“My Grace, and yes.” I watched him carefully, but he didn’t seem as hostile. In fact, he looked pretty distraught.
“I’m so sorry…”
“I know, I’m not blaming you. It was my fault for trying to jump in between the two of you, but you have to admit, you’ve gone way out of control here.”
“I only wanted him to leave you alone,” he shook his head glumly.
“Ben, I think there might be something wrong with you. When I look at your aura, it’s not the same as it used to be, it’s darker…” Not black and splotchy like Weatie’s had been, but not the same, true color of his soul I’d come to expect. “I want to try a little experiment.”
“What do you mean there’s something wrong with me,” he frowned. “I feel fine.”
“But this isn’t you. You don’t pull your gun on people without provocation.”
“Where is my gun anyway?” he looked around, and I caught hold of his shoulders, demanding his full attention.
“I want to try to heal you with my Grace, will you let me?”
“I told you, I feel fine.”
“Then humor me.” I had no idea if it would work, I’d never tried to heal anyone’s soul before, but I had to take the shot. Before he could object, I centered myself, taking a deep, calming breath. Sending the soothing Grace into his body, I focused on suffusing his entire being with the warm, healing light. After the burst that sent him flying and the expenditure of Grace, I was fairly wiped out by the time I pulled back, but I anxiously looked to see if it had any lasting effects.
At first his aura was dominated by the soft, golden glow, and I worried I’d given him too much. Gradually, his own indigo reasserted itself though, and to my disappointment, the dark tinge seemed just as prominent as my Grace faded.
“That was…” Ben swallowed, searching for the right words. “I feel… You are amazing, you know that?” His head dipped as if to kiss me, but I easily held him back by the shoulder.
“Not so amazing,” I murmured, keeping it to myself that it hadn’t worked as I’d planned. I heard Parker try the door and a string of curses when he found it locked. There wasn’t much time now.
“I didn’t mean to hit you,” he hung his head miserably.
“I know, you’re not thinking clearly right now,” I patted him on the shoulder.
“Of course I am, I see things clearer than ever. I need to take you away from all this. You deserve so much better.”
And we were firmly back where we started again.
I stepped away from him, putting some much needed space between us. “I’m happy where I am, Ben. I’m happy with Adam.”
“But I could make you so much happier…”
“No, Ben, this is it.” I made my voice cold and strong, needing him to understand I was completely serious. “I wanted to try and stay friends but it’s obvious that’s not going to happen. Stay away from me and stay away from my friends and family.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I couldn’t mean it more.” I drew my sword to emphasize my point, knowing somewhere deep down he remembered the sting of the blade. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I won’t hurt you because I feel sorry for you. If you come near me or mine again I’ll shoot first and ask questions later, is that clear enough for you?”
The door opened, and Parker stepped in, the glower fading from his face at the sight of my sword. “Time to go,” he said firmly, smart enough to stay behind me this time.
Ben looked like he might say more, but at Parker’s entrance, his face shuttered closed, and he left without another word.
Slumping against the desk, I drew in a shaky breath, releasing the shining sword as Parker shut the door and approached me with a plastic bag of ice. “Are you okay? Why did you lock the door like that, he didn’t try anything did he?”
“No, I’m fine. I told you it’s not that bad, I’d heal it if I hadn’t worn myself out again trying to fix Ben.”
“I take it the fix didn’t work?”
“Not even a little bit,” my shoulders sagged tiredly. “I’m so sorry for putting you in the middle of that. If I’d known he was that unstable I never would have…”
“It’s not a big deal. Just name your firstborn after me, and we’ll be square.” Parker nudged my shoulder with his, coming to sit beside me on the desk.
“What if it’s a girl?” My lips curved into a smile, imagining Adam’s face when I told him I wanted to name our future bundle of joy after my boss.
“Then she’ll be sassy like her mom and she can pull it off just fine.”
I laughed at that, before the melancholy returned, clinging to me like a wet blanket. “That’s not something that’s in the cards for me, not for a long time.”
