Lord Meki uttered a sharp oath, and went to a cupboard in the corner, doing something out of Kei’s sight but returning with a glass of water. “Drink this,” he said with rather more gentleness in his tone than before. Kei clutched the glass and gulped a little water, trying not to be sick. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise what was wrong with you.... I didn’t mean to....”
Kei held out his hand to stop him apologising. “Don’t.... Can you just...be calm...? Let me calm down.”
“Of course. Do you want me to leave?” Kei shook his head. “Then I’ll just read your notes.”
Long minutes passed. Kei closed his eyes, tried to breathe evenly and relax. He wished Arman were here to help, but at the same time, the way this conversation had started, Kei was quite glad he wasn’t.
It took him even longer than when he’d first come into the room, but finally he felt he could speak normally. “I’m all right now,” he said in a low voice.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, my lord,” he muttered, looking at his hands. He wished he could escape. He still felt sick, and Lord Meki’s words were ringing in his ears.
“I apologise most sincerely, Kei. I’ve made the kind of error which most irritates me in others—I’ve failed to properly do my research.” Kei looked up to find Lord Meki staring at him intently. “Would it pain you to explain exactly what your problem is, and how General Arman fits into this?”
“No.” It was easier to talk about this when he wasn’t looking at those sharp eyes, and he tried to tell the sorry tale as quickly and as neutrally as possible. “I’m sorry I’ll be the cause of hurting Darshian...I didn’t mean to...I just wanted to be able to go home, my lord. This seemed the only answer.”
“Yes. Again I apologise, and especially for being so aggressive. Damn,” he said, laying the papers down with a sigh. “I thought....” Kei looked up and the man smiled ruefully. “To be honest, I thought I’d just need to exercise a little moral and intellectual pressure on a simple villager to get my way. I had no idea.... Of course you have no choice, not at the moment, not if you want to go home which of course you have every right to do. But let me ask you this—is that what you really want?”
“My lord?”
“Do you want to go back to your village and that be an end to it? Because your academy reports were extremely complimentary, you know. And with your background and your abilities...well, losing the general isn’t the only waste.”
Kei couldn’t think about any of this now, and he wished the Ruler would leave him alone—hadn’t he already done enough for Darshian? “I just want to go home, my lord,” he repeated quietly. “You don’t know what it was like to be unable to do so, to be afraid all the time I would never see them again.” He looked down at the desk again, remembering that time of despair, especially those weeks after the others died. He clenched his fist and tried not to let his emotions unbalance him again.
“Yes, of course,” Lord Meki said kindly. “But will you always feel this way? Once you’ve recovered, and you’ve spent time with your family, will you be content, do you think? We could offer you so many more opportunities here, and you could serve Darshian and your clan at the same time.”
“I don’t know, my lord. At the moment, I’m concentrating on getting our people home. I can’t even think of anything else...well, other than Arman,” he said, making the effort to smile.
“No, I imagine not. I think it’s best for now to forget this ill-timed conversation, and do what you need to recover, let the general help you as I know he desperately wants to do. But...if I should ask again in a few months’ time...or we need to call on either of you...I beg you, please consider my words. This report, that text you’re writing...you have a good mind. An unusual one. The general is similar in many respects. Such things are almost as rare as true Gifts, and you know how we value those.”
He stood up and walked to the window. “I don’t say this to flatter you. I say this because the time ahead for Darshian, with the Prij as enemies or at peace, will need all the talent we have if our nation is not to fall prey to new and greater threats. I don’t want this country to be dependent on our Gifted for its defence. It’s too risky, too prone to chance and human vagaries as you’ve seen with Reis. I want our defence, our education, our medical knowledge, our science, our engineering, to be the best we can possibly have. I want the academy to find the kind of answers your parents spent so much of their lives looking for, and more. And I want you and your general there, and in the government.”
Kei could only look at the Ruler in open-mouthed astonishment. “I’m just...I’m too young, my lord.”
