Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3) (13 page)

“Do you want to know what I said?” She asked and sat on the edge of the bed, just out of reach.

“Mm-hm,” I answered and then slowly breathed out the breath I was holding as she nestled herself back against me.

“I said we’re tired. Not I’m.
We’re,
” she said in irritation with herself while inspecting and tracing the creases in the palm of my hand that she’d started playing with.

“He won’t put it together…not from that,” I told her.
But
, eventually, he will.
 

“I know, bu—”

“Jillian, stop. There’re three other people who live in this house.”

She didn’t rebuke me for interrupting her, which is sort of a pet peeve of hers, but instead, she handed me her phone as she blew out a breath that sounded just as worn out as she is and then she said, “I know you’re always here even when you’re not, but, I’m glad you’re here.”

“An hour before sunrise?” I asked and opened up the alarm clock application on her phone.

“Do yours too. Mine should still be set from the last time…just make sure it’s turned on and the volume’s turned all the way up,” she replied through a small yawn and pushed herself up in order to reach over me to the nightstand so she could turn the lights out with the remote, but at the same time she reached out; her hair fell around us like an opulent veil, shrouding me in the softest silk imaginable. I couldn’t help myself; I automatically ran the fingers of one hand through the entire length of the gilded strands while I used the other hand to chuck her phone at the light switch on the wall, hitting it so precisely that it plunged her room and us into complete and utter darkness.

Yeah, I really like her hair…

Breaking the news ~ Tristan

“I know, I know…Daddy missed you too…” I told my girls when I got them home and they were molesting me for attention.

They were both all over me, but Phineas kept frantically wrapping herself around my arms and shoving herself under my hands so that I couldn’t avoid petting her even
if
I would’ve wanted to. And Ferb? Well, she was being Ferb. She’s a hair and face sniffer. She was standing with her back legs on my chest with one of her front paws on my nose and the other over one of my eyebrows, which made it impossible to keep that eye open, and she had her nose glued to the side of my head. Her process was to sniff and then she’d pull back and give me a look like she could have been asking, “And where the fuck have
you
been, Dad?” Then she’d climb onto my shoulder, meow her sentiments of being neglected into my ear, and then she’d go back to inspecting me with her nose.

I know it’s a little weird for a guy to be attached to animals like this but, I can’t help it. For whatever reason, I’ve always loved animals and these two…well, they’re not normal cats for one thing, I mean they their faithfulness reminds me more of how dogs are, but they’re unusually intuitive too. When Camie and I spent that week apart after we adopted them, I swear to God they
knew
something was up and they acted out because they missed her. Also, Ferb always seems to pick
the
best times to fuck with Jeff…I can’t even begin to say how much I love
that
. It’s kind of like she doesn’t like him, or anyone really, screwing with her family. She reminds me, sadly, of Jillian.

But the main reason I love the little furballs as much as I do? Camie. Plain and simple. I love how she talks to them, plays with them, coddles them…everything. And, this is the big one, they’re
ours
. Not mine, not hers, but ours. And they know it too. Jillian wasn’t kidding about how they get when they’re off their schedule. They’re like kids; they’re comforted by routine and when something happens to jack that routine up, they let everyone know they don’t appreciate it. They’ve never howled before but they’ve done other stuff that’s just as annoying. Like biting Camie incessantly if they don’t get fed when they’re used to and literally sleeping on my head when I made the mistake of washing Camie’s shirt I put their bed in. They did that for two whole nights before I figured it out and begged her for another shirt, but when they refused that one, she had to sleep in the black one and then give it back…only then would they consent to getting the fuck off of my head at night.

And if I’m honest, I really do think of them as my children. Even though I really, really do love kids, I won’t be having any and since these two are the closest I’ll get to being an actual parent of, I try to be a good dad.

“I know, girls…I’m so sorry that I’ve been gone…did you think Daddy forgot about his girls?
Aww
, Daddy would never forget you two…” I told them as they both bumped their heads on my face and continued to paw at me.

Now for the bad news…

“Come here, girls,” I told them and got up off the floor to get some treats and the catnip. I’m hoping it’ll help me break it to them. You know, maybe they won’t be as upset if they have something to munch on and play with. “Now I know you two have probably figured out that Mommy and Daddy are having some problems with each other right now,” I said and gave them each two treats, “And Daddy doesn’t know how to fix those problems yet,” I paused and gave them more treats, “So you girls might have to learn to live with only seeing one of us at a time for a while,” More treats… “But I promise everything will be okay. Mommy and Daddy still love you and everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, alright?” I asked and then figured what the fuck, let ‘em have the whole goddamned can of treats. They just found out their parents might be getting a divorce for the second time in their short furry lives, so really, they deserve a little excess.

I dumped the can of treats on my bed and then I started to build them a new catnip sock while they gorged themselves on junk food as a means of coping with their domestic troubles. I just wish I felt that sure about everything turning out the way it’s supposed to. I’d hate to have just lied to my children, even if they are just cats.

They finished scarfing down the entire can of treats in record time and then padded over to investigate what I was working on. “I know…Daddy’s making you a new one…I know it’s not the same but it’ll smell like the old one in no time, I promise…besides, you wouldn’t like the old one anymore anyway…remember what Mommy did to it? It was icky, huh? I know…you were concerned and just trying to be helpful, and I promise, Mommy didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…she was
very
sick that night…she was so sick, girls, she doesn’t even remember that Daddy was there taking care of her…she doesn’t remember me holding her hair for her, or rubbing her back, or keeping her cool with the wet washcloth, or even that I put clothes on her…she doesn’t even remember that Daddy carried her back to bed and stayed awake all night to make sure she was gonna be okay…so that also means she doesn’t remember that she threw up that yucky fur ball on your sock when you two sweethearts brought it to her, but you know what?
I
remember and I was very proud of you, and if Mommy knew what you did, I bet she’d give you French fries…”

Huh.

“Who wants McDonald’s?”

10.

Wednesday, Week Two

Thought filtration; we all do it ~ Pete

“Hey man, you seen Jillian today?” Tristan asked me through a yawn midway through the break Wednesday morning.

“Uhh,” Oh shit. “Yeah, earlier,” Are you asking specifically? Because
technically
I was with her when yesterday became today but at the time, I probably looked like Linus as I was using her hair like a security blanket while we were asleep, and no, I wasn’t sucking my thumb…I stopped doing that when I was four. Okay, so I was five, but still. So it had to have been roughly 5:00 in the morning when I actually
saw
her today. “Why?”

“I need to give her something for Camie,” he answered through another yawn.

“Dude, you look like a zombie…and you, ah, have a couple crease marks on the side of your face…” Actually, he looks kind of wasted.

“I crashed on the couch in Shop…I just woke up,” he explained and rubbed his eyes like he was trying to convince
them
of that.

“Why?”
I asked. If you saw it, you’d understand. That couch is nasty. It’s practically disintegrating and I don’t think it was
ever
new, plus, it’s not even comfortable. Maybe it was in 1974, but the once orange plaid upholstery on it is that god-awful raised burlap stuff and the springs in it are poking through. Not to mention that it smells and I think a momma raccoon had her babies on it a couple years ago…

“
Why?
Well, let’s see…oh yeah, I spent more than four hours with Camie’s dad yesterday, all the while trying to keep
the
biggest fuckin’ hard-on for his daughter I’ve ever had in my entire goddamned life at bay! Also, I’m not sure if it was done on fuckin’ purpose or not, but someone, and I’ll fuckin’ kill her if it was Camie because she fuckin’
knows
, but someone fuckin’
washed
the goddamned shirt the cats sleep on! And if
that
wasn’t fuckin’ enough, it’s always been goddamned near impossible for me to sleep without her as it is! So all that fuckin’ equals a really goddamned fuckin’ long night for me!” He stormed at me.

“Jesus, sorry I asked…” And I really am. I mean I understand being short tempered when you’re tired, but after last night, I feel pretty good so it’s kind of hard for me to empathize right now. Besides, unless he’s been having himself some kind of all night sex marathon, because then he’s chipper as all get out, Tristan’s
always
been a cranky asshole when he doesn’t get enough sleep or if he gets woken up from a nap, but not to this extreme so I think I’d just be better off not getting in the way today.

