Shy Town Girls (18 page)

“
Really? But I thought. . . why
didn’t you tell me?”

“
Maybe for the same reason you
didn’t tell me about the studio. I had to make sure I had the
strength to make it stick.”

“
And did you? Have the strength, I
mean?”

“
I don’t even need strength for it
anymore,” I said with a smile. “Because it’s easy.”

“
It is?”

“
Yes. What I need the strength for
now, is. . . getting you to see that I—that I want. . .”

“
You want?” he encouraged me
softly.

“
I want you, Oliver.”

He looked down at me. All of a sudden there was no
need for words. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
His lips pressed against mine in the most gentle kiss. It was soft
and tentative at first, but it quickly flared into something else
entirely, becoming hungry and desperate, and it left us both
breathless. It was strange, scary, and exciting, but it felt like
coming home.

My hands were numb. My ears, nose, and the tips of my
toes were ice, but my heart was racing. I looked up to see whether
the clouds had parted right above us, and the stars were on fire.
He looked up too.

“
Remember when I used to make up the
names of constellations?” I asked.

He laughed. “Yeah, like calling the big dipper
Andromenapolous.”

“
I just did it to impress you, you
know.”

“
Impress me? Really?”

“
Uh huh.” I laughed, blushing. I
thought, There is no other place in the world I’d rather be than
sitting in the dark with him by my side. “What would I do without
you, Olly?”

“
You’d probably find yourself in a
white padded room in a straight jacket.”

I pretended to take a swing at him, and he gently
grabbed my hand. “Jesus, your hands are ice!”

“
I know!”

“
We better go.”

“
I don’t want to go. I’m happy here.
But I don’t want you to get hypothermia.”

He had his arms around me, trying to keep me warm.
“Do you know the best way to take care of hypothermia?” he
asked.

“
How?”

“
Naked body warmth,” he
said.

“
Hmm. I wonder how we might arrange
that?”

“
I’ve got an idea.”

I could hear his heart pounding, the rhythm of the
blood pumping through his veins thrilled me. My heart was sinking
into the depths of the earth. It was the closest I’d ever been to
crying tears of joy. My throat ached as I fought back my tears.

“
You hear that?” he
asked.

“
Hear what?” I asked. “All I hear is
your heartbeat.”

“
Listen, it’s music.”

“
Mr. Prince, there’s no music.” I
tried listening, but heard nothing but the wind.

He stood and extended his hand. “Dance with me, my
princess.” He smiled. “My darling.”

I stood up from the stone bench and took his warm
hand. He twirled me around and pulled me close. “You’re the one for
me,” his lips murmured against my hair.

We spent the rest of the evening walking, talking,
hugging, kissing and talking some more until we both were hoarse.
Finally, we ended up at my place. I would have invited him in. I
wanted to, but I had enough experience to know that I wanted our
first time together to be something really special, and I was
willing to wait.

Chapter 17

Knock, knock.

“
Morning, sleepy head!” Meryl poked
her head in my bedroom door.

I growled, “What time is it?”

“
I was thinking we could have a
quick rooftop coffee together. Get up. Get up!”

“
Okay, okay. Let me grab a
blanket.”

I crawled out of bed, snatching my plush throw, and
we climbed up the stairs towards the steel door. On the terrace, we
sat and sipped hot coffee -- satisfying and warm in contrast with
the frigid air.

“
Something’s up with you,” Meryl
said. “You have that look about you today. . . What is
it?”

“
Nothing at all. In fact. . . all is
well. Very well.”

“
Bobbie!” she exclaimed. “What’s
going on?” She looked at me intently.

“
It’s nothing!” I yelled, but
laughed. Every girl in the world had uttered that phrase and knew
that “nothing” was always jammed packed with a lot of somethings.
“Okay, so I’m lying.”

“
Is it. . . boy drama
again?”

“
Yep. I think you could say yes.
Definitely.”

“
Oh, no, Bobbie. . . you didn’t get
back together with Charlie. Tell me you didn’t. . .”

“
No! God, no. It’s. . . it’s not
Charlie.”

“
Then. . . is it Zander?”

“
It’s Oliver.”

“
Ohhhh. . . .” She nodded knowingly.
“Well it’s about time.” She murmered.

“
Now, I know it hasn’t been that
long since Charlie and I broke up, and you probably think I should
be single for a while, you know, to get my own sense of self
together, but. . . I really like him, Meryl, like really really
like him.”

“
Bobbie.”

“
What?”

“
I think it’s great.”

“
You do?”

“
I do. I love Oliver. He’s one of
the best guys I know. And I know he’s crazy about you.”

“
He is? I mean, you know that? How
do you know that?”

“
It’s obvious, Bobbie. I can see by
the way he looks at you.”

Ahh. . . that warmed my heart, and made me think of
something Barbara had said. You’ll know you have found him by the
way he looks at you. . .

“
I’m really happy for you,” she
said, but not with real conviction.

“
Thanks. But why am I not
convinced?”

“
Bobbie, don’t take this the wrong
way, but. . . I really didn’t think you’d have the sense to go for
a man like Oliver! I really thought you’d have to blow through a
few more Charlies before you learned your lesson.”

I burst out laughing. I felt a little insulted by her
comment, but I had to admit, I understood it. “So, anyway,” I said,
“On to a more important topic. Are we all having dinner on the roof
tonight?”

“
You betcha. Barbara’s famous
chicken cacciatore! Ella and Ivy are in charge of cocktails and
wine. Do you want to take care of dessert?”

“
Music to my ears. And taste buds.
I’m thinking cheesecake. Ella’s been dragging me to her dance
classes, and my ass has never been tighter. I’m going to
splurge.”

“
Dancing is the cure to
everything.”

“
Yeah, you don’t need to tell me.
I’ve walked in on you during your solo Brazilian samba nights, you
weirdo,” I laughed, sipping my coffee.

“
Don’t make fun of me. I like to
samba!”

“
Well, that’s great, ‘cause if I
have anything to say about it, we’re gonna samba tonight.” Meryl
and I spent the rest of the morning chatting about her new beau and
the guys waltzing in and out both Ella’s and Ivy’s lives on a
weekly basis. I had to say I was surprised. I realized that with
all of my recent 911’s in life, I had not taken the time to notice
that my roomies had 911’s of their own. I made a solemn promise to
myself to turn my attention toward their priorities just as soon as
I finished taking the upcoming LSAT. I spent the rest of the day
studying, quizzing my roomies on their love lives and, of course,
chatting with Olly.

Chapter
18

That evening each of us brought up a plate to the
rooftop deck. I had bought a my favorite caramel cheesecake from
Eli’s Cheesecake Company. Meryl had made a large bowl of Greek
salad, and Barbara was fighting Ella to carry the chicken
cacciatore. “I’m not dead yet, dolly!” We could hear Barbara’s
voice coming up the stairwell. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“
Will someone get the door?” Ivy
attempted to yell, holding her fleece blanket between her teeth.
She had two bottles of red wine and cocktail mixers for
Barbara.

Meryl turned on the fire pit. The heat blazed. Ella
turned her iPod dock to Barbara’s favorite playlist, Hits from the
1950s, and Ivy poured drinks. I popped a piece of some wonderful
Gouda in my mouth, washing it down with a red wine that tasted
bitterly sweet. The wind was mingling the smells of the food and
drink with the mix of perfumes we’d all been wearing that day:
Barbara’s rose-scent, my Coco Chanel, Meryl’s sweet lavender,
Ella’s sugar vanilla, and Ivy’s mystery scent that reminded me of
mandarin oranges.

As we set up the plates, forks, knives, and the
buffet-style dining, I watched Barbara glide across the roof in her
embroidered coat with amatching scarf blowing in the wind. She
truly was a free spirit, at times completely oblivious to the world
around her. She twirled and faced me. “Bobbie, baby, did I ever
finish telling you about the true meaning of love?

“
Oh, the meaning of love. . .” I
looked at the girls, smiling. “No, Barbara, please do finish
telling us about the meaning of love!”

“
So where did we leave off?” she
asked as she twiddled her fingers, motioning Ivy to fix her a
cocktail.

“
You told me about Eros and Philia.
. .”

“
Ah yes, that’s right, the passion
of Eros, the enduring friendship of Philia. Dollies?” she called to
Ivy and Ella. “Did I ever tell you two about the meaning of love?
Meryl?”

Meryl shook her head no, Ella shook her head no, and
Ivy began talking with food in her mouth. “Like only about a
hundred ti—” She was cut short in mid-sentence when Ella discreetly
kicked her.

“
Oh, riiiight. . . the meaning of
love,” Ivy said. She looked at me, covering her mouth with her hand
and whispering, “Only a hundred times.”

I couldn’t help but think that the meaning of love
wasn’t something you should hear just once.

“
Eros is the spirit that inspires
love between two people,” Barbara said, as the wind dramatically
whipped her scarf behind her. “You know, the butterflies.
Now...Eros is quite cut and dry. Either you want to be stark naked
under the sheets or you don’t! Am I right, ladies?”

“
That depends. How many drinks have
I had?” Ivy asked.

“
As long as he has a six pack!”
Ella said.

“
And is well endowed,” I added
scandalously.

“
Bobbie!” Meryl
exclaimed.

“
Endowed with creative talent!” I
corrected and smirked.

“
Oh, she right about that, honey,”
Barbara said and winked at us.

We all fell into hysterical laughter.

Barbara sat down, like a queen on her throne, and
like devoted subjects, we gathered around her. Due jumped up on her
lap, and she stroked him as she talked. “In the beginning,” she
said, “a person is always going to put their best foot forward, you
know, the men showing off... the girls with their makeup and
perfume... But love takes time and patience. These two people must
go through both joys and sorrows, pleasures and pains, and still in
the end want to be together. Philia is the true test of the
relationship!”

Barbara took a big swig of the cocktail Ivy had
served her. Raising her finger, she said, “Last but not least, we
have Agape. Agape is the fusion of Eros and Philia. It is much more
difficult to comprehend and almost impossible to understand. The
only way to understand Agape is to live it and let it consume you.
Agape is unique for everyone, but it is truly what binds us.”

Silence descended as Barbara paused, until a hint of
wind rustled the dead leaves. The fire pit crackled in the
background.

“
Find a man or be found by a man,
and be in love with his uniqueness.”

Hanging onto every word out of Barbara’s mouth, I
began to feel my heart race, my head spin. I felt simultaneously
lighter and fuller. That’s what this is, I thought. That’s what I’m
feeling.

When I thought about Oliver, I realized he had an
effect on me that no one else had. I couldn’t explain it. With
Oliver I felt at home yet more free than I’d ever felt before. It
felt natural yet thrilling. It felt solid and at the same time,
light. It was all something foreign to me, something I had never
felt before, but it still felt strangely familiar. I began to
chuckle, tears filling up my eyes with joyous relief. The girls
looked at me. I then began to laugh uncontrollably, tears streaming
from my face, they looked at each other. Barbara gazed at me with a
nod, she knew.

“
Girls...I want to be naked with my
best friend! It is the fusion of Eros with Philia. I found
Agape!”

I held onto my chair because I thought I’d fly away,
my head spinning.

I was in love.