Only Love (34 page)

Chambers pulled out his phone at the sound of a text message. Grinning, he put his phone away, and then stood. “It’s been fun, guys, but duty calls. The little woman actually wants me home for some of Christmas Eve.”

Checking my watch, I realized how late it actually had gotten. Aubrey had most likely put Rissa to bed already and turned in herself. I’d have to make it up to them both with a big Christmas breakfast.

Chambers grabbed his bag and closed his locker, nudging Don with it on his way out. “Make sure you both check out the tree in the break room. White elephant exchange, you know. Gotta pick up your gifts.”

I’d nearly forgotten about that. We both said we would and I quickly got the rest of my street clothes on by slipping on my t-shirt over my white tank top. Rooting around in my locker, I grabbed my jacket and gloves, noticing the clear tension that coated the room now that it was just my partner and myself here. Don and I didn’t spend any unnecessary time together these days. It wasn’t intentional on my part, it just happened. Besides work, well, I felt we didn’t have anything in common anymore, nothing that connected us. Car rides were pretty dull, silent. We worked with each other and didn’t really talk about anything outside of that. It felt like we were both walking on eggshells these days and that seemed warranted with some of our previous conversations about the new life I had with Aubrey and Rissa. Playing nice was just easier. Neither one of us calling attention to anything outside of work.

I was almost out of the locker room when a familiar word caused me to stop.

“Kid?”

Turning, I faced my partner, wondering why he stopped me, but even more why he just stood there, seeming at odds with what to say next. I almost thought I was just hearing things, that he didn’t actually call me, call me
that
. Kid. In a way, the word was an understanding between us. Him the old man, and me, well, his kid.

Awkwardly, I stood there before him, not knowing whether to ask him if he called me or to just leave, but then things suddenly didn’t seem so awkward anymore. Things lightened up, they lightened up when he smiled at me.

Coming forward, he placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing. He then said something, surprising me with the very words. “Merry Christmas,” he said, “To you and yours.”

And in that moment, it felt like something changed between us, the previous vibe that rested between the pair of us turned on its head somehow. Things had been tense for
months
between Don and myself. Something both of us had been completely aware of since that first day he met Aubrey. Saying my tolerance for him had been hanging by a thread was an understatement, which saddened me greatly. Don hadn’t only been a mentor as my partner of eight-plus years, but also, dare I say, the father figure I never had; the only likes of which I’d lost to booze and abandonment in my own biological father. Choosing to distance myself from my partner had been hard, but in that moment, the heavy silence between us after what he said, I felt like I got back some of what we used to have, and that was friendship, the friend who’d always been there through the good and bad of my addiction, the one who always had my respect.

I gripped his hand, which he accepted, shaking it tightly, and I also gave him something else.

A smile.

“You too, old man,” I said to him, dropping his hand. “You too.”

His lips lifted in my direction. “Just try not to spoil her your first Christmas together. The little girl? They always walk all over you after that.”

Don had a couple kids of his own. Both adopted. The girls were in college now, but when they first came to him and his wife Sharon, I could imagine he knew exactly what he was talking about, muddling through a first Christmas with a newly formed family. I nodded in thanks. “I know. I’ve been through this before.”

Though a different situation. I hoped to not have too much trouble. Then again, I’d be happy with whatever came, grateful for whatever came.

He acknowledged that with a grin. “So you have.”

After tipping his head to me, he went back to his locker. I had the opportunity to leave in that moment, but asked him if he wanted to go to the Christmas tree together and get our white elephant gifts like Chambers suggested we do before we go. Don slipped his workbag over his shoulder, saying, “Sure” behind his gray beard.

We walked out of the locker room together, chatting just like old times on the road, the times before cases and awkwardness. Just a kid and his old man. We were so in tuned to our conversation that we both jumped about fifty feet when we were assaulted from the front by high pitched “Congratulations!” and the happy faces of co-workers I think we both believed had gone home for the holidays. The old man actually grabbed his heart, so I knew it wasn’t just me who’d been taken by surprise.

The set up before us blew my mind. A good quarter of the staff was here, even our chief, Greg Nichols, and though there was the standard Christmas tree and gifts that had been there for the last month, there was a banner behind all the officers that read:
Congratulations
, the phrase also scrolled on a decorated cake in the middle of the room, except a word was added. It said:
Congratulations, Don
.

Don saw what I had, eyeing the cake before eyeing me. “What’s this about, kid?”

I raised my hands. “Beats me. They didn’t tell me about this.”

“Just found out myself, guys.” Chambers made his way over to us, grinning. He shook both our hands. “Chief sent me a text,” he said, waving his phone our way. “Why do you think I told you to stop by the break room?”

“Chief just found out not too long ago,” Chief Nichols said, referring to himself. Smiling, he shook Don’s hand, then mine in greeting. The man had worked at this precinct for over thirty-years and was responsible for the reason I was still able to do my job. I’d messed up pretty bad when I was struggling, but when I requested admittance to the program that allowed officers to live in low-income neighborhoods I was given a chance to make amends for my behavior. Chief Nichols gave me that chance, and I discovered something else at the realization. I had Aubrey and her girls because of him too.

“Had to scrounge up what riffraff I could for this party,” Chief Nichols continued, joking in reference to my colleagues. “Congratulations, my friend.”

Don and I both exchanged a glance waiting to be let in on the secret. Chief Nichols simply smiled. “It’s over, Don. Finally over. The verdict of the Lopez case was just announced this evening, and I’m pleased to let you know you can rest easy. Not that there was ever any doubt, but IA always makes things tense for everybody. Even when it’s unwarranted.”

Don’s eyes shifted, thought behind his eyes. “You mean…”

The Chief nodded. “You can enjoy your holiday. The case has officially been closed, and not to be open again from what I hear. All parties are pleased with the outcome. No more Internal Affairs, and no more questioning my men or their dignity. We’re no longer under fire. The slate wiped clean.”

Now Don was well over fifty years old, but with the boisterous, “Woohoo!” he let out, pumping his fist in the air once, he had nothing on any guy half his age. He was surrounded by hugs and back pats, and even more acknowledgements of congratulations. A couple firm shakes went my way, and I took them with spinning thoughts. Thoughts of a deep gratitude that this was finally over, thoughts of relief, but even still with all those thoughts of appreciation I still had more. This was over for us here, in our own precinct with our own men, but… what about the other parties involved? Manuel Lopez and his family?

Don was pushed a cold drink, and I escaped to follow Chief Nichols who had gone to the cooler to get his own drink, a soda. He shook my hand again upon seeing me.

“A victory for you as well, Holloway, eh?” he said chugging his can of cola back. “I’m sure you’re at ease now that your partner has nothing to worry about.”

“Yes, sir,” I agreed. “I can’t help wondering about something you said, though. You said all parties were happy with the outcome?”

“Mmmhmm. That nosey representative gave us a run, didn’t he? Can’t get our men down, though. Can’t get our men. Turns out he urged further investigation. Why, I don’t know. The kid robbed a place and looking into Don wouldn’t have changed that. Anyway, why I said that was a win for everyone was because Lopez’s sentence has been reduced. Seems the judge felt the punishment was harsher than it should have been.

The kid wasn’t even armed. Just the other one who Don took down, so I can see why the judge had a change of heart. Representative Garcia fought for that. Lopez will be released in the next few years as long as he continues to exhibit good behavior. The kid’s family is ecstatic. Hell, the whole community is, which was why I said this was a win-win for everyone. Don can rest easy, and now, so can the boy’s family.”

Unexpected, I felt a similar relief. That was good news. Before, Lopez had a twenty year sentence; going in a boy and coming out a man. True, Lopez would never be able to get back the lost time, but now, maybe he’d have a chance for a future, a good long one. Chief Nichols seemed as if he’d go but I got his attention. “So why do you think Representative Garcia went after Don then? You said looking into him wouldn’t have affected anything.”

The Chief shrugged his shoulders, thinking with his soda in his hand. “Perhaps the other boy’s family wanted that, the one who died, Lopez’s cousin. But you can’t look into something that isn’t there to begin with.”

I thought about that. I guess one couldn’t, could they? If Don was innocent, there would be no point in looking into his actions any further. Don was innocent. He was.

My boss and police chief placed his hand on my shoulder, smiling. “Hopefully, the Ruiz Family will have some peace now that this is over. Right, Holloway? Anyway, Happy Holidays.”

He had no idea how much I wished that. I wished him the same, and then joined the rest of the party alongside him.

The room dark, I stepped lightly into Aubrey’s apartment, hanging my keys on the coat hook by the door. Winter chilled my bones, but upon crossing the threshold of Aubrey’s place the cold subsided. Perhaps that was part the temperature of the room and also part being home.

Smiling at the thought, I slid my coat off, leaving my damp boots by the door next. I kept my steps silent, as the apartment was quiet. I didn’t want to wake the girls, but I kind of hoped they were still up. Especially when I heard soft voices coming from Aubrey’s room. I got there, and though disappointed that the voices I heard were nothing but the television, I couldn’t be upset. I found my girls there
.

My girls.
Shaking my head, blissful at the thought, I entered the room. Aubrey slept soundly on her back, Rissa breathing lightly on top of her, asleep on her mom’s stomach. The pair lay in front of a
Peanuts
cartoon playing on TV, the holiday one with Snoopy and friends. I could only stare at them at first, thinking how lucky I was. Lucky that I was here and that this was my life. I’d spent many Christmases either alone or with my moms when they’d manage to break me down, not letting me do so that year. But if I had to spend that time alone to wait for this, what was here now in front of me, I’d gladly spend many more Christmases by myself. So many more.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I touched Aubrey’s arm, her dark eyes a welcome sight as she fluttered them open at me.

“Hmm. Hey,” she said sleep drunk. Aubrey slept heavy. She probably wouldn’t remember most of this conversation.

Knowing that, I bent down, slipping my hands under Rissa’s arms, lifting her off her mother.

“Oh. I can put her down.” Aubrey said that, but even still, she was turning away from me, falling asleep on her pillow.

I had her daughter on my chest and she released a cute little yawn as I placed her there. Settling my hand on her head, I bent down and kissed her sleepy mom before rising up. Aubrey didn’t even stir as I left the room.

I went across the hall to Rissa’s room. Aubrey already had her in her Onesie, so all I had to do was lay her down. Before I did, I gave her a goodnight kiss too on her cheek, again counting my blessings at the small one in my hands. How I was given such a gift I didn’t know but I wouldn’t question the universe. I wouldn’t question it anymore.

I placed her down, resting my hand on her back for just a moment before leaving her and going to her nightlight. She always cried if we forgot to turn it on.

Bending down by the outlet, I flicked it on, casting the dark room in twinkling stars. The light created pretty designs on her ceiling for her to watch at night, watch in case she got scared or lonely. I rose up, heading to the door.

“Daddy?”

I didn’t think I heard the word at first. I didn’t, which was why I didn’t stop. I continued to the door, but when I heard that word again, that wonderful word, I nearly lost the ability to breath. I hadn’t heard that word for a long time. I hadn’t heard it since I lost Abby.

“Daddy?” came the word again and I turned around, seeing the face of the one who said it, the sleepy face who stood in her crib, rubbing a fist over her eye.