Shutout (The Renegades Series Book 5) (22 page)

“Well, I understand it would’ve been a tough time for him. But surely Dom should’ve been the one to decide that? Did he ever say anything like that to you?”

“No, but you know what he’s like. He wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me. I didn’t dare talk to him about it, because I knew him too well. He would’ve just said all the right things and convinced me to stay. But I couldn’t be responsible for destroying his dream.”

“I still can’t believe those girls would say such things.”

“I don’t think she even realized how much it hurt me. They were just being honest and telling it how they saw it. But what hurt the most was when Rosa said that when Dom finally got married, it should be to a woman who understood the demands of hockey, someone who would spend her life supporting him and who would produce a bunch of little Zanettis to continue the family legacy. Anna pointed out that I couldn’t even skate.” Hailee wiped a tear from her cheek. “And I knew they were right. If I stayed with him, he’d be pulled in two directions. I would hold him back and ruin his chances of ever playing in the Professional Hockey League. So I ran.”

Her mom put her hand over Hailee’s. “Oh, Hailee. I had no idea that’s how you were feeling. I wished you’d talked to me at the time. I thought after you two broke up, you left here because you were so determined to have your own career.”

“Well, I wanted Dom to think that, so I let everyone think that, until I believed it myself. And I did want to follow my own dream too — I still do. But you know how important hockey is for the Zanettis. It’s all they live for. I just didn’t see how a relationship could possibly work out so that both of us could have what we wanted. I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you back then, Mom. I just had to get away.”

“You know, when you packed your bags and stormed off, I suspected that Dom had done something to hurt you. But now I understand. You were still in love with him when you left. You thought you were doing what was best for him. That must’ve been very hard for you.” Her mom looked at her sadly. “And what about now, after all this time?”

“Running into him again made me realize I still had unresolved feelings for him. I still have no interest in being someone’s stay at home wife. I want to have an art gallery. I want to be a success.”
But I still want to be someone’s wife. I just want to be me too. Can I be both with him? I’ve really messed up.

“And you will be, dear. Why don’t you talk to him about all this? I’m sure he’d understand.”

“Because even if I got back together with him, it wouldn’t change the fact that I’d be dragging him down. He’s still proving himself in hockey, and I’m just starting out. He could be traded at any time, and then what about my gallery? I’m so close to getting it up and running. And I know him. He’d choose me over his career, and that’s why we can’t do this. I’m just a liability.”

“Hailee, you’re so wrapped up in this crap his sisters told you three years ago,” Mia said. “You’re not thinking clearly. He’s not a rookie anymore.”

“I think Mia’s right,” her mom said. “He’s not a kid anymore either. His hockey career seems to be going just fine, and he’s doing well for himself. I think you owe it to him and yourself to be up front about this.”

Hailee squeezed her eyes closed in an attempt to stop more tears from falling. “I think it’s too late now. I acted on old feelings, then I panicked and ran away again. That was the last straw. He’s not waiting around for me anymore.”

“Hailee,” Mia said. “He said he’d always be there for you. That you were to call him if you needed anything.” She gave Hailee a grin. “I think maybe you need something.”

Brody said from the entryway, “Dom might need his ass kicked for not running after you when you left years ago, but he’s no fool. He still loves you. Of course I might still need to kick his ass for not fighting harder for you.”

“You still love him, don’t you?” her dad asked, following Brody into the room. He walked up behind her mom and put his hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve always loved him.”
I really do still love him. But it doesn’t matter now.
Her mom pulled her close as a hot tear rolled down her cheek.

* * *

Hailee flopped down on Mia’s couch. “I’m sorry I’m such a hot mess. Thanks for letting me crash here for the night.”

“No problem, Hay. I have all of the essential breakup remedies. We have ice cream, chocolate chip cookies and—”

Hailee’s phone started to ring. “Hang on. Hello?”

“Hi, Hailee?” The female voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it.

“Yes?”

“This is Rosalie Medina. Um, my maiden name was Zanetti. I hope you remember me.”

