Other Side of the Wall (6 page)

“I
already ate.” I began to shut the door.

He
stopped it with his foot. “Ava, I know you ate cereal and I bet you didn’t even
eat it all. Please come eat with us.”

I
didn’t say anything. He knew me too well. I guess that’s what happened when you
spent as much time together as we had.

“Ava,
my family said I can’t come back unless you’re with me.”

I
rolled my eyes.

“I’m
serious.”

“Look
at me.” I waved my hand over myself. “I’m not really dressed to be going
anywhere and I had to work a long shift today.”

He
looked me up and down and then he stepped closer, which surprised me.

“Ava,
you look great as always, but if you want to go change I’ll wait. Like I said,
I can’t come back without you.”

I
looked at him thoughtfully. “Do
you
want me there?”

He
hesitated, but then he slowly brought his hand up and he touched my cheek
softly.

I
looked up at him and smiled.

He dropped his hand
quickly, but he still smiled back at me, and he didn’t move away. “Ava, I want
you….I mean I want you there,” he amended quickly.

For
a second I thought we were going to have a moment. Maybe we had half a moment.
Or maybe I imagined it because I so wanted it.

“Let
me change.”

He
winked. “I’ll wait.”

I
ran upstairs quickly and brushed my teeth and threw my hair up, and then I
applied some mascara and lip gloss. It was the best I could do. I kept the
Alabama t-shirt on, but threw on some cute jeans instead of running shorts. I
came back down to find Scott sitting on my couch. He looked gorgeous and like
he had gotten some sun over the weekend; he had this rugged look to him. I
wondered where he went or what he did.

He
stood up when he saw me, smiled, and walked toward the door. I met him there,
but before we left, I grabbed his arm. He looked down at my hand. I knew he was
deciding whether he should allow that or not, but I didn’t care.

“Where
were you this weekend? Scott, are you upset with me?”

I
knew my questions were making him uncomfortable, which led me to believe he was
upset with me. And I knew our physical proximity and contact were also an issue
for him, but I was tired of pretending that I wanted to be just his friend.

He
certainly was taking his time answering, so I eventually dropped my hand. “So
you are upset with me.”

He
reached out and grabbed my hand and held it. “No, Ava, I’m not upset with you.”

I
was afraid to move or say anything for fear he would realize he was actually
holding my hand. I loved the way our hands felt together. I just wondered if it
meant anything to him, and if it meant that perhaps he wanted something more,
too.

His
blue eyes penetrated mine. “I just needed to get away and clear my head and
think.”

“Did
it work?”

He
looked down at our entwined hands. “I don’t know.” And without a thought he
dropped my hand.

I
hated that he let go, but it was progress. “Can I help with something?” I hated
seeing him so unsettled.

He
shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “Ava, you may be the only person
that can, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”

“You’re
confusing me.”

He
half smiled. “I know.” He didn’t offer any more of an explanation. “We better
get back to my place.”

I
followed him out the door hoping that maybe someday this would all make sense.

Chapter 6

I
was happily greeted by his parents once again. I was also introduced to his
sister, Deanna, and her husband, Eric, and his brother, Nick. Scott was the
oldest. Deanna was five years younger than him and Nick was seven years
younger. Deanna looked like her Mom minus the crazy dyed red hair. Her hair was
bleached blonde. The Langston women apparently like to experiment with hair
color (I came to find out his Mom was a hair stylist, so that made sense). They
were both fairly tall women with medium builds, but his Mom was slightly
heavier than Deanna. Nick and Scott could have almost been twins, but Nick was
a little taller than his big brother, and he had brown eyes like their dad’s
and a nose like their mom’s. They were a very nice looking family, and they
seemed nice too. They were certainly going out of their way to make me feel
welcome.

After
the initial greeting, they all kind of stood there staring at me and Scott, who
was by my side, but as always with a buffer.

I
decided we had all looked at each other enough. “Mrs. Langston, can I help with
anything.”

“Do
you hear this girl’s manners?” she exclaimed. “We’re going to wrap you up and
take two of you.”

I
almost thought she was going to pinch my cheeks, but instead she took my hand.
“Call me Myrna and come with me to the kitchen and tell me all about yourself.”

I
looked back at Scott while his mom was dragging me off and smiled; he grinned
back.

As
soon as we reached the kitchen, she turned back around. “Jerry, you better
check on those steaks,” she yelled, even though he was only a few feet away.

He
obediently walked out the back door as Deanna came and joined us in the
kitchen.

While
I chopped vegetables and fruit, I told my life story minus the husband and
divorce part. I got the feeling they knew that anyway. I was surprised that
Scott had talked to his family about me, but it was a pleasant surprise.

