“You lowlife piece of crap!” she yelled. “I knew the last time I shouldn’t have taken your sorry butt back. I hate you. You make me puke! You think you so fine. You a sorry dog, that’s what you are. I should have never come back. I threw my dang pills away to make sure I didn’t come back, but no, I listened to Raquie and Zach and Eli. ‘Give him another chance. He’s gonna make it up to you.’ Bump you! I should slice you up and give each of your women a piece of you!”
Zakia stayed focused until graduation. Zach talked to Malik and advised him to stay away from her and to face the fact that it was over. There was no more coming back. Malik knew it was over for good this time. Zakia would be ready to move on after she graduated, so he reluctantly let go.
After graduation, Zakia had several job offers in Baltimore, where she planned to stay. Although she had been nauseous, she had put off taking a pregnancy test. Now that she had her bachelor’s degree in marketing, she had to know for sure if she was pregnant, since she would not try to raise a child alone in a city that was not her home. As strong as she was, she couldn’t face pregnancy without her family in Richmond. She was ready to start her career, but the results of the pregnancy test were positive. She had to put her career on hold and move back to Richmond. She hated Malik with every fiber of her being, blaming him for this major setback in her life.
C
ontrary to popular belief, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. Hate is love that has been hurt. Hate cares. Indifference does not care.
Zakia hated Malik. However, after seeing Micah with his son, Jaron, she couldn’t fathom the concept of abortion for herself. She loved life too much and couldn’t bring herself to deprive an innocent child of his. The child she was carrying was innocent. She was the guilty one, and so was Malik. If they had to suffer the consequences of their actions, then so be it, but her child would not suffer. She wanted nothing to do with Malik, not even for her child’s sake, and believed that she could give the baby enough love to make up for his not having a father.
Zakia could not stand to disappoint her mother. Alexis was truly devastated that her daughter had gotten pregnant before she could get herself established and instead had to come back home. She had gotten used to living alone. Zachary was working and out on his own. She didn’t hide her disappointment well, and Zakia vowed to be out of her mother’s house the first chance she got. Even though she received all the love and support she could ever need from her family and from the Execs as well, she felt like a failure.
Ignoring Zakia’s request not to do so, Alexis called Malik to let him know that he was going to be a father. She believed a man was supposed to take care of his children. When Malik found out, he drove down to Richmond, and when Zakia opened the door, he handed her a dozen red roses. She knocked the roses out of his hand, sending the vase, water, and flowers all over the porch. She spit in his face, then slammed the door.
He will never lay eyes on this baby,
she vowed.
Malik begged, pleaded, and cried and had everybody in the village talk to Zakia. She was becoming indifferent toward Malik. Slowly, her family and friends realized that she said what she meant and she meant what she said. Malik did not exist. She threatened that she wouldn’t speak to whoever let him know anything about her and her baby. They believed her, and nobody told Malik when his beautiful son, Ezekiel, who was the spitting image of him, was born. Whenever he called, he was advised to let it go. Over time he did just that.
Zakia was on a mission. She had been sidetracked, delayed for a bit, but she was back and with a beautiful healthy baby boy for whom to provide. Ezekiel was her pride and joy. He was a curse-turned-blessing because the baby was truly an angel from heaven. With a vengeance, Zakia picked up right where she had left off when she found out she was pregnant.
Her excess weight fell off quickly, and she was back in the interview suits she had bought before the pregnancy. She aggressively pursued positions that had potential for advancement, impressing interviewers with her intelligence and energy. She had many offers. Finally, she chose a position with a local advertising agency that did a large percentage of the print ad work in not just the city but the state. She loved her job at Ascension Advertising. She worked long hours, going above and beyond the call of duty on all of her assignments.
The villagers were very helpful with baby Zeke. There was never a shortage of babysitters. Raquie was now at Manna State University, equipped with knowledge and wisdom, and determined to be at the top of the class of 1988. When she was home, she never said no when Zakia needed her. As Zeke grew older and started walking, he and his Uncle Zach became inseparable.
