Love Resisted (Entwined Hearts #2) (11 page)

Ninety minutes later and we’re in his car on our way somewhere…he hasn’t said where.

“So where are we going?” I ask looking down at my black skinny jeans, and red converse. I matched it with a red Animal hoodie and I want to make sure I’m not underdressed.

“I thought we would go somewhere that we used to love when we were kids,” he says and I’m intrigued.

“Oh yeah? Where?”

“To a theme park,” he answers with a smirk.

“Oh, yes!” I semi shout feeling a grin spreading across my face. I used to love theme parks when I was a kid and so did Saul. We used to go with Pea and Con on school trips, but those two didn’t like the rides so Saul and I would usually tackle them together. It was some of my best childhood memories. I can’t shake my smile and from the corner of my eye I see Saul glance across at me his face soft. He then catches my hand in his, placing our entwined hands on my thigh. I almost sigh with happiness.

“Oh, my giddy aunt. I want to do that again!” I screech and Saul laughs. We’ve been here for nearly six hours. Luckily, because it’s a weekday we haven’t had to queue for the rides. That means we’ve been able to go on a bucket load of them.

This one is my favourite. It’s like a massive swing that throws you up into the sky. Doesn’t sound like much, except that you get to about seventy-five feet in the air and going as fast as fifty miles per hour. I love it! It’s exhilarating and fun, and it doesn’t let you think about anything because it completely clears your mind.

“Let’s go grab some food and sit babe.” I nod at his request and we make our way to one of the fast food places. Grabbing something to eat, we sit on a bench in a deserted grassy area away from the rides.

“So, what’s going on with you lately, Soph?” Saul questions with a mouth full of burger.

I look at him and wonder why he’s asking. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing specific, babe. I’ve just noticed you’ve been jumpier recently. It’s not like you. I haven’t seen you like that since high school,” he says and pulls in his eyebrows.

I’m not sure what to tell him. I didn’t realise I was being jumpy. But I know without question what has made me like it, even if it was only subconsciously. The same thing that has been giving me nightmares.

“Soph?” Saul asks.

“What?”

“You just shivered. It’s not that cold. What the fuck is going on?”

“Oh, I’ve just been that way since I was attacked.”

He nods at me, he doesn’t seem surprised to hear I was attacked. “Yeah, I heard about that. I was going to ask you why you didn’t tell me.”

I look down at my uneaten burger. “I just…I didn’t want to think about it. I was trying to forget,” I say softly and his eyes warm.

“Sorry, babe. It’s just…with us attempting to make this work.” He nods in my direction. “We need to be honest.”

I feel a stab in my chest at his words because I know he’s right. I know we need to be completely open if this
thing
is going to have even half a chance of working. But how the hell do I tell him all the things about my past…the things that I try to keep buried.

“I know we do, Saul. Give me some time and I’ll tell you everything. But I can’t say it won’t make you run for the hills.”

His eyes narrow and he comes to sit next to me on the bench. “Soph, right here,” he says pointing at the imaginary space between us. “This is where I’ve wanted to be my whole life and here.” He touches my chest over my heart. “Is where I want to be for the rest of my life…but here…” He cups my face and taps his index finger against my temple. “This is where I need to be to make sure I’m everything you’ll ever want, and more. Everything you’ll ever need. So don’t ever fear letting me in, because I let you in a long time ago and nothing you ever tell me could ever change that,” he leans toward me. “Nothing,” he whispers then touches his mouth to mine brushing over my lips from left to right then back again. I can feel his thumb stroking my cheek and his other fingers are stretched down my jaw and neck. He kisses the corner of my mouth looking at me, his blue eyes glitter and are putting me into some kind of a trance. I’ve had this dream a thousand times over the years and now it’s happening my body and brain are still trying to catch up. He gently bites my lower lip, bringing me back to reality and I groan without meaning to.

