“I’m famished, now please!”
“Where?”
“You pick,” I said. I was up for anything at this point as long as I got food.
I reached for the radio and turned on my favourite station. ‘Frozen’ was playing, “Maybe we should skate to Frozen for a show program when we win the Olympics! It could lead to an immediate contract with ‘Disney on Ice.’”
“You sound confident we’re going to win,” he appeared pleased.
“Just think about it, I still have the Elsa dress and if you grew your hair and dyed it you could be Kristoff! Or, If you leave your hair the way it is now you could be Olaf!”
“So you saying I look like Olaf?”
“Maybe,” I purred. The golden arch caught my attention and I started swatting his arm, “Pull over, pull over!”
“What?”
“McD’s! Mom never lets me eat there!”
“Drive thru or eat in?”
“Drive thru.”
He pulled into the line, “What do you want?”
“I’ll have one, no make that two Big Mac’s, a chocolate milkshake, and a large fries!”
He smirked, “Seriously, you want all that?”
“Seriously, all that!”
“In front of me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Its sheer gluttony! Girls get salads with strips of chicken overtop.”
“I’m not ‘girls’ and this is McDonalds! I’ll pay for yours”
“No, I’ve got it.”
“Please let me, I haven’t given you gas money.”
“I won’t argue with you, you might stop talking to me again!”
“There was good reason for that, as a matter of fact, you’re lucky I’m talking to you right now after what you did at the party.”
“I’m calling you out on double standards, didn’t you tell me that you fucked Adam,” he defended himself.
“He was my boyfriend at the time, you didn’t even know her.”
“So what do you care?”
“Whatever, I don’t! You could have gotten that chick pregnant and YOU would have sacrificed our partnership. It goes both ways.” I said in self defence. The argument was deadlocked, no point in carrying it on.
The speaker interrupted us, ‘Can I take your order?’
Ryan talked into it, “3 Big Macs, 2 Medium chocolate shakes, two large fries please.”
“Did you want to supersize it sir?”
“Didn’t I?”
“Not the Milkshakes,”
“That’s fine!”
The lady showed up in the window, “24.99 Please.”
Ryan handed her the twenty-five dollars I gave him, and then he turned back to me.
There was an uncomfortable silence in the car, “The girl in the car meant NOTHING TO ME,” he admitted.
“That makes me feel so much better,” I said sarcastically. “You got mad at me for jeopardizing our partnership and you turn around and do the exact same thing,” I repeated.
“She can’t get ME pregnant and we weren’t UN-protected,” he grinned. He looked so cute when he smiled like that. I focused on the food to distract me.
“T.M.I! I don’t care what you do, okay?”
“You do or you wouldn’t have stopped talking to me for a month!”
“WHATEVER! I’m over it.”
His voice went serious, “Are you?” he asked. I could feel his eyes looking at me. I couldn’t return his stare because we both knew, I wasn’t.
The Hotel
We checked in to our tenth floor suite overlooking tranquil Lake Placid. Our room was quaint with two small maple chairs and a small table in-between overlooking the water. Our queen sized beds had tacky baby blue comforters with floral vector patterns, and a 42 inch l.e.d. t.v. was mounted to the wall that was state of the art eight years ago. The bathroom was small a tub doubling as a shower, but we could have been staying in a cardboard box and would have been happy JUST because we were parentless!
Ryan and I began taking our costumes out from their zipped hanger bags and unpacked our clothes into the dresser provided to us.
“Which bed do you want?” I asked.
”Whichever one you’re in.” he said.
“Oh my, that would be a conflict of interest, definitely not in our ‘equation,’” I teased.
I took a gloriously long shower using their little complimentary soapies before I returned in my pyjamas. He was on the bed closest to the door, so I walked past him to take the window bed. With phone in hand, I was determined to placate my social media withdrawal from the long road trip. Ryan rolled his eyes at the sight of me and disappeared into the bathroom. I texted mom first:
Dalia: Mom, We’re here. Tell dad I said hi. We R going 2 bed soon. Tired from the drive. Xoxo.
Mom: Glad U made it there safely. Text 2morrow. xoxo
I texted Sierra and Tara together:
Dalia: We made it!
Sierra: That’s great!
Tara: Cool! Good luck!
Sierra: Ya, Good luck!
Dalia: Thanks! Going 2 bed now. Will text U after the short program.
He came out of the bathroom wrapped with a towel loosely around his waist. I pretended not to notice but my eyes were drawn to him and I caught him looking back at me through the mirror.
I cleared my throat, “You should text your mom and Jer telling them we got here okay.”
“You text them,” he ordered, gently tossing his phone in my direction. I let his phone land on the ugly yet plush comforter before picking it up.
“Should I tell them it’s me?”
“Let them think its me,” he advised. “It’s easier than explaining.”
It felt weird texting under Ryan’s i.d. but they would be wondering if we got here okay, and clearly he couldn’t be bothered telling them.
I started texting his mother first just as he dropped his towel to the floor standing naked with his back turned to me. I could see EVERYTHING in his reflection, “Shy?” I teased. I forced my eyes down to continue texting, not wanting him to know he captured my full attention.
“Separate beds?” He asked.
“Separate,” I confirmed stubbornly.
Hesitating he remained naked for one more way too brief fraction of a second before putting on a pair of pyjamas. I sort of had to remind myself to breath, in out, in out. I typed quickly not wanting to miss another second of looking at his body:
Ryan: Hi mom, we R here safe. I will text U 2morrow after the short program.
Sara: Good luck!
Ryan: Thanks mom. Goodnight.
Sara: Goodnight Dear.
Then I texted Jer:
Ryan: We’re in Placid now.
Jer: Did you bang her yet?
Ryan: No should I?
Jer: Fuck ya, She’s hot!
All of a sudden I didn’t want to text for him anymore. It wasn’t fun.
“Were you planning on ‘banging’ me Ryan?” I asked offensively, tossing his phone onto the foot of my bed. He retrieved it and laid next to me bending the pillow so he was sitting more upright before reading the text. He turned his phone off and placed it on the night table beside him. It was taking everything in me not to tear up out of anger over Jer’s rude comment. I wanted to be anywhere else except next to him right now.
He looked at me vehemently and said, “I would never ‘bang’ you. Jeremy is just being an ass. I can’t control what HE writes.”
My eyes locked with Ryan’s confrontationally, “It’s obviously not the first time you’ve talked this way about me to him. What have you said?”
“You don’t want to know,” he belittled it. His voice got quieter and he sounded embarrassed. He secretiveness had me wanting to know more.
“Tell me” I pushed. The longer he took to answer the worse my imagination became. I respected him, but obviously it wasn’t mutual or his friend wouldn’t have addressed him that way. Clearly I meant nothing to him like that girl in the car that he ‘banged’. When he didn’t answer, I turned off the light and rolled away from him, on my side. I tear rolled down my cheek, but he didn’t get a chance to see it because I had already turned the light out and rolled away from him. He would have mistakenly attributed it to feeling sad when I was feeling angry towards him.
The mattress moved and his pillow moved but I couldn’t see what he was doing. Then he was pressed hard against me talking into my hair, “I told him I’m in love with you.” I closed my eyes to absorb what he said and then I asked him to repeat it. He whispered into my ear, “I’m in love with you, Dalia” sending the most intense chill down my spine.
He pulled my left shoulder down so I was laying flat in the bed and then he rolled over top of me. It was dark in the room so I couldn’t see him but his face was really close to mine because I could feel his breath. The weight of his body pushed me deeper into the mattress and then he said for a third time, “I’m in love with you.” I wished I could look into his eyes but his voice made me feel what he was saying all over. It was something I’ve wanted to hear from him all along, and I never even knew it.
His mouth found mine and his lips pressed softly and slowly against me. His hands cradled my face and that’s when he found my secret tear. I felt his hesitation. He wiped my face and told me, “Don’t cry.” His kisses became more demanding, his tongue exploring me at his pace. His stubble scratched my cheeks as we kissed, but I liked it. I placed my hands on his jawline feeling it tighten and move with every kiss as he consumed me.
I pulled away from him for a second and said, “Ryan, you better go to bed before this goes too far. This isn’t in our equation, I’m trying to make this easier on you.” I said completely shocked over my own will power.
He pulled away from me and sort of hovered over me in the dark, “You’re kicking me out of bed?” he asked in disbelief.
“One of us has to be strong, we’re competing tomorrow.” (That really pissed him off.) I felt the comforter move and the bed lift and the washroom door slam closed.
He came back into the room after a few minutes and went to his own bed to go to sleep. I felt warm inside and I kept hearing him over and over again in my head, ‘I’m in love with you.’ It was the happiest I ever felt before going to sleep.
He’s in love with me!
Competition Day 1
I peaked out to find the rink full of spectators. I was dressed in my black competition dress covered in rhinestones. My makeup was dramatic and beautiful so it could be seen from a distance.
Coach Hicks came up to me wearing his usual jacket and a coaches pass hanging around his neck. He grabbed me and took me to Ryan’s change room minutes before we were called out onto the ice. He wished us good luck hugging us and gave us a quick pep talk while leaving his arm around my shoulders.
Hicks said to Ryan and I, “You’re competing against seven other couples. If you make it into the top two, you’re one step closer to that Olympic podium, so make this count! You either make it this year, or you’re going to have to wait four more years and anything can happen in those four years. Remember, stay in the zone.”
Ryan’s look of determination and concentration could be felt just standing next to him. We began limbering up separately by stretching our arms and legs as much as possible off the ice so our warm up time on the ice wasn’t wasted on simple maneuvers.
We were called out onto the rink with three other couples. Ryan’s arm slid around my waist and we began warming up. It was quiet in the arena with the exception of the sound of our blades breaking through the ice with each step and the fans calling out their favourite couples names. People were also clapping when difficult elements were successfully landed.
Ryan and I focussed on our most difficult throw jumps and lifts. We heard someone call out or names and we both glanced in the same direction to find Tara, Sierra, and Jer watching us from the stands. We waved at them and then the announcer warned, “Last minute of warm-up.”
We skated over to Coach Hicks, “I want you to do side by side triple toe’s and then take it easy for the remainder of the minute, you’re the first to compete so you need to rest.” We did what he told us, and when I looked over at Ryan I noticed he hadn’t landed cleanly. We skated back to Coach Hicks and he told Ryan, “You were leaning.”
The announcer said, “Warm up is over.” The skaters left the ice leaving me and Ryan alone.“Our first competitors coming from the Toronto Skating Club is Ryan Kennedy and Dalia Middleton!” Everyone clapped and we heard Jeremy, Tara, and Sierra call out, “Yay Ryan and Dalia!” We took our spot on the ice and waited for our music to play. I looked into Ryan’s eyes and he said to me, “We’ve got this,” just before our program started.
We made one mistake, Ryan screwed up his landing on the side by side triple toe, over-rotating it on his landing foot like he did in practice. The crowd made a disappointed noise when it happened but applauded warmly when we were done. We knew that one mistake in the short program was enough to cost us the championship at this competition. We immediately hoped for silver.
We skated off to the kiss and cry waiting for our marks while the little boys and girls called sweepers went onto the ice to collect flowers and stuffed animals that spectators threw down for us.
Ryan’s forehead was covered in sweat and he was breathing heavily. Coach Hicks met us at the Kiss and Cry and we sat together in anticipation for our judgment. I smiled and waved at the cameras and Ryan followed suit but his anger over his own mistake was visible on his face. Our marks were announced and then the focus turned onto the next couple.
We split up to change back into our normal clothes and met outside my change room. Coach Hicks looked at Ryan, “Put it behind you and focus on tomorrow. Dalia, great job! Off to my massage now! See you kids in the morning!”
“What does he need a massage for?” I asked sarcastically. “We are the ones who skated!” Ryan didn’t laugh at my joke or say anything to me. He was too busy beating himself up. “Let’s go find Jer and them. We can invite them back to our room for a few hours,” I suggested. His eyes were dark with disappointment. “Ryan, seriously, you have to put that mistake behind you or it will affect how you skate tomorrow.”
“Text them to meet us where we’re staying, it will be easier than finding them here,” he said under his breath.
“Sure,” I agreed. I texted Tara knowing they were together: