Authors: Nancy Adams
Chapter Six
The air was stuffy, a huge contrast from the previous night when only smooth music and a low rumble of mixed voices greeted Tina and her friends. It was Sunday, and there were a lot more people than before. She had just been given entrance to the second floor. These people weren’t kids. They were adults looking to meet and connect with other mature adults. That’s why she had purchased a membership to the club—that’s why anyone ever became a member here.
They were tired of the college students and late twenty-somethings running from their responsibilities. Along with the increase in patronages, so too had the volume risen from a conversational rumble to a step below a cafeteria roar.
As she ascended, she could make out a smooth voice over the speaker system. Her heart rate increased.
Is that Brett?
She tried to peer through the many heads and bodies standing on the open floor of the lounge.
She heard pool balls breaking in the distance, empty glasses clanking, women and men laughing. There was too much shifting on the floor for her to see the stage. Some people grooved in their own world on the open floor. Several people lounged at corner tables, playing cards and dominoes.
“Want a drink? On us this time.”
Tina turned to the voice. It wasn’t Brett’s. Behind the bar she met the rusty eyes of the bartender grinning back at her. His smile eased her nerves.
She stammered a yes, and then helped herself to a seat he motioned her too. As she sat, she pulled her purse around to rest on her lap, and took a deep breath. “It’s been a while since I’ve been in a place like this,” she admitted.
The bartender only nodded, preparing for her a lightly mixed drink. “Hopefully this’ll get you to relax,” he laid out a napkin as he sat a tall, skinny glass down with three cubes of ice. “Enjoy. It’s a Jack and coke.” He nodded towards her drink.
Tina smiled, feeling giddy inside. She lifted the glass, pulling the straw towards her. The liquid was both cold and hot. As it made its way down her throat, she felt its warmth smoothing out the flutters within her gut. She smiled, sitting tall with a deep breath. “That’s a great mix. Thanks.”
“No problem,” he gestured towards the stage. “Brett will be on after this set is done. He’s great in the evening. Really sets a good mood.”
Tina nodded, feigning mild interest at the stage. “He sings with just acoustic?”
The bartender nodded. “Mostly. He’s a chill guy,” he paused, then smiled. “I’m Matt, his best friend.”
Allowing a girlish giggle, Tina locked hair behind her ear. “I figured you guys must be close. How long have you known each other.”
“Almost ten years.”
Tina took another sip. “Wow,” she didn’t hide her astonishment, “That’s a long time.”
Matt nodded. “Brett’s a good guy. You’ll like him. I’ll see if he can come over before he hits the stage—”
“Oh no,” Tina shook her head quickly. “I just came because it’s Sunday and I wanted some me time,” she spoke so fast her words flowed together like running water. “He doesn’t need to try and see me, I don’t even know him.”
Matt paused. “Oh, I thought you came to see him.”
Tina flushed, face beginning to burn.
This was a bad idea.
In her hesitation, Matt put up a hand. “Don’t worry, you won’t be bugging him.” He didn’t wait for response.
Get up and leave now. You can always come back Tuesday and play it off.
Tina looked around herself hesitantly. She wanted to follow those thoughts, to simply slip off the chair and excuse herself. She didn’t even have to come back to the club. She never used to before except that one night a year…
“Christina.”
The familiar sound of Brett’s smooth voice sounded behind her. She stiffened, but at the same time, something within her perked. Turning to him quickly, she didn’t bother to hide her smile. “Hey, Brett,” she breathed.
Chapter Seven
Brett beamed back at Tina. He wore a bright blue collared shirt fitted loosely over a pair of jeans. His hair had been styled loosely with gel.
“Couldn’t wait for Tuesday to see me?” His grin sent chills throughout her body. She said nothing at his bold jest. “That’s okay. I was hoping I’d see you tonight, even if for a little bit.”
Tina looked down, unable to keep her smile from growing wider. Chuckling, Brett sat down across from her. He watched her closely, laughing again when she opted to busy herself with her drink instead of facing him again.
“You know,” he eyed her, “you don’t really strike me as the shy type.”
Feeling the warmth spread throughout her body, Tina felt her cheeks flush. She turned to him boldly then, daring to meet his eyes. “I’m generally not. It’s just been awhile since I’ve been out like this and you,” she paused, “and you’re something else.” She quickly turned her attention back to her glass, finishing the contents.
Brett chuckled again, signaling for Matt behind the countertop. “What do you normally do?” He asked after ordering is own mixed drink.
Tina took a deep breath, staring into her empty glass. “Work,” she said softly. She turned to Brett, offering him a weak shrug. “I had a bunch of interests,” she laughed. Brett followed suit, face beaming as he watched her.
“Had?”
“Well,” she shrugged again. “You know. Life happened. Bills. I kept a little for me, my puzzles because they made money, and everything else,” she looked away wistfully, deciding not to say more.
Brett waited a moment, drinking in the silence. “I get it. I’ve been there too. When I was younger I had lots of interests. Only a few were important enough to stay these past ten years.”
Tina smiled kindly. “Yes, you understand then. Was music something that stayed?”
Brett shook his head quickly. “No, I just recently allowed myself that these past couple of years.” He paused, watching her motion for him to continue. “I’m just an owner here, but not one of the original ones. I bought into this place about five years ago.”
“Wow,” Tina nodded. “You know,” she laughed at herself as she tucked hair behind her ears, “I had a membership when they first built this place nine years ago.”
“Really?” Brett leaned towards her. “Tell me about it. What was it like?”
“Well, not as elegant, that’s for sure!” They laughed together. “Back then, it was for college kids. You know, old enough to drink, smoke, and vote. We just wanted a place we could call a club without needing bands to separate us from the underaged.” Brett nodded in agreement.
“I heard about that,” he lifted his glass to his lips. “As the owners changed, so did the focus, right?”
Shrugging, Tina motioned for a refill to Matt. He acknowledged her with a smile. “I dunno. After a couple of years I fell out of the scene and when I got my membership back it had changed a lot.” She stared wistfully into the past. “They had just opened the five star restaurant and put in the second and third floors. Since then, I’ve only come for special occasions.”
“Special occasions?”
“You know anniversaries—”
“For weddings?”
Tina looked sharply at Brett. She noticed her heart beating rapidly within her chest. When she spoke, she stammered. “Well, yeah my folks celebrated their 50
th
anniversary here last March.”
Brett seemed to relax, his eyes sweeping over her upper body briefly. “Why are you coming back now?” His voice was noticeably calmer.
Tina opened her mouth to speak, but no words or sound formed. After a moment, she laughed, shrugging her shoulders again. “I don’t know. My friends invited me out two days ago because I was down and then,” she heaved her shoulders up, sighing as she let them fall down, “I like talking to you.”
Brett smiled. “I’m sorry you were down the other day,” he paused, waiting for her to meet his eyes. “But I glad you were. Then we might not have ever met,” he hesitated, “again.”
They chuckled softly together, holding each other eyes in a steady gaze. “Well, Christina,” he reached out towards her, but stopped short of making physical contact, “let Matt know I’ll pay for your drinks. I’m actually late for the set now so I should get going.” Tina nodded, unable to find words to say in response. “If I don’t see you after my set, can I expect to see you Tuesday?” She nodded.
Wait, what?
“Good. Five o’ clock, remember?” Brett stood then, waving as he left to disappear into the open lounge floor which had even more people on it than when she first arrived.
Chapter Eight
Tina watched him leave, disappointed that he became lost in the crowd so quickly. Then she remembered his question.
What am I getting myself into?
After relaying Brett’s message to Matt, Tina withdrew from the bar. She searched for a small, corner table for two. Most were already taken, but she managed to find a spare seat. She positioned the chair against a beam, able to watch Brett take the stage as soft music played to bridge the gap between the last live set and the beginning of Brett’s.
He sat on a short wooden stool with a single mic in front of him. As the background music died down in the speakers, he began to pluck and strum at the strings on the guitar, pulling out deep rich sounds that seemed to quiet the individuals in the lounge. When he began to sing, his voice fell like a blanket upon the place, dark and smooth. Tina shivered as his voice traveled over her body, leaving chills along her skin.
From where she sat, she had a direct line of sight to the front of the stage, save for a few people passing through every once and a while. For the most part, listeners were either sitting at the tables, or engaging one another at the pool tables and on the open lounge floor.
Even with the low lighting, Tina could see the concentration on Brett’s face and hear the focus in his voice as he played through tunes and songs well-rehearsed and memorized. His voice was solid and mature, worn and well used. He wasn’t a rookie at preforming in front of others. At times the audience clapped, at others times they simply swayed and clapped in rhythm to the beat.
Through his show, Tina sat and watched, drugged by his voice. She watched the muscles twitch and flex on his forearms, visible from the arms of the dress shirt rolled up to his elbow. She made note of the way he struck and strummed at the guitar’s strings with a precision and skill only experience could permit.
His voice seemed to drift into her soul. When he looked up, their eyes seemed to connect. She became rigid, unable to pull away. She couldn’t tell if he could really see her or not, but he didn’t pull away either. He was too far away to see the color in his eyes, but she remembered their dark, hazel beauty.
Tina broke the connection first, glancing away. When she looked back, he still looked in her direction. Looking away a second time, Tina removed herself from the chair. She turned her back to Brett and moved quickly to the spiral staircase. She knew he wouldn’t be able to follow her pass the small ring of tables surrounding the stage, but she refused to stop and look for him again.
“I shouldn’t come back,” she breathed, puffing down the stairs in a hurry. She brushed against people, shaking their drinks and receiving annoyed looks. She offered quick apologies but didn’t stop. She only moved quicker, stopping to breathe once she made it outside.
The warm evening betrayed the time of year it really was, mid-October. The streets had been lined with fading leaves for weeks, but tonight it felt like a warm summer evening.
