Just F*ck Me! (10 page)

Now that we have covered talking dirty to help along the alpha male, we can incorporate what we’ve learned into the next step of this sexual experiment: assertive oral pleasure.

But before we get into the one-on-one game of oral sex, I’d like to back up for a moment and talk about how this can be preceded with some masturbation “games” that can be an exciting way to have him assert his authority over the proceedings.

Dirty talk is an integral part of this section, both with masturbation and oral sex. However, the level of verbal domination you want to take it to is entirely up to the two of you, as well as how comfortable you feel saying raunchy things and how much pleasure she gets from being verbally directed to do things (as opposed to physical direction or manipulation).

That being said, let’s get started! There are two ways assertive action during masturbation can be handled.

The first is having her masturbate while he gives her specific direction. This can start with telling her to undress, and can be as specific as telling her which pieces of clothing to take off in a certain order. Or, he can wait until she is in position. Again, that position can be dictated by him as well.

Then, he tells her where to touch, how to touch, and whether to go slower or faster. Again, this can be explicit, in both meanings of the word; he can tell her exactly what to do, and he can also use raunchy language.

It all depends on what part of the alpha male personality is most exciting to her. If she gets off on being completely dominated by him, then he should give exact instructions. If it’s the fact that she’s doing this for his pleasure, then more general directions are better; she might get too distracted by being told exactly what to do.

Creativity can come into play. He doesn’t have to give her direction, he can talk about him doing these things to her: “Now I’m touching your left breast, I’m caressing it …”

He can also get into the act, with a show-and-tell kind of game. For every move he wants her to make, he does it to her first, and then lets her do it after.

It can also be a tease-and-denial scenario, where he watches her bring herself to the brink of orgasm and then tells her to stop, then begin again, over and over again.

He can join in, masturbating as he becomes aroused by what she’s doing; then the two of you can come together. Or, he can wait until she’s really into it, and then “take over” from there, either by fingering her to orgasm, performing oral sex on her or having intercourse. Or, he can wait until she has an orgasm, and then go to town on her in any way he sees fit!

Turning the tables a bit, the other way is that he can have his masturbation be the focal point of the scenario. He might have her do a strip tease, dance or perform other activities (move into certain positions, or put on makeup or brush her hair, or anything else that is feminine for her and turns him on) while he watches and masturbates. He tells her what to do, and she complies.

Again, this can end any number of ways, from mutual masturbation, to her taking over for him, to oral sex, to intercourse. And, as always, dirty talk rules!

As far as oral sex goes, there are pretty much two ways for this as well, with variations on each theme.

For Her:

Normally, a man giving oral pleasure to a woman is viewed as a submissive act on his part. However, men honestly enjoy a good munching, and there should be no reason why this cannot be seen as him exercising his right to pleasure through pleasuring her.

Aggressively eating her out involves lots of fun things: he can grab a hold of her ass, hard, and squeeze; in the same position, use that grabbing as a way to guide her hip movements and rhythm; reaching for the breasts, with some rougher handling or nipple pinching; grabbing her thighs; biting her thighs; aggressive finger thrusting inside her, with an increasing number of fingers; the same for her ass; and quickly transitioning from eating her out to thrusting himself hard inside her.

Also, he can have her on her hands and knees and eat her out from behind. This is a good position if he wants to transition into intercourse; also, he can more easily grab a hold of her and dictate her hip movements and rhythms while he’s at it.

Another nifty little assertive trick here is to reach up and insert a finger or two into her mouth - particularly if you have used it in her vagina already (no ass-to-mouth!). This is a more subtle form of penetration, but still sends the same message.

The general feeling, though, is that this is for his pleasure, and he is dominating her; it’s not to be viewed as him worshipping her, as more submissive, gentle oral sex would be. This can be a good scenario to experiment with when the man is still a bit timid about really asserting himself. At no time, though, should she do any face-sitting. This is all about the man, remember?

For Him:

A woman giving a man a blowjob is perhaps one of the most submissive acts in a traditional lovemaking repertoire. So, it can lend itself to all kinds of nasty fun in the alpha male sexual scenarios, too.

