No matter how old I was, or what I’d done to make things right, I was clearly the one that couldn’t get things right. Nobody would even question this, because it was what they said would happen all along.
Ashley had been a part of the family, since she’d dated Ford for years. There was a time when we were all pretty close. She knew she could trust me.
“Fine, you want to keep the baby, then you’re going to do it my way. From this day forward, as far as everyone is concerned, that’s my baby you’re havin’.”
She looked shocked. “What? You’re crazy!”
“I’m serious, Ash. I can’t let this destroy Parker and I sure as Hell don’t want my father findin’ out later. This is the only way I see things workin’ out.”
“Your plan will never work. Ford knows the truth.”
“I’ll handle Ford. Honestly, he’ll probably be happy that my life is so miserable after keepin’ your secret from him.”
“I’m not sleepin’ with you and we’re definitely not gettin’ married, if that’s what you’re thinkin’. I don’t need your help.”
“Save your drama. I wouldn’t marry your ass if my life depended on it. At some point you’re goin’ to want someone to take responsibility for that child and I’m offering to be that person. The child will grow up right. For someone that’s so sure of what she wants, I think that my offer would put your mind at ease. You’ve known me for years, Ash. I’ll help you.”
“Why would you do something like that? I know you hate me.”
I was realizing just what I was signing on to. I hated myself for it, but out of panic I’d sealed my fate. “I might not like you, but I love my brother. I promised my dad that I’d look out for him that night and I didn’t. You may not understand, but this is the only way I can make sure he never finds out what Parker did.”
“You’d rather take the blame for sleepin’ with me? As close as you were to Ford, do you honestly think anyone would believe it?”
I laughed. “My father thinks I’m a fuckin’ loser. Of course, he will believe it. Besides, Ford isn’t speakin’ to me, so it makes perfect sense to assume that I fucked his woman and knocked her up.”
“What about your girlfriend?”
“We’re through. She wants nothin’ to do with me.”
“You really want to be a father to a child that ain’t even yours?”
“No. I’m not goin’ to lie to you. I don’t, at all, but I’m goin’ to do it because like it or not, that baby is my blood. I may not have knocked you up, but he or she is my family and I will take care of it, because it’s the right thing to do.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to promise that you’ll never go to Parker. If you need somethin’, you come to me. From now on, that baby is ours. The truth can never come out.”
She stared out at the barn for a few minutes, I guess to consider that she had no other options. “Fine. As long as the baby is loved, I don’t care if you want to be some hero. I’m not the one who has to live with themselves for the lie. You do. I never should have slept with your brother that night. I guess it doesn’t matter who the father is now, since it won’t ever be Ford.”
“Yeah, I know that upsets you. Look Ash, I’m not goin’ to lie and tell you that I’m goin’ to be great at this, but I will make sure the child wants for nothin’.”
“I hope you do, Shayne.”
When I got out of her car, I felt like I was going to puke. There wasn’t a bone in my body that wasn’t shaking. How could I have made such a serious decision without thinking it through? I’d just signed over my life to raise a child that wasn’t mine.
My entire future had changed in the blink of an eye. Having a child was going to change everything. Knowing that she didn’t want marriage or any sort of commitment I couldn’t give her, I’d still be free to date, but who would want to marry a loser with a kid?
Before I went through with it, I had to talk to Lacey one last time. I needed her to know that I was wrong for what I’d done to her and this time I needed her to listen. She needed to hear that I was sorry, before I told the rest of the family, including Ford.
Lacey
“I saw you talking to Joey last night. Don’t tell me that there’s nothing going on between the two of you. You can lie to Ford about it, but not me, so start spilling.” Sky wasn’t going to let up, even when there was nothing to tell. A couple weeks had passed and he was hitting on me every chance he got.
He wasn’t giving up on trying to get me into his bed. Following his moving in, he made a point to pop in to Ford and Sky’s place every weekend, making sure I knew where I could find him, if I was ever ready to admit that I wanted him.
His cockiness never let up, nor did my relentless attitude to prove that he was wrong.
“I have nothing to hide, I swear. Yeah, he’s sexy as Hell, but I can’t get passed how much of an asshole he is. It’s not just that. I know you think it’s pathetic, but I’m still not over Shayne. I miss the little things, you know?”
She shrugged and took some finger food out of the oven. “I guess. It’s been a while, though. Do you remember telling me that I should hook up with some strange guy to help get over Mack? Maybe you should do the same. It doesn’t have to mean something with Joey. He’s not a stranger and has made it clear that you would enjoy it.”
“Ford said he gets around.” I didn’t want to be some whore. Friends having an arrangement was different than random hookups. Sure, I’d spent time with him, but all I knew was that he thought he was this great prize. As curious as I was, I also wasn’t about to stoop to that level yet. I needed another reason to go and sleep with someone like him. It couldn’t just be because he said it was going to happen.
“Lace, I’m not saying you should ask him to go steady, but you could at least live a little.”
“You’re asking me to spread my legs for someone. That thing with Mack was different. You needed to get over him cheating. You didn’t want to break up with Mack, but his actions set it into motion. I broke up with Shayne, because I wanted to.”
“No you didn’t!” She shook her head and leaned on the counter, giving me that look like I couldn’t fool her. “You broke up with him because he kept things from you. You didn’t do it because you wanted to end things. You loved him. Shit, you still do. Look, I’m not saying that you should jump into bed with Joey. Maybe that’s a terrible idea, but it, at least, helps you move forward. How long do you plan on moping around, wishing you could turn back time?”
I look down, unable to admit that she was right. We both knew it though. Sky walked into the other room and started straightening up to prepare for her guests to arrive. She wasn’t expecting many, but the apartment would be filled for sure.
Ford walked in with a bag full of groceries and met her for a kiss before coming into the kitchen. “What’s up, Lace?”
“Hey.” I walked out of the kitchen, passing Sky as I made my way to the door. I needed air.
Sky was right. Even if I didn’t sleep with Joey, I still needed to move forward.
Joey’s voice caught me off guard. He was inside of his place, with the door cracked. “Lace, you think you could help me for a sec?” All I could see was that he was standing there, shirtless and his jeans were undone.
My mouth dropped when I stared at the small patch of hair that started at his belly button and trailed down below his underwear line. He cleared his throat, causing me to look up at his smiling face. I tried to play it off; by playing the same role that I’d gotten accustomed to using. “I’m not coming in there so you get me in your bed, Joey. How many times are we going to go over this?”
He leaned against the doorframe and traced the wood with his fingers. “I need someone with small hands to reach behind the couch and get my remote. When I try to move the couch, it bunched up the carpet and I don’t want to risk tearin’ it, but thanks for reminding me how we’re never goin’ to hook up.”
Okay…I felt like a moron.
I threw up my hands and walked toward his door without commenting. When I got inside and he’d closed the door, he pointed to where the remote had fallen behind the couch. “I guess I need to stop putting it on the back of the headrest.”
I got down on my knees and went to reach for it. “Why didn’t you just use a broom or something to pull it out?”
“Because the broom wouldn’t look as good as your ass does stickin’ up in the air.”
I swung my body around and tossed him the remote. “You’re such a dick!”
He was already laughing. “Thanks for your help, and for the show.”
I got up in his face. “This is why you’ll never have me.”
He grabbed my arms and pulled me close to him as I was trying to pull away. I fought him, with no result. “I will have you, Lace.” He put his lips up to my ear and I tried so hard not to like the heat that was igniting from his touch. “It’s only a matter of time before you come beggin’.”
I slapped him hard across the face and he grabbed my arm again, shoving his lips onto mine. I pulled away, backing up while still facing him. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
“Why?” He laughed. “You’ve been dreamin’ of that for weeks.”
“Screw you and you’re sloppy ass attempt. If you touch me again, I swear you’ll be sorry. You’re the last person I’d ever consider sleeping with.”
He cocked his eyebrow, but remained smiling. “Your loss, not mine. I don’t beg for pussy, never had to and never will.”
I didn’t get how he was still being such a dick. I refused to say anything more to him. This day was for Sky and Ford. I didn’t have to even look at Joey, not that I wanted to. “Ugh, you’re hopeless!”
His smile, the one that made me want to walk up and jump into his arms, forsaking the fact that I loathed him, flashed at me. “You look real nice today, by the way.”
I noticed him staring at my breasts. “Seriously? Get a life and leave me alone. If you can get so much pussy, how come you never have anyone here?”
He leaned against the doorframe and cleared his voice. “I didn’t want you gettin’ jealous.”
“Paleease. You are the last man that would ever make me jealous. Screw whoever you want.”
“I do. They come by durin’ the week, when I know you’re not around. If you want, I can give you some numbers so that you can hear about me from them. I’m sure they’d concede that I’m the best they’ve ever had. In case you’re doubting me.”
I tossed my hands up. “I’m out of here. You’re hopeless.”
Arguing with him, over his skills was the last thing that I wanted to do. I’d rather sit in my best friends kitchen and watch her swooning over her boyfriend. Both were torture, but one worse than the other, in so many ways.
Chapter 7
Shayne
Two weeks went by before I had a chance to talk to her. Ford and his cousin Joey had moved into the same apartment building. Ford’s mother and his aunt Viv were throwing them a joint house warming party. It was low key, but since I was family, we’d been invited. Okay, maybe I wasn’t invited, per se, but I was going anyway, because I knew she’d be there for her best friend.
The day of the party, I paced around my room, thinking of the best way to tell her what I was planning on doing. No way would have worked to my advantage, so I was forced to just be honest, for once. It was going to hurt, but I had to go through with it. There was a baby out there that was going to need a father in its life. I’d promised Ashley that I would take full responsibility and that was what I was going to do.
Lacey was my only concern, though. It wasn’t about telling my family, or even Ford. She was the one I was worried about having to face again.
Knowing that this was going to hurt more this time around, I prepared myself the best I could. I wore her favorite cologne she’d bought me and a shirt that I hated, but she loved. My efforts would be for nothing, but at least I could go out remembering that I’d tried.
This was all about sacrifice for me.
I’d lied to my family, my girlfriend and myself for too long.
I’d done crazy things without regard for the people that I hurt, including me.
I deserved this fate as much as my brother deserved to be happy.
Ford had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me, but I was willing to bet that when he found out my plan, he’d reconsider. The most important thing to Ford was family. He knew it and I had to at least try to make things right with everyone. It was the only way I’d be able to live with myself and my decisions.
I had to ring his phone twice before he answered and it wasn’t a pleasant introduction. “What do you want, Shayne?”
“We need to talk.”
“No we don’t!”
“I can’t let this mistake ruin Parker’s life.”
“What are you tellin’ me for? I don’t give a shit about her or that baby.”
“That baby is our blood, whether you like it or not. That’s why I’m goin’ to take responsibility for it. I’m goin’ to tell the family it’s mine, so Parker can have a chance.”
“You’re insane.”
“I need to know that you’ll keep the secret. I’m comin’ to you first, cuz. I know you’re pissed at me. Hell, I’m pissed at myself, but it’s been weeks and I don’t want to fight anymore. Lacey refuses to talk to me and I have nothin’ else to lose.”
He got quiet and I wondered if he’d hung up on me.
“You sure this is what you want to do? It’s a big commitment. Your life will never be the same.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“I ain’t ready to forgive you for lyin’ yet. We’re kin, so I got your back. This is your problem, Shayne. Keep me and Sky out of it.”
“You have my word. Is Lacey there?”
“Yep.”
“You mind if I come by later to tell the family? I’m going to tell them that I slept with Ash that night. There can’t be any question as to me being the father.”
“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me right now? You’re goin’ to be a couple with that lyin’ whore? You’ve lost your damn mind, Shayne. This plan of yours is insane, you know that right?”
“What would you do if you were me? He’s got a chance to do something great. He’s so fuckin’ talented. I can’t sit back knowing that I could do this for him. Ash agreed to keep it a secret as long as the baby was taken care of. I gave her my word. Besides, you don’t have to be a couple to raise a kid. When the time is right, Parker can step up and be a father. For right now, I need to do this, for my brother.”