“I do know that the devil is busy and that too much of a good thing can be just as devastating as too much of a bad thing,” Alexis said.
“See, Ma, that’s what I’m trying to do. Take the common sense you’ve given me, add some Bible sense, and make some sense out of my life.”
Her mother believed her and gave her an encouraging hug.
“Pack it up, boys. Let’s go home. I miss my men. I’m one man down, but the two I have left are the best two ever made,” Zakia said exuberantly. She wanted to pull what was left of her family together and establish a firmer foundation on which to continue raising her sons, regardless of the outcome of her marriage. The stalker’s e-mails had also made her want to keep them close, tucked safely under her protective wing.
Zakia was distracted and busy with the boys during the day, but the thoughts about the e-mails continued to haunt her at night. At first, she’d been sure it was one of Malik’s college women, but how could any of them know the name of their son, since she had him after graduation and in another state? She didn’t know what to think. How could she trace an e-mail to its original sender?
Mentioning the stalker’s e-mails to her family, even to Raquie, would make her seem paranoid, but the fact of the matter still remained. This stalker had threatened her child in a horrible way, and it was not in her nature to take something that serious lightly.
Zakia and her sons were inseparable except when the boys were at school or with Jay at his parents’ home. When she didn’t have the boys, she was preoccupied with the stalker’s e-mail. She wanted to find out who knew about her and Malik and especially about Zeke. She contacted a local Internet company that she found in the yellow pages and made arrangements to take the printed e-mails in to have them analyzed.
Upon arrival for her appointment at CySpace Masters, the receptionist had her wait while she called for one of the consultants to come assist her. Zakia was seated in the lobby when the elevator doors opened, and she looked up when she heard, “Ms. Carter?”
She was stunned to see her old high school sweetheart. “Xavier Slade,” she said. “I heard that you were in California. What in the world are you doing here?”
“Zakia Wilkes. Oh, excuse me. Zakia Carter now. Look at you,” he said, taking all of her in at a glance. “I see life has been good to you.”
“You look good yourself,” she said. “Are you the consultant?”
“At your service.”
She felt sort of relieved thinking that since he wasn’t a total stranger, he would be more sensitive to her dilemma and do a better job of helping her find the culprit.
“Good. I have a serious problem,” she said.
“Well, come on up to my office and tell me all about it.”
She followed him into the elevator. As they ascended, he asked about the Execs. They talked about old times and continued to bring each other up-to-date in his office. Much time passed before she mentioned a word about the e-mails. Zakia felt comfortable enough to let him know that she was separated from her husband, and she noticed his caring concern. That made her even more comfortable about sharing the e-mails.
“Well, the reason why I’m here is to find out about these e-mails,” she said as her stomach growled. “Excuse me. I skipped breakfast.”
“Well, it’s almost noon. Let me treat you, and we can discuss the e-mails over lunch . . . unless you have another commitment,” Xavier said.
“We can do that. I am kind of hungry.”
They went to a cafeteria-style restaurant near Xavier’s office building. Nothing was said in line as they contemplated which items to select. Once they were seated, they had a nice time but still didn’t discuss the e-mails. Zakia felt herself opening up more. She learned that Dana, the girl Xavier cheated with, was now living in California and was married with two more children besides Xavier’s daughter.
“Not that it’s any of your business, Xavier, but my sons have different fathers. I just thought I’d share that to let you know I now understand how what happened in high school between us happened. Life teaches you a few things if you live long enough. No hard feelings,” she said, sticking out her hand for him to shake.
“Wow! You never gave me an opportunity to explain, just wrote me off, then shipped off to college, and that was that. I always wanted to talk to you about it but figured you were gone forever. Now here you are, more than twenty years later and looking the same,” he said.
“Nowhere near the same, but thanks for the compliment.”
They finished lunch and went back to Xavier’s office. Finally, they got to the business at hand. As Zakia explained the whole ordeal, they ruled out any of Jazz Jafari’s fans. Even though they had her e-mail address, there was no connection between Zakia and Jazmania. Xavier kept copies of the printed e-mails and instructed her to forward a few of them to his e-mail address for further analysis. She agreed, and their meeting was over. He walked her all the way to her car.
