He took my breath away with the proposal, and I fell back against the stool, too stunned to answer right away, even though part of me shouted a resounding, yes! “There’s a chance I’m not immortal you know. We don’t know if I have enough Grace for that.” I felt that needed saying. All that talk about eternity… if it didn’t apply to me, marriage to me might not be anything like the picture he painted.
“Then I’ll share the rest of my Grace to keep you with me forever.” Taking the ring out of the box, he slipped it over my finger while I watched. “Marry me, Mercy. You know I won’t stop bugging you until I get what I want.”
“You don’t have to bug me.” I stared at the glittering jewel on my finger. “Adam, are you sure about this?”
“Say yes. You know you want to.”
“Of course I want to, but…”
“Then… say yes.”
“Yes,” I whispered, dizzy with excitement as he picked me up and swung me around, delivering a sizzling kiss that left me breathless. Already walking me backwards towards the bedroom, I remembered I still had to talk to him about the baby before we got too heavily into it. “What about my pancakes?” I murmured against his lips.
“I’ll make you new ones afterwards.”
“Adam, I think we should talk about…” I never got the rest of it out as he captured my lips in a slow, drugging kiss, making me forget everything but the havoc he played with my body. My Grace kindled to his, enveloping us both with a soft, golden glow as he gave me the rest of my Christmas present.
Only after we both lay in a haze of pleasure, did I gather the strength to bring up the dreaded topic. There wouldn’t be a more perfect moment than when we both lay there, basking in the afterglow. It seemed like a natural segue into the possibilities of the future. Once more he’d been adamant about using protection, and I hadn’t objected. Even though it was a moot point, I hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood.
“Adam?” I ventured, fingertips tracing lightly over the ridges of his abdomen.
“Mmm?” He didn’t move or react beyond the single syllable response.
“Now that we’re talking about getting married…”
“We
are
getting married, not just talking about it. Hell, I’d blow off this Christmas thing in a heartbeat and do it today if you wanted to.”
“Okay, now that we’re getting married,” I tried again. “Maybe we should talk about the future.”
“What’s there to talk about? You move in with me, we get married, cue the happily ever after.”
“Yes, but, after that. After I move in with you and we’re married and settled,” I swallowed, “In the future…”
“I guess you can keep working if that makes you happy, but maybe you could scale it back a little? There are so many things I want to show you, places to go. Do you think Parker would object to a few months off for our honeymoon? I was thinking we could start with Fiji and then…”
I listened to him spin a beautiful, glistening web of dreams where we traveled the world in style and luxury. Reaching the remotest of places, where only our kind could easily go, he truly did want to give me the world. It was up to me to bring him down to Earth, even though I hated bringing reality back into the picture.
“That does sound wonderful,” I admitted, “but do you ever think what would happen if we ended up having a baby? That might put an end to those travel plans for a while, don’t you think?”
“That’s one of the many reasons why we’re not having kids now or ever. I’d rather keep you all to myself. Think of it, Mercy, no responsibilities, no rules. We go where we want, when we want. You’re not worried about the money are you?” He leaned up to kiss the side of my temple. “I told you, I’ve got that covered.”
“Okay, but things don’t always go as planned. What if it happens?”
“We were very careful. As long as we keep being careful, it’s not a problem.”
“Is that what it would be for you if we had a baby? A problem?”
His eyes popped open, brows drawing together into a single dark line. “Mercy, you know it’s not an option. Not now, not ever. I thought you were on board with this.”
“I understand what you’re worried about, really I do. But we both know the circumstances aren’t the same.”
“Are you saying you
want
to have a baby now? Christ, we just got engaged, where is this coming from?”
“No, having a baby now is the last thing I had in mind, but…” God, he was making it sound like I was this clingy girl who wanted an instant family, when that was far from the case. More than anything I wanted that life he’d shown was possible. I wanted to travel the world and not worry about anyone or anything more than spending time with the man I loved. But that wasn’t reality, not anymore.