Zakia got three promotions in four years for landing some of the toughest accounts in the state. She was creative, diligent, and committed to client satisfaction. Indeed, she was a workaholic. However, she was also a good and devoted mother. She spent quality time with Zeke, and he was thriving as he developed into a wonderful little boy.
One night Zakia and Eboni decided to go out. Club Ritz was on the outskirts of Richmond, in the swanky part of town. The patrons were upper-middle-class buppies. The men were suave, and they were generous. They reminded Zakia of mature Manna men. She had been there, done that, and decided to just enjoy the evening and go home. Several men brought her virgin drinks and danced with her all night. She had maintained her vow of being drug- and alcohol-free since the incident during her freshman year of college. Zakia and Eboni had fun and enjoyed the attention so much that they planned to go again the following Friday.
When Eboni went to the ladies’ room the following week, a man slid into her seat across from Zakia and looked deeply into her eyes.
“That seat is taken,” Zakia said before he could introduce himself.
“I know. I’ll return it when it’s time. I just wanted to tell you that you appear to be a very classy lady, and I was wondering if you were attached,” he said, getting right to the point.
“No, I’m not.”
“Good, neither am I. Are you from around here?”
“Yes,” she answered, wondering why she felt compelled to respond to this complete stranger’s questions.
“What high school did you attend?” he asked
“Booker T,” she said.
“I graduated from your archrival, Dunbar,” he said.
She dared not ask him if he knew Xavier. “Did you play any sports?” she asked instead.
“Not really, more of a bookworm.”
“Oh, I thought I might have seen you at a game,” she said, playing off her curiosity.
“Wait a minute. You were a cheerleader, right?”
“How did you know that?”
“I had a hobby of always picking out the prettiest cheerleaders. I thought when I first saw you last week that you looked vaguely familiar. I couldn’t remember where I had seen you before. I’ve been thinking about you all week. And just when you mentioned sports, it came to me where I had seen you. You haven’t changed a bit, still pretty as ever.”
“You saw me here last week?” she asked, flattered.
“Yes, I did.”
She thought it best not to ask why he didn’t speak to her then. Eboni was coming.
“Hello, I’m Eboni,” she said, introducing herself to him while extending her hand for him to shake.
“Hello, Eboni,” he said, shaking her hand as he got up.
“Oh, and I’m Zakia Wilkes,” Zakia said, extending her hand.
“Jay Carter. It’s been a pleasure,” he said as he gently kissed the back of her hand, sending tingles through her body. He handed her one of his business cards. “Give me a call. Maybe we can do lunch.”
She took the card and read it:
Jay Carter, Chief Financial Officer, NuTech Computers
. He worked for one of her firm’s clients.
A
ll day Saturday Zakia thought about how Mr. Jay Carter had charmed her. Eboni called Saturday night to give her some advice.
“You call that man first thing Monday, girl,” Eboni said.
“And look desperate?”
“No. Interested, not desperate. Just call him. Use reverse psychology. He won’t be expecting you to call Monday because you won’t want to seem desperate, but when you call all bold and confident, not desperate, he won’t know what to think.”
Zakia was holding her head, shaking it with her eyes closed, listening to Eboni explain her theory.
“Eli’s the philosopher and you’re the psychologist. Why aren’t you two married?” Zakia asked. Eli and Eboni lived together and had a six-year-old daughter named Essence.
“Just call him Monday.”
By the time she got to work on Monday, Zakia still didn’t know if she was ready for dating. Should she wait or call him? How did it work nowadays? She called.
“Hello, Jay Carter’s office,” said a pleasant female voice.
“This is Zakia Wilkes. Is Mr. Carter available?”
“One moment, please.”
After a few seconds, she heard a very enthusiastic “Well, good morning, Ms. Wilkes.”
“Good morning, Mr. Carter. How are you?” she responded with just as much enthusiasm.
“Just wonderful all of a sudden. How are you?”
“Fine, thank you. Did you have a good weekend?” Zakia asked.
“Actually, I worked in the yard, since the weather was nice. I was thinking about our conversation the whole time. I really enjoyed talking to you.”
