Ben leaned forward on his elbows and pinned Ricky with a stern glare. “Fine, I’ll let it slide this one time, but if you let your sugar drop again, I’m calling your mother.”
Ricky paused mid-bite. “Did you just threaten to tell my mommy on me?”
“Damn right I did and I’m not ashamed. If you won’t listen to me, I know you sure as hell will pay attention to her.”
“That’s blackmail, you know?”
A slow grin spread over Ben’s face. “Damn straight it is and I don’t care.”
Ricky tried hard to work up some real anger, but failed. He knew that Ben only nagged because he cared. Plus, he did have a point. Ricky needed to pay better attention to his medical condition. He wouldn’t do his family any good if he slipped into a diabetic coma.
“Okay, I’ll be a good boy, but that means you have to take Malinda to her violin lesson tomorrow.”
Ben pulled a face. “God, are you trying to torture me? My mom forced me to take violin lessons for years, even though I hated the damn thing. If I go with Malinda, it’s likely to give me flashbacks.”
Ricky bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his laugher. He really did love Ben’s melodramatic side. “If you’d rather not, then you could take Lenny to his baseball game.”
That suggestion made Ben shudder. “No way! I’m never going back there again. The last time we went to one of his games, that one mom kept hitting on us. She had to have been at least twenty years older than us and she had more cleavage than the entire
Jersey Shore
cast combined.”
“She wasn’t
that
bad.”
“Are you kidding me? Did you forget how she kept speaking to me in a loud, slow voice? Dude, just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I wasn’t born in this country. I didn’t know whether to be amazed or angry at her ignorance.”
“Fine, I’ll take Lenny to the game. You’ll just have to risk the flashbacks and take Malinda.”
“Sounds like a plan and then we’ll all go out for dinner,” Ben added pointedly. “You need to look your best for Tanner tomorrow night.”
A heat came over Ricky’s face as he thought about the nurse and the mystery surrounding his disappearance. While Ricky couldn’t help but be excited over the prospect of seeing Tanner again, a small bit of worry nagged him. Where had Tanner been and why was he changing jobs? Somehow, Ricky had the feeling that the answers to those questions wouldn’t be good.
Chapter Two
“Damn, it,” Tanner cursed as he dropped the folder containing all his paperwork.
Given how his day was going, of course the thing had to fly open and scatter his documents all over the ER bay. He bit back another curse as he stooped down to pick them up. As it was, he was already running late, but he didn’t dare leave without them. They included his tax and licensing information.
“Here, let me help you with that,” a familiar voice called.
Tanner froze, heart hammering with anticipation as Ricky rushed over and knelt down next to him. The younger man wore a heavy coat over his usual, maroon scrubs and he looked just as damn cute as Tanner remembered.
Several locks of Ricky’s hair stood on end, almost as if they were begging Tanner to reach out and smooth them down. Even Ricky’s glasses made him all the more appealing, the frames adding the whole sexy-but-smart appeal to the guy.
Ricky scooped up the remaining papers, then grinned as he held them out to Tanner. “I think this is all of them.”
Tanner found himself unable to look away from that endearing smile. He swallowed hard before taking the documents from Ricky. “Thanks, I would have been lost without these.”
“I figured as much. Plus, you don’t want your personal information flying around for all of Pontiac to see.”
They both straightened and faced each other. Tanner knew he should get the hell away before he said or did something stupid, but he couldn’t seem to think of a way to make a graceful exit.
“It’s nice seeing you around here again,” Ricky said.
Tanner’s mouth grew dry as he struggled to come up with a good answer for that one. How exactly did one explain that he had to take some time away because he nearly had a nervous breakdown?
“Yeah, I had some personal things to attend to,” he replied, deliberately being vague.
Thankfully, that seemed to appease Ricky as he nodded. “Well, at any rate, I’m glad that you’re working here now.” Ricky flushed and then added, “What I mean is, it’s great to see a nice guy like you employed again. Because the job market is so bad and…well, you know…nobody should be without a source of income.”
Biting his bottom lip, Ricky looked briefly away before saying, “Anyway, I’m going to go inside before I say something else dorky.”
Even though he knew he should just let Ricky walk away, Tanner found himself reaching out to grab the man’s hand to stay him. “You’re not dorky.”
The blush on Ricky’s face grew a few shades darker. “Yeah, I am. That’s okay. You don’t need to lie to save my feelings.”
“So, how have things been with you?” Tanner asked.
Inside his head a voice shrilled,
Why in the hell are you engaging him in conversation? That will only lead to a load of questions you have no desire to deal with.
Ricky shrugged. “Just work and nothing much else. Ben tells me I really need to get a social life.”
The name, Ben, sounded familiar and Tanner scrambled to think of where he’d heard it before. He finally remembered that Ben was Ricky’s friend.
A jolt of unwanted jealousy nagged Tanner as he wondered just how close Ben and Ricky were. While Ricky had confessed to being single at one time, that was months ago. Things could have changed.
“So, does Ben tell you what to do all the time?”
One corner of Ricky’s lips kicked up into a half smile. “Well, since we’re roommates, he does tend to get bossy with me sometimes.”
Disappointment and the bitter sting of regret hit Tanner, making his gut ache. “Oh, so you’re really tight then?”
“Yeah, we have been for a while now.”
It dawned on Tanner that he was still holding onto Ricky’s hand. In fact, Tanner felt pretty certain that he’d been fanning the pad of his thumb over the guy’s palm. Great, nothing like a little public humiliation and low-grade groping to start off his new job. He cleared his throat and jerked his hand away.
“I should probably get inside. I don’t want to be late on my first day,” Tanner said, wishing to hell the conversation had never taken place.
Next time his inner monologue yelled at him to
Run! Run! Run!
he’d sure as hell better listen to it.
Ricky chuckled. “Yeah, Ben is going to be the one to train you, and you don’t want to get off to a bad start by making him wait.”
Great!
The fucking day just kept getting better and better. The only thing missing was a storm cloud that hovered only over Tanner’s head and followed him around everywhere.
“Can’t keep Ben waiting,” Tanner replied.
Even to his own ears, his voice sounded tight and overly cheerful. With that last bit of humiliation, he decided to leave while he still had at least a shred of dignity left. Nodding goodbye, he rushed through the ER’s double glass automatic doors.
The thing with him and bad days, though, once they got going they just kept rolling. So, when it was Trauma Bay One that caught his immediate attention, he really wasn’t too surprised.
He paused in front of the room that held too many bad memories, his heart pounding so hard it was a wonder the entire ER department didn’t hear it. He even started to breath a bit fast, not quite hyperventilating, but not too far away from it either.
Even though the white, tiled floor was presently so clean that it reflected the lights, he still saw the puddles of blood that once marred the surface. Shit, he could smell it, even though he knew that was impossible, since the blood in question had been spilled months ago.
God, why in the hell did he ever think that he’d be able to work here? Oh yeah… because he was dead broke and needed the income. While the hospital may hold a whole nightmare worth of bad feelings, at least he’d have a staff backing him up in case he fucked up again. Before, when he worked on the copter, it’d just been him and his partner, Chauncey. And on
that
day, Tanner hadn’t even had Chauncey, since the nurse had the day off. Instead, Tanner had been stuck with some rookie who hadn’t even known the difference between a nasal cannula or non-rebreather mask.
“There you are! I was beginning to think you were going to be a no show,” Ben exclaimed as he came walking down the corridor.
Tanner eyed up the slightly smaller man and tried to imagine how Ben and Ricky looked together. In the end, Tanner couldn’t help but think that Ricky would by far be the cuter of that pairing. While some might say that Ricky came off as a bit mousey, to Tanner, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, Ricky might sometimes have messy hair, and he did wear glasses, plus he sometimes stumbled around when having a conversation. To Tanner though, all those traits made Ricky so endearing and well…adorable.
Speaking of which, Tanner just bet that Ricky and Ben made a cute, frigging couple. However, Tanner wasn’t jealous, honest he wasn’t.
Liar! You’re almost sick from the thought of somebody else touching Ricky. In fact, if you were the caveman type, you’d probably run to radiology, throw Ricky over your shoulder and then grunt, mine!
Telling that damn voice to shut up, Tanner held up his slightly rumpled paperwork. “Sorry, I dropped this outside and had to clean it up.”
Ben smiled. “It’s okay, I was just giving you a hard time. Why don’t you follow me and I’ll show you around? I know you’ve been here a million times, but you’ve never been in backrooms and stuff.”
Tanner ran a nervous hand down the side of dark, blue scrub pants, then nodded. “Sure, that sounds good. Is there somewhere special I should turn in the paperwork?”
“We can swing by the nurse supervisor’s office and hand them off to her. She should have your name badge, too.”
Ben then led him around, giving a pretty detailed tour of the ER. Along the way, Ben also deemed it necessary to share some of the latest gossip about the staff. So, by the time they were finished, Tanner knew that Becky from the lab was going through a drama-filled divorce, Doc. Shelton’s wife had just left him for a bass player and the red-headed medic from Alpha 638 was a bitch who couldn’t follow protocol,
even if you put a leash on her and led the way.
Once they were finished, Ben led him to one of the side nurses’ stations. Leaning a hip against the counter, Ben asked, “So, do you have any questions?”
“Not right now. I’m sure I’ll have a million once we get started.”
“It’s all pretty routine. Well, I guess as routine as an ER can get. That’s one thing I love about this department, you never know when you’re going to get some excitement.”
“How long have you worked here?”
“Only a couple of years.” Ben studied him carefully before asking, “So, why did you decide to come here? I thought you liked working out in the field.”
Tanner’s gut clenched. Damn, it hadn’t taken long for that question to come up. Feigning indifference, he shrugged, “I just wanted a change is all.”
The look Ben gave him said the nurse didn’t buy that excuse, but thankfully he didn’t press the matter. “Well, I can tell you that Ricky was pretty excited when he heard you were employed here.”
“You should know, you are his roommate after all.”
Wow, Tanner hadn’t meant for that to come out sounding bitter, but damned if it hadn’t. Ben’s mouth parted in shock and he blinked a few times before he let out a soft chuckle. “This is just too precious.”
“What is?” Tanner snapped, even though he knew he should just end the conversation before it got even more out of hand.
“You’re jealous.”
“Am not.”
“Yes, and it’s because you still have a hard-on for him.”
Tanner shot off a scathing glare. “Do we really need to have this kind of discussion? We’re grown men, not a couple of teen girls chatting on
Skype
.”
Ben ignored the jab. Letting out a full-blown laugh, he said, “I can’t believe it. And here I didn’t think the whole classic big misunderstanding happened in real life. I thought it only occurred in romance novels and old
Three’s Company
reruns.”
“I’m so glad I can amuse you,” Tanner replied tightly, still having no clue what was so funny.
After a few more moments of that annoying laughter, Ben waved a hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of you. At least not on your first day. I just couldn’t help myself when I realized that you thought Ricky and I are a couple.”
“You’re not?”
Ben rolled his eyes. “No, we’ve been best friends since forever, but we’ve never been with each other like that.”
“Really?” Tanner asked, feeling like ten different shades of idiot.
“Yes, really.”
“Oh.”
“So, if you want to…talk to him, I would have no problem with that.”
God, how Tanner wanted to do that. So much so, he could almost taste it. During the brief interaction he’d already had with Ricky on the way in, Tanner had felt more alive than he had in months. Then, Tanner’s gaze flicked over to that damn trauma room and the familiar pains of regret slammed into him.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he mumbled.
Ben shook his head. “I don’t get you. It used to be that whenever you came to this hospital the first thing you did was seek Ricky out. Now you’ve turned almost anti-social.”
Then Ben’s gaze slid over to the trauma room and understanding dawned in his eye. “Oh, shit. You’re still upset about that girl dying.”
“Just leave it,” Tanner growled.
Of course, Ben didn’t. “That’s why you’ve been MIA, too, isn’t it? You blame yourself.”
Frustrated, hurt, and now angry, Tanner finally lost control. “Why shouldn’t I blame myself? She died under my watch.”
“But, that could have happened to any of us. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Oh yeah! How do you know that for sure? All I can think about is how I didn’t catch that she had that internal bleed. If I had…” he trailed off, unwilling to go down the all-too-familiar path of what-ifs. There would be plenty of time to do that after his next nightmare.