“Are you serious? Do you know what she did to me today?” I say, stepping into the dining room. I was hoping to see a smile on Mama's face, but she's dead serious about this one. “Why do I have to do this?”
“Because you started it, Jayd. Rule number two is to give full disclosure to the client, within reason of course. And asking for the ingredients of a charm made especially for her is within reason. Get to work. I want this settled before dinner.”
I can't believe I have to sit here and do more work for Misty after she called me out today. I'm going to be avoiding people for weeks to come over this mess, and now I have to do more work for her. Ain't this some shit?
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When I finish recording the ingredients of my “unwebbed” charm bag, I take the list to Mama for approval. After she finished in the kitchen, she went back into her room to rest, I assume.
“Mama,” I call through the closed door. “I'm finished with the list. You want me to check on the cornbread?” I push the door open to see Mama bent down at the shrine, deep in prayer.
“Forgive her, for she knows not what she does,” Mama says before she rises from the floor. Her eyes look glazed-over, but they're slowly coming back to awareness.
“Mama, I finished the list,” I repeat. Somehow, I don't think she heard me the first time I said it.
“Good. After you take the cornbread out of the oven, go and give the list to your client and come right back. And, whatever you do, don't look Esmeralda in the eyes.” She didn't have to tell me that again. I learned my lesson with her powers already. “And Jayd, make sure you taste the bread, you hear?”
“Okay, Mama. I'll be right back.” I close the bedroom door and head to the kitchen to take the cornbread out of the oven. She didn't have to tell me to taste it. That's one of the perks of being Mama's helper; taste tests belong to me. After I taste the sweet buttermilk bread I walk through the living room and out the front door to face my wrongdoing, with the charm bag and list in my pocket. If having to serve Misty isn't an ironic punishment, I don't know what is.
“Where are you going?” Jay says as he comes up the driveway from hanging out at one of his many surrogate homes. “You know you're not supposed to go over there,” he says, bending his head toward Esmeralda's house.
“Mama's orders,” I say, not wanting to get into detail with him about my mission. I pass him and walk across the small patch of grass dividing our driveway from hers. Most of the houses on our block only have the backyards fenced in, and ours is no exception. I bang my fist on the iron gate, making the birds squawk loudly and the cats wake up from their naps. This house gives me the chills.
“What do you want, witch?” Misty says, coming to the front door and standing at the gate. She's making this a very difficult task to complete. Why can't she just open the damn gate and let me handle my business?
“Misty, I came to give you this,” I say, holding up the bag and paper so she can see it clearly. “Per your request.”
“Leave it on the steps and I'll get it when you walk away,” she says. At first I think she must be joking, but after I wait a few more seconds for her to open the door, I see she's not. What does she think I'm going to do, hex her on the porch?
“Now you're just being stupid,” I say, tossing the items onto the steps, ready to go home and eat dinner. Before I can put the day behind me, Esmeralda and Misty's mom walk out of the house together, both staring me down. My headache returns as I try to focus on Misty's mother, but Esmeralda lures my eyes up with her strong gaze, forcing me to look up at her. Something's helping me look down. I can't explain it, but I feel like my eyes don't belong to me right now and I'm grateful for the assistance.
“What's wrong with you?” Misty says, watching me suffer. “Are you high or something?”
“No,” I barely manage to speak. “Esmeralda's got a hold on me and I can't move. I told you I'm not the witch, she is.” My headache is getting worse by the minute and I can't yell for Jay or Mama to help me. What the hell do I do now?
“Yeah right, Jayd. Stop being so dramatic and give it up. I know the truth about you and so will the entire school by the time I'm finished.” I barely hear Misty's threats as I try to focus on not looking at Esmeralda. Misty's mom stands next to Misty and they both stare at me in disgust, not concerned about my obvious discomfort. How can they be so clueless? I know my face has to show my pain.
“What's wrong with her?” Ms. Truewell finally says, seeing that I'm not going home.
“I don't know. She's always been strange, Mom, you know that.” Esmeralda stays planted at the threshold of her front door, not taking her eyes off me for a second.
“Go back inside, Esmeralda,” Mama says, shocking us all. Thank God she came to my rescue. I don't know how long I would have been able to hold off her lethal gaze.
“Your girl crossed the line, Lynn Mae, and you and I both know the rules,” Esmeralda says. Misty and her mom both look like they're in way over their heads. “She needs to be taught a lesson in manners and protocol.”
“I'll teach her everything she needs to know, don't you worry,” Mama says, having the final word. Esmeralda retreats into the house with her faithful clients following right behind her. Free from the painful hold, I turn around and walk slowly back to our yard. I know it's far from over with both Misty and Esmeralda.