“Yes, it was nice.”
After a brief pause, Jay said, “Do you have a busy day today?”
“Not particularly.”
“Are you available for lunch?”
“I have no plans.”
“Where are you located?”
“In the King Tower.”
“Right up the street. How convenient. Would you like to meet me at the restaurant next door to your building?” Jay asked.
“Sure. What time?”
“What’s good for you?”
“How about high noon?”
“See you then.”
Zakia felt a rush she hadn’t felt in a very long time, and panic began to set in.
Am I ready for this? I got my peace back. I work like a dog, but my peace is worth it. Ezekiel is four years old, surrounded and smothered in love, Malik is history, and I have family and friends who love and support me and I them. Why complicate things? I can always find an escort for my corporate functions whenever I need one. I finally got my life back on track with nothing missing and nothing broken. Sex really is overrated. I would much rather have my peace.
She called Jay back and was put through.
“Hello, Jay. I’m sorry. I don’t think it will be a good idea to meet for lunch.”
“Why not?” Jay asked.
“I just don’t,” she said in an unsure, I-do-want-to-but-I’m-afraid-to tone.
“You need to eat, right?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, that is all I am proposing, Zakia, that you eat.”
What harm can one lunch do?
she thought. “Okay, Jay.”
“So I’ll see you at noon?” he said.
“Okay.”
Jay and Zakia had an immediate connection that was confirmed during their lunch conversation. Their backgrounds were different, but they had a lot in common.
“I’m looking forward to meeting Zeke,” Jay said.
“He’s great,” Zakia said with all the pride and love a mother could unleash in those two words.
“I’m sure he is. Look at his mother,” Jay said.
For the next two weeks, they met every day for lunch.
“I would love for you and Zeke to come with me to my parents’ for a cookout this weekend,” Jay said during one of their lunch dates.
“Sounds great,” Zakia agreed.
Jay’s relatives were the warmest, nicest, most loving people Zakia had ever met. They made her and her son feel like a part of the family. When she brought Jay home to meet her own family, Alexis took Zakia into the kitchen to speak to her in private.
“Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout,” her mother said.
Jay and Zakia spent a lot of time together. The communication was stimulating. They talked about back in the day, their careers, and the future. They grew and learned from and with each other. Soon they were spending all of their time together. They flew to New York for a weekend to shop and take in dinner and a play. This felt comfortable to Zakia, and finally, the wall she had built around her heart began to break down.
Jay and Zakia had been dating for seven months. Within the last two, Jay had begun to drop marriage crumbs to see if Zakia would bite. She noticed the hints and completely disregarded them. Even though she was very much in love with him, the wall around her heart wasn’t completely down yet. She had borrowed Eli’s “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” motto. But as she and Jay grew closer, and with everything going so well in her life, the time eventually came when Zakia found herself entertaining thoughts of marriage. She decided to bite the next time Jay threw out a crumb.
One day while Jay was helping her to prepare dinner, he said, “We’re not getting any younger. Do you have anything you want to accomplish before you hit thirty?”
There’s that crumb I’ve been waiting for,
she thought. “Sure. I just recently realized that in spite of my upbringing and all I’ve been through with Zeke’s dad and making my way in the world, that success is sweeter when you have someone to share it with,” she said, borrowing from Billy Dee Williams in
Mahogany
.
“That is so true, baby. And when you can find someone you are compatible with, someone who understands and appreciates you, whose goals coincide with yours, someone you love and trust, you would be crazy not to do whatever it took to hold on to that person,” Jay said, echoing her sentiments.
“I agree.”
Jay was a man who was always prepared. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a three-carat diamond solitaire ring. He got down on one knee and took her hand. As he slid the ring on her finger, he said, “Zakia, will you marry me?”
Zakia was not breathing as all this took place. Jay had managed to surprise her. She didn’t expect to get an actual proposal that day, just to start talking about marriage. It was the beginning of a new decade, the nineties, and time to move on, time for a new life. She looked at the ring, then at Jay, and said yes.