Lord Meki snorted. “You were old enough for us to send into the mouth of danger, my boy. You’re old enough to take on the responsibility of your village’s health, and to bring General Arman to us. I know men three times your age with a tenth of your brains. As I said, forget this conversation, and don’t trouble the general with it, unless you feel you must. But I’ll send out a call to you one day, Kei. I hope you will consider answering it.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Now, go on back to him. By the way, that was nicely done with Reis. No one else could get through to him.”
“Because everyone else was trying to bully him, “ Kei said, a touch acerbically. “He has a right to his grief—a man’s life isn’t a trivial burden. He’s upset he’s regarded as a weapon or a tool and so he should be. Please try to remember the people behind the Gifts, my lord.”
Lord Meki was actually a little chastened. “Yes, I’ll try to. I didn’t want to agree to the general’s request concerning you, you know.”
“Yes, I know,” Kei said, looking directly at the Ruler. “Why did you?”
“Because the man’s no fool, so I took a chance that he knew what he was doing. Now I believe he did.” Kei had no reply to this, so he just nodded. “We have three days left to us—I want you to spend as much of that time recovering, resting and doing whatever you can to strengthen yourself. Consider that a direct order from your Ruler.”
“Yes, my lord—I believe the general has this in hand.”
Lord Meki smiled suddenly, a tight thin-lipped smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Yes, I imagine he does. Goodnight to you.”
Kei bowed and left the room, feeling rather as if he’d been pummelled with bean sacks. He didn’t know whether to tell Arman about the discussion or not. On the whole, he thought not. He had told the bare truth to the Ruler. He just wanted to get the hostages home. Talk of being at the Academy or elsewhere was ridiculously premature when none of them knew what would happen to them in eleven days’ time. If they survived that, then perhaps he would tell Arman. Until then, well, he was under orders to recover. And that meant being with the man he loved, so that was where he would go right now.
~~~~~~~~
Arman concentrated on Captain Mejka’s words, but a small part of him was keeping an eye on the doorway through which he’d seen Lord Meki lead Kei a few minutes ago. He didn’t know why the Ruler would need private words with his lover, and he couldn’t help worrying. It was with no small amount of relief that he saw Kei reappear. He looked a little pale but composed, and when Reji peeled away from the conversation he was having with Neris to come to his friend’s side, Kei smiled and let Reji take his arm. Arman was even more relieved to see Reji urging Kei to come over to Arman. He rose to greet them. “Are you all right?” he asked. Now he was closer, he saw Kei really was pale. “Sit, please.”
His lover needed no prompting. Reji stood behind him, looking worried. “I’m all right. I was talking to Reis—he was upset,” Kei murmured.
Ah, that explained it. Arman relaxed. “Of course. Reji—I wonder if there are any pastries left, perhaps some juice?” He wished there was some wine, but it wasn’t often served here, apparently. Neither beer nor distilled spirits were deemed suitable for this meal. Reji took the hint, and, squeezing Kei’s shoulder, left to find them some refreshment.
Kei turned to Mejka in apology. “Please don’t let me interrupt you.”
“It’s all right, lad, we’re nearly done,” the sea captain said. “Talking to Reis, were you? How did he seem?”
Kei looked at Arman as he answered the captain’s question. “He’s agreed to come. But I want people to stop trying to push him around. It’s very unfair—he’s not in the army, you know.”
There was a slight rebuke in Kei’s eyes and his voice, and Arman accepted it. “Yes, I’m sorry. People are just very anxious, and not as careful as they should be of someone sensitive. Thank you for speaking to him.”
“It wasn’t planned,” he said quietly. “Please, continue. I’ll just wait here if you don’t mind.”
So Arman did as he asked, with Kei leaning against him slightly, close enough it was obvious they were lovers, but not in a manner which anyone here would object to. Certainly the captain didn’t mind at all, and continued as if they’d hardly been interrupted. Kei was content to just listen, and when Reji returned, accepted a share of the food and drink passed around with quiet thanks. Reji’s return meant the talk turned to the animal transport and other matters, and after a little while Kei joined in, his colour now better and his spirit, though somewhat subdued, was not alarmingly low.
