Authors: Tracy Cottingham
“Regular will do us just fine,” Cassie was beginning to wonder how complicated
it could possibly be.
“Small, medium, or large?”
Cassie looked down at Abby and winked. “Small?” She forced a smile,
figuring if the girl found one more question to ask she would just lose it, and
the whole world would end up reading about some psycho mom who strangled a
sweet, young ice cream girl at Disneyland over a small, yellow wafer, ice cream
cone.
“Here you go,” The girl handed the cone over with a similar smile of her own.
Cassie couldn’t believe it, she had finally managed to get her hands on some
chocolate, something she’d been craving for the last two days. “Be
careful,” she handed Abby her cone, and bent forward to take the first bite.
“I see chocolate chip is still your favorite.”
Cassie jumped at the feel of a warm hand on her back. She jumped, and her
scoop of ice cream flew on to Abby’s shoulder causing her to jump, and toss her
scoop of vanilla on to the top of one of Gunnar’s boot. “Oh my God,”
Cassie fumbled with the mess on Abby’s shirt, trying to make it better, but
only succeeding in rubbing it in even farther. Abby was balling again,
her hands were shaking, and she stared in disbelief at the empty cone she still
held in her hand before looking up at Gunnar.
“I know I have a certain effect on women,” he shook his head. “But I
never knew it could be so...dangerous.” He offered up a smile that spread
slowly across his face, lit up his beautiful brown eyes, and sent her pulse
racing even faster. When she looked at him she remembered last night, and
then she remembered his harsh words when he’d learned about Abigail. His
words echoed, his kisses flashed before her, and the movement of his hands
across her body played over and over.
Abby’s screaming brought her back to reality, and sent her into action.
“Don’t worry honey, it’ll come out.” She knelt down beside her daughter
and spoke about a dozen calming gestures as fast as her mouth could move.
Gunnar knelt down too, gently brushing up against Cassie’s leg. She
looked at his lips and saw his mouth hot on hers, his body deep inside...
“How about I make it up to you two and get you a double scoop this time?”
He picked Abby up so she could peek into the different containers, and
instantly, she stopped crying, an absence of sound that calmed what was left of
Cassie’s frayed nerves.
“Why don’t you go grab a seat, I think I can take care of this.”
“I don’t know, you don’t know her very well,” Cassie pointed to the girl behind
the counter, before taking Abby and heading back to the bathroom so they could
get cleaned up.
She waited for Abby to finish and splashed some cold water on her face.
He
came.
She tried to stifle any hopes that this would lead to something more
meaningful, but she couldn’t help but feel a little optimistic, until she
looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Somehow, she was more aware of
every single line, each small imperfection. It was ironic really, all the
years he’d chased her, making sure she knew just how perfect he thought she
was, and now that she had finally let him into her life, he was the one looking
better than ever, and she always managed to look like an old hag every time he
was around.
“Why are you looking at yourself, mommy?”
Cassie motioned for Abby to wash her hands. “Oh I don’t know,” she said
as she pulled the towel from the dispenser and passed it along. “I was
hoping if I looked at it long enough it would show me some mercy, and take me
back a few hundred years that’s all.” She caught her daughters’ you’re a
dork look that was specifically designed just for her, and led her out the
door. “You just wait, it’ll all make sense someday.”
“I thought you two got lost, or fell in or something.”
Abby squealed in delight as she saw the table, full of about three different
types of ice cream treats. One of the dishes was exactly what he had promised
Abby, then a hot fudge Sunday, and last but not least, a banana split.
“I just love ice cream, don’t you,” Gunnar flashed Abby a relaxed, teasing
grin.
“Yeah,” Cassie mimicked his style. “I guess we just never knew how much,
eh?” She gestured to all of the different choices and sat down.
“Oh I love it,” Abby agreed offhandedly, not really speaking to either of them
as she dove face first into her ice cream. Cassie would have thought she
had disappeared completely if it weren’t for the adoring looks she flashed
Gunnar from time to time as she took a bite.
Cassie had to work real hard to keep that same look off her face, and nearly
jumped off the table when his hand purposely lingered a little longer than
necessary when handing her a spoon.
“So, where are we off to next?” He asked, aware that he was inviting
himself along, but knowing he wasn’t about to be left behind either.
