Authors: Nancy Adams
Chapter Four
Easing herself from the table, Tina rushed away from the rowdy group of women. She knew they were only so ruckus in an attempt to cheer her up. The establishment was a tri-level building with a restaurant on the first floor, private club on the second, and bar loft lounge on the third.
The third floor held live smooth jazz and other soft sounds which created the perfect atmosphere for personal meetings, parties and other arrangements.
Searching for the spiral staircase that led up towards the loft, Tina found it near the front doors of the private club entrance. She had been a member of the club since her promotion at the studio. Reservations were required for the restaurant and it’s where she had planned to celebrate the night with John.
Shaking thoughts of him back physically, Tina took in a deep breath. None of her friends wanted to tell her the relationship was dead, but she knew this whole night was an attempt to help her see that something needed to change. She knew they were right.
She called them, every week crying about something else he had done or said it seemed. They reminded her that she used to have joy and love life and spontaneous things. Now she just sat around the house waiting for him. Tonight was the first night that someone mentioned his faithfulness.
After all, did he honestly expect her to believe that he was at his friend’s house all morning? He was still wearing his clothes from the night before. He didn’t smell like sex or latex, but she wasn’t a fool either. John wasn’t emotionally present in their marriage anymore and hadn’t been for quite some time. It didn’t matter if he was physically seeing someone else or not.
She wasn’t sure when it began, but it didn’t really matter because this was her life now: Successful at work with absolutely nothing to show at home with her husband of five years. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter how much praise she received from work if her husband wasn’t a part of it—which he wasn’t and hadn’t been for years. She couldn’t even remember the last time they had sex.
“Can I help you?” The bartender’s smooth voice cut through her thoughts like a knife against warm butter, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to reality. She blinked at the thick man staring at her behind the mahogany bar island. “Another round for your table in the club, Miss?”
Chuckling sheepishly, she nodded. “Perhaps we’ll call it a night and end with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc?”
Returning her pleasant smile, the bartender nodded. “Of course, we’ll have a bottle brought down to your table.”
“Thank you.” Even though she said the words out loud, she was certain the man hadn’t heard her as he turned to face a couple approaching him. Her eyes followed his back wistfully before she turned around and froze.
A man stood before her, tall with tanned skin. He had dark loose hair that hung in clumps over his forehead. Deep hazel eyes held hers as they made eye contact. Stunned, she simply stared.
“Do I know you?” He asked genuinely, eyes searching her face.
Tina shifted uncomfortably beneath his gaze. “I don’t think so,” she wanted to pull away, but didn’t move. The man looked her over again, eyes peering into hers.
“Are you sure? I’m certain we’ve met before.”
She managed to shake her head, just a flicker of moment. “No.”
“Do you do crafts? Art?” His continued questioning halted her as she tried to slip away. “Have you ever done a craft fair?” He asked.
Tina looked at the man more closely, leaning back towards him. “My last one was this past March.”
“At Woodlawn Creek Recreational Center?” He seemed excited.
Chuckling lightly, Tina nodded. “Yes, I was there—”
“And you were selling those incredible 3D wooden puzzle sets, weren’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question. Whoever this man was, he certainly remembered her.
Tina stood tall before him then. She ran a hand through her hair and smiled widely. “It seems we have met. I’m sorry, I guess I just see so many people at those fairs,” she held a hand out. “Christina, if we haven’t formally met before.”
The man took her hand. He seemed to massage his thumb into the surface of her skin. Tina stiffened at his touch. He was strong. “Brett,” he offered back with a smile. “I was so fascinated with your work. You said you cut the pieces yourself, right?”
Pulling her hand back, Tina nodded. “I have several wood working tools I use to make my puzzles.” She paused, mystified by her own hesitation to simply converse with him.
She was married—yes—but that didn’t mean she couldn’t talk to men, did it? Glancing around the room, Tina noticed that the loft was bare save for a sprinkle of single and coupled groups. From the stage, the singer let the saxophone player stretch out a soft accompaniment to the piano player’s melody.
When she faced Brett again, she shrugged sheepishly. “Do you like puzzles?” Her voice was strained and uncomfortable, seeming to shake as she spoke.
With a deep intake of air, Brett placed a foot on the foot bar lining the dark, stained structure. “I like creativity. I was at that fair because I was trying to find a unique gift for my niece.”
Tina smiled. “So you don’t like puzzles?”
Returning her grin, Brett leaned into the bar with an elbow on the surface. “I liked
your
puzzles,” he said with emphasis. “I bought two. I wish they were already put together though.”