“I didn’t mean tomorrow, just you know, eventually. Why, can’t angels have kids? Come to think of it, I can’t remember hearing of any half-angels in the bible.”
“They sure can, that’s why it’s forbidden. Adam’s first wife was pregnant when they…” I drew a finger across my throat. “So now, he’s dead set against the idea, hence, the no kids for the foreseeable future. How about I name my next cat after you?”
“Hey, I at least rate a dog,” he snorted. “What about you? Are you okay with not having kids in the foreseeable future?”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I? I don’t want to give birth to a monstrous thing, and besides, can you imagine me trying to take care of a baby in the train wreck that is my life? You don’t exactly have a maternity uniform for me to tend bar in either, do you?”
Parker took long seconds to process before he spoke again. “Wow, there are so many things in that reply, I don’t know where to start. Go back to the part where you said you’d have a monster baby.”
“Maybe not a monster, but children between angels and human women were supposed to be ‘monstrous’,” I made little air quotes. “I didn’t take that as a good thing.”
“Oh come on, who can’t use a third eye? Or a tail? It could be very useful on the playground,” he teased, drawing a smile to my lips again. “And I happen to think you’d rock a maternity vest in the club,” he cupped his hands about a foot away from my belly.
“Not exactly my first choice. But who knows? Maybe in a couple hundred years, Adam will change his mind, and he keeps saying I should quit my job and let him take care of me anyway…”
“Again, you’re tossing them out faster than I can field them,” Parker shook his head. “How can you talk about a hundred years or more so casually?”
I gave a half shrug. “It’s something I might have to contend with. The more Grace I absorb, the more likely it is I’ll live at least longer if not indefinitely.” Not that I’d be able to tell for a good ten years for sure. Of all the things I had to worry about, it was one aspect that didn’t keep me up nights.
“And the thing about quitting? When were you going to tell me about that?”
I could hear the vulnerability in his voice even though his gaze focused on the floor. “I haven’t made any decisions yet, he mentioned it the other day for the first time. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you high and dry without a bartender, but it does sound nice not to have to be on my feet all day dodging guys looking down my top or up my skirt.”
“If you didn’t like your job so much, how come you never said anything before?”
“Don’t get me wrong, you know I love working here. But come on, Parker, what girl doesn’t fantasize about a rich, good looking guy who wants to take her away from all of this? I have to admit, it wouldn’t suck to be taken care of for a while.”
We were both silent then for a while, lost to our own thoughts. “Hey, what do you have going on for Christmas? I just realized I’ll need to throw something together, especially with my mom in town. What do you say? Ready to come and play fiancé again for Christmas dinner?” It was my turn to nudge his shoulder with mine.
“Actually, I have plans,” he patted my knee, launching himself off the desk with a little shake.
“You do?” I blinked.
“Luz invited me to come spend the day with her and her kids. They’re cute little buggers. But maybe I can swing by later if you need me to make an Adam appearance.”
All at once I realized how thoughtlessly demanding I was being. “No, of course not, you should spend the day with who you want to. I’ll tell her he’s away on a business trip or something.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. You really like Luz, huh?” I was genuinely glad for the pair of them, they were both good people and it was for the best that Parker get over his crush or whatever he’d had on me.
“She’s pretty great,” he admitted freely. “Plus, I figure you’d clue me in if her soul was black and tarnished like my last foray into dating, right?”
“After the way you bit my head off, you’re on your own, pal,” I snorted. “No seriously, she’s one of the good ones, witch or no. I just… forgive me if this sounds insulting but… doesn’t she come with a lot of baggage? I’ve never known you to date a woman with kids before.”
“Hey, I like kids. That wasn’t a line of bullshit to your mom. Especially since they’ve already gone through the messy years, they’re old enough to fetch and carry now, a beer here, pass me the remote… kids are pretty handy to have around.”
I couldn’t help but smile faintly at that. “I’d better get back out there, it’s probably starting to hit the busy time and Jilly needs to get back on the floor.” I’d almost forgotten I was on shift. I’d have to add an extra handful of awesome to her Christmas stocking for helping me out.