“Are you sure?” Cassie couldn’t let so many things go unanswered.
She couldn’t forget their earlier conversation, and had to be sure this wasn’t
just a game for him. She was one thing, but letting her daughter get
close to him was an issue she still wasn’t clear about.
Gunnar took his time before replying. “I thought about things, and
this time,” his eyes scolded her about getting too cocky, “you were right.”
He finished the sentence as if it caused him great pain.
“Well, if you’re willing to concede to my greatness, I guess you can come along
with us.”
He picked up a huge bite of hot
fudge that threatened to fall into her lap if she didn’t open her mouth quickly
enough to take it from him. “I like that much better,” He licked his
lips, and finished what she had left on the spoon, “Now, where to?”
Abby leaned forward and tried to whisper. “I’m glad you’re coming,
‘because mommy hates all the good rides.”
“I do not,” Cassie was too busy getting defensive to deal with her
eavesdropping. “I just don’t really care for anything that goes,
well, anything that goes,” she threw her hands up in defeat, getting more
irritated by the minute as her child and Gunnar sat side by side, nodding in
agreement. “Traitors,” she mumbled, and turned away, acting like she
wasn’t interested in talking anymore. She played that game with Abby all
the time and it never failed to get her a kiss and a hug in the end. Only
today, everything seemed to be turning out differently than she expected.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She called over her shoulder when she
turned to find both seats empty.
Gunnar stopped a few yards away and turned back around. “Abby has
informed me that after all these years, you’ve let your fear of flying keep
this poor child off the best ride in this whole place.” He held his hands
out to the sides and called out. “I explained to her quite clearly that
if she hasn’t been on Dumbo, up in the air with the wind in her face, she
hasn’t lived.”
“I am not afraid,” she snapped, hiding her crossed fingers behind her
back. In her head she saw her husband’s plane fall out of the sky, and
then looked over to the multi colored flying elephants Gunnar was leading Abby
towards. She forced her hands to relax, and forced such painful images
from her mind. A ride at Disneyland was nowhere near as dangerous as the
real thing, she pepped herself mentally, and she couldn’t handicap her daughter
because of her irrational fears. “Wind in the face,” she snorted, “what a
load of crap,” she said to herself, and then decided she better say something out
loud before they took off on their own.
They were holding hands now and getting farther and farther away. “Well
wait for me! You can’t possibly leave me here with all this ice cream,
I’m liable to be five hundred pounds by the time you get back.” She
laughed as they stopped in their tracks and waited for her to catch up.
“Whose daughter are you anyway?” Cassie pretended not to know Abby, but
her little girl was much too fast.
“I’m your daughter mommy,” she announced proudly, and reached for Cassie’s
hand.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why?” Abby giggled, knowing there was a joke coming.
“My daughter gives me lots of hugs and kisses, and doesn’t leave her mother
behind, stranded with big huge monster helpings of ice cream to eat.”
Abby walked in front of her and turned around. She was a vision with her
hands on her hips and her chin lifted high. “I’m your daughter and that’s
that.”
“Are you sure?” Cassie knelt down in front of her and Abby ran into her
open arms. “Now that’s more like it.” Cassie bumped her up on to
her hip, and looked over at Gunner. He was wearing a different look than
she’d seen before. One of longing, and maybe even hopefulness.
“For a moment, you looked like you could almost grow to like these icky family
scenes,” she joked.
“I think maybe I could,” he shot her a look that went straight through her, a
look that dared her to say even one more word.
She wasn’t that bold.
Cassie got comfortable on a bench near the ride, and placed herself in the
perfect place to watch. The ride was only about a minute long, but for
her it lasted a lifetime. She watched Abby’s face light up when she used
the controls to take the pink Dumbo they had chosen up higher, and felt a pang
of tenderness at how hard Gunnar was working to make the experience nothing
short of magical. He seemed so at ease around her little girl, like all
the years they had spent together somehow connected him and Abby as well.
He laughed and looked at her as if he genuinely cared weather she was happy or
not. The realization made Cassie’s already knotted stomach twist a little
tighter.
She must be reading more into the looks he was giving, she finally
decided. Maybe she just wanted so badly for him not to hate her anymore,
she was deluding herself into believing that the one night they’d shared was
enough to erase the damage she’d done when they were younger. What had
happened between them was one of the few things she regretted, and even though
she had been able to move on and marry, she never fully recovered from letting
her fear get in the way and not choosing him when she should have. She
longed for the type of security and comfort his attentions had once provided.
He had been there for her even when she wasn’t always deserving, and if she
could find a way to offer him even a small amount of what he had always given
her, she felt like they would have come full circle, and from that point might
be able to move forward to somewhere they had never been before. She had
experienced such an incredible loss when Ben had died. Most days she
didn’t think she would survive it. But coming here and reconnecting with
Gunnar made her feel hopeful for the first time in a long while that maybe her
life wasn’t over.
Cassie looked at her watch and shook her head. Gunnar and Abby had only
gone on about ten more rides scattered around Fantasy Land and it was already
close to three thirty. She never could have imagined how incredible the
day had turned out. Gunnar and Abby were running all over the place,
racing each other to see who would be first in line on the next ride, and even
managing to pull her onto a few she normally wouldn’t have gone
near. She put her foot down on flying, though. Abby may have loved
the feel of the wind in her face, but Cassie loved the feel of her feet, planted
firmly on the ground. Gunnar had been so loving and attentive, she
couldn’t believe he was the same person who had shut her out for so many
years. When he looked at her now, there was no mistaking his desire,
although with how truly awful she looked, she had no idea why. His moves
had been extremely casual, but the heat of his touch nearly burned her skin.
“Finally, I’ve been looking for you for over an hour.”
Cassie looked up to find John, the only full time employee she and her husband
ever let into the operations of their business. He had his hands on his
hips, pretending to be cross. “Where is your cell phone?” He asked.
Cassie fumbled through her purse and pulled it out. “Well it’s right
here, but it’s not -”
“On, I know,” he finished for her. “For some reason people seem to love the
idea of having a cell phone, but they seldom have it on when they’re needed.
“I’m sorry,” she stood up and gave him a quick hug. “I didn’t realize
when I called you, you’d be able to come down so quickly.”
“Well, it sounded pretty urgent, and when I got your plans for re-designing the
aircraft, I thought I’d better check with you before making the final
arrangements.”
“You’ve already started?” Cassie gulped, believing in her new idea, but
fearing how her partners were going to feel about it.
“It’s pretty much finished as you specified, but I didn’t want to sell off the
equipment we took out until I had your final okay.”
“That’s a good idea,” she complimented his ability to think of everything she
didn’t. “Are you sure you want to stay up in Oregon, I mean, I know you
said you were happy there, but I could always find a place for you here.”
He reached out and took her hands. “I’ll be available any time you need
me, but you know how much I love the Pacific Northwest. I would love my job,
but hate my life if I moved here.”
“Okay, okay, I get the picture.” He had explained himself already when
she first made her move, but she was hoping he’d change his mind once he came
down to help her with her new plan. “Are they treating you well at
McNary’s?” She asked about his new employer.
“Well enough,” he shrugged, “although I don’t think they appreciated my last
minute freelancing for you.”
Cassie winced. “Do you need me to call them, I mean, when I explain what
I’ve done they’re going to know that you are one of the only people in the industry
that could have pulled it off.”
“Oh you flatter me,” he put his hands to his chest and batted his eyes.
“I will say, though, that I should be paid overtime for having to drive in that
wretched traffic to come all the way out to Disneyland of all places to find
you.”
“Agreed,” Cassie laughed and hugged him again. It felt good to see a
familiar face, one that was used to working for her without arguing or making a
big deal of things. Someone that worked for her and her husband before
the big merger, before Gunnar. Just thinking his name made her look
around.
“Hey, where’s the pumpkin head anyway? I can hardly imagine you’re here
by yourself so she must be close by.”
Cassie smiled at the nickname John had reserved for Abby. “She’s with
Gunnar, one of my new partners.”
John looked around and lowered his voice. “Are we still top secret on all
of this?” When Cassie nodded he made a face. “Well then I guess I’m
just an old friend you ran into here, eh?”
“Well at least that won’t be a total lie.” She leaned in close to whisper
in his ear in case Abby and Gunnar showed up unexpectedly. “How about I
meet you back at the hotel at around six thirty. We can go get some
dinner, and you can go over all of the final specs so I don’t make a complete
ass of myself when I show Wes and Gunnar the plane.”
“Sounds good,” he agreed, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before taking
off.
Cassie held her cheek forward, and looked over John’s shoulder at an angry,
downright hostile pair of eyes turned sharply at her.
“Hi,” she offered, looking from Gunnar to Abby. “How was Mr. Toad?”
Gunnar didn’t answer, he just kept looking at John with an, I wish you’d
contract some horrible disease and drop dead, stare. That is until Abby
recognized John and threw herself into his arms, then Cassie was sure Gunnar
was going to drop his wishing and kill him for real.
“Hey pumpkin,” John gave Abby a giant bear hug and sat her on his hip.
“How are ya?” He shook her and bounced her, “I miss getting to see you.”
“Mommy, did you hear that. Johnnie came all the way here to see me.”
“I heard,” Cassie tried to match her exuberance, but she was still dumbfounded
by Gunnar’s foul behavior towards a man he never even met before.
“My name’s John,” John did his best to break the awkward silence and extended a
hand to shake. When he got nothing in return, he turned to Cassie with a
look of unspoken questions. “I’ve got an idea,” he bent over and let Abby
down. “How about we head up to the town square and get some popcorn and
you can tell me how you like your new home. Is that all right with you mom?”
Cassie was grateful for the diversion. “That would be a great idea,” she
breathed a heavy sigh and then added. “I’ll be right behind you.”
John started to give her hand a squeeze goodbye, but thought better of
it. Instead he grabbed
Abby’s hand and the two took off.
“Did I miss something here?” Cassie asked, totally baffled at his glare.
“I just forgot what kind of woman you really are that’s all.” His curt
tone lashed out at her.
Her mind reeled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Drop the act Cassandra,” he sounded genuinely disgusted. I don’t know
how you managed to con me into following you around like some love sick puppy
for the second time in my life, but I’m really tired of the same old
story” His eyes narrowed as he leaned closer. “One man at a time
for you never was enough was it, especially not this one.” He pointed to
himself, emphasizing the full extent of his anger. “Your husband must
have been one poor bastard.”
Cassie played his hurtful words over in her head, rewinding and running them
through again until it hit her. “You think I have something going with
John?” When he didn’t reply she shook her head and looked away.
“This is ridiculous.”
“There’s nothing ridiculous about a man in your life that kisses you when he
sees you, holds your hands, and stares into your eyes as if there’s a wealth of
history between you.” He had to lower his voice to keep from
shouting. “Christ, he just toted your daughter off for you like he was
her step father or something.”
“You really have some nerve,” she was more caught off guard than she cared to
admit. “I admit that I do know John very well, but I assure you he
doesn’t have anything to do with us. At least not what you’re thinking.”
“If he has nothing to do with us then you can tell him that his lame attempt at
coincidentally running into you here didn’t work, and to keep his hands
off of you from now on.”
“I wouldn’t do that if someone held a gun to my head.” She thought she
heard him mumble that it could be arranged, but it wasn’t worthy of a reply so
she let it drop. “His friendship means a lot to Abby, and to me-”
“That sounds familiar,” he cut her off. “Maybe I’ll have to go talk to
the poor guy myself, and set him straight about you.” His voice was cold,
distant. “No one knows better than me what a pathetic excuse the old
friendship line is, eh?” His face was a barely controlled mask of
resentment. “Does he know just how long he’s going to have to wait to get
into your bed?” He laughed bitterly. “It took me over eight years
and according to you I was the best friend you ever had.”
Cassie lunged forward and slapped him square across the jaw. “I don’t
know who suddenly gave you the right to start judging me again, but you are way
off base.” She forced back the tears that threatened to fall. “Not
that it’s any of your business, but John wouldn’t want in my bed if I was the
last woman on Earth.”
“So he catches on faster than I do,” he finished his statement, and grabbed her
wrist when she tried to cuff him a second time.
“You still believe the worst of me don’t you?” Hot tears rolled down her
cheeks as she stared into the same cold expression he seemed to save just for
her. “John would be far more interested in you than me if you weren’t
such a jerk that is.” She struggled to free her hand. “He’s homosexual
you jackass, now let me go.”
The meaning of her words finally
sunk in and his grip loosened, giving her just what she needed to break free
and get as far away from him as possible.