Rosalie Medina? Zanetti — Dominic’s sister
. “Yes, Rosalie, I remember you.”
What the hell is Rosalie calling me for?
A sick feeling rolled through Hailee’s stomach and her chest tightened. “Oh God, is Dominic okay?”

“What? Oh, yes, sorry there’s nothing wrong. He’s fine.”

Her heart rate settled down to almost normal. “Okay. Well that’s good then. Um, how are you?”

Mia gave her a look and mouthed, “Who?”

Hailee waved her friend off, curious as to what his sister wanted after all this time.

“I’m doing okay. Feeling a bit guilty, but okay.”

Why is she guilty, and why is she telling me?
“Um, I don’t know what to say to that. I’m confused as to why you’re calling me. Sorry.”

“I just called to clear something up. I feel like your breaking up with my brother was my fault.”

“Your fault? Why do you say that?” Hailee shook her head; this was confusing and hard to follow.

“I told you some things about how my family is, assuming Dom would follow the same path, but I should’ve known better. We were excited that you were going to be our new sister, and wanted you to be just like us. To understand our world and how it worked. But I scared you off instead.”

“Is this—”

“Please, I know you have questions, but just let me explain. Seeing the pain in my brother’s eyes tonight hurt me terribly. I just want to clarify things, then you two can do whatever you want. At least I won’t be the cause of it any longer, and I can look him in the eye again.” She sighed heavily. “I told you that as Dom’s wife you’d be expected to take care of him, that there was no room for a career because with him being in the league, you’d need to move at a moment’s notice.”

She couldn’t help herself, she had to interject. “Yeah, you basically said I was expected to be barefoot, bearing his children and cooking his meals.” Again, she didn’t want to sound bitchy, yet she did.

Rosalie’s sharp intake of breath told her she’d hit her mark. “Kind of, yes. If you didn’t already know this, my brother adored you and he isn’t like the other Zanetti men. Hell, he’s like no other man that I know. He always tries to help my mom with the dishes, or dinner, anything actually. As a boy, his favorite thing was to help Mom make cookies. Daddy would always tell him to watch whatever sports were on television with him, but he enjoyed that time with Mom. And even as an adult, he hates to see her work so much around the house. He’s a good guy. I don’t think that I’m telling you anything that you don’t already know.”

“No, you’re not.” She really wasn’t. For despite the doubt that scared her that day, she knew deep down that he wasn’t like that. “But that wasn’t the only thing that scared me. The two of you said some other things that day.” She still felt the chill their words sent through her.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. We were honestly worried that Dom was too young to be rushing into marriage when he needed to focus on his hockey. We loved you, but Anna thought maybe you weren’t serious enough about hockey the way our family is.” She hesitated, then cleared her throat. “When we told you he’d have to work hard to make it in hockey, and he would need your support, we were telling the truth. A marriage and responsibilities so young would’ve made things difficult for him just starting out. We’ve seen it happen. Rookies marry their high school sweethearts, then the stress of hockey takes its toll and the marriage doesn’t even last their first year in the minors. Then the guy’s career spirals down until he’s finished and out of the game. We didn’t want that to happen to Dom, so we felt we had to warn you.”

“And what about when you told me he deserved a woman who came from a hockey family, who understood all about the game?”

“I’m sorry about that, it was unforgivable. We just thought it would make you want to learn more about the game, be more involved. We wanted you to learn how to skate and come out on the ice with us. Be one of us.” She sighed. “We didn’t realize at the time was how involved you really were in your own way. Dom told us about all your paintings of hockey and him on the ice.”

Hailee had no words. Her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears and she felt faint.

Rosa continued. “But then when you didn’t accept Dom’s proposal, and you didn’t even stick around, we thought we’d proved a point. We told ourselves that you couldn’t have really loved him, that you weren’t prepared to support his hockey career, and he was better off.”

Hailee wanted to snap at Rosa, but she kept her voice as even as she could. “I left because I did love him. Because I would never want to hurt his career, or make him choose me and my career over his.”