Chuckling he kisses my lips again, still looking at me he whispers, “My life can start now.” I gasp as he covers my mouth and slips his tongue in. I close my eyes as he runs his hand up the back of my head, sliding his fingers into my hair while his other hand is firm on my hip bringing me closer to him, if that’s even possible. Our tongues collide and wind around each other, both trying to make up for so many lost years. I thread both my hands into his hair wanting to take this further, scared of it ending.

Suddenly, Saul pulls back and starts kissing my neck and the hand that was on my hip starts travelling up the side of my body toward my breast. I can feel my nipples aching for him to touch them, to take them in his mouth. But when his hand gets to the side of my breast, he stops there and moves his mouth back to mine, taking our kisses and controlling them, owning them. Pulling back he nips my lip again and I open my eyes to see him staring at me.

“If we don’t stop now, I might be arrested, babe,” he says his breath blowing over my face.

I pull my eyes away from his to look beyond at the group of teens staring at us, and as soon as they see me looking they start hooting and hollering. I feel my cheeks flame red.

“We need to go,” I whisper.

“Yeah, babe…a minute,” he says looking at his lap and my head jerks down and I see a bulge in his pants. I snort and then can’t stop myself laughing. He just shakes his head and smiles.

We pull up at Dane’s and I look over at Saul questioningly. I’m not really sure where we stand. I had the best kiss of my life…ever. I’ve loved this man for what feels like forever. He has pretty much said the same thing to me. I assumed we would move our relationship to the next level. But from him bringing me home I’m thinking that’s not going to happen yet, and it makes me frustrated. At the same time, the thoughts running around in my head are making me feel like a slut.

“Home?” I ask looking at Saul.

“Yeah, babe.”

“O…kay,” I reply.

He grabs my hand before I can get out confused. “I’ve wanted to be inside you for years, Soph, but I’ve wanted to just
be with you
for my whole life. I’m enjoying this…
us.
And as much as it pains me to walk away from you, I think we both have walls that need breaking down first.” His eyes roam my face for a moment then he leans forward to take my lips again. “Saying that though, I’m still me and you’re still
you
. So my good guy streak won’t last forever,” he tells me with a wink.

Shaking my head I get out of the car and watch him drive away through the window, thinking about all that we could be. And for the first time in years, having that spark…hope…and it’s burning in my chest.

Closing my eyes and letting the music run through me as I do my sit-ups to ‘Not A Bad Thing’ by Justin Timberlake that’s playing through the speaker system. It’s unusual for this kind of music to be playing at Murphy’s. I don’t mind a bit of the Lake-man, the women love him. It’s just we usually have a different style playing here, more metal and hard rock. This is the third time I’ve been to Murphy’s this week and the third time I’ve heard this album played. I never knew this song before, but now it won’t stop ringing in my fucking ears. It’s like he’s singing my thoughts about Soph out loud for everyone to hear.

Knowing I was up to coming back here was a massive boost for me. It means I’ve reached one milestone. I just need to break down Soph’s walls while beating back my own fears, and I might have a chance at something I never thought was possible…a normal life. Sitting up I take a breath and grin at myself while thinking about Soph.

“You seem happy,” I hear a female voice behind me. Looking over my shoulder I see a tall, auburn-haired woman. She has on short shorts and a tight as fuck top showing her stomach, and she’s
toned
. Her hair is scooped into a band and it cascades down her back and a dazzling smile sits on her face. She’s exactly the type of woman I would’ve picked up before Soph.

“Yeah, just pleased to be back at Murphy’s,” I reply looking around the place.

“It’s good here,” she tells me nodding.

“True, but you don’t often see women here.”

She giggles and I momentarily freeze hoping this isn’t a flirty giggle, knowing if it is I’ll have to shut that shit down. “No, I’m getting that.” She’s still smiling and it seems genuine.

“I guess I have you to thank for the music choice?” I ask getting up from the mat ready to do some pull ups next before moving to the punching bag. Her eyes are assessing me.
Fuck
.

“Hmmm,” she replies. “I can turn it off if you want?”

“That’s okay. This song,” I reply pointing upward to the speaker. “It reminds me of my girlfriend.”

I can see the surprise move over her face, but all I can feel is my heart pumping, the sound drilling in my head.

Girlfriend.

We never cemented our relationship, I’ve never claimed her. Not in a concrete enough way for my liking.

What if she’s out there flirting with guys?

What if she doesn’t realise this is it for me?

“So where is your girlfriend then?” I hear her ask, she still hasn’t even told me her name.

“Oh, she doesn’t need to come to the gym. She’s gorgeous…she’s actually a model,” as I say it I realise how much of a prick I sound, but I don’t give a shit I’m only thinking about getting out of here and claiming my girl.

“You leaving?” Auburn asks.

“Yeah, gotta see my girl,” I tell her before jogging out toward my car.

“Wow Missy,” Eric breathes out and I can’t stop the joy from spreading across my face in the form of a teeth and all smile. It’s been three weeks with Saul. It’s been three weeks of dancing back at my old dance studio. It’s been the three happiest weeks of my life. Eric has become quite a regular here, wanting to watch me dance.

I’ve been working on a piece for Saul. I picked a song from my heart. I can’t sing to him like Pea does to Con, but I was listening to the radio one day while cleaning and heard this song come on and it made me slightly emotional. Not enough to cry…I don’t cry. But it did make me think of Saul. The song perfectly captured my feelings for him. I’ve always had a certain song that made me think of him – ‘The Only Exception’ by Paramore. That song still carries the same emotions, but this song…this song made me want to dance for him. To
show
him my feelings – ‘Yours’ by Ella Henderson. From the moment I heard the song, I’ve been creating a dance so I can perform it for Saul. To show the feelings that I find so hard to explain in words.

“You’re done, sweetie,” Eric says wrapping me in a hug when I make it to him. “If he doesn’t love it, and more importantly understand it, then send him to my house and the gays will set him straight,” he tells me with a wink.

“Thanks, Eric. It’s hard for me to give up my independence,” I say stretching my legs. He looks at me like I’ve just told him I didn’t want to have sex, ever again.

“How are you giving up your independence?” he asks with a frown.

“Well…I…just…it’s,” I splutter.

“Well, get it out girl,” Eric moans.

I sink to the floor and cross my legs stretching my arms out. “I’ve never needed someone and I’ve never given myself to someone…not completely. I find it just as hard to tell him I’m his as I would telling him I love him. Not that either of us has actually said
‘I love you’
yet.” I shake my head and stare at the floor. “It’s difficult to explain. If I say,
‘I’m yours,’
then it’s like putting all the power into someone else’s hands…like I’m just handing over my heart.”

Eric sits beside me. Grabbing my hand he makes me look at him. “Sweetie, haven’t you already done that? I mean didn’t you give him your heart when you were a little girl?”

I nod at him. “Yeah, but I didn’t tell him. I’ve never told him, he has
that
power,” I whisper.

“Oh Missy, the song? The dance? They’re both beautiful and you need to show him, but he’s only ever going to know he has all of you when you tell him. Trust me. Men are stupid!” he states rolling his eyes and smiling.

I take a deep breath. “I know, and I will. But one step at a time.”

He nods. “Okay, Missy.”

I’m sitting on the floor my legs spread in front of me and stretching, resting my head on my knee and touching each foot. I can feel the burn and the muscles pulling out any knots.

Suddenly Eric slaps me on my leg.

“Oi!” I shout at him.

“Err, Missy, you might want to see this,” he replies. I sit up and look at Eric, only he’s not looking at me, he’s looking through the window toward the car park. I turn my head and gaze outside. My body instantly heats. There, in the car park, is a very sweaty Saul getting out of his car. He has loose joggers on and a workout tank. “Hellooo Mr. Hunk of Burning Love,” I hear Eric say from beside me.

I giggle, partly from Eric’s words and partly with nervousness, not knowing what he’s doing here, but appreciating the hell out of my sexy man.

Did I just think that? Is he my man? Fuck…is he still seeing other women?

What’s even more worrying is that he looks like he’s on a mission, and I’m scared that he somehow knows about my past. Even though, that couldn’t possibly be true. I’m being irrational and I feel my heart trying to push out of my chest, but I’m not sure which thought is making it beat faster, my past or Saul finally being
my man.

I sit still like a total muppet just listening to my heartbeat. Somehow everything else has been drowned out. Watching Saul, as though in slow motion, he strides through the door and straight to me. I turn my head slightly to see Eric with a smirk on his face creeping out of the studios. My brain isn’t functioning enough to speak, even to ask where he’s going. It feels like I’m on autopilot so I just turn back to Saul. He’s watching Eric leave, nodding to him as Eric closes the door, then he turns his attention back to me. Suddenly I feel like a baby rabbit trapped by a lion. He prowls toward me and I stand up and take a step back. Saul takes another step forward so I take a second step back and feel the wall behind me. Now he’s in front of me I can’t decipher the look in his eyes.

I thought I knew all his looks.

My breath sounds loud to my ears and I’m almost panting, I don’t think it’s with fear though. It feels more like arousal. The minute my mind works out that I’m turned on, Saul cages me in.

Grabbing both my hands and holding them against the wall above my head he leans into me and whispers, “Now babe…now, I claim you.” And before I can reply he takes my mouth. Every single kiss we’ve had he’s controlled, not that I’m complaining, he’s an amazing kisser, better than I could have imagined. This time though…this time it’s different. He doesn’t just own the kiss, it’s like this is the last thing he’s ever going to do. Like I’m his last breath…like I’m his everything. Pulling away from my mouth his eyes search mine. I don’t know what it is he’s looking for, but he must find it and I realise what that look was on his face before, it was desire…for me. It was heat in his eyes, but not only that, it was determination. That’s why I hadn’t seen it before, he’s never shown his desire for me.

He kisses down my neck then removes my sports top. I have no bra underneath and when my breast falls out of it, Saul groans staring at them.

“Fuck,” he says before leaning down and taking one in his mouth. His other hand that was still holding my wrists against the wall drops, and his thumb strokes the nipple of my other breast. He steps back letting me go and bringing the top over my head, then reaches behind his shoulder blades and pulls his tank off.

I just stare.

My eyes can’t move.

I’ve never had a chance to just gaze, at all that is Saul. So I do. I just stare at him looking from his throat down, over every inch of his tanned chest, and boy what a chest. The genes sure are good in his family. Every tiny bit of him is perfect and I want to lick him.
If I lick it, then it’s mine right?
He’s better than any of the models out there, and I know this for a fact. Saul smirks at me and pulls his joggers off.

Holy fuck a duck!

I’ve had enough men to know that Saul has it going on all the fuck over. He’s big. My eyes must give me away as I hear a chuckle come from him and looking back to his face I see he has a self-assured smirk.

Git!
Two can play that game.

I pull down the dance pants I’m wearing, commando style. Then watch his reaction as his eyes bulge out. I have a smug smile of my own for about a second. Until Saul looks back into my eyes with such fire that I think I might end up as a heap of ash by the time he’s finished with me.

He stalks toward me until we’re nose to nose. “Fuck babe…you’re bare…fuck!” he says and I feel fluttering in my ho-ha. He rubs his nose up mine and then down claiming my mouth. His hands grab my wrists again, but this time he positions them behind me, bringing them together then untangling his hands and pushing me against the wall trapping my arms. It pulls, but it’s not uncomfortable and I’m too dazed and hot to care. He sets one of his hands on my right breast cupping it and rubbing my nipple with his thumb and the other hand journeys toward my sex. He moves back slightly from my mouth and nips my lip while using his foot to nudge my legs apart. Running his hand over my pussy cupping me, he stills for a second and looks directly into my eyes. I stare back at him and then suddenly feel him slip a finger into my heat. I gasp and moan and his eyes flare. A second finger joins his first, rubbing inside me and catching me in all the right places then his thumb runs over my clit.