Lost Princess (15 page)

“What?” he asked without moving.

“Did I do something wrong? I mean, when you did that to me, I liked it. I mean I really liked it.”

Max chuckled. “I noticed.” His arm was still over his face.

“You don’t like it?” I asked, a little disappointed.

Max lowered his arm. “What?”

Now that he was looking at me, I couldn’t seem to continue. I must be some kind of deviant. He even thought so, and he seemed to be pleased with me most of the time once our clothes came off. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“What?” he asked again. “What in the name of all that’s holy are you talking about?”

My face flaming with embarrassment, I scooted away from him, reaching for my dress. “I…um, I…” I couldn’t think of a thing to say.

“Katrina, stop,” came his low voice.

I had my skirt on, and continued pulling on my shirt. I stayed where I was though, my back to him. I heard him stand. It sounded like he was putting on his pants. He came over to me and turned me around to face him. “Wife, if you’re thinking I did not enjoy what you just did, you’re very wrong.”

I searched his eyes. “Really? Why did you stop me, then?”

He shook his head and chuckled. “You know, I’ve never been with a woman who liked to talk about these things as much as you do. You don’t seem to have any sense of embarrassment.”

I put the backs of my hands on my flaming cheeks as evidence. “How can you say that? I’m as red as a tomato.”

“You ask anyway,” he noted. “Perhaps it is that you’re brave.”

“Well,” I said, trying to look away but having him catch my chin, “I really want to know.“He smiled. I stared up at him, thinking he had the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.

He looked at me searchingly. I wasn’t sure why, but he became uncomfortable and put me away from him. “I have things to do. Ignore the gossip—I’ve told you all you need to know. There’s no need to spread rumors of your own either.  I’ll have the two men come up here to escort you wherever you want to go in the castle. For now I want you to stay within the inner walls of the castle.” He had reverted to the cool, efficient Max.

I nodded, trying to think what I’d done that had caused the change.He put on his shirt and left with barely a glance back at me.What had I done that had made him want to leave?  I had been thinking about his smile, and that he really was a wonderful man, and I…oh. On my face must have been the adoring look of a woman smitten with her husband. And while Max maintained he wanted to keep me, he obviously didn’t want my love.

Chapter Eleven

My guards were two men-at-arms who looked a little embarrassed to be following me around the castle. Well, they couldn’t be as embarrassed as I was, although I tried to ignore them. I found Callista and she hustled me into an alcove. “Did you hear?” she asked breathlessly. 

“Hear what?” I asked.

“That the messenger was about you!”

“Oh.” I nodded. “That. Yes, Max told me.”

“So is it true?” Callista asked.

“Callista, is what true?” My voice sounded a little like Max when he became exasperated.

“I’m sure this must be upsetting to find this out all at once.”

“Callie, I don’t know. I don’t even know for sure who my father is. The whole thing is just too confusing.”

There was a sneering voice from the edge of the alcove. “Now that doesn’t surprise me,” Kasta said. “I always figured you for a bastard.”

I rose to my feet so quickly that Callie flinched away. I’d had too many shocks today and was feeling prickly. “Go away, Kasta.”

“Or?” she asked, one thin eyebrow raised. “You’ll tell your husband to beat me? What makes you think he’d do it? Could be he plans to see me later anyway.”

That derailed me. “See you? Why?”

Kasta trilled a laugh that made me see red. “Because he manages to find me most days. He’s a very passionate man. We’ve been close ever since my dear friend died. You know, comforting each other.”

Callie, who knew me well, grabbed my arm. “Just ignore her,” she advised.

But I wrenched out of her grasp. I leapt over to Kasta and swept out my foot, making her lose her balance. I pushed her at the same time, and she fell backwards onto the stone floor.

She opened her mouth and screeched as if I’d gouged out her eyes with a hot knife.

Max, who had been talking to one of the servants not far from the alcove, turned to look at us in surprise. Kasta gave a pathetic howl and tried to rise, falling back down. Callie was standing next to me now, both her arms around me to keep me from going after Kasta again.

Max barked at the staring people to go back to what they were doing, and people made haste to leave the area. He came over to us, his expression cold. “Kasta, be silent,” he snapped. Kasta turned the volume down some, but still whimpered. Max looked down at her, then at me, my body trembling with rage.“Davin,” he said to one of my guards, “escort Kasta over there. Callista, accompany her and lend aid.” He pointed to the far side of the hall by the hearth. His eyes pinned me where I was. “You will stay here.“I turned my attention off Kasta and onto Max. My fury drained away at the look in his eyes. He pulled me deeper into the alcove, where we would be unseen. “What are you doing? Did you attack her?”

My fury jabbed me again. “Did you?” I asked sarcastically.

Max’s eyes narrowed. His voice was low and harsh. “You want to stop and think very carefully on your next words.”

I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I said, “I need to talk to you in private.”

Max frowned. “Do you order me around?”

I shook my head. “No, but….”

“I’ve spent enough time coddling you today. Manage your own ladies.”

I gritted my teeth. “Then you can just back off!”

Max leaned over me and was about to pronounce some dire punishment, I’m sure, when Devlin’s voice floated over us. “Max, a word?”

Max turned and glared at his brother. “Devlin….” he rumbled in a clear warning.

Devlin looked back at him calmly. “This won’t wait.“Max looked at me and then turned on his heel and followed his brother.

I watched them for a moment, but I was still riled, primed for some kind of argument. As soon as Max was out of the room, I went purposefully over to Kasta, sitting near the fire. “Kasta?” I inquired.

She turned to me, a sneer on her face. “You see how he protects me.”

The two guards looked at each other, plainly at a loss as to what to do.

Callista said, “Katrina, maybe we should—”

“Listen to me well, Kasta. I have little to lose right now. You will never talk to me like that again. You will treat me with respect and not talk behind my back. You will refer to me as, ‘my lady,’ and most importantly, you will stay away from my husband. If you break even one of my orders, I will hurt you. Not a lot the first time, but if you displease me again, I’ll hurt you so that no man ever looks at you again!”

Kasta blinked at me, completely nonplussed.

“Nod your head, Kasta,” I snarled.

She simply stared.

I reached out quick as a snake and pulled her head back, forcing her to nod. “Good. We understand each other.” I turned and stalked off, the bemused guards following me.

I was sitting in the window near my old room when Callista found me. “Kat?” she asked.

I sighed, thoroughly embarrassed at my behavior. “Yes?” I said, turning. My guards were loitering in the hallway a discrete distance away, looking uncomfortable.

Callista sat on the other side of the wide ledge, looking at me. “Oh, it’s cold here,” she said.

“Yes,” I said.

“Katrina, what is going on with you?”

I turned to her. “Let me count.” I put out my fingers, ticking off my points. “I’m probably a bastard with a killer for a father, the women of the castle treat me like dirt and try to seduce my husband, the King has annulled my marriage, my husband only seems to like me once my skirt comes off, and… my mother has been alive all these years and nobody told me!” I put my face in my hands.

“Katrina, I’m so sorry. Truly I am. Is there anything I can do?”

I sighed. “No, I’m sorry I keep yelling at you.”

She waved a hand. “No apology is necessary.“I pulled up my knees against my chest and let my chin rest on them. My eyes took in Callista, beautiful in a lemon yellow skirt and slightly paler shirt, her blond hair in a knot on top of her head. In two days she’d be gone. That reminded me, so I said, “What are you going to do about Devlin?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Seduce him.”

Callista stared at me. “What did you say?”

“Seduce him,” I repeated calmly.

She gave a short laugh. “You are certainly blunt today. But you know I can’t; even if I knew how to, it wouldn’t be right.”

“You want him, right?  Then make sure there is no hope before you go off with Gregory.”

Callie shook her head. “I couldn’t.  Devlin … he would lose all respect for me.”

“If he wants you, maybe this is the push he needs.”

“I can’t,” Callie repeated.

“Then you’ll go, and I’ll have no one,” I said a little wildly. “Please, please try.”

She studied me. “Kat, you have Maximus now.”

I barked a laugh that made the guards turn and glance at me. “Hardly,” I said bitterly.

Callie looked as if she might cry. “Katrina, I can’t seduce anyone. I don’t know how.““Get him alone and press yourself to him and kiss him. Either he’ll kiss you back, or he won’t,” I said.

“Oh.” Callista was blushing now. “And if he says, ‘go away?’ Or gasped in horror? Katrina, I’d just die.”

“Callista, he’d have to be dead not to respond to you.”

“Katrina, have you ever considered that, because of his problems he might not feel like that towards any lady?  Have you ever thought about that?  Maybe that’s why he won’t marry.”

I stared at her. “No, that’s not it,” I said before I thought.

Callie sat up straighter. “You know what the reason is, don’t you? Tell me!”

“Callie, I can’t. I promised him. But I swear that isn’t it.”

“Please, please tell me you didn’t discuss me with him.“As I might have mentioned before, I can lie when I need to. And this was one of those times.

“Callista, would I do that to you?” I said earnestly with just the right amount of reproach, I thought.

“No, no. I’m sorry I accused you,” Callie said. “But I can’t throw myself at him. I’m sorry, Kat.”

“Well, maybe he’ll surprise you yet,” I said without much hope.

Callista put her hand on mine. “Katrina, I’m so sorry about this. I’m sure your father loved you if he did all this to protect you.“Something in her voice made me look up at her. She looked kind, concerned and…there was something else there, something darker. I thought about what she’d said.  I’d never told her my father had tried to protect me.  I’d only said he was an assassin.  “The gossips certainly know more than I gave them credit for,” I said as casually as I could.

Callista abruptly stood and brushed off her dress. “They always do,” she joked, but her voice was nervous.

I stood as well, catching her hand. “Callista, look at me please.” Again I heard that ring of command in my voice, and I thought of Max.

Callista looked up at me.“How long have you known?” I had been going to ask if she did know, but thought this might work better.

Her eyes dropped immediately. “Oh, Katrina,” she said, pulling away from me.

“Callista,” my voice was firmer now, definitely shades of Max. Apparently bedroom tricks weren’t the only things he was teaching me. “How long?”

“I—I have to go,” she said, but I’d snagged her hand again, and I wouldn’t let go.  “Callista, my friend and cousin, I love you like a sister. Tell me,” I tried coaxing.

She looked at me, tears filling her eyes. “Katrina, I’m so very sorry! The Regent told me when I came here. He wanted me to befriend you.”

I stepped away from her. “That’s why you became my friend?“She reached out for me. “No, that’s not it. I mean, it was at first, but do you think I’m so false that I could fabricate all my feelings for you?”

I felt like a door had shut, closing my heart in a cold, lonely room. “So he told you everything?”

She looked nervous. “I—please, if you tell him, he’ll be furious. He told me then I must never let you know.”

“Why?”

But she just shook her head. “Katrina, please,” she said, tears dripping down her face.

I turned and walked away from her. I heard her following, or perhaps it was the guards. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. I would walk for the rest of my life if I needed to. Max had known and had kept it from me. Callista had known and kept it from me. Maybe everyone had known that I was a royal bastard, that the father I spoke about so lovingly was an assassin. And the most horrible thing of all is that I’d thought—I’d thought Max had just wanted me. Not because I was politically an asset, or because I had royal ties but because that day he’d caught me, he’d seen something in me that he’d liked—something that he’d wanted his children to have. I felt like the biggest fool in the world, and there was absolutely no one I could turn to.

Chapter Twelve

I sat in the room I shared with Max and thought. I’d come here because it was the only way to escape the guards. I was pacing and thinking and pacing some more when Max came in without warning. “Katrina, you keep everyone waiting to eat dinner!”

I looked up. “I asked for food to be brought here,” I said calmly.

“You hide? I’d thought you had more courage than that,” he taunted.

I tried to get upset, or hurt, or feel something. But I just felt cold. Maybe I’d used up all my emotions, or that door that had shut inside of me was permanently locked. I shrugged and went to him. “As you wish, my lord,” I said dully.

If Max was surprised, he didn’t show it, seeming as emotionless as I felt. I went to dinner but didn’t pay any attention to any of the talk around me. My mind fluttered from one ugly fact I’d learned to another, like a rat chasing its tail. Katrina was sitting at the table, looking at me occasionally. I hadn’t spoken to her, however, other than to answer direct questions.