However, there are so many men who are keenly aware of the power dynamic at play; even if these men are into the whole idea of male domination in the bedroom, they can get uncharacteristically shy when it comes to blowjobs.

Also, guys have learned early on that doing anything to upset a girl leads to no more blowjobs, so they’ve gotten very, very careful about doing anything that might highlight the submissive aspects of it.

Well, guys, now is your chance to get it all out of your system, because if she really wants you to be more aggressive sexually, the blowjob is the place where her desires will be put to the test!

However, it’s also the place where you’re most likely to go overboard. So, it’s important to talk to each other about her comfort zone. If you feel this might be an awkward conversation, remember, it won’t be nearly as awkward as the result of her aggression while your penis is in her mouth. One word:
OUCH.

All that being said, there are a few ways to approach the blowjob from the alpha male perspective. I’ll say it again, though: it really needs to be thought about and agreed upon beforehand.

The first is the blowjob-on-demand. Unlike what I had mentioned a while back, this is the equivalent of “Bitch, make me a sandwich.” With prior agreement from her, he can feel free to make her blow him any old time it pleases him.

Another tactic is to give her the order during foreplay. This is particularly powerful if he has worked her into quite a lather first. It’s a sign of, hey, my pleasure comes first (no pun intended).

Yet another time is during intercourse, after she has come. Making her taste her own juices is an aggressive action. (Obvious note here: this is not to be done if there has been any anal sex!)

No matter when or how you choose to approach the blowjob, dirty talk is a huge part of it. Again, this should be something agreed upon by the both of you. She’s already being submissive by giving the blowjob, and that has been amplified by the fact that he has instructed her to do it. Some girls will get an extra kick out of the man ratcheting up the submission angle; others will draw the line and blowjobs on demand, and leave it at that.

Another point here is that there are physical possibilities when wanting to highlight the assertiveness aspect of the blowjob. Let me beat a dead horse here and say that yes, again, this is something that should be worked out beforehand.

He can force her head down onto his penis. Using both hands, he can dictate the rhythm. He can pull her hair back to be able to see better, or simply pull it to show his pleasure. He can stand, or sit on the edge of the bed, and make her kneel in front of him.

In a particularly aggressive move, he can have her on her back, and thrust into her mouth. This is good for switching it up with tit-fucking, if that is something that floats your boats. Be careful with the gag reflex in this position, however.

He can also ask that she dress a certain way, or be completely naked, or just wear sexy heels, or whatever makes it more about his pleasure.

PLEASURABLE, ROUGH INTERCOURSE

Yes! Now we’re talking. Enough with the foreplay; let’s get into the action! In this section, we’ll talk about all the ways men can be more assertive while having sex. Finally!

Just a note for those of you who skipped directly to this section:
don’t
. Go back and read the entire book. There is a lot going on when this powerful male-female dynamic is exercised, and if you don’t understand it all, someone’s going to get hurt. Maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally. Please be smart, communicate, and make sure your relationship outside the bedroom is healthy, happy and solid as a rock.

OK, OK, I’ve lectured enough. Let’s get it on.

Assertive Positions

Obviously, having the woman be on top is not the height of male assertiveness. If she’s riding him like a cowgirl, it has become all about her, and that’s not what we’re talking about here, are we?

However, there are some ways to assert authority while the woman is in this position. For starters, he should be grabbing onto her hips, and making her match her movements to his own. He should be dictating the rhythm; if she tries to change it, his grasp should get stronger.

Also in this position, rough breast play is a good assertive action. Or, have her come down to him, and suck, twist and nibble on her breasts.

By incorporating dirty talk into this position, however, she can be left to her own devices, so to speak, while he talks about how much of a slut she is for taking pleasure in it, how much she loves to ride that big hard cock, etc.

Just as obviously, however, the man being on top is by far the more aggressive stance when having sex. But this position, called the Missionary position, has been the death of so many relationships … death by sexual boredom. So, let’s talk about how to roughen it up around the edges a bit, and make it be all about the alpha male conquering his woman.

The Missionary position can be manipulated in a variety of ways that shows her who’s boss. They include: