Lost Princess (11 page)

I wasn’t good at these sorts of skirmishes. I tended to be too straightforward. Callista was the one who understood the subtle barbs the ladies tended to use. I tried to think of what to say, but Kasta didn’t wait.

“How goes the curse? There are bets as to how long you’ll last before he kills you too.”

Callista gave Kasta a sharp look, but I frowned. “Kills me too? His wives died in childbirth.”

“Is that what you believe? Well, in your position it must make you feel better.” Kasta’s voice was sickeningly sweet.

I looked over at Callista, but she was looking away. I’d never heard it said that Max had killed his wives—either of them. Of course I got nearly all my information from Callista, and she was looking very uncomfortable. I rose and stalked off, not really knowing where I was headed. I found myself in an empty hall and sat down with my back against the wall, my eyes blurred with tears. Callista had known this rumor and never told me? I thought of the things Kasta had said and felt impotent anger. I couldn’t beat her at her own game, for I didn’t understand the rules. She and the other ladies had already let it drop that they knew Callista was doing most of the duties that I, as the lord’s wife, should have been doing. I felt miserable and useless.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there. A couple of servants came by, but they realized I didn’t want to be bothered and left me alone. Then I heard heavier footsteps coming down the hall. Boots stopped in front of me, and I knew it was Max before I even looked.          “Wife. You truly push me this time,” he snarled. “What sort of action must I take to get you to listen to me? You continually prove your foolishness. And what is this? You simply wish to do the opposite of what I ordered? Is that why you sit in an empty hall?” He was nearly yelling now. “Damn you, answer me!” He took my arm and hauled me roughly to my feet. I looked up at him, and he shut his mouth on whatever he was going to say next. He examined my face for some time. I’m not sure what he saw there, but he said in a quieter voice, “Katrina, what ails you?”

I didn’t know where to start and shook my head.

Max sighed. “Come along,” he said and led me through the halls until we were at the same ‘office’ area we’d gone to before. It was much closer than going back to his suite of rooms. He closed the door and taking my waist, sat me up on one desk, so he could look at me more easily. “Tell me,” he said.

Again I shook my head. “‘Tis nothing, my lord. I simply have trouble fitting into my role as your lady. I’m sorry for that.”

Max said, “What trouble? Be specific, wife.”

“It’s not…I shouldn’t burden you with it.” I sighed. “I’m supposed to be able to handle this myself.”

Max considered me. “So, for some reason you do not wish to tell me, you are feeling overwhelmed with your new responsibilities?”

I nodded.

“I thought Callista was assisting you.”

“Not assisting me, exactly. It’s more that she’s doing it, and I’m trying to learn and doing a poor job.” I was looking at my knees, ashamed to have to admit this to him. Now I was not only unattractive, excessively tall, but I also was unable to handle my duties.

Max lifted my chin and chuckled. “What exactly are your responsibilities?”

I looked at him, surprised. “I thought everyone knew them. All the ladies seem to know.”

Max said, “I am not one of your ladies.” There was the hint of a smile on his face.

I wasn’t sure if he was mocking my sadness or trying to tease me into a better mood. I decided to assume the latter. “Too bad,” I mused. “I’d rather spend time with you than any of them.”

Max was quiet and thoughtful as I said that. He took a deep breath. “I had not realized your position among the ladies would be compromised when I punished you by making you serve.” He touched my chin softly, and my eyes rose to his. “They are your ladies, but do you wish me to intervene on your behalf?”

I pictured Max forcing the ladies to act respectful to me. Even if he tried that, it wouldn’t make it true respect, only the fear of him. “No, my lord. I must find a way to handle them.”

“You realize I asked you not to be on your own?”

I nodded. “I forgot. I was too busy…” I let a reluctant smile touch my lips. “Pouting.”

He snorted as he heard his own words from me. “Be that as it may, I can’t have it. I suppose we must solve your problem, so I can trust you to stay with Callista or one of the other ladies. I don’t understand what it is that you are not doing. Everything seems fine to me.”

“I’m supposed to direct the servants, plan the meals with the cook, lead the ladies, plan for linen, beddings and a multitude of other things I’ve never done.”