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“I told you not to do work for people unless they request it,” Mama says, vigorously grating the coconut and preparing cocoa butter for my head cleansing. After the episode I just had, Mama immediately prescribed a
rogacion de cabeza
to help rid me of my headache permanently. “There are some things you can't help people out of, Jayd. This is bigger than you or Misty or Misty's mama. Their ill fate goes back for generations and unless they recognize that and want some help to clear it away, there's nothing we can do,” she says, mashing the two ingredients together to make a thick paste. “Trying to make potions and charms for people who don't desire change is about as helpful as putting a Band-Aid on a tumor.”
“Will her luck get worse because the gris-gris was removed?” I ask, rubbing my temples while I sit on the side of the bathtub, running warm water for my bath.
“It's not Misty's luck you need to be concerned with. You put that energy out there, now it's your responsibility to see it through. If you don't, the bad luck will be yours to deal with, not hers.” Mama's job is more serious than I ever knew it to be. No wonder she only takes on a few clients at a time.
“How do I reverse it?” I ask, ready to get this cleansing over with so I can eat dinner. The rest of the family has come home, and there may not be anything left by the time I get done.
“You pray,” Mama says, placing the sweet concoction on my head, then moving to my temples and the back of my head. I can feel it already working. “And you need to read up fully on Papa Legba. He can work for or against you, open the crossroads or close them, give you good luck or reverse it. He is the balancing force in nature and must be called upon very respectfully. Otherwise, he'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget.”
“So I see,” I say. Mama lifts my chin and looks me in the eyes. I see my reflection through her view. She's right; I need to slow it down. It's not my job to save the world and it damn sure isn't my job to save Misty.
“You're a queen in training, Jayd. Don't be in such a hurry to show off your crown. The time will come sooner than you think. Now, remember that as you take your bath this evening. Go on and get started. There are some clean whites in my closet when you finish. And don't worry, I'll set aside a plate for you in my room.”
Mama's got a good point. I knew Misty wouldn't be receptive to any kind of help I offered her, but I did it anyway and now I'm the one in need of assistance. Rah's been blowing me up since I got home, and so have my girls. I'll call Rah before I go down for the night. But I don't know what to say to my girls. Maybe they can help me through this madness, because right now I'm feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and I need some help carrying it. After all, that's what friends are for. And God knows I've helped my girls out of many sticky situations. Now it's my turn to be saved.
15
All in My Head
“I'm a movement by myself/ But I'm a force when we're together.”
-FABOLOUS FT. NE-YO
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fter Wednesday's commotion, I hid out all day yesterday and plan on doing the same thing today. The news of me putting a spell on Misty spread through the main campus as well, giving me no place to hide from people's gawking eyes. I haven't had a chance to catch up with my girls, who seem both concerned and afraid. And truthfully, I still don't know what to say to them. I can't tell them all about my lineage yet. But I'm going to have to give them something.
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“Jayd, why are you avoiding us?” Nellie says as she and Mickey approach me outside of my English class.
“Yeah, girl. We've been calling you for the past two days and you haven't returned any of our messages,” Mickey says, sporting her new phone for the world to see.
“New gift from your man?” I say, avoiding their inquisition and passing them both up, ready to grab a snack. I didn't spend any time outside yesterday and missed eating my customary Snickers as nutrition. I'll have to make up for that by eating a king-sized one today.
“Yeah, Nigel,” she says, caressing the burgundy phone like it's a newborn baby. “He got us matching phones. Now we're in each other's networks.”
“Your man didn't have anything to say about that?” I ask, leading the way to the main hall.
“She didn't tell him,” Nellie says, wiping the smile right off of Mickey's face. “But for real, Jayd, what's going on with you and Misty? Did you really try to kill her with that bag?”
“If you did, I don't blame you,” Mickey says, making us all laugh. I'm glad they're not tripping like I thought they would. “But, real talk though, Jayd. You need to tell us what you're up to.”
“Yeah,” Nellie says. “I don't need to know everything. Just enough to know what's going on in that little head of yours.” She puts her arm around my shoulders. She feels like she's gained some of her weight back from her popularity starvation fast with Tania. I'm glad to have my girls back to normal, or as normal as we can be.
“Yeah, because we didn't know what to say when Misty came up to KJ with that little brown bag, talking about her neighbor saw you bury it behind her door. My first instinct was to call her a lying bitch. But when you verified her story, I didn't know what to think.”
“Don't you think if I could've gotten rid of Misty by now that she'd be long gone?” I say, joining the long line of hungry students all waiting to get our midmorning sugar fix.
“You've got a good point,” Nellie says, sitting on one of the benches by the snack stand as Mickey joins me in line.
“You don't want anything?” I ask Nellie while Mickey reads the menu.
“No. I'm saving all of my calories for lunch. Chance is taking me to get some Chinese food at the mall. Want to come?”
“I wish I could but I have rehearsal.” I miss hanging out with my friends at lunch. Reid and Laura being my new companions doesn't make the time go by any quicker. Chance is lucky he's not in the lead role. He gets a lot more freedom from the stringent rehearsal schedule than I do. But it'll all be worth it when I receive my standing ovation opening night.
“Earth to Jayd,” Mickey says. The lady behind the counter looks at me impatiently, as if I've been staring into space for five minutes. “What are you having, girl? You should've let me order first because I'm hungry.”
“A king-size Snickers and a bottled water please,” I say, sliding my money across the counter in exchange for my treats. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't afford to buy much more than this. Mickey's got two men buying her things and I can't even afford lunch.
“Me too,” chimes in Mickey. “And I'll take a bag of Ruffles.”
“Damn, Mickey. You keep eating like that and you're going to blow up.” Nellie's always so health conscious, but as long as we've known Mickey, she's never gained any weight.
“This one's on me,” Nigel says, sneaking up behind Mickey and paying for the both of us. I'm glad they've reconciled for now. It makes things easier for all of us when everyone in our crew is getting along.
“Hey ladies,” Chance says as he and Jeremy take a seat next to Nellie. Why is Jeremy still hanging with us when he and I aren't an item anymore? And after Wednesday's drama with Misty, and Rah's possessiveness toward me, I was sure he'd run for the hills.
“How's everything going, Jayd?” Jeremy says, taking a swig of his Arizona Tea. Mickey and Nigel sit on the end of the bench, forcing me to sit next to Jeremy. I'm not ready to talk to him about this, not yet.
“Everything's good,” I say. His devious smile lets me know he's not going to let the subject drop. And he has all of next period to bug me to death about it, even if we will be testing.
“Not really,” KJ says, walking up to me with his boys right behind him.
“What's your problem?” Jeremy says as he, Chance and Nigel rise to my defense. I know he's not about to start some more shit with me over Misty.
“My problem is I haven't heard from Misty since Wednesday. What did you do to her this time, Jayd, huh?” he says, lunging at me as Jeremy pushes him back, giving me a rush I didn't expect to feel.
“I don't know anything about Misty and I don't want to. I'm officially out of it,” I say, opening my candy bar and taking a bite. I wish I could bite him, but then people would really be talking about me, and my ears are already burning from the gossip circulating.
“Whatever, Jayd,” KJ says, allowing his boys to hold him back. Being athletes, they each have something too valuable to lose if they fight. “If I find out you had anything to do with Misty's absences, you'll regret it.”
“Did you just threaten her?” Nigel says, stepping forward in full assault mode. Mickey jumps in front of him, blocking his attack. “If you even so much as look in Jayd's direction I'll kick your ass. You hear me KJ?”
“You won't be the only one,” Jeremy says, stepping into KJ's face. They are almost the same height, breathing in each other's faces. KJ takes one more look at me before withdrawing his attack and heading back to South Central.
“Thanks, you guys,” I say. I can't believe how they all came together for me. Well, all except for Nellie, who stared in amazement at the spontaneous scene. Saved by the bell, we all gather our backpacks and snacks, heading away from the quad and off to class.
“You're going to have to put us on payroll if you're going to need bodyguards now, Lady J,” Chance says, giving everyone a much needed laugh.
“I got all of y'all, for real,” I say, looking back at my mismatched crew, each with our pictures from the Masquerade Ball dangling from our keychains, Jeremy being the only exception. The only person missing is Rah, who I'll see after school. We weren't able to get together yesterday to make his gris-gris, so I packed the ingredients in my overnight bag, ready to hook him up this weekend.
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When Rah picks me up I'm relieved to leave the busy campus. I'm supposed to braid his hair and hang out with our homies, like nothing ever happened. I hope my weekend can stay drama-free. But like most illusions, this fantasy is all in my head too. If I didn't have to face Marty at work, I might have a chance at being peaceful. But I doubt that'll happen.
“Well don't you look cute,” Rah says, pulling up to the curb and unlocking the door so I can get in. Mickey, Nigel, Nellie, and Chance are already gone for the day. Rah's running a little behind, but that can be expected in Friday LA traffic.
“You like?” I say, modeling my sleeveless yellow shirt and jeans for him. I even wore my hair down, for a change. I felt like being pretty for myself today. I was tired of hiding. And, other than not following the rules, I didn't do anything wrong and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
“Very much,” he says, kissing me as I make myself comfortable in the passenger's seat. “Sorry I'm late, but I had to meet with Kamal's teacher after school. He decided it would be fun to start a water fight at lunch.”
“Hey Jayd,” Kamal says from the backseat. “I got in trouble at school,” he says, sounding as cute as ever. I admire Rah for being such a good big brother. It takes a real man to stand up and take on responsibility, even it means sacrificing life as you know it. Jeremy could learn a thing or two from him.
“I thought I told you to be good when I saw you last weekend,” I say, turning around in my seat to see his snaggle-toothed smile shining back at me. “What happened?”
“A girl, that's what,” Rah says, making Kamal blush. “He's got a crush on some little hottie and instead of hollering at her, he decided to spray her with water.”
“Sounds familiar,” I say, recalling the first time Rah wanted to talk to me in the seventh grade. “You remember what you did, don't you?” I say, making Rah blush too. It's hard to see the rosy cheeks through their dark complexions, but I know they're red with embarrassment.
“No, and neither do you if you want to eat. What do you have a taste for?” he says, pulling off toward Pacific Coast Highway, our usual route home.
“You,” I say, slipping my left hand under his right, which is comfortably resting on his thigh. I am in need of an escape and Rah is the only one I want to take with me right now. Rah looks pleased with my choice.
“I want pizza,” Kamal says, making my stomach growl.
“Everyone's getting what they want tonight,” Rah says, relaxing in his seat as we join the traffic. “We'll order a few extra pies for the session tonight. Do you need to go to your mom's first, or can we go straight to my house?”
“Your house is cool,” I say, getting my phone out of my bag to send my mom a text. I wish I could invade her thoughts as easily as she does mine. When I flip my phone open, I see Jeremy has sent me a text.
“I miss you Lady J. We can still hang out as friends. Hit me back soon. J.”
“Is everything okay?” Rah says. If he only knew the half of it. I hate to admit that I'm still attracted to Jeremy, but my love for Rah is the real thing and I don't want to mess this up.
“Yeah, everything's fine. I just forgot about something,” I say, closing out the message before locating my mom's number in my contact list.
“Don't forget about my charm. Now you got me all hyped up,” he says, sounding like he's about to get a new puppy or something.
“We'll do it when we get to your house. I brought all the stuff with me.” I need to be making myself some charms, as much trouble as I keep finding myself in.
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“You think so? Imagine what would happen if you'd put all of your talent and energy into helping yourself instead of other people? Why would you waste it on a girl who's proven herself your enemy time and time again?”
my mom says in my head. I guess she got my message.
“Yes I did, and it's cool if you don't come straight to my house. Karl's coming over for dinner tonight anyway. Tell Rah I said hi.”
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“My mom sends her greetings,” I say, folding my phone and putting it back into my purse. Jeremy and I have some unfinished business to deal with and I'm going to have to face it sooner or later. Why is there always baggage in relationships?
“Damn, that was fast. I have to get your service,” he says. He can't get with this network unless he's a Williams woman. And no matter how anyone else feels about it, I'm proud to be one of the few.
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Today's one of those days I wish I didn't have to be at work. I ended up sleeping over at Rah's house and getting dressed there on the weekends has become second nature. I even have my own towels in his bathroom. It's so nice having a dude around who's not constantly pressuring me to have sex. It makes it easy to be myself around him and he appreciates me the way I am.
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“Jayd, can I talk to you for a moment?” Summer says, signaling Sarah to take over the register for the first time since Marty put her in the kitchen a couple of weeks ago. I know Summer wants to talk to me about my schedule. I already made up my mind that if they don't secure my regular sixteen hours, I'm quitting. What I don't understand is why she waited until the end of the day to deal with this. She and Shahid have been in the office all day, probably picking out matching bathing suits for their upcoming vacation. And I'm not hating on them. I just don't think it's fair that we have to suffer for their happiness. I follow Summer into the office where Shahid and Marty are waiting. Here we go again.
“Have a seat, Jayd,” Shahid says in a sour voice. He's never used that tone with me. I wonder what's going on. “Jayd, your register has been consistently short for the past two weekends. The receipts don't match the cash in the drawer. Can you explain this?” Shahid says. Summer takes a seat next to Marty and I feel outnumbered by a pack of wolves. I see there was more than one witch hunt represented in my dream.