Sometimes
Myrna would interrupt me, ok more than sometimes, and she would look at her
daughter and say, “Listen to this girl, is she not the most adorable creature?”

Deanna
would agree, but I think she was just appeasing her mom. Not that she didn’t
seem to like me, but who calls an almost thirty-year-old woman adorable? Truth
be told, I was only a few months older than Deanna. Scott came back eventually,
but his mom promptly told him to leave—that this was her time with me. I
couldn’t figure out why she was so interested in me. After all, I was only
Scott’s friend, but I’ll admit, it felt good. I missed motherly affection, and
his mom had plenty to give.

It
didn’t take too long to get dinner ready, and it wasn’t like Scott had a table
to set. To be honest, I wasn’t sure why they would have a family gathering at
his house. His mom even berated him. “Here you are, a Doctor and on T.V. and
you have no furniture. We have to sit on camp chairs.”

“We
could eat at my place if you all want to. I have plenty of room at my table,” I
offered.

His
mom’s eyes lit up. “Excellent.”

I
had a feeling she wanted to see my place.

Scott
joined me at his breakfast bar. “Are you sure? My family can be a little much,”
he whispered.

“Scott,
I grew up in the south, this will be nothing.”

“Thanks,
Ava.”

His
mom spouted out instructions on what everyone should grab and we made the short
trek to my house. When I let everyone in, his mom took a quick look around.
“Now this is a home.” She looked between me and Scott. “Could you please help
my son, maybe direct him to a furniture store.”

“I
would love to,” I said.

I
also had some other decorating ideas for his house, which included taking down
all the pictures of Jenna. That sounded so terrible, but every time I was over
there, I felt like she was ever present and that I could never live up to her. I
was beginning to dislike her very much.

Scott
looked down at me. “It’s a date.”

I
wondered if he meant to say that. We never called our outings dates, but I
wasn’t going to correct him.

Scott
followed me into the kitchen to retrieve dishes and silverware. He kept
repeating his thanks. I kept telling him it wasn’t a big deal, in fact I was
happy to do it. I liked his mom, she was a hoot. She would have made a fine
southern momma if she had a different accent. She had the big hair and
everything else going for her.

I
had a gray farm style table with bone colored high back chairs that sat eight,
but this was the first time I came close to having a full table. Peter’s family
never ate in our home; we always had to go to his mother’s house. That’s ok; so
far I liked Scott’s family much better. His parents each took an end and I
ended up between Scott and Nick. I didn’t mind being sandwiched in between
those two men.
Double the pleasure, double the fun
, I thought.

Nick
was less reserved than his brother. He was a little loud, like his mom, and fun
like her too. Nick was a plumber, like his Dad. They owned their own shop
called Langston and Sons Plumbing. I teased Scott that maybe he didn’t get the
memo on his chosen career path.

 “Nah,
Scotty was always too busy with his nose in a book or studying something with
his microscope,” Nick said.

I
looked at Scott. “Scotty?”

He
looked over at Nick like he should be quiet now, but Nick didn’t take the hint,
or he deliberately ignored it.

His
mom jumped in and said how proud they all were of Scott. He was the first
person in their family to graduate from college, and for him to receive his
doctorate was just icing on the cake.

She
grinned at me. “You must be pretty smart too, to be a nurse and all.”

“She’s
not just a nurse – she has an advanced degree.” Scott said proudly.

I
was touched and caught off guard by his addition.

“Well,”
his mom said. “Smart and beautiful.”

Nick
caught my attention. “What do you think of dating younger men?”

I
chuckled. “How young?”

He
grinned impishly. “Like twenty seven.”

I
smiled. “Aren’t
you
twenty seven?”

“You
know… I am,” he said wickedly.

Scott
abruptly got up. “I need some more to drink. Ava, do you want some more water?”

I
looked up at him. He didn’t look happy. “Um, sure. Thank you.”

As
he walked past Nick, he unexpectedly smacked him in the back of the head. “Don’t
even think about it.”

Nick
rubbed the back of his head, but he still had a smile on his face when he
looked over to me and winked.

Their
mom pointed her finger in their direction. “Scotty, don’t hit your brother, and
Nicky, you watch yourself.”

She
looked back to me. “Sorry, Ava. It’s like I raised wolves.”

I
just smiled.

Scott
finally joined me again as he brought me some more ice water. I thanked him,
and he looked at me sincerely. “You’re welcome.”

I
loved his sincerity. Nick was fun and all, but I could tell he didn’t have
Scott’s sincerity, and I would take sincerity any day. The meal was great. It
had all the perfect elements: good food, great conversation, and even better
company. I kept looking at Scott. I had missed him this past weekend. I also
kept having the urge to hold his hand or touch him. I just wish he would let me,
or better yet, he would want to and initiate it on his own.

I
had made a cake the day before. Normally Scott would come over for dessert on
Sunday and we would watch a movie. I made it just in case he happened to show
up, but he hadn’t. I thought this was a good time to get rid of it. I didn’t
need to be eating a whole cake by myself. It was a death by chocolate Bundt
cake, and I had made homemade whip cream as a topping. I also had some fresh
berries to top it off.

Scott
helped me dish out the dessert in the kitchen. While we were preparing each
serving he apologized for his brother’s behavior.

I
waved off his concern. “It’s fine, he was just kidding around.”

“I
don’t think so, Ava.”

I
looked at him as he was placing some whip cream on a slice of cake. He just
seemed so out of sorts. He had been that way on and off all evening.

“Are
you ok? I keep feeling like I’ve done something.”

He
slowly set the spoon full of whip cream down and looked my way. “Ava, all
you’re guilty of is being who you are.”

“Is
that a problem?”

“Yes.”

My
heart dropped. He was telling me he didn’t like me; maybe that was why he left.
He was trying to figure out a way to say we couldn’t be friends anymore. I had
been cutting the cake, so I set the knife down and turned around. I didn’t want
to cry in front of him or his family. “Excuse me,” I said.  I walked out to the
hall that led to the upstairs. I was just about to go up the stairs when I felt
myself being pulled into Scott’s arms.

“I
could really use that instruction manual for you now,” he whispered in my ear.

“I
don’t have one. If you don’t want to be around me anymore, just tell me.”

He
pulled me closer and it felt like heaven. I had so badly wanted to be held by
him, to be close to him.

“Ava,
is that what you think?”

“What
else would explain your behavior?”

“Would
you believe jealousy?”

I
didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help, but pull back a bit so I could look him in
the eye.

He
looked down at me and smiled sadly. “Ava, I know I don’t have any right to be,
especially since I’m not sure if I’m ready to be romantically involved with
you, but I find I want to be.”

“Then
maybe you’re ready.”

“Jenna’s
only been gone six months.”

“And…”

“And
it’s complicated, Ava.”

He
let go of me, and we walked back to the kitchen. I didn’t know why it was so
complicated. We were great together. We finished putting dessert together
silently. I didn’t say much after we sat back down with his family. I just
listened to them all go back and forth. The conversation mainly focused around
sports. I take it Eric was a south-sider and he liked the White Sox and Nick
was a definite north-sider and he was a Cub’s fan. I don’t know why it mattered
this year, they both stunk. Scott and I had been lucky enough to see a Cub’s
game at Wrigley where they actually won. Scott wasn’t a huge sports fan, but he
enjoyed it once in a while. It was actually refreshing to be around a guy that
didn’t feel the need to watch or talk about sports twenty-four-seven.

That
was my problem; there were so many refreshing things about Scott. I found
myself wishing so many times that we had met each other before Jenna and Peter.
Why couldn’t
he
have walked into the urgent care?

His
family was overly complimentary about the dessert, especially his Mom. Scott
stayed quiet, and we didn’t look at each other. I could tell his parents
noticed, and they looked concerned. After dessert, his mom directed everyone
back to Scott’s and said she would stay and help me with the dishes. I told her
it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted.

Everyone
but Myrna said their goodbyes. Scott quickly escaped back to his side of the
wall. That insurmountable wall was ever-present.

Once
everyone left, Myrna turned to me. “I hope you don’t mind me staying. I wanted
to talk to you alone.”

“Not
at all,” I replied.

We
walked all the dishes back to the kitchen, and she started to fill my sink with
dish soap. I told her I had a dishwasher, but she said doing dishes by hand was
therapeutic. I got it.

I
stood next to her and rinsed and dried.

“Ava,
do you mind me asking how you feel about my son?”

“Which
one?” I teased.

She
chuckled. “The brooding, quiet one.”

“Him,
yeah, I don’t really like him right now.”

She
looked at me kindly. She and Scott shared the same eyes.

“I
can’t blame you there, sweetheart.” I like the way she said sweetheart in her
Chicago accent.

I
threw my wet hands up in the air. “I mean I get it, his wife died and he loves
her. I’m sure you all did. From the sounds of it, she was perfect.”

She
started laughing. That caught me off guard. She touched my shoulder with her
wet soapy hand as she tried to gain her composure. “Oh, sweetie, that is the
biggest crock I ever heard. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Jenna was
nowhere close to perfect and we only put up with her for Scott’s sake, but
there was no love lost between us.”

That
news was a shock to my system. I just looked at her. I didn’t even know what to
say.