Relaxing, Tina allowed herself a small laugh. “I’m glad you liked my work to remember me,” locking free hair behind her ear, she crossed her arms loosely.
“You were someone worth taking note of,” he said simply.
His comment shook Tina.
Was that a compliment or did he just hit on me?
She took Brett in more closely. He wore a wide, infectious grin. “I’m just sorry I don’t remember you. Did we talk long back then?”
With a deep shrug, Brett let out a belly laugh which warmed Tina as she stood in his presence. “I can’t remember!”
When their shared laughed died down, Tina mimicked Brett’s relaxed stance and leaned on the bar. “How did your niece like her present?”
With a smile returning, Brett hesitated before opening his mouth to speak, “She loved it. So much I gave her the second one to put together for me. I got her a bird house puzzle and the cottage house, plain. I think she’s getting ready to start painting them next.”
Tina marveled at his words. “That’s incredible,” she felt a bead of pride sprout within her. John never commented on her puzzles or how well she did at the fairs she was invited to or submitted her work to juries for.
Brett reached towards her then, touching the side of her arm. Feeling the touch jogged her out of the self-marvel. Their eyes connected. He smiled at her warmly. “That’s how I felt about your puzzles, too, by the way.”
His words struck something within her. She wanted to open her mouth, but instead, only managed to maintain eye contact. His eyes were beautiful.
“Do you come here often?” He changed the topic then, taking a moment to signal the bartender.
“Oh, I used to,” Tina said, bubbling over, “but that was before I,” she stopped, voice caught in her throat.
Before I got engaged.
With her sudden silence, Brett turned back to her. “Before what?” She stammered, unable to hold his gaze.
Did he see her wedding rings?
“Here’s your water,” the bartender interrupted them. He put his own elbows on the counter top and nodded towards the stage. “Tonya adds some great fire to this atmosphere. You should see her on Fridays when we’re packed.” He directed the last part of his statement at Tina, causing her to glance towards the female singer on stage. “Think you’ll come back to hear Brett here Sunday?”
Tina snapped her attention towards Brett. He laughed hesitantly at the bewilderment in her eyes. “I’m not a rock star,” he said quickly, shooting the bartender a look with furrowed brows. “Sometimes I sing here, nothing big.”
“He usually plays solo though, why are you being shy?” The large man stood tall, laughing.
Through gritted teeth Brett addressed the bartender, “Why don’t you get back to your job.”
Tina chuckled, watching the large man leave them with a jolly smile. “Do you work here?” She asked, more at ease. Brett only smiled, hesitant to answer. “I won’t judge you. I think it’s awesome that you play and sing.”
Finally, he allowed himself to laugh, catching his friend’s sidelong glance as he attended to a woman approaching the bar behind Tina. “No, I’m one of the owners.”
“Oh,” Tina’s eyes grew wide, and then wider as she realized his words. “You own the club? This club?” She stopped herself short, unable to hide her surprise.
With a sigh, Brett lifted his water to his lips. After a drink, he sat it down and looked at her squarely. “Tell you what—if you’re really curious, I can tell you the whole story. Not tonight though. I’m actually here on business,” he stopped abruptly then, glancing quickly at his watch.
Tina remembered her own party then. How long had she been talking to Brett? “I’ve got to go too,” she stuttered looking around. No one was coming up the steps, in fact, she was sure she could hear Beth from the floor below. As she began to take a step away, Brett reached for her again.
“Come back Tuesday in the evening.” His frankness accosted her. She blinked in returned.
I’m married. I can’t come back.
“You can come back tomorrow if you want, but I won’t be able to talk then.” He didn’t seem to notice her uneasiness as he let his soft grip on the tip of her elbow go. “So, Tuesday at five?” He didn’t wait for a response, giving her a smile and a nod instead. “I’ll see you then, Christina.”
His lingering gaze set something aglow within her. Nodding with choppy movements, Tina remained silent. He slipped from her then, pausing to finish off the rest of his water before he turned from her and left the way he came. He approached two men who appeared older than he was.
Definitely here on business…
she observed, watching as he greeted the men with wide arms. They laughed and greeted, shaking hands freely.
Before they turned to take a seat, Brett shot a glance over his shoulder. His right eye caught hers briefly in that moment, beautiful smile still dancing across his face.
Chapter Five
Tina left quickly after Brett had returned his attention to his business party. The bartender had given her a sly grin, one she ignored. She made her way back to her friends on the second floor. As she had suspected, the bottle was more than half gone with just enough for her to get one small glass.