“I’ll call you as soon as I have an answer,” he said.
“Thanks, Xavier. I really want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible.”
“I understand. Soon, I promise.”
Xavier and Zakia talked on the phone every day, with Xavier assuring her that they were getting close to finding the culprit. Then the conversation would turn personal. He asked to take her out, but she wouldn’t go out with him because she was married and couldn’t date, even though her husband had impregnated some woman from church. Xavier was becoming a great friend to talk to, though, and Zakia was becoming his social dependent. One day he asked her if she had received any more e-mails from the stalker. When she checked, she had several that horrified her with their sordid homosexual details involving her son. She printed them and went straight to Xavier’s office in tears.
She hadn’t been to church in so long that her senses were beginning to dull. Her antennas needed some tuning. Xavier said he had some special equipment at home that might help him to determine the e-mails’ origin and suggested she accompany him so they could get to the bottom of the problem. She rode with him.
In his apartment, she was a nervous wreck.
“Relax, Z. We’ll figure it out. Here, sit down at the computer,” he said, then pulled up a chair and sat beside her.
He started to rub her back, and it felt good to her. She began to relax and closed her eyes. He pulled up even closer, and she smelled his intoxicating cologne. He began to talk in computer language she didn’t understand, and it made her head ache, forcing her to focus on the attraction between them instead.
“See the return path and the user agent identification gives us an indication, but not precisely of the e-mails’ origin,” he said, noticing that she wasn’t paying attention. He began to massage her shoulders.
“Oh, baby, you are so tense,” he said.
Feeling the stress leaving her body at his touch, Zakia closed her eyes and enjoyed the massage. He rubbed her shoulders and neck. He started at the top and went all the way down her back and then up again. It was nothing less than erotic. She was quietly moaning. When he kissed her on the lips, she snapped open her eyes and slapped him as hard as she could.
He jumped up, grabbing at his face.
“I’m sorry, Zakia. I shouldn’t have done that. You are just so beautiful.”
“Take me back to my car.”
Not a word was said all the way back to his office, where he let her out beside her car. She got in and sped off not knowing whom she could trust.
Z
akia went back to Faith in the Word. That was the only place she felt safe anymore. She did not get involved again with any of the ministries. She just sat up under the Word and fed her spirit the wisdom of God as she took inventory of her life.
She no longer allowed fear to drive her to take matters into her own hands as she prayed for resolution to the stalker issue. She would let God handle it. After she let go of the situation, Xavier left a message informing her that he had e-mailed her the stalker information she was seeking. Zakia sent it to Raquie, explaining the whole ordeal for her to investigate further. She was spent and resolved to simply trust God. Her sister promised to use her Internet resources to resolve the matter.
Zakia had been sick every morning for a week and could no longer avoid the inevitable. She scheduled an appointment with her gynecologist to confirm what she had expected for the past few weeks. She was three months pregnant. She knew she was, but with Jay’s infidelity along with everything else that was going on in her life, she chose not to face it until she had to. The time had come. She called Jay at his parents’ home and asked him to come over.
“I’m three months pregnant,” she said.
“What? That’s great!”
“Great for who?”
“For us.”
“What are you talking about? You have two women pregnant at the same time. How can that be great for anybody?”
“That’s what I was going to tell you. Jessica lied. She isn’t pregnant. Never was.”
“Does that change the fact that you slept with her?”
Jay hadn’t even thought of it that way because he was so relieved that Jessica wasn’t pregnant.
“No, but now we have a second chance. We can make it work. Make it better than before.”
“Do you really believe life is that simple, Jay?”
“It can be, Zakia, if we put the effort back into it like we used to.”
“Jay, there is no excuse for what you did to us. I accept responsibility for neglecting my family, but I cannot get over the fact that you showed no remorse about sleeping with someone else. I moved on with my life without you at that point.”
“I was a complete jerk, baby. Totally confused. I know you can forgive me. Look at all that we have, and now we have a baby on the way.”