Tina let out a deep breath, heart racing within her chest. The young girl within her wanted to dance for joy that he had found her in the midst of the lounge; but, the adult could only address reality. She didn’t know why she had come that night.
John had plans with friends. Poker night. They played cards and bet money. Sometimes John won, but most Sunday nights he lost. They hadn’t had a meal together in over a week, let alone a decent conversation. When they talked, it was usually to sum up the past events of several days. Nothing more.
He probably wouldn’t even be home by the time she arrived. He didn’t know what she did or where she went and he didn’t care. For all she knew, he could be lying to her as well; but she knew he wasn’t. He didn’t do much. Still, she felt guilty for having come to entertain her heart with Brett’s eyes, his smile, his attention…
In her car, Tina pulled down her visor to access her mirror. She had managed to put on a little makeup that night. Some concealer and deep red lip gloss. Her lips were still shiny, her eyes still dark and inviting. That wasn’t normal. It was for Brett—and who was he? Some random guy—could be a douche-bag for all she knew. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and his smile, his touch, his chuckle.
Hearing him say her name had sparked her soul. Having him catch her eyes had set her on fire.
No, I can’t come back. This isn’t right.
Chapter Nine
Five o’ clock found Tina sitting inside her car in the parking lot of Club Twenty-One Eleven on Tuesday. She had left work an hour early, too excited to concentrate past three. She had arrived 30 minutes earlier, unsure of how she ended in the parking lot when she originally told herself she was going to drive to the nearest grocery store for juice. Never mind the fact that there was a gas station that sold eight to 12 ounces of juice right outside her neighborhood. She convinced herself she needed more, at least a gallon or more of juice.
Fifteen minutes later, she found herself staring at the brick building. She didn’t have to tell herself she felt guilty. Her palms were sweaty and her heart beat wildly around within her chest. She wasn’t meeting Brett for sex or anything, but just the thought of coming to meet another man other than John was enough to make her feel sick. And yet, here she was.
“I’m a terrible wife,” she muttered beneath her breath. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed and felt like she were worth someone’s attention. The look Brett gave her was enough to cause her heart to melt, and it had. She wanted to see him look at her like that again, and that desire scared her. Was she so starved for attention that a couple of stupid conversations with a good looking man caused her to act this way?
"Apparently," she sighed, shoulders dropping with disappointment. She stared at her visor mirror, longing eyes reflecting in the glass. Beth's words had continued to haunt her from Saturday night.
"You deserve happiness too."
If that were the case, then why did she feel so guilty for pursuing something she clearly wanted? Tina reached for her phone, pressing a button to get the small, rectangular screen to light up. 5:15pm. Would Brett really expect her to be there at five?
It doesn't matter...
With another deep sigh, Tina lifted her hand towards the keys still danging from the ignition. If she didn't leave now, there was no telling what kind of trouble she could find herself in.
No sooner than her car started, she clicked into reverse gear, backing out the parking spot quickly. She didn't want to second guess her actions. If she did, she knew she'd go back. Speeding away from the club, she refused to give it one one last look over. She was going to cancel her membership tomorrow. Her mind had already been made up.
She wasn't sure which hurt more, knowing that she was running away, or knowing that she was running away to nothing better instead. She had no idea what John was doing, but whatever it was, she wasn't invited. Her eyes began to tingle and burn as she fought to keep her tears back.
A lonely, dramatic part of her wanted to drive to the nearest bar and order shots of rum until she couldn't stand. But she had never been much of a drinker. She didn't want to be alone anymore, instead, she opted for the nearest strip mall, complete with a local coffee shop, small dinners, yogurt, ice cream, and gelato stores.
In summertime, the mall was packed with high school and college students mingling with each other, trying to guess one another's age. This time of year, however, there was only college students wanting to do their homework in the autumn breeze while they sipped lattes or yogurt shakes.
Around the mall was a strip of paved path. About this time, exercise groups met and trained for half-marathons, or walked to support one another's weight-loss goals. Although it wouldn't make her forget quite like getting drunk would, she knew it was the only acceptable alternative, other than going home to sit by herself in solitude.
She parked and helped herself to a frothy chocolate frappe. Once her order was made, she took a seat outside. She didn’t feel like the gorgeous autumn evening. The air held a hint of the coming winter in the nip on the edge of the wind that danced with her hair. The sun had yet to dip beneath or behind anything, but played hide and seek behind clouds, thinning trees, and buildings from the strip mall.
Tina looked around at the faces of other coffee shop clients. Many of them sat reading books, for college or for fun with headphones in their ears. They were completely oblivious to anyone else around them, satisfied in their own world. In that moment, she felt a tinge of jealousy. If only she could be that content in her own life.
I used to be, didn’t I? Before John? Before we married, when I was still free to be me—
She jerked her head up, startled as someone abruptly approached her table. Shock spread across her face as she looked back at Brett. Setting down a coffee cup, he lifted up his guitar case resting at his left side. He placed it in an empty chair hugging the small round glass deck table. Once it was secure, he sat down directly across from Tina. He wasn’t smiling.
“You stood me up,” his voice was flat.