She had been gone so long that the attention was no longer on her. Hannah, Beth, and Sue were talking boy problems now. The alcohol had them all feeling frisky. After another 30 minutes of gossip and tipsy-girl sex talk, they decided to leave, their conversation only getting wilder during the ride home.
The night passed by in a blur. Their loud voices fading into the back ground as Tina addressed the soft warmth bubbling in her stomach. She was too old to ignore the attraction she had towards Brett, and too wise to lie to herself about wanting to see him again.
There would be no harm in it...
She could have male friends, couldn’t she?
By the time Sue and Hannah were dropped off, Beth felt safe enough to drive. She had calmed down and for the majority of the ride home, the two sat in silence. Tina was too lost in thought to notice that Beth had stopped outside her house.
“You’re really hurt that he forgot about today, aren’t you?” Beth asked softly.
Tina snapped her head towards her friend. She stammered as she came back to reality, thinking of John. “Oh—oh, yeah. He’s a jerk.”
“No, it’s more than that, isn’t it?” Beth put her hands behind her neck, indicating that she had nowhere to go.
“Well, yeah. You know John’s been a little absent lately,” Tina looked out the window. He would probably be asleep on the couch. “He’s not happy but I don’t know why.”
“I don’t think it’s your job to find out why,” Beth said flatly. Tina stiffened, unsure of her friend’s tone.
“What are you getting at?”
With a shrug, Beth took a deep breath. “I’ve been your friend for a while now. John is only getting worse. When will you let yourself live and be happy?”
Tina blinked, repeating her friend’s word back to herself. “You think I should leave him?”
“We’ve all thought you should leave him two years ago when he
refused
to visit your family for Christmas because you had just visited his for Thanksgiving and he was
tired
.” Beth gestured wildly when she talked, emphasizing certain words with hand quotation marks and making faces on other words she pronounced with disgust.
“And now he forgets the one day that has always meant so much to you throughout the entirety of your relationship?” She rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in anger. “How do you forget the day you proposed to your wife and she said yes?” Her voice began to raise. “You’ve never even asked him to remember or plan anything. You do the planning because it’s a day you want to cherish with him. And he’s too
tired
?” She scoffed thickly. “Tired from what?” She was nearly yelling now.
Tina shifted uncomfortably, confused by her friend’s sudden outburst. Unsure of what to say, she remained silent as Beth breathed heavily. Her demeanor changed suddenly, and she sat up, running her hands over her face and then down over her hair.
“I don’t mean to yell. I just,” she sighed deeply, “you always wonder why I am the way I am,” Beth turned towards Tina then. “You’re like a sister to me, Tina. You know that, don’t you?” Tina nodded, smiling kindly. “Well, I’ve seen jerks like John before. They’ve used me, abused me, and strung me along until I almost lost my sanity.” She shook her head.
“You’re better than this.” Beth turned towards Tina, catching her eyes in a lock before she continued. “You’re better than
him
. You know I would never try to tell you what to do, but I can’t hold it in anymore. You deserve happiness.”
Her friend’s words stuck with her as she said goodnight and retired to her house. John was asleep on the couch, a foot free to rest on the coffee table that was sprinkled with beer bottles. He had invited friends over in her absence that evening it seemed.
So much for being tired.
In her bedroom, Tina changed her clothes slowly, welcoming the silence to the loud thoughts buzzing in her head. She had never considered divorce before. Even the mere thought of the word seemed so taboo to her, raised in a strict southern-style Christian household, she knew no one in her family would understand or even support her feelings if it were a road she ventured down.
Sitting down on the bed, she met her own gaze through the mirror accompanying the nine drawer chest directly in front of her. She sat with just her bra and panties on, and took herself in fully, noticing the length of her dirty blonde hair. She had a small, round face that ended with a smooth, pointed chin. Dusty emerald eyes stared back at her.
She shifted her focus from her reflection to her wedding rings. John was so different six years ago when she had first met him. He fell over himself every day to get time with her. He canceled plans with friends and was always so eager to set up dates. His overt feelings for her touched her in a way no other man had. Suddenly, she was important and mattered to someone.
When she fell for him, she fell hard. She couldn’t even remember when he stopped being the John she used to love so much—the John that accompanied her to her craft shows, that used to boast about her work to friends, and even helped her business by suggesting her items as gifts to friends.
He used to be proud of her.
And now?
Tina slowly pushed the rings off her finger and turned them over in the pads of her fingertips. “Now he doesn’t even care that I exist.”