“You will always be in your children’s lives, but I don’t need you.”
“But, baby . . .”
“Please leave. I’m tired.”
Jay left not knowing what his wife was actually going to do. He would just have to follow her lead.
Zakia woke up refreshed from a good night’s sleep. There wasn’t even any morning sickness. She felt better than she had in a long time. Now that Jay had been told, she would plan her future without him. She got the portfolio and began to analyze her financial status. They were in great financial shape. Even without Jay, she didn’t have to go out and get a job if she opted not to. After working with Raquie on the Jafari proposal, she had found yet another avenue to generate income and still be there for her sons. God was providing.
As Zakia worked her plan, she studied and prayed without ceasing. She grew with God as deeper and deeper revelation came. She was maturing in the things of God, and her life was becoming more balanced. Realizing from her own experiences as a sold-out-for-Jesus Christian that temptation was forever present and anybody could fall—real saved folks as well as unsaved folks—she became more tolerant of others. As a result, her friends came back, spending more and more time with her. Through no effort of her own, the Word of God always seemed to pop up in their conversations. Most of the time it was her friends who brought it up. One day Eli and Eboni stopped by to bring her some Heavenly Hash ice cream.
“Oh, thank you so much. I was craving this stuff so bad,” Zakia said, ripping off the top of the carton and eating right out of the quart container.
“I told you we should have gotten a half gallon, you talking about her weight,” Eli said to Eboni, watching Zakia go for it.
“You were right, baby,” Eboni said. “Oh, guess what, Z?”
“What?” Zakia said with a mouthful of nuts, chocolate chips, marshmallow, and chocolate ice cream.
“Tell her, baby,” Eboni instructed Eli.
“She’s making me legal,” Eli said as Eboni held out her hand to show Zakia her engagement ring.
Zakia stopped eating and started screaming. She put down the ice cream and hugged Eboni, both of them screaming and jumping around.
“I don’t know why you’re making all that fuss. By law, we been married,” Eli said.
“Please come to church with me,” Zakia begged.
“Okay, baby?” Eboni asked Eli.
“Why not? I’m hooked now. Whatever you ladies want,” Eli surrendered.
Zakia and Eboni screamed again.
She was leading them one by one to Christ.
Zakia was rubbing her stomach and folding clothes when Raquie called.
“Sis, did you know Melvin Hickman in college?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Zakia answered. With so much going on in her life, she only recalled recent places, people, and events.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, why? Who is he?”
“He’s the stalker who’s been sending you e-mails.”
“Melvin Hickman,” she said as she tried to recall everyone she had met in her life. “Oh, wait a minute, Melvin Hickman!” she shouted when the revelation hit her.
“So you do know him?” Raquie asked.
“He was Malik’s college roommate.”
“Now, that would be interesting. He’s Jazz Jafari’s manager.”
“What?” Zakia said, stunned.
“Have you gotten any more e-mails?” Raquie asked.
“Girl, I closed the account. The whole thing was threatening my existence. I was worried and paranoid all the time. I couldn’t put all that stress on my unborn child. I gave it to you and God to handle. But it can’t be the same guy.”
“He went to Manna. It’s him. I’m glad you came to me. You can only trust who you can trust.”
“Yeah, I learned that the hard way. When I let God handle it and He told me to give it to you, I’ve had peace ever since.”
“Well, God handled it. It took a while, but we finally came up with Melvin Hickman. He was slick enough not to make it easy by any means, but his patterns led us to him.”
“Has he been confronted?”
“Not yet. I wanted to see if you knew him first to determine if there was a reason for his behavior, or if you were a randomly chosen victim. Do you have any idea why he would be sending you such e-mails?”
“For kicks? I don’t know. Actually, we didn’t have much to say to each other the whole time that we were in college. He seemed to have something against me, but a few people did, so I didn’t pay it any attention. College was totally different from high school for me. Popularity was not important. Getting prepared for the real world was my top priority, so I dismissed Melvin and anybody else who didn’t like me. That was their problem,” Zakia explained.