Only Love (The Atonement Series) (14 page)

What was I doing? The man was perfect and we would make a great couple but could I really trust him? He had connections to the Ukrainian mob for God’s sake and although he was a chef, he was one of the most chased after bachelors in La Jolla. He was a player, plain and simple.

Yes, he had convinced me there had been no one special since he ended his relationship with Mikayla and according to him, the only two women who had ever touched his heart had been his former girlfriend and Gisele, the elusive French beauty who had gotten away. However, that didn’t mean he’d kept his cock in cotton wool all this time and I was sure there were more than a few women in town who could attest to his sexual prowess, in bed and out.

I slipped out of bed and walked to his luxurious bathroom where I urinated and used the spare toothbrush he had put out for me. It attached itself to an electric toothbrush that stood side by side next to his. I brushed my teeth and began to run the shower.

“Where are your keys? I will walk over to your apartment and get you something to wear,” he said through the closed double doors.

“They’re in my handbag on the sofa in the living room. A pair of jeans and a short sleeved top should suffice,” I shouted through the door.

“Not where I plan on taking you today, sweetie. It’s a surprise so it’s best if you wear something a bit more conservative. How about a dress and a pair of high heels?”

“That should work as long as we won’t be walking in the sand.”

“I promise you that is not going to happen,” he replied out loud.

The water had begun to steam and I turned on the vent to get rid of the excess moisture that was beginning to gather in the bathroom. Where exactly could he be taking me? I hadn’t been to work in almost a week and though Colin was handling it all, surely he worried about me and what I was doing?

It never occurred to me that he might be having a good time himself. He was a man after all and men didn’t let their motors idle, no matter how heartbroken they were so why did I have a hard time believing Colin would be any different? Surely he’d found someone to pass the time with and although I had no right to be jealous, the claws of envy wrapped themselves around my heart and squeezed until I could barely breathe.

It wasn’t fair, goddamn it, and if he was in Seattle where he
should
have been, I wouldn’t have given his love life a second thought. The mere idea—let alone the mental image—of him going down on another woman, romancing another made me want to gag because he was still mine and no matter what happened, I’d left
him
. He owed me not to mention he should have
wanted
to stay true to me if he wanted us to give our relationship another chance. However, if I found out he’d strayed during such a distinctive period in our relationship, I didn’t know if I would be able to trust him again.

How had I trusted him at all, knowing what I knew? He and his brother had run over my father on the eve of Thanksgiving and never had bothered to report the incident to the police because they were wealthy and entitled and neither wanted to serve any time incarcerated. Meanwhile, my father’s death continued to be an unsolved mystery while I knew the truth and my mother was slowly falling apart and would never be the same again.

My decision not to go to the police and tell them the truth was two-fold: once, I had been in love with Colin. Although a part of me hated him with a passion, another part of me still loved him with a deep and overwhelming need that made me feel incomplete now we were no longer together. My sister, Caitlyn, was also dating Liam and she had no idea of the truth. How could I shatter her world and the first man she loved so deeply in the name of justice?

If I ever decided to go to the police to have them re-open the crime since there wasn’t a statute of limitations on murder, it would have to be with Caitlyn by my side and she would have to be willing to lose the man she’d fallen in love with.

Although she was my little sister, I knew her well enough to know that would never happen because she’d rather die than see Liam spend one day in prison for a crime he and his brother had committed while high on Bath Salts. It was completely unfair to everyone involved, most notably our poor mother who suffered day in and day out but my hands were tied and there was no right decision in a situation like the one I found myself entangled in at the moment.

It completely consumed my life and although I had thought of every idea to go through with it and report them, I never managed to build the courage to go through with it.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off before I quickly dried my hair and placed it in a chignon while it was still wet. I couldn’t find a hair dryer and I doubt Drake had one since he wore his hair short in the back. I had to give him credit though because he had great hair and used top of the line hair products, including shampoo and conditioner.

I walked into his bedroom and observed two choices facing me. One was an expensive rose-printed bustier dress which skimmed my curves and possessed thick shoulder straps by Dolce and Gabbana while the other was a grosgrain floral printed dress which only had one strap by Jason Wu. They were both earth-toned in colors with lots of beautiful and natural greens and creams throughout.

He had chosen a couple pairs of high heeled sandals including a cream pair of Jimmy Choo platform sandals that looked a lot less flimsy than they truly were and a pale green pair of Prada peep-toe sandals with a four and a half inch heel to match.

I immediately chose the Prada peep-toes because I had worn them before for hours at a time and they were very comfortable.

My mind had drifted off and I’d been so driven on what I was going to wear and what pair of shoes I liked the most, I didn’t notice Drake was right behind me. His hard body was pressed against mine and it was only with sheer relief I realized he didn’t have an erection. That would have been an awkward situation.

“Listen, I am going to shower but I can’t wait to see you in either one of those dresses.”

I turned toward him though I stepped back just a bit. “You still haven’t told me where we’re going and I should say this up front: I’m not particularly good with surprises.”

He grabbed my hands and held them in his own before he turned them palms up and kissed my right hand. “Ensenada. It’s in Baja California and it’s beautiful. You’re going to love it there.”

“Wait a minute…how far away is this place?”

Drake rolled his green-blue eyes. “It’s only one hundred miles and it’s a beautiful city by the beach. There are places to walk and shop and I want to treat you to every place I know about that has been special to me. I really love the city and you will too.”

I smiled in return. “I have no doubt but why didn’t you just tell me that? I know how much you adore pulling surprises on me but you have treated me like an absolute princess. I keep waiting for reality to crash in.”

“What do you mean?” he inquired in a generally perplexed voice.

“Well, you’re a top chef at a really expensive restaurant—are you underneath the illusion you aren’t missed? I have Ground Beans and I haven’t been to work in a while. Surely we can’t live our lives like we are perpetually on vacation.”

Drake leaned forward and kissed my lips. It was gentle yet memorable and although there was absolutely no tongue involved, every part of my body below the waist went absolutely into a frenzy of nerves. My sex ached for his touch and caress if it felt anything like his beautiful and gentle hands. The tapered fingers perfect for a cook and his nails, buffed to a shine, cut short, and pristine.

“Listen to me. I have to go back to work tomorrow night. I expect you to at least drop in and say ‘hello’. In terms of Ground Beans, I’m hoping you wouldn’t worry so much since you have Colin and he knows what you have been through. You need to get some rest and spend this week recuperating. Then, on Monday, you can go back to work and discover you haven’t missed much of anything at all.”

Drake was right of course. I co-owned a coffee shop with my former fiancé. It wasn’t like we owned some major corporation or anything. And speaking of corporations, Colin had co-owned one of those too since he was one of the founding owners of uConnect before he pulled out and sold his shares to his brother. I had no doubt in my mind he could hold everything together at Ground Beans until I went back to work.

I smiled at him before my hands immediately went to his face. “You’re right. I’m just being silly for worrying about everything especially when I have help. Go take your shower. You have me all hot and bothered over going to Ensenada now.”

His face was too close to mine as he grabbed my hands with his own and pushed our bodies together. “Hot and bothered, huh? Over a port ship city in Mexico? Wait until I really show you a good time and then you can use a loaded phrase like that.”

I looked away from his intense eyes now the color of pale aquamarine and toward his slight five o’clock shadow along cheeks, jaw and chin. My heart pounded in my chest with an intensity I hadn’t felt in a while and I thought for a moment he would kiss me. I didn’t need our lips to touch one another but perhaps it would soothe the ache building between my legs.

However, he suddenly let me go and quietly walked to the bathroom before he closed the door behind himself.

I forced a breath I didn’t realize I was holding inside of me and sighed with relief. That was a bit too close for comfort and I found myself dismayed and disconcerted I was falling for yet another man when I had only ended an intense relationship a month previously.

What the hell was going on with me? Was I trying to make up for lost timing and all the affairs I should have had during my early twenties and hadn’t? It was confusing to me because weren’t emotions supposed to be simple and less complex?

I wasn’t in love, I knew that much, but all this insta-lust and attraction for another while I was still mourning the loss between Colin and I was starting to become too much. I needed to take it down a notch and stop acting like a foolish little college girl who’d only been on a handful of dates. I was a full grown woman and I needed to start acting like one.

I decided then and there I wouldn’t chase after Drake anymore no matter how tempting he made himself to me. If he wanted me, he would have to come and get me.

Ensenada was a revelation unto itself. A tourist destination, it was located less than two hours by car from La Jolla but from the time we crossed the border into Mexico, and specifically, Baja California, there was no doubt we were no longer in the States. From the easy Spanish we heard as we walked around to the myriad of activities we could partake in to the plethora of restaurants we could dine at in absolute leisure, the place was absolutely amazing.

I didn’t feel overdressed at all because Drake had decided to go all Abercrombie and Fitch on me with his choice of clothing but much more expensive. He wore a pair of silk tan slacks and a white silk shirt with ease courtesy of Armani with a pair of tan Prada loafers which made him resemble the preppy guy he truly was underneath his resonance of being a bad boy. He and Drew were cousins and they did come from a political family after all.

He could dress himself down and slap on a couple of tats but it didn’t change who he was: a gentleman from an old American family who had been around wealth and privilege his whole life. In fact, his new persona in Ensenada fit him a lot better than the easy-going chef he tried to perfect with ease. There was no denying who he truly was and no matter how far he ran, he couldn’t escape the real him and we both knew it.