Lipstick and Lies (45 page)

‘You’d frighten the pants off potential
clients
,’ said Nell
.
‘
N
ot to mention giv
e
them raging complex
es
.
If I
greeted my Ben with
two melons on my knockers,
he’d
have me
carted off to the funny farm.’

Morag shook her head dismissively.
‘You don’t know what you’re missing Nell.
Anyway, back to you Cass.
You were about to tell us your sexy story involving,’ she posted quotation marks in the air, ‘a duvet over
your body and the light off.’

‘Actually there was no sex involved at all,’ I said apologetically.
‘Instead I had a text at three in the morning from Stevie.
He’s gone AWOL.
Not even both
ered to let work know either.’

‘What do you mean
AWOL?’ asked Nell.
‘
He can’t be.
Not if he
’s
texted you
.
’

S
o I told them both about
Charlotte
’s phone call
, and
her anxiety about thinking
Stevie was missing
.
And
my telling Charlotte that Stevie had met somebody else,
followed by
Stevie
standing
Charlotte up after arranging a lunchtime meeting,
and
concluding with
my ex
cancelling
his weekend with
the twins.
‘Oh.
And he also sent me a charmless text
asking me not to leave him snotty voicemails, and told me I was a
stuck
-
up bitch.
’

‘Stevie said
that!’ Morag was incredulous.

‘Yep.
I think he’s lost the plot this time.
Total mid-life crisis.
He’s obviously so enthralled with Selina he’s gone doolally.
I hope he doesn’t get the sack from work.
He has a mortgage
to pay at the end of the day.’

‘So what did you do after re
ceiving his text?’ asked Nell.

‘Well I tried contacting him again earlier this morning
,
and this time I really did leave him a snotty voicemail.
If I’m going to be accused of such a thing, I might as well go ahead and commit the crime.
I told him I knew he was having an affair with Selina
,
and that she was bord
erline lunatic in my opinion.’

‘And has he
got back to you?’ asked Morag.

‘No
t yet.’

At that moment my mobile, buried deep within the depths of my coat pocket, announced a text message.
I stopped
dead in my tracks
.
Curling my cold fingers
around the
phone, I withdrew
it.

‘Who’s
your message from
?’
asked
Nell.

I touched the screen.
‘
Talk of the devil.
It’s from
Stevie.’

‘Well go on then
,’ Morag urged. ‘O
pen it
.
’

I tapped the envelope icon.
And blanched.

‘What does t
he text say Cass?’ asked Nell.

Morag took the mobile
from me
.
‘
Here.
Let me
.
You always had a vivid imagination Cass
,
and now you are excelling yourself.
I am not having a relationship with Selina.
She is the sweetest girl I have ever
met
,
whereas
you are the biggest (in every sense of the word) cow I’ve ever had the misfortune to know.
So f
uck off
.’
Morag passed the phone back to me.
‘I’m flabbergasted.
I always thought you two had a
n amicable
relationship.
This is
completely out of character.’

‘I agree,’ said Nell.
‘Even when you were going through divorce, the pair of you always managed to be
friendly
enough.
What’s got into him?’

I stared at the mobile phone and re-read the message.
It didn’t ring true.
Particularly the words
you are the biggest (in every sense of the word) cow
.
Stevie might well have called me a cow in the past
, but only because
I refused to take him back after one affair too many.
But to say
biggest (in every sense of the word)
.
Well!
The words kept leaping
off the mobile’s screen and wallop
ing
me in the face.
That wasn’t how a man spoke.
It was bitchy talk.
Words
that
a woman might say.
A woman with an axe to grind.
I let out a shaky breath and looked from Nell to Morag.
‘This isn’t Stevie’s text.’

‘What do you mean it isn’t Stevie’s text?’ Nell fr
owned.
‘It says his name there!
’
S
he tapped the
contact name
.
‘Of course it’s
Stevie who sent you the text.’

‘It might be Stevie’s phone that sent the text, but Stevie isn’t the author.
He didn’t write this.’

‘Well who the bloody hell did?’ asked Morag.
Her eyes widened.
‘You don’t think–’

‘Yes.
Yes I do think.’

‘Am I missing something here?’ Nell
puckered her brow
.

‘This is Selina’s work.
’
I waggled the phone at Nell.
‘
Charlotte
was right.
Something
is
going on.
I think Stevie really is missing
.
’ I smacked my forehead with my palm.
‘Everything makes sense now – why he’s not telephoned work, and why he stood
Charlotte
up.
Charlotte
s
aid
Stevie
ha
d
n’t taken
as much as
a change of underwear
from his house.
Not even his toothbrush!
And he hadn’t
been home for days
,
because there was a
pile of mail on his doormat.’

Nell’s eyes were like saucers.
‘What do y
ou think has happened to him?’

‘Well,’ I blustered
.
‘I
t sounds utterly preposterous
.
But
I suspect kidnap.’

There was a resounding silence as we all stared at each other.
The word
kidnap
hung in the air.
It sounded incongruous.
Ludicrous.
Here we were standing in the middle of an ordinary park
,
on an ordinary winter’s day
.
T
hree mothers with our babies in
prams
and a dog peeing on an empty Mars bar wrapper
.
And yet the conversation was not
so much
ordinary
as
extraordinary.
The
abduction of a strapping great man
.
By a woman no less
.

‘And you truly suspect Selina is his abductor?’
Nell
was the first to speak.

‘I know it sounds absurd
.
’
I shrugged my shoulders helplessly.
‘But yes.
I think that
woman knows his whereabouts.’

‘Cass, before we all let our imagination run away with us
,’ said Morag, ‘
let’s just think this through
for a moment
.
’
W
e pushed off with the prams again, slowly this time
.
O
ur brains whirr
ed
with unanswered questions and possibilities.
Rocket headed along the tow path by the geese and swans.
We followed her.
‘If Selina really has abducted Stevie, what wou
ld be her motive?’

‘God
,
I don’t know.
The woman isn’t all there.
Ethan told Jamie in confidence that Selina had
recently
been behaving
rather
oddly.
He confided that she sees a psychiatrist and counsellor routinely
,
but hadn’t kept her last two appointments and wouldn’t talk about it.
Who kn
ows what her motive might be.’

‘Sex,’ suggested Nell.
‘There was a story years ago in the paper about a woman who used mink-lined handcuffs to kidnap a
nd ravish a burly missionary.’

‘But hang on a moment,’ said Morag.
‘We know that Stevie is more than willing to bonk Selina.
She doesn’t need to hold him prisoner for that.
If she’s kidnapped him, then I suspect the motive would be,’ she gave a worried l
ook, ‘somewhat more sinister.’

We all stopped walking again.
I felt a chill wash over me.
Like a premonition.
But not quite able to
put my finger on what it was.

‘Morag
,
are you hinting that Selina might want
to kill Stevie?’ I whispered.

‘This is madness
.
’
Nell rolled her eyes.
‘What would that daft bint gain by kill
ing Stevie?’

‘That,’ said
Morag,
‘is the sixty-four thousand dollar question.
Why indeed.’
She looked at me.
‘Any ideas Cass?’

‘No!’ I shook my head.
‘This is crazy.
We sound like frustrated women who have
overdosed
on too many detective movies.
It’s nonsense.
Rubbish.’
I straightened up.
‘I have to face facts.
I’ve simply received a nasty text from my ex.
He’s spent so much time bonking a bitch
,
he
’s
turned into one.
Hence his propensity to write bitchy texts.’

‘Let’s put that theory to the test,’ sai
d Morag.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘Reply to that text.
Send a message that appears to be playing along but,’ she held up a finger, ‘tests who we’re really talking to.
A message
which
–
for the real
Stevie
–
would make no sense
whatsoever.’

‘That,’ I breathed, ‘is a brilliant idea.
’
I hit the reply button
.
‘W
hat shall I write?’

‘
I know!’ Nell chirruped.
‘
Why don’t you text, “If you are the real Stevie, what are the m
iddle names of our children?”’

Morag and I stared at Nell in amazement.
‘No Nellie-Wellie,’ Morag enunciated.
‘We need to be discreet.
Without arousing suspicion.
Comprendez?’

‘But Nell does have a point
.
’ I smiled kindly at my old neighbour
.
‘Firstly, discussing
the twins is a legitimate reason to text
.
S
econdly
, using the twins as the topic should
reveal whether it is Stevie reading my messag
es.
I have an idea.
’
I began to tap.

S
orry to offend. You
r private life is
none of my business. Regarding
the
twins’ birthday next week – any preference on which restaurant to book for celebration
s
? Thanks.
Have a nice
day
.