“I’d better get back to my books. I’ll be out in a while to give you a break.”
“Parker?” I paused by the door. “Be careful, okay? I’d hate it if anything happened to you.”
“I’m too pretty to get hurt, darlin’,” he winked, pulling open the desk drawer, and I remembered sticking the gun in there. “Unless you keep dropping weapons in my lap.”
“Oh right, leave that alone. I’ll take care of it later.” That was two of Ben’s guns in my possession now, what an odd collection.
“No problem there,” he shut the drawer quickly and I got the distinct impression he wasn’t all that comfortable around guns. Or maybe it was just that one, since it’d been so recently jammed up against his throat.
“Seriously, stay away from Ben. I’d hate to lose you.”
“You and me both, angel.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Adam took one look at me when I walked in the door and his hands clenched tight enough to crush my TV remote to useless bits of plastic. “Who hit you?” he demanded, scaring me a little with his intensity. I’d almost forgotten about the blow. It didn’t even hurt anymore, but I knew I’d have to tell him about what went down with Ben at the club. I’d just hoped I could bring it up in a less confrontational manner.
“Adam… I’m fine. It was an accident, and I already took care of it.”
“Who… hit… you…?”
“It was Ben.” The moment his name slipped from my lips I knew it was a mistake. I should have told him I walked into a door or something. “I told you, I already took care of it, he won’t be bothering me again.”
“He’s a dead man,” Adam muttered, already two steps away from the sliding door. I put on a burst of speed, surprising both of us when I blocked his path.
“No, Adam… please don’t do this.”
“I told you, I protect what’s mine.”
“I can protect myself! I already made my point, Ben knows not to mess with me or Parker or anyone else I care about.” In a hurried, somewhat mixed up way, I told him about Ben’s visit to the club and how I’d stopped him easily, but failed to heal him in the end.
That brought him up short. “Why did he come after Parker anyway? I thought the story about you dating him was all lies.”
“It was… it is!” Trust that to be the only thing he keyed into. “Ben’s unstable, not thinking clearly. He saw the two of us together and I think something snapped.”
“What were you doing with him exactly?”
“Oh God, not you too…” Why did men have to be so lunkheaded? “Adam, there is nothing going on between me and Parker! He’s seriously into Luz. Remember, the witch who ran the binding on Azazael?”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a thing for you.”
“No, it’s pretty serious. In fact, he blew me off on Christmas plans to spend time with her and her kids.”
“So what? You don’t know how a guy thinks, Mercy. He’s biding his time, we’ve all done it. Who wants to be alone when you’re pining over a girl that’s out of reach if there’s a willing one nearby?”
“Is that how you spent your time when you left me before to keep me ‘safe’?” My hands went to my hips.
“Mercy…”
“Answer me, Adam. Is that why you didn’t answer my calls back then, ‘cause you already had a willing girl on your lap to take the edge off your misery without me?” My voice rose, tears threatening when he didn’t immediately deny it. “Oh, this gets better and better…”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“How was it then, Adam? You know what? Nevermind.” I stepped away from the door. The last thing I wanted to know was how he found comfort in the arms of another woman. Or women. It shouldn’t matter since our on again, off again thing was off at the time and I was technically with Ben, but it still hurt like hell. “I love you, but I need a little space right now.”
“Fine, I have an errand to run anyway.” Moving past me, he slid the door open with enough force to make Mimsy jump from her cozy vantage point on the end of the couch.
“Don’t you dare go after Ben,” I called him back.
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he smirked, knowing it would bother me, I could see it in his eyes.
“Don’t bother to come back if you hurt him!” I hurled after him, but Adam was already gone by the time the last words were spoken. My stomach churned, and I ran to make it to the bathroom before the heaving started. So much for not getting the flu…
“Are you unwell, Mistress?” I heard Nelo’s hesitant voice behind me as I slumped on the bathroom floor.
“I’m fine, Nelo, a little under the weather, that’s all.”
“Will you feel better when it stops raining?” he smiled at me so earnestly, I forgot to cry, my tears turning to a hiccupping laugh.