Read Jumper Cable Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

Jumper Cable (38 page)

Then another figure appeared. “Button Ghost!” Jumper exclaimed.

“You can get this far from the castle?”

Button held up a ghostly sign. WHEN I HAVE TO. WHEN THERE IS SUFFICIENT MOTIVE. HOW CAN I HELP?

He was a ghost, without substance. But substance was not what Jumper needed at the moment. “Can you see fine detail? Colors?”

YES.

“Then you are what I need!”

Soon Jumper was connecting red to red, blue to blue, green to green, and the other colors that Button matched up. This was the job that only he could do, because the opposite charges of the wires of the two cable sections would electrocute any regular person. But his positive and negative leg charges could handle it. Strand by strand the cable was getting reconnected. As it was, the tension was taken up by the connections, and the men and girls were able to hold the ends in place more readily.

“Jumper.” It was Haughty.

“Good work,” he said, continuing to focus on the wires. About half the connections were made, and it was getting easier as it progressed. Success was coming into view.

“Jumper, we’ve got a problem,” Haughty said urgently. He glanced up at her. “No, it’s doing well, thanks to you and the others.”

“Look at the horizon.”

He looked. There was a murderously black cloud rapidly expanding. “Uh-oh.”

“That’s Cumulo Fracto Nimbus, Fracto for short,” she said. “Remember, we ran afoul of him before we started the mission.”

“I remember. We had to get under cover.”

“We can’t do that this time. I think Demon Pluto put him up to it.”

“But Pluto can’t interfere directly.”

“He could have set it up in advance, as part of the challenge. We can’t prove otherwise.”

She was right. It would be nice if they could splice, but this could be one reason they couldn’t. They would have to deal with it.

“Girls,” Jumper said. “And men.”

The others looked at him, giving him their attention. Even Eve opened her eyes to look at him, saw the great open sky, shuddered, and clamped them shut again.

“What is it?” Olive asked.

“A storm is coming. Fracto. He’s going to try to stop us from completing our work.”

They looked around, spying the cloud. “Can we descend and wait him out?” Phanta asked.

“Not at our present stage. Only half the wires are connected. The storm will shake the cable, tearing the ends loose again unless we hold them. But that means—”

“That means we have to hold on,” Maeve said. “Somehow.”

“Oh,” Eve said. “I— I don’t think I can.”

“I can tie us all on,” Jumper said. “So no one can fall. But it won’t be fun.”

“Do it,” Eve said grimly.

Jumper got to work spinning silk and casting lines. He wrapped them all in a kind of cocoon. They continued to grip the cable lines, so that the ends remained close enough together for him to connect. He connected a few more. Then Fracto struck. First there was a powerful gust of wind. Then a burst of rain. Then lightning and thunder right next to them.

Most were doing all right, and Dick, the crazy writer, even seemed to be enjoying it. He was surely making mental notes for a terrific story about cables in the sky. But Eve’s face was ashen beneath her wildly waving hair. She was not taking this well.

Jumper spun another cocoon, a thicker one, though he was running

low on silk. He formed it about her body, shielding it from the rain. She would be in her own world, as she had been when crossing the gulf.

“Thank you,” she gasped as he closed the hood. Now the storm worked into its main strength. The winds became gale force, then hurricane force. They whipped the cable back and forth like a plucked string. More lightning crackled. But it didn’t strike the cable. Jumper realized that the cable must be protected by magic, so it couldn’t be shorted out that way.

Hailstones pelted them. “Ooo, that smarts!” Dawn cried. But she ducked her head down and did not let go.

The storm shook them for what seemed like hours but was probably minutes. But it could not make them let go or give up. Finally it waned, as Fracto exhausted himself, and passed. They had outlasted it. Jumper resumed work, with Button’s assistance. The ghost had not been bothered by the storm, of course. The others remained as they were, holding the links in place. No one said anything. No one needed to.

At last it was done. Jumper wrapped a few more strands around the repair to secure it. The cable had been spliced. Victory!

There was no immediate effect. They descended to the ground, dripping wet but exultant. Online Ogre faded out, his job done. Jumper hauled Eve’s cocoon down, and opened it.

“Did it hold?” Eve asked.

“Yes.”

“Good.” She fainted.

Dawn came to help her. “You did your part, sister dear,” she said.

“You helped us beat Pluto.”

“And you conquered your fear, almost,” Haughty said.

“Weird,” Eve said, recovering. Girlish swoons seldom lasted long.

“This is a really happy occasion. I mean, we have just saved Xanth from flying apart. Yet somehow I feel heavy.”

A bulb flashed over Jumper’s head. “That’s it! Gravity is being restored. We were all getting lighter, but now we are getting heavier.”

“That’s it,” she agreed. “So it’s good news after all.”

A figure appeared. It was Pluto. “Yes, good news for you,” he agreed soberly. “Now I must marry Eve. It was the deal.”

A male harpy appeared. “And I must marry Haughty,” Charon said.

“We’ll have a wedding,” Dawn said. “As a princess I have the authority to perform it. But can you wait a bit? We all need to clean up.”

“I have no choice,” Pluto said grimly. He seemed about as eager for the nuptial as Eve had been to become a plaything without it. But the Demon bet bound him.

Eve climbed out of the cocoon and smiled at him. “Do you really mind?”

He gazed at her, wet despite her time in the cocoon, her hair plastered half across her face and her dress matted across her chest. “You’re beautiful.”

She kissed him, and Jumper thought he could almost see her soul enclosing Pluto, starting to impose decency on him. He was already a handsome man, externally; he would soon be handsome internally too. She would have an excellent marriage. That had, almost incidentally, solved the problem that had brought both Eve and Dawn to the mission: competition for the same man. They would not be competing anymore. Actually, all the girls’ problems had been resolved, not necessarily the way they had anticipated. Wenda had wanted to have a whole body so she could interact normally with men, but now had a man regardless. Maeve had wanted escape from the stork, but now she was satisfied with the baby it had brought. Olive seemed satisfied with her talent as it was, thanks to its usefulness for her crazy writer. Phanta was no longer afraid of