“I understand that now. What we said was wrong, and you have to believe I regret it every time I see him. Do you still love him?”

“I don’t think it makes any difference now. There’s no chance of us being together again.”

“I’m not going to tell you to get back together with him. But I just wanted to clear that up, so you’d see the real Dom and not the picture of him that I painted for you, because it wasn’t real.”

“This is a lot of information to digest.” But now it was too late. Dominic was finished with her. “Rosalie, why are you telling me this now?”

“I saw my brother tonight. He looks great, except that sparkle of life that was always in his eyes when he was with you is gone. His smile is still wonderful, but flat. He’s missing part of himself, and I believe that part is you. Remember, I’m not trying to be a matchmaker. I just want him to be happy.”

That’s all Hailee ever wanted too, for Dominic to be happy. Now neither of them was.

Dominic

“So, did you get to talk to her?” Kris asked, as Dom prepared for morning skate. Dom downed an energy shot, hoping to feel better. His head was pounding from the lack of sleep the night before.

“Dude, do you ever learn?” Kaden punched him in the arm harder than necessary.

“What the hell, dude?” He was not in the mood for this. His interaction with Hailee had him tossing and turning all night long. The alcohol he drank didn’t help much either. “Yeah, I talked to her. I told her I’m done with the games.”

“So, it’s over? No more lunches or nights at The Cat House?” Patrick chimed in.

“Am I really everyone’s entertainment for the morning? We do have practice to get ready for, you know.” His voice was harsh as he snapped at the guys. “Look, I can’t keep doing this. I’m not going to follow her around like a long lost puppy dog. She left for whatever reason that handful of years ago, and she meant for it to stay that way. Hooking up at the wedding was a mistake.”

He didn’t really feel that way; seeing her again was what he needed. The way she left was the mistake. The heartache he felt all over again was the mistake. Maybe it all was a mistake. But he wasn’t a wuss and wasn’t going to start acting like it now.

Pat frowned at him. “So, what? You never found out why she left?”

Dom rolled his eyes. “Actually, I did. She left because she didn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.”

“Huh?”

“My family is very traditional in their gender roles. My sisters got in her ear about what would be expected of a Mrs. Zanetti.”

“Dude,” Kaden said, looking around at the guys. “He’s not joking. His dad is all like, ‘Cooking is women’s work. Whiskey drinking is men’s work.’ I could dig it.”

“You should tell that idea to Paige, Ty,” Pat said with a smirk.

“Yeah, and get myself moved straight into the spare bedroom.” Tyler walked into the conversation. “So you two did hook up at the wedding?”

“I’m only going to say this one more time. We hooked up. It was fucking amazing. But it’s over. It wasn’t anything more than one night.”

“Do you want it to be more than one night?” Tyler asked. “Because I have to tell you, if you need advice on how to win her over, I have some killer wooing skills.”

“Er, you only got Paige because of the wooing techniques I suggested,” Kris said.

“You? Bullshit, cuz,” Pat said, shoving Kris away. “It was all me.”

“You’re both wrong, ladies,” Tyler said with a smile. “It was all me.” He indicated his crotch area. “Well, me and little me. If you know what I mean.” He winked at them.

“Dude. That’s not something I needed to think about,” Kaden said, turning away to finish getting ready.

“Little is probably the key word right there,” Pat said, laughing.

Dom pulled on his gear and grabbed his stick and helmet. “And now I need to get back to the real world. So you ready to get out there?”

“Sure,” Kaden answered. “Play you for lunch today?”

“You’re on. Just not at The Cat House.”

“Men! Get a move on it!” Sal called from the office. It was time for practice.

Hopping onto the ice, Dom took a long breath and looked around.
This is what matters right now. Nothing else
. Breathing in the cold air, he cleared his mind. He wanted the Cup and nothing else. The game needed to be all he slept, ate and breathed.
This starts now
.

Coach ran them hard on drills. They had won in Toronto and tonight started the playoffs against New York. Extra laps, extra suicide drills, extra shooting exercises. Dom ducked away from pucks flying at his head, deflecting them and catching others. Tyler and Kris were able to each slide in a few on him.

“Dom! You’ve got to find a way to close that five-hole. I know it’s Tyler Kidd shooting at you, but you can’t let anybody else get one through.”

Dom stretched a little further and worked on stacking the pads to close that gap under his legs. He stretched out, needing to be nimble enough to reach from post to post. He had the height. He could do this.

“That’s it Dom! That’s what I want to see out there. Let’s sweep New York in four games.”

After a few more drills, Coach Walker blew the whistle, signaling the end of practice.

“Lunch?” Kaden caught Dom before he exited the ice. “I was thinking that little sandwich shack down on Fifth Ave?”

“Did someone say lunch?” Tyler followed them into the locker room.

“Yeah, but don’t you have a new wife to get home to?” Kaden asked.

“Not today. She’s going shopping with Rylee, then having lunch. So, where are we going?” Tyler invited himself. “Kris, you in for lunch?”

This simple lunch has turned into a team event, what the hell
?

“Sure, where are we going?” Kris asked, as he tossed his equipment into his locker.

“The Sandwich Shack on Fifth,” Kaden said, as he grabbed his towel and headed to the showers.

* * *

Lunch ended up being Dom, Kaden, Tyler, Kris, and Patrick. They sat away from the windows and back in a corner, but it never failed. The bunnies found them. Dom had just finished his chicken when the first one came up to them.

“Excuse me, you’re Dominic Zanetti, right?” She was tall, bleach blond, and her tits were falling out of her shirt. She looked around the table, and by her smile, he knew she’d confirmed her suspicions. Turning around, she called to her friends. “It’s them!”

“Shit,” Dom mumbled.

Tyler rolled his eyes so the girls didn’t see it and put on his social smile as the girls approached their table. “Ladies.”

“Tyler Kidd!” One squealed and hopped up and down.

“Ladies, myself, Kris and Pat are actually on our way out, but would be happy to sign an autograph before we leave. As you know,”—they only looked like they knew the players, not much about the game—“we have a big game tonight and need to get home and get ready.”

“Well, okay, I guess.” She looked disappointed but pulled out something from her purse and a marker. These girls were obviously ready for any interaction with them.

They signed a few things before leaving Kaden and Dom on their own. “Yeah, thanks Ty.” Dom waved as the blonde slid into an empty chair and moved closer to him. Her perfume was overpowering.

When he looked back at her she had her phone poised for a selfie and snapped the photo as soon as he looked over her shoulder.
Great, ’cause what I need now is a photo of me and some bunny out there
.

A redhead was getting friendly with Kaden. Dom heard her asking Kaden where he was from, and if he had a girlfriend, and then with a giggle, she whispered something in his ear.

“So,”—the blonde laid her hand on his thigh, running it up and down his leg—“I’m Kandi, with a K.”

“Nice to meet you, Kandi.” He looked over at Kaden for some help, but his friend was eating up whatever the redhead was saying. Either that or she was falling for all of his lines. Looked like they were having company after the game tonight.

Kandi leaned in close and whispered in his ear. She must’ve had lipgloss that was flavored like vanilla, because she smelled artificially sweet. “I’ve been told I taste as sweet as my name. Maybe I can come by after the game, and you can take a taste and tell me what you think?”

Every bone in his body said to say no. Well, all except one. He had to put all of his focus into the game; it was the playoffs. And they played back-to-back tonight and tomorrow.
But maybe I could
…

Kaden winked at him, and mouthed “Go for it.”

But he didn’t want just a bunny anymore. It wasn’t him. The only girl that crossed his thoughts was Hailee, as pathetic as that sounded. A bunny wasn’t the answer.

Kandi whispered in his ear. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

“I’m sorry, Kandi. I’ve got a big game tonight. Maybe some other time.”
Or not
. If there was any chance Hailee wanted to be with him, he wasn’t going to ruin it by being with a bunny.

“Are you crazy, man?” Kaden called after him, as he left the Sandwich Shack. “You have to move on. A bunny isn’t a bad place to start.”

Yeah, he was crazy. That was the only explanation. Dom went directly back to the loft for his before game nap. He was starting tonight and had no plans of not being on his game.

* * *

The Renegades beat New York in game one of the first series. Dom played goal the entire game, almost shutting them out. They got one shot on him that he couldn’t stop.
That damn five-hole
. They won, but he was still mad at himself for allowing that one goal.
We could’ve had a shutout
.

They flew to New York right after the game, and the whole time he went over and over in his head how he could’ve stopped that shot. He was tired, and still feeling dehydrated from the game.

By the time they got to the hotel it was after midnight. He drew the lucky straw and got the single room. After a hot shower and another bottle of water, he finally stopped worrying about how he could’ve stopped that shot.

Dom checked his cell phone. There was a message from his sister, Rosa.
She must’ve called while I was in the shower
. She wanted him to call back as soon as he got her message, but it was late. He texted her to see if she was still awake.

His phone rang as soon as he sent the text.

“Dom, I need to talk to you.”

“Rosa, is everything okay? The kids okay?” She didn’t sound frantic, but she didn’t sound okay either.

“Yes. Well, maybe. Everyone is fine, nothing like that.”

“So, what’s the big emergency then?”

“I called Hailee.”

Why is she calling me after midnight to tell me she talked to Hailee
? “Okay.”

“Dom, after we talked I felt really bad. I wanted to set the record straight with her.”

“Wait, what?” He was tired and she wasn’t making sense to him.

“I felt terrible that I scared her off years ago. She needed to know why we said the things we did to her that day. I don’t really know how she took it, but I think she was okay. Dom, if you really wanted to get her back, now might be the time.”

He did want her back, but he’d told her he wouldn’t chase her. He’d ended things and she hadn’t stopped him walking out. If she wanted him, that had to be her choice, her move. Right? Or had he made a mistake? Given up too easily?

No longer worried about how he let a puck slip in the five-hole, he now lay awake thinking about Hailee. Thoughts swirled around his head as he stared up at the plain ceiling. Why would she think he would force her to sit at home and tend to her husband? Did he really come off as that kind of man? Did she really think he wouldn’t support her dreams?

If she had just asked to borrow the money for the gallery, he would’ve been happy to help. But she was always too damn independent to accept help.

Now the question is how do I help someone who refuses to accept it?

Maybe there was one person who could help him figure that out. He picked up his cell phone and texted Kaden.

Dom
: You still awake?

Kaden
: Yep. What’s up?

Dom
: I need a favor. Do you have that girl Alison’s phone number?

Kaden
: Hailee’s friend? Sure I do. What’s going on in that brain of yours?

Dom
: Nothing bad. I need some advice about all this shit with Hailee.

Kaden
: Ok, I’ll send it to you. Good luck.

He sat and stared at his screen with Alison’s number on it. He was out of his mind to be doing this now. But if he didn’t, there was definitely no sleep in his future.

Dom
: Alison, this is Hailee’s friend Dom. I need some advice. Are you awake?

After a few minutes a response filled the screen.

Alison
: Hey Dom. Yep, I am now.

Before he could finish typing a message, his phone buzzed with a call. Alison’s name flashed across his screen. He picked up the call but she didn’t let him say anything before she spoke.

“Hailee’s
friend
? Who even refers to themselves like that anymore? My Dad introduced my first boyfriend to my grandma as my
friend
.”

Alison sure wasn’t shy. “What would you like me to call myself? I don’t even know, after what I said to her.”

“You mean breaking it off?”

“Yes.”

“Dom, it’s late. I don’t want to be rude, but why are you calling? And I hope you aren’t looking for a date, because I don’t go out with my best friend’s exes.”

The sound of
exes
made him cringe. “I never intended to let her go.” Why did he say that? It sounded so girly.