When another naval officer joined Mejka, and it was obvious the discussion would continue for some time, Arman excused himself for a moment to take Kei and Reji aside. “This is going to take a while and it’s nothing you need to be involved in. Perhaps you’d like to return to our room, have an early evening?” Kei nodded. “Reji, if you aren’t needed, you could keep him company—I’m sure it’s dull for you on your own.” That earned him a smile from his lover, and a surprised look from his lover’s friend. “Go on,” he said to Kei. “I could be hours and you’ve already done good work.”
Kei touched his arm. “Are you sure I’m not needed?”
“Yes—you’ve given your report and Lord Meki is happy with it, and you’ve spoken to Reis for which we all thank you. If there are any matters arising which need your attention, I’ll make notes and we can look at them tomorrow. You and Reji don’t need to be bored by all this, and you’ve hardly had any time to talk, I know. Just go.” He squeezed Kei’s hand, then looked at Reji. “I won’t mind if you want to wait up with him,” he said, hoping the older man would take his meaning clearly.
“Thank you, gen...Arman,” Reji said, and that made Kei smile. “Come on, Keichichi, these things are no fun if you can’t dance.”
“I’ll be sure to pass that on to Lady Nera,” Arman said gravely, which only made Reji grin. “I’ll see you later, both of you.”
Reji took Kei’s arm and led him away. Arman hoped it was merely the after effect of the talk with Reis, and perhaps the lingering symptoms of the concussion that made Kei so quiet. He looked across the room where Lord Meki and Lady Jilki were in close conversation. He hoped Lord Meki had been gentle with his lover. Kei didn’t need any more people to be afraid of.
~~~~~~~~
Kei closed the door behind them with a sigh of relief. “You know, it would be a lot easier not to worry about you if you didn’t keep disappearing off with people and coming back looking like reheated shit,” Reji said, taking his arm and making him sit at the desk. “And your general must really be worried if he’s throwing me at you. I’m surprised he didn’t get up to tear the hide off his lordship.”
Kei shook his head. “He doesn’t realise it was Meki. I let him think it was talking to Reis, which didn’t help, it was true.” His head pounded, but he was rather proud of the fact he had managed to keep his composure pretty well even after Lord Meki’s sneak attack, and that he hadn’t fallen apart afterwards. Of course, being able to touch and be with Arman helped. It gave him a little hope that one day he would really recover from this. He laid his head on the desk—he was so tired, even with the nap.
Reji’s hand on his arm was soothing. Fortunately, his friend’s emotions were under control and placing no burden on him. “What did the little hisk-faced bastard do to you?”
“Ambushed me when I was already a little unsteady after talking to Reis. Poor Reis—the problem with military men is they forget other people don’t take killing for granted. Arman, for all his understanding, has forgotten what it was like never to have taken a life, I think.”
“True, but I was asking about Meki. Ambushed you? Over what? I thought he was happy with our report.”
“He is,” Kei said gloomily. “And now he wants me to work for him—actually, he really wants Arman to work for him but he figures we’re inseparable. Don’t know where he got that idea from,” he said, and Reji grinned. “Accused me of being selfish by wanting to take Arman back home with me.”
“He what? I’ll wring his scrawny neck! Selfish? Damn it, if Arman hears about this—”
Kei held his hand up. “Which he won’t, not yet. I’m telling you because...well, I can tell you anything and I know you’ll listen. Usually,” he amended, thinking of that morning. He smiled at his friend. “Gods, you know, it’s so good you’re here still. I didn’t want you to go on this rescue, but having you here is a little like being home again.”
Reji put an arm around him and gave him a carefully chaste hug, probably, trying not to impose.
Piss on that
. He squeezed Reji tight and buried his face in his neck, smelling the warm, familiar scent of his old friend. “Why won’t these people leave me alone? It’s not like I forced Arman to offer to come with me. No one was more surprised than I was.”