NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (25 page)

Wait.
He’s grabbing his coat.

“Come on, son. Let’s get some sweet tea and some of your favorite pie while you explain to me what she needs and I’ll do my best.”

I don’t fight the smile or the pride I feel for a father I thought I’d never feel anything other than hate or longing for. Dad smiles and I really want to hug him; not for me, but for Blue. “Thanks, Dad.”

Nodding he ushers us out and, for the first time since I found out Frankenstein is taking over my girlfriend, I feel I might actually be able to help her and it’s invigorating.

***

Lunch with Dad went better than I could ever have hoped for and things are looking better ― hopeful even. I don’t know how Blue will react, but it’s for the best.

It means I’ll be giving up our freedom; I’ll give up our nights and I would do it forever if it means she gets what she needs.

“Vaun, sugar, are you okay?” Winnie breaks through my thoughts and I almost drop the two crates of tea that needs to go in the Haystack’s cool room.

“What?”

She frowns and all her sun-kissed skin produce lines I rarely see. “You look worried and a little lost.” Her thumb pushes some hair from my face which is all sweaty. I’ll have to go home and shower before I go get Blue.

She sighs, and I can feel it coming. The warning that is well meant and, yet, unneeded. I know the odds. I know what it will do to me if it goes to hell. Blue and I are going to fight this together and even though Harper and Winnie believe in God and his miracles, I don’t. I stopped believing in him long ago when he stopped believing in me, my life and my happiness.

“I’m worried about ya. We’re all worried about what ya doing with this gal.”

“I love her, Winnie. I’ll do anything for her. What’s wrong with that?” I place the crate on the trestle and wipe the sweat from my face with the shoulder of my tee. I can feel the agitation in me firing up and I don’t want Winnie to wear it, but she needs to get it that I’m not backing down just because I’m scared to death of … well, death.

“I know ya love her, sugar and, I know ya gonna be there for the gal, but death is chasing her. I’m scared of what will happen to
you
if he catches up.”

“Jesus ―”

“Don’t go takin’ his name in vain. Ya Mamma and I brought you up better than that.”

My head and eyes drop, ashamed that I disrespected her when all she cares about is my welfare. “Sorry.”

Her fingers clasp my chin and lift it. She only has to lift it a little cause she’s tiny in comparison, smaller then Blue even. “Sweet pea, you’re hurting. We can all see it, but what I’m trying to say is that
you
need to see it. To acknowledge it so you can take care of it. If ya don’t do this it’ll eat at ya like rust. Understand?”

I understand and I nod. She wants me to own my feelings instead of hiding them away in hopes to never feel them again. I tried that. Mom gave this lecture before, but I never quite understood it until now. If I don’t allow myself to feel and acknowledge what might be, the hell of it all could just swallow me up into its darkness forever.

“I love her,” I choke. I feel like a complete pussy crying when there are folks busily getting shit together for the celebration around us. Winnie has seen me cry and I think it might just be as medicinal for me as it is for her to see me feel it, despite our public location.

Her tiny arms wrap around me tightly and, as small as she is, she holds a hell of a lot of love and heat. I suspect it’s the southern nature of hers because I know no one like her. I hold back from hugging her with the same zeal in fear of breaking her small frame, but it’s a wonderful feeling to be loved and cared about. So much is happening and has happened in my life and Winnie has been there hugging it out with me. Quite honestly, I owe her my life.

She pulls from me and looks up into my cloudy eyes as I use my tee to wipe my face again. “Sugar. My daddy used to tell me a man never cries.” She wipes the remnants of the wetness from my hot cheeks and smiles. “That is ‘til ya’ll have something meaningful to cry about.”

I smile. “Your daddy was a wise man.”

“He was. He was also a jackass.” She slaps my cheek playfully and wonders off toward Mrs. Abernathy. As I watch her, grinning, I see an old woman who’s seen and experienced a lot in her lifetime. I can just imagine what a jackass her daddy was back in the day.

I shake my head and grab the crate again. It should be my last delivery for tonight’s function and then I can go shower and pick up Blue and Benny. I’m actually looking forward to this weekend with them. We all need a bit of fun.

Mayor Jackson sees me and heads in my direction as I step into the Haystack’s cooler and place the crate down by the other nine I have already hauled there. It’s so cool in here, so refreshing, but I can hear Mayor Jackson call for me from the shop front, by the ice cream cabinet.

              This cannot be good. The last time I saw him he berated me for having a party at the back of Kramer’s corn field. The bonfire got hit by a gust of wind and burned part of the field down. Old man Kramer was always a shade of red, from too much sun and too many drinks. I didn’t think he could get any redder but, I dare say, he was on fire that night. He was so angry that we could be insensitive enough to burn down a man’s livelihood for a teenage party. His son, Junior, copped most of the fall and I felt for him. I’ve been there plenty of times. And because of that, I told old man Kramer and Mister Jackson, mayor of Albany, Missouri, to relax and that it was an accident.

              Let’s just say I haven’t been in their good books since.

I close the cooler door and find Mayor Jackson smiling at me. I damn near keel over. That man has never smiled my way; the closest thing to a smile was his pity smile across from Mom’s coffin. His smile is normally so plastic when directed my way but today, dare I think, it looks genuine.

“Vaun, I’m glad I caught up with you. I have been speaking with your father and he has proposed an idea that I think the community will agree to and your gal’s family will appreciate.”

My heart’s racing at the mention of my dad and Blue in the same sentence and spoken from a man who’s mostly a stranger to me. “What would that be, sir?”

He chuckles and puts his hand out. “Come on, son. Let’s have a tea and a chat.”

Jesus Christ, I’m about to have tea with the Mayor and, even though he is merely a man, I never thought someone like him would care to sit and have a drink with the likes of someone like me. “Yes sir.”

He chuckles again and shakes his head. “Enough of the sir business. Call me Samuel.”

It still makes me laugh inside to hear our mayor’s name is Samuel Jackson. I fear to know his middle name in case it starts with an L, ‘cause if one person calls him Samuel L Jackson, just once, I think I’ll piss my pants.

Today, however I follow him to the seat in the corner where, Max brings us both an sweet tea and Mayor Samuel Jackson begins to tell me his proposal.

By the time we have finished our drinks, I realize what great men both he and my father are for them to do this for me ― for Blue. She may hate me after, she may be embarrassed since she likes hiding in a crowd, but I will always do what is best for her and Benny.

I shake his hand and, for the first time in a long time, feel the love of a community behind me. Maybe they always were and I never let them in, I don’t know. What I know now is I’m not alone and, most importantly, Blue’s family isn’t alone either. They may have started feeling that way coming into my hick town, but now they’ll feel they belong, which I know is something Blue has wanted for a very long time.

I didn’t know I could be more excited than I always am to see Blue, but as I park my truck in her yard I’m buzzing. I have so many secrets, good secrets, that will all come about tomorrow. Today, though, is time to relax, eat, drink sweet tea, and feel a part of something bigger. I don’t even get to the front door when Benny bounds out hooting like a cowboy. It’s mighty cute and my heart grows. Then Blue steps out into the sun in her denim shorts, black tank with some band on it and
Converse
shoes, her hair loose and glowing in the sun.

She asked what she should wear so that she doesn’t stand out and I told her to dress down. I guess this is her comfy shit which is very cute and very hot. She couldn’t look any more ‘city kid’ right now and I suddenly realize there is one thing I can give her to change that.

“Come on, I need to make a stop before we hit the square.”

Benny jumps into my truck while Blue seems to slow her pace considerably, giving me a cheeky smirk. “Cute.”

She laughs and saunters past me, eyeing me out the corner of her eye.

Right, you wanna play? I spin on my feet and leap toward her just as she squeals and bolts for the truck. But I’m faster. I was a running back; this is what I do best. She doesn’t even come in arm’s length of the truck when I loop my arm around her waist and spin her off her feet, her squeals and laughter filling my heart and the air along with my own laughter.

I love her laughter. I love her body against my own, her hair in my face. She smells of fruit and I can’t help being a weirdo and breathes her in. She calms against me and I can tell she feels the change between us; like static electricity. We haven’t had sex since that first night and I can feel the need in me growing against her body. Frack me. I can’t walk around with a freaking hard on, so I kiss her head and push her from me. “Get in the truck before I drag you inside, not caring a shit that your little brother is sitting in the truck waiting for us.”

She gasps just a little and hesitates before lowering her eyes and heading for the truck. I probably wouldn’t have done it, especially leaving Benny out here but, damn it, I was close to giving into a temptation. My body starts to settle with the reality of Benny’s presence and I concentrate on what they need from me instead of my own possessive desires. I’m starting to think I’m a little less of an asshole everyday I’m with her.

Harper Kennedy doesn’t know it, but
she
is saving
me
.

***

We pull into the MFA and both Benny and Blue give me that questioning look. “Come on then. We have a little shopping to do before you can become a redneck like me.”

Blue laughs once. “Do we really want to become a redneck like you?”

“I do,” Ben says excitedly from between me and his sister and I hold my fist out for him to punch with his own. He does and then I ruffle his hair.

“So does she, bud, she just doesn’t want to admit it because girls like playing hard to get. The ones who don’t, you should probably stay a clear mile from.”

Blue gasps and puts her hands over her brother’s ears while he struggles against them. “Don’t talk like that with him. He’s ten.”

“Exactly,” I say, “he’s looking at girls and needs to know how to pick ‘em.”

“No,” she replies shaking her head.

“I have a girlfriend,” Ben calls finally pushing his sister’s hands from his head. “I’m not eight or something.”

“What do you mean you have a girlfriend, Benny?” Harper is shrieking and I can’t help but chuckle, receiving the dagger eyes.

“She asked me out on my third day of school and I said yes. She sits with me at lunch.”

“Oh my God. Does Dad know?”

He sighs and I instantly know why, as does Blue apparently, because she apologizes and takes a deep breath.

              “I know you’re getting older, Benny. It was just a shock.”

              “The shocker is I had a girlfriend before you started dating Vaun,” Benny sings.

              I can’t help the laughter that bellows from my chest and mouth. I don’t care how many daggers are glared my way. That shit was funny.

              “Come on, you guys.” I urge, opening the door to the truck and stepping out. “Peters will close soon ‘cause he’ll want to go to the cookout. Get out of this truck or you’ll miss out.”

              Blue mumbles something I don’t catch, but Ben giggles and dismounts from the other side of the cab, meeting me round the front.

              I take Blue’s hand and she smiles, eyeing the storefront and then back at me. She wants to ask, I can see it. She wants to know so desperately and can see my excitement which only intrigues her more. Benny is through the front door and I catch it before it closes. He is ‘
Oh boying’
over everything, the whips, tools, saddles and then he finds the rack of hats and grabs a big, black Stetson and pops on his head.

              “Harper. Vaun. Look.”

              We both laugh and I grab a smaller one from the top shelf and replace it on his head. “That’s much better.”

              “I want one,” he coos and I know they can’t afford one, but this is my treat.

              “It’s yours.”

              Harper licks and bites her lip and I stroke it with my thumb, shaking my head. She stops because she knows how it makes me feel. She is nervous over my gift, but I was a small boy once and all I wanted was a cowboy hat just like that.

              “My treat,” I confirm. “And then you can come out to the nursery and help me out. I’ll even teach you how to operate the tractor.”

              “Really?”

              “Really. And later I’ll take you to the tractor pull if ya want. It’s a big thing here.”

              “Really?”

              I chuckle over his excitement and lack of vocabulary. “Yeah, bud. Really.”

              “Harper. I’m going to learn how to drive a tractor and go to the tractor pull and I’m going to help Vaun.”

              She hugs him and I can see the haze over her eyes. It hurts even though they are tears of joy. “How exciting. You look like a true cowboy, too. I like it better than that thug look you were heading toward back in Seattle.”

              “Me too,” Ben replies as he looks at himself in the mirror, tipping his hat and smiling. I’m so glad I decided to do this. I’m even happier that she got something out of his present and about to get her own.

              “Your turn,” I say, taking her hand.