down at my clothes in disgust. I didn’t feel like putting them back on. I stuck my head out the door. “Mother, do you still have my old clothes?”
“Hell no. I know you didn’t think I would be carting that stuff around with me when I moved,” she hollered back.
My heart sank because I would have no choice but to put on my dirty clothes again or walk around in the buff. “I just asked.” As much as I wanted to argue with my mother, I knew it would be pointless, and I didn’t want to be out on the front porch for the night.
“Call your trifling brother and see if he can bring you over some clothes. I sure would like to see him.”
Wow, that was actually a good idea, and I was surprised that I didn’t think of it myself. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I padded out to the living room to make the call. “What’s his number?”
“Hell, you were just over to his apartment, why didn’t you get the number while you were there?”
Sometimes I just wanted to strangle her. “I forgot. Things were happening kind of fast. Do you have the number?”
She got up off the sofa and went into her bedroom. I could hear her grumbling, but I pretended not to notice. She came back a few minutes later carrying a small phonebook. After flipping through several pages, she finally called out the number.
The phone rang three times before Merlin came on the line. “Long time no hear from, Mother.”
I hung up the phone. The last thing that I wanted was for Merlin to know that I was staying with our mother instead of in the hotel he’d given me money for.
“Why did you do that?” Gina demanded.
Thinking fast, I blurted out, “His wife answered.”
“Well, I don’t blame you then. I hate her.”
I kept my hand on the receiver just in case Merlin decided to call back. If he did, I would have to make up something to say that would explain my presence.
“So what are you going to do now?”
“Can I wash my clothes here? I’ll stop by and see Merlin in the morning about getting some other clothes.”
“I guess, but don’t be making this no habit. Ain’t nothing in this apartment free, and I don’t have money to be wasting it on extra water and shit.” She lit up a cigarette.
“Okay, Mother, I get it. Just give me a few weeks to get on my feet and I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Humph. I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve heard it all before . . . Just can’t do right.”
There was a hint of sadness mixed with sarcasm in her voice and it hurt. She blamed me for my shortcomings, but I blamed her. If she’d been more loving and nurturing, maybe things would not have turned out as they did. As it was, she pitted me against my brother from as far back as I could remember. I wanted to say all those things and more, but I was forced to suck it up until I could do better.
I placed my clothes in the washer and went into the spare bedroom to take a nap. Gina was still on the sofa watching television as I gently closed the door behind me. With any luck, her other half would be around when I woke up.