“Sorry, man, I’m just…fuck, don’t listen to me, my brain isn’t the nicest place to be lately and apparently my mouth isn’t filtering very well today. I’m just tired and the girls aren’t gonna let me sleep until they get their shirt back the way they want it so, here…give this to the first Ramsey girl you see and if it happens to be Camie, tell her I—”

“Tell me what?” Camie asked and scared the shit out of him. I’d been trying to tell him with my eyes that she was walking this way, but he was in the middle of another yawn so he missed it.

I don’t know if it was just because he’s so cranky and tired, or because he thought she might’ve washed the shirt to be a bitch, or, if it was because she almost heard him say he loves her, which I’m ninety-five percent sure that’s what his unfiltered mouth was about to blurt out, but he snapped at her like an angry crocodile when he said, “Go to McDonald’s this week and pick up a Happy Meal…the girls love the new toy. And just so you know, Phineas likes mustard on her cheeseburger, Ferb prefers chicken nuggets, they both take ranch with their fries, and contrary to what you might think, they both prefer strawberry shakes over chocolate or vanilla…oh, here, you know the drill,” Then he took the bag out my hands, shoved it at her, and then turned around and started to stalk away. “I want that back soon!” He called over his shoulder as he made his way in the direction of the back parking lot and I’d put an assload of cash on that being where he’s planning on taking another nap.

She opened the bag in her hands, took one brief look and then screwed up her face in a kind of wince, putting together his yawning and short temper quickly.

“I didn’t do it!” She yelled at his back like a guilty child.

His response was to holler over his shoulder, “SOON!”

“He fed the cats
McDonald’s
? What’s that about?” Camie asked as she watched him go. And also, very obviously knowing the drill, she took a black shirt out of the bag and started rubbing it on her neck.

“Not a clue.” What I’d like to know is why
you
came over here.

She wasn’t even looking in our direction in the beginning and it appeared like she was just gonna walk by on her way to class, but then she looked up and saw him yawn and scratch at his hair, still trying to wake up, and I swear, it was like her feet just carried her here without her knowledge. It was very interesting and I’d love to know what was going through her head at that moment but instead of asking, I just walked away and left her staring at Tristan’s back.

I Almost Got It ~ Jeff

“So now we know for sure there’s something going on that we don’t know about,” Katy said Wednesday afternoon after school when we were talking.

She bailed on cheer practice today to make up for last night so even though we’ll only have a couple hours to ourselves, I’m planning on taking full advantage of every minute and right now, she wants to talk, so right now…I’m giving her what she wants. I’m gonna think of it as foreplay. Besides, we didn’t have the opportunity to really discuss my conversation with Camie’s sister yesterday and after watching both Camie and Tristan, who was biting people’s heads off left and right this afternoon, which I’ll admit I found hi-larious…the smart people avoided him, but the others…well, they never stood a chance, but anyway, after watching the two of them today, I kinda wanted to talk to Katy and hear her take on things.

“Yeah, I think we can safely say we don’t know the whole story.”

“Why would Camie not tell us everything though? I mean, it just doesn’t make any sense and—”

“Think about it, Katy…I don’t think
she’s
keeping
anything
from us. I’m getting the feeling that Camie doesn’t know the story either, which still doesn’t make sense!” Honestly, I just don’t get it, but I know there’s more to what we’ve been lead to believe happened or
is
happening.

“Alright, I can maybe see that and yeah, it totally doesn’t make any sense especially if you take into account that Jillian obviously knows what’s going on and I’m guessing Pete does too, otherwise, why would he just blindly go along?”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t,” I know I said Pete would pussy out and be neutral or side with Tristan just because he needs him to catch, but the thing is…he wouldn’t. Pete would have no problem defending an injustice even if it personally caused him problems, so if he believed Tristan to be unjust in what he did, Pete would definitely say so. He might even go so far as to physically point it out… “Oh shit, Katy…Pete told me he couldn’t understand how I could
not
be friends with Tristan anymore…”