Max took my hands. “Who insists you must do these things? I don’t remember it either in the wedding ceremony nor have I asked you to do them, had I even known what they were.”

I just looked at him.

“In fact, the only things I have asked you to do you haven’t done. Maybe we should start with those orders and then you can pick up the other duties as you wish.”

Could I do that? Just decide not to do some of the lady-of-the-castle tasks? “And you wouldn’t be angry or…disappointed in me?”

Max chuckled. “Katrina, what I want from you is fidelity, sons, your obedience, and for you to scream with passion when I take you.” His eyes gleamed as he shrugged. “Other than that you can do as you wish. Someone has certainly done all the things you mentioned before I wed you. Can’t that person continue to do those jobs you do not want to do?”

I smiled in relief. He made it sound so simple. “I suppose so.”

“You don’t sound sure,” he said, moving and pushing my legs apart so he was partially between them, my skirt stretching to keep him from further contact.

“I thought…I thought you’d believe I wasn’t doing my duty.”

Max began to pull up my skirt until it was gathered up around my knees, and he could lean against me. “Your duty is to me.” His gaze was growing hotter. “Do you doubt it?”

“No, my lord,” I said a little breathlessly.

He kept his eyes on mine as he continued to slowly push up my skirt. “So, tell me, Katrina, what are you to do today? What is my will?”

“Uh….” I tried to concentrate as I felt my body responding to what he was doing. “Stay with the others today? And, uh, maybe that screaming thing?”

In response, he gave he a long, drugging kiss. He pushed my legs further apart and ran his hands along my thighs, bare now to his touch. “You have followed my instructions on your undergarments, I see.” He touched me between my legs and I jerked. “I feel you’re doing your duty quite well.”

I looked up at him wondering what would happen next. He smiled at whatever he saw in my face—anticipation?

“Lie back on the desk,” he said. I slowly lay back, my heart pounding. He continued touching me lightly, and I writhed as the feelings began to build. He watched me as the feelings grew, grew and then suddenly I was flying, and I cried out, my hands scrabbling through the papers below me, looking for something to hold on to. Max didn’t wait but lowered his pants and began to fill me. I clamped my legs around him and moaned with pleasure.

He took my hips and pulled me up closer to him, and I felt completely released from everything, letting myself go completely, giving myself to him without reservation. He started slowly, but soon he was pounding into me, and I was gasping his name as I spiraled closer to the apex. He finished with a cry, and with one more sharp thrust brought me as well. “Max!” I shrieked, completely unaware that I was doing so.

He braced himself against the desk as he gave me a truly peaceful smile. “Yes, wife,” he said, still breathing heavily. “I think you’re doing your duty very, very well.”

Chapter Nine

Once dressed, Max kissed me briefly and told me he’d better not have to hunt me down again. I nodded, thinking privately if that was how it would end each time he hunted me down I was going to have to hide a whole lot more often.

He escorted me to the great hall, where many of the women were gathered, apparently having been told not to wander off alone and actually following their orders. He patted my behind in a clear warning and left me there, feeling as if every single woman there must know what we’d just been doing.

I felt myself blush and looked about for Callista, who I saw hurrying over to me. She slid an arm around my waist.

“Kat, I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

I nodded, having to think for a minute why I was upset with her. “You knew those rumors?”

“Yes, but…” She sighed. “I didn’t think you should know them.”

“Why?” I asked.

Callista looked pained. “Please, cousin, don’t ask me that.“I could count on one hand the times Callista had asked me to do anything.

“Of course,” I said automatically.

Callista looked closer at me. “Did he just take you?” she asked. “Just now? In the middle of the day?“I looked away, my blush becoming more pronounced.

“Why would you ask that?” I said weakly. 

“He did!  Your hair is coming out of its braid and your face is pink.” She lowered her voice. “And you enjoyed it!“I looked about. “Keep your voice down,” I hissed at her.

Callista looked at me in frank wonder. “I want you to tell me what he does. How you stir his passion,” she said frankly. 

“I couldn’t!”

Callista frowned at me. “You owe me. I’ve been doing all your work for you.”

I nodded. “True, but you like doing those kinds of things. In fact, you’ve been strutting about as if you love doing it.”

Callista shrugged. “But you know if he finds out you’re not doing your duty…”

“He doesn’t mind,” I announced.

“What?” Callista asked in a disbelieving voice.

“He said my duty is to have babies, be obedient, be true, and uh, well, that’s pretty much it.”

“You told him you don’t want to run the castle?”

“I was upset because I don’t know how. He…comforted me.” I gave Callista a smile. “He was quite kind.”

Callista’s smile faded. “Oh, cousin. You’ve fallen for him.”

I shook my head. “I just appreciate it when he isn’t angry. That’s the extent of it.” I wasn’t sure I was telling the truth here, but didn’t want to examine that further.

“Katrina, he’s not that kind of man. He married you for heirs, not because he loved you. I hate to be so blunt, but you can’t start to expect any more than that. Just be happy with what you have and ask for no more.”

I nodded, knowing her advice was sound. “I will.”

“Good.” She looked about, pulling me to an alcove where we could speak privately yet still be in view. “Now come and tell me what it is you do that makes him crazy with desire to have you. Teach me how to make my future husband look as contented as Max did as he brought you in here.” She glanced out the window to check the time. “I have some time before there are more of your duties I must do.”

I tried to distract her. “Callie, who did all these things before he wed me?”

Callista said, “Kasta. She was his second wife’s closest friend, remember? When she died Kasta took on most of her responsibilities.”

I had forgotten how close those two had been. “Do you think that’s why she dislikes me so?”

“Probably. She’s lost status now that you’re the lord’s wife. I think she had her eye on that position herself.”

I frowned. “She did?”

Callista nodded. “Oh yes. She was always throwing herself at the Regent.”

I felt a little cold. “And what did he do?”

Callista laughed, pushing my shoulder. “Come now, Katrina. I don’t know of even one husband who is always faithful to his wife, much less an unmarried man who will not take what is offered. Tell me you don’t expect your husband to only take you? I mean at first, sure, he probably will, but what about when you’re heavy with child? Men are randy creatures, no doubt about that. I don’t think you should think anything of it if he strays. You’re the wife. You’re the one who will have his legitimate heirs.”

I don’t know why I was so very shocked at her words but I was. Shocked clear down to my toes. I’d known all this—well, sort of seeing I never thought I’d be a wife. But to imagine Max with someone else…it felt like a band was squeezing my chest and I couldn’t breathe. And Callie had said ‘legitimate’ children. Did Max already have bastards?

Callista saw I was upset but she didn’t recant her words. “Cousin, you must come to terms with this, or it will only hurt more when it happens.” She patted my leg. “I need to go anyway. Please think about what I said. Do not ask for more than he can give.”

I nodded, deep in thought. Callie kissed my cheek and left me alone in the alcove, trying to breathe past the band around my chest.

I spent a miserable three hours sitting alone in the alcove. I kept thinking of things I wanted to do: go to the stables, bathe, take a walk outside, visit some of the inhabitants that lived outside of the castle proper. But I could do none of those things. I had to, for once, do as he’d told me.

Had he already taken someone else since we’d wed? This question kept floating into my head when I wasn’t expecting it. A servant, maybe? Or Kasta? I didn’t want to think about it, and when the pictures started in my head, I became so upset I wanted to hurt something. No, I just couldn’t believe he’d do that. How could he do the things we did together with someone else? I couldn’t imagine another man touching me like that, so how could he do it? Were men and women so very different that what was so important to me was so meaningless to him?

Because breakfast had been so late, only two meals were served on this day. The evening meal came along, and I helped Callista do some of the myriad of tasks she was doing for me. I had to admit she was good at it, and yet the servants at least didn’t seem to think less of me because I was letting her usurp my supposed authority. They were willing to do what I asked for the most part, only a few of them giving me any trouble.

I met Max and Devlin in the hall, and we all walked in together. I felt strange looking at Max and thinking that for all I knew he could have come straight from another woman’s thighs. No, he was busy, right? It couldn’t be like that, could it?