Mixed Blessings (12 page)

"Any complaints? Lumps, bumps, funny pains, unusual bleeding?" he asked once the exam was over, but Diana shook her head, looking unhappy. She had had her period again the week before, so she knew that once again, she hadn't gotten pregnant.

"My only complaint is that we've been trying to get pregnant for eleven months, and so far, nothing's happened."

"Maybe you're trying too hard," he said, echoing what her sisters had said. Everyone who knew said stupid things like "don't think about it," "you're trying too hard," "just forget about it," "stop worrying,"

but they didn't know the anguish and the grief and the disappointment it caused each month when she discovered they hadn't succeeded. She was twentyeight years old, she'd been married for almost a year, she had a husband she loved, a job she enjoyed, and now she wanted a baby.

"A year isn't such a long time," the doctor said reassuringly.

"It seems like a long time to me," she said, smiling wistfully.

"What about your husband? Is he worried about it too?"

Maybe he knew something about the problem that Diana didn't. Sometimes men were loath to admit to their mates that they'd had problems in the past, or acute venereal diseases, which might make a difference.

"He keeps saying not to worry about it, that it'll happen sooner or later."

"Maybe he's right." Dr. Jones smiled. "What kind of work does he do?" He wondered if there were chemicals involved, or toxins that might inadvertently affect him.

"He's an attorney for a network." She told him which one, and the doctor looked impressed.

"And you work for a magazine, don't you?" She nodded.

"Those are both pretty stressful jobs, that could be part of it. But I do want you to understand that eleven months is not an abnormally long time. Most couples get pregnant after a year, but some people take a little longer. What about a vacation one of these days? That might be just what you need."

Diana smiled. "We're leaving for Europe in a week. We planned it just right. Maybe that will do the trick," she said hopefully, and he saw the anxiety on her face, and decided to listen to it.

"I'll tell you what. If you don't find you're pregnant when you get back, we can start checking into things. I can run a few tests, or I can send you to a specialist, whichever you prefer. There's one man I always feel comfortable recommending. He's reasonable and conservative, but he's also very sharp, and extremely thorough. His name is Alexander Johnston, I'm sure your brother-in-law knows him. He's a little older than we are, but he really knows his stuff, and he won't recommend a lot of unnecessary procedures."

"I'd really like to do that," Diana said, feeling hopeful again.

Maybe they would get pregnant in Europe, but if they didn't, there was hope. There was someone they could go to.

She thanked the doctor for his encouragement, and went back to work, and that night she tried to tell Andy about it. She mentioned the name of the specialist and told him she'd ask Jack what he thought of him, but Andy surprised her by snapping at her. He was swamped at work, and he'd had a very hard day at the office, and he was getting tired of her pressing him about making love on certain dates, at certain times, and then having hysterics when she got her period and discovered she wasn't pregnant. They were both healthy and young and came from big families, and it was obvious to him that it was going to work eventually, and they'd have plenty of children.

But harping at him about it and crying all the time certainly didn't help the situation.

"For chrissake, Di, give me a break. We don't need a goddamn specialist, we just need some time off to relax. Stop pushing!"

"I'm sorry Tears filled her eyes as she looked away from him, he didn't understand how worried she was, or how afraid that something really was wrong. "I just thought . . . I thought the specialist might help......She was crying as she left the room, and he came to find her a few minutes later.

"Come on, baby . . . I'm sorry. I'm just so damn tired and stressed out. I've had a shitload of headaches at work for the past few weeks. We'll have a baby, don't worry about it." But her persistence annoyed him sometimes. She was so determined to have a child. Sometimes he felt as though it was the only real goal she'd ever had, or maybe she was just competing with her sisters.

"The doctor thought that maybe on vacation . . ." She looked at him apologetically, not wanting to annoy him. And Andy sighed at her and took her in his arms.

"The doctor's right. A vacation is just what we need. Now, promise me you won't worry about this for a while. I'll bet he also told you that nothing that's happened so far is abnormal."

She smiled sheepishly at her husband and nodded. "Yes, he did."

"All right then," he said firmly, and then kissed her.

And when they went to bed that night, Diana seemed a little calmer on the subject. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe she was foolish to worry.

She leaned over to kiss Andy good night, but he was already fast asleep, and snoring softly. She looked at him for a long moment, and then lay back on her pillow. It was odd how wanting a baby this much sometimes made her feel so lonely. It was as though no one ever understood how sharp the yearning was, how great the need, not even Andy.

The trip to Europe went splendidly. They went to Paris and the south of France, and then they flew to London to see Andy's brother. And as closely as Diana could figure it, if she'd gotten pregnant, it would have been at the Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo. The skies had been blue, the hotel was divine, and Andy said he couldn't think of a better place to make a baby.

They enjoyed seeing Nick in London, too, and the rest of the trip was easy and fun, and just what the young couple needed.

Neither of them had realized how tense and exhausted they were until they got away from the pressures of L.A. and rediscovered how wonderful it was spending time with each other and relaxing. They went to restaurants and museums and churches, lay on beaches, and even spent a weekend fishing in Scotland with Nick and his girlfriend. When they got back to L.A. in June, they both felt like new people.

Andy went off to his first day of work with a smile, and Diana cheated and took an extra day off to unpack their things and recover from the trip and get her hair done. It was Friday anyway, and she figured that if the magazine had lived without her for this long, they could manage until Monday morning.

She wasn't anxious to get back into the hysterics of publishing and she tried to talk Andy into staying home with her, too, but he really felt he had to get back, although he was sorry to do it.

But they were both looking forward to the weekend.

Andy played tennis on Saturday morning with Bill Bennington, and it was nice to relax and talk about the trip. They had gone to law school together at UCLA, and Andy had gotten him his job at the network. They were good friends, and sometimes he was someone comforting to talk to.

Bill had even been in his wedding.

"How was Nick?" Bill asked as they stopped for something cold to drink after the game.

"Great. He's going out with a cute girl. We spent a weekend with them, fishing in Scotland." Bill had a younger brother, too, the same age as the twins. They had a lot in common. "We really liked her."

She was English, very pretty, and a lot of fun, and Diana thought that Nick was more serious about her than he admitted to his brother.

"I'm going out with a cute girl too," Bill suddenly admitted sheepishly, as he set his drink down.

"Are you telling me something, Bernington?"Andy eyed him with amusement and interest-"or is this just regular news?" He always took out good-looking girls. He had a penchant for models and starlets. He was a good-looking guy too. But most of the time he seemed to be into numbers rather than any one serious attachment.

"I'm not sure yet. She's pretty terrific though. I want you to meet her."

"What does she do, or is that redundant?" Andy grinned, amused by the boyish look of excitement on his friend's face.

"You're not going to believe this-she's an attorney for a rival network. She just got out of law school. She's really an unusual girl."

"Uh oh." Andy couldn't resist teasing him, but he was pleased for his friend. Bill Bennington was one of his closest friends and favorite people. "Sounds like this could be serious."

"You never know." Bennington smiled mysteriously, and the two men walked across the parking lot of the club where they played tennis.

They met every Saturday, as long as they didn't have other plans, and one or two evenings a week, if they weren't tied up at the office. And Bill thought Andy had looked very tense before his trip. He was glad to see him looking so much more relaxed now. "How's my favorite magazine editor, by the way? Still working her tail off?"

"Up until we left. Actually, she took the day off yesterday, which is a good sign. I think she's come back relaxed and with a better outlook on a lot of things. She was pretty uptight before we left."

"So were you. You were even beginning to make me nervous. I wasn't sure if something was wrong at work, or you were just worried about other things, but you didn't look like a happy camper when you left."

"I don't know." He wasn't sure how much he should tell him about Diana's concerns about getting pregnant. "I guess I was just tired.

Diana was pretty nervous before we left, and I guess I caught the bug from her."

"Nothing serious, I hope."

"No . . . not really . . . she's getting pretty anxious to have a kid, but I think she's premature in getting worried."

"You guys have barely been married a year, haven't you? How long's it been?" He seemed surprised that they were already thinking about having a baby.

"We've been married a year today." Andy smiled at him. "It seems hard to believe, doesn't it?"

"God, I can't believe that. Well, don't start having kids too soon. You won't want to play tennis with me anymore. You'll have to run home and help Di change diapers."

"Now there's an image . . . maybe I'll just tell her to forget it for another y "Why don't you do that? And then maybe we can be pushing swings together in a couple of years."

"What a thought." Andy looked at his friend with a grin as they stood next to Bill's silver Porsche. "It's hard to imagine all that, isn't it? I can still remember my father carrying the twins around, one on each shoulder. Somehow I don't feel ready for that yet. But Diana is. She's really anxious to get started." He didn't want to admit that they'd been hard at it for a year, and nothing had happened.

"Well, don't be in too much of a hurry, big guy, kids are forever."

"I'll tell Diana you said that."

He waved as Bill drove off, and wondered how long the new girlfriend would last, as he drove home to Diana. She was in Great spirits when he got home, and he found her puttering in the garden. She looked up with a grin as he approached, looking handsome and lean in his white tennis shorts, and he stooped to kiss her.

"Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Douglas." There was a Tiffany box concealed in the pocket of his white shorts, and he pulled it out and handed it to her.

"You spoil me." She sat back on her heels and quickly opened the blue, wrapped box, and inside was a beautiful gold ring with a small sapphire in it. It was a handsome ring, and the kind of thing he knew she would wear constantly. She looked up at him, thrilled, as she kissed him.

"I love it!"

"I'm glad." He looked pleased. "I think first anniversary is something like plastic, or paper, or clay, something really great like that. .. . I figured you wouldn't mind if I skipped ahead a few years."

"I'll forgive you this once . . . but next year I want the real thing, like aluminum or copper." She smiled at him, looking suntanned and relaxed in their garden.

"Baby, you got it!" He swept her to her feet, and they went inside and she gave him his present. She had bought a beautiful set of leather luggage for him. He had been admiring it all year and he was stunned when he unwrapped it. They were generous with each other, on holidays and throughout the year. He loved buying her little things for no special reason, and coming home with an armload of flowers for her.

And she did much the same for him. They were both well paid, and they could afford to spoil each other a little.

In fact, Andy had made reservations for them at l'Orangerie for that night, which was extravagant, but he knew it would remind them of Europe. They had eaten at some fabulous restaurants and gone to some wonderful places while they were away, and he thought it would be fun to splurge on their anniversary.

Diana wore a new dress that night when they went out. It was white silk, and very low cut, and she had bought it in London and saved it for this very special occasion.

"Somehow I thought I should wear white again," she teased when he saw her in it for the first time that night.

"I hope that doesn't mean you still think you're a virgin."

"Hardly." She grinned. And they left early to drop in at Seamus's latest opening at the Adamson-Duvannes Galleries.

Diana had promised her sister that they'd stop by on the way to dinner.

They both looked beautiful and tan as they got into Andy's car, and he leaned over to kiss her.

"You look absolutely gorgeous!" he raved appreciatively, and she grinned.

"So do you." She still had the glow she had acquired on their trip, and without saying anything to her, Andy found himself wondering if she was actually pregnant.

She was wearing her new ring, and on the way to the gallery, Andy teased her about taking another trip so he could use his new luggage.

It had been an easy day, and they had spent the afternoon in bed, making love, before they dressed for dinner.

So far, it had been the periect anniversary, and driving to Adamson-Duvannes, Andy filled her in on Bill's new girlfriend.

"An attorney?" Diana looked amazed, and then she smiled, thinking of their friend. "Well, that won't last more than ten minutes."

"I'm not so sure." Andy shook his head, thinking about what Bill had told him. "He seems pretty smitten."