“Are you worried about bringing protection with us while we’re at the ends of the earth? Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.” Adam leaned up to drop a quick kiss to my cheek. “How about I make you those pancakes?” Sliding out of bed, he looked around for his jeans, tugging them on most of the way while he looked for his t-shirt.
“No, Adam, I don’t want pancakes, I want to finish this conversation.”
“Well, I don’t. You know, I don’t get women sometimes, it’s like nothing we do is enough. I thought asking you to marry me would make you happy.”
“It did, I am, I’m very happy. I just think we can’t bury our heads in the sand about this topic because it makes you uncomfortable. Sooner or later we…”
“No,” he cut me off, shirt draped over one arm. “There is no sooner or later. We’re done with this topic. I’d rather enjoy the day if you don’t mind. Now… all of a sudden I’m in the mood for some bacon. I think I’ll pop down to the store and pick some up. When I come back, I’ll make enough pancakes for an army and I’ll let you bore me to death with wedding details. Sound good?”
I opened my mouth to blurt it out.
I’m having your baby…
but nothing came out. He wanted to enjoy the day, and I did too. “Yeah, that sounds good,” I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything else. What would waiting one more day hurt?
* * *
Somehow I pushed away the worries and doubts, doing my best to live in the present, and enjoy the day for what it was - the first step to our future together. Daphne and Sam planned to stop by for drinks later in the evening, and Parker and Luz might even show up, so I looked forward to a full house before the night was through. Nelo ventured out to help me with the dinner preparations, and I promised him we’d have our very own celebration after my mother went home. I had a present under the tree for him to share with Mimsy, a smoked salmon nearly as big as he was, his favorite delicacy.
I wondered how Nelo would react to the news that I was pregnant. Having an extra pair of hands to fetch diapers and wipes sounded appealing, but was I dooming my baby to some kind of failure if I raised it with a dark minion around? How the heck would I explain there were certain things like demons we didn’t talk about in polite society? I couldn’t ask the little guy to leave, he was as much a part of my family as Sam or Mimsy, and he’d never survive in the world on his own. Maybe people would assume Nelo was an imaginary friend, and besides, that was way in the future, no sense in borrowing more trouble than was already on my plate.
Adam seemed almost nervous as the time drew near for my mother’s arrival, and I caught him looking in the mirror more than once.
“Hey, she’s going to love you,” I assured him, leaning up to kiss his smooth cheek.
“I know, everybody does,” he replied without a trace of humility. “But sooner or later I rub everybody the wrong way, and…”
“Trust me, it’ll be fine. If anything it’ll be the other way around.”
He certainly looked handsome enough, in a pair of dark slacks and a crisp blue button up shirt that set off his eyes particularly well. I had on my standard holiday party dress, a pretty red number with a wraparound bodice and a cinched waist that fell to just above my knees. So what if I’d worn it for the past three holidays in a row? By next year… I’d probably be wearing sweats and a spit up rag over my shoulder. I couldn’t resist the urge to dress nice while I could.
My family arrived with a suitable amount of ruckus, my mother strolling right in without knocking, followed by Matty loaded down with packages. Oriana trailed behind, wearing white from head to toe, with the exception of a pink scarf wound round and round her neck. She eyed me warily, keeping to my brother’s side as I hugged my mother and Matty in welcome.
“Are you very angry with me?” Oriana asked from behind the scarf as I came to stand before her.
“No, you’re welcome here. But we should talk more later, there are a few things I want to say to you.”
Oriana broke into a radiant smile, unwinding the scarf from her throat with a flourish. “I’m so very glad you wish to confide in me, I’m pleased we’ll truly be sisters now.”
Becoming besties wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but I smiled back in keeping with the festive mood. There was time enough to read her the riot act once my mother was safely on her way back home.
“Who’s this?” My mother looked expectantly to Adam, who hung back by the breakfast bar.
“This,” I sidled up to him, linking my arm through his, “is sort of a long story, but the gist of it is, this is Adam.”
“I don’t understand. You met a new boy named Adam?” she blinked.
“No, actually the person you met the other night isn’t Adam at all. He’s my boss, Parker.”
“I think I’m going to need a drink.”
A few minutes later, having tucked my mom onto the couch with a glass of my special eggnog, I ran through the basics of the cover story I came up with. Basically, I said I wanted her to see I was happy and not making Adam up as a figment of my imagination, but he’d been away on business when she arrived and we hadn’t thought she would stay in town for very long. But seeing as how he’d gotten back sooner than expected, I decided to end the charade and introduce them properly. Any annoyance she felt over the misdirection was quickly eaten up by a few charming smiles from Adam and the sight of the diamond ring on the significant finger.
That quickly became the topic for the majority of the dinner conversation. Weddings, engagement parties, dresses… all of it. Matty was surprisingly involved in the choices he and Oriana had already made, they’d obviously given it a lot more thought than we had. I shared a few private smiles with Adam across the dinner table as my mother yammered on about her own nuptials and how she really felt a wedding wasn’t a wedding unless it took place in a church with family and flowers and attendants and… the list went on and on.
“We aren’t getting married in a church,” Oriana declared when my mother paused for breath. “I want to be married in the embrace of Mother Earth, as the Gods intended.”
“I have the most wonderful idea! You four should have a double wedding!” My mom clapped her hands together in excitement. Oriana clapped her hands delightedly as well, catching on to her enthusiasm, and I could see Matty’s mind churning through the more economical benefits to joining our blessed events together, but Adam shook his head.
“I’m sorry, as fun as that sounds, it’s not gonna happen.”
“No? But think of how special it’ll be to share the day,” she pleaded.
“Sorry, Mercy deserves to have her own special day, and I’m here to see that she gets it,” he winked at me across the table.
I could tell my mother’s sense of practicality warred with the inherent romance of that statement and the romance won. “Such a thoughtful man you have, Merceline,” she gushed. “Of course, he’s right. You both deserve your own special day.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Oriana piped up, reaching for a glass of water. All she drank was water, I noticed. “As I said, I’ve always wanted to be a sister. And an Auntie, I’ve never been an Auntie before,” she smiled and I felt my stomach clench. Did she know something?
Adam’s smile hardened. “I hate to break it to you, Sis-to-be, but I wouldn’t count on being an Auntie any time soon.”
“No? And here I tried so hard to be allowed to join the party,” her face crumpled in distress. “I wore my finest dress, and I’ve been ever so careful with my manners, haven’t I, beloved?” she turned to Matty. “Won’t I be allowed to bestow my blessing when the baby comes?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“What baby?” my mom blinked, and I tried to laugh it off as best I could.
“I don’t think we can always take what Oriana says at face value.”
“I have never spoken falsely,” Oriana frowned. “Don’t fret so, your head will stop spinning come summertime. Oh… would you like me to cast an auger to see if you’ll welcome a girl or a boy?” she brightened at the prospect. “Or shall you be surprised? I do love surprises.”
I couldn’t look at her, all I could do was watch Adam who stared at me in growing horror as he started to grasp the truth behind her words. His hands gripped the edges of the table hard enough to scar the wood.
“Oh, Merceline, how could you let this happen?” My mother’s plaintive cry drew my attention, and I snapped back at her in annoyance.
“I didn’t
let
anything happen, it just did. Adam…”
“How long have you known?” His voice was quiet and devoid of life, it scared the hell out of me.
“Not long. I tried to tell you, but you didn’t want to talk about it, remember?” I wanted to see him react instead of just sitting there, but his face remained completely passive. Even yelling would have been preferable to the deadly calm that settled over him. “Adam it’s going to be fine, it’s not ideal I know, but…”
My mother continued as if the tension in the air wasn’t thick enough to slice with a knife. “I suppose it’s alright, with the two of you getting married, but no long engagements now. You’ll want to pick a dress out with a little room built into it. Maybe an empire waist gown.”
That was the last of my worries, and I only had eyes for Adam who continued to sit in silence. “Could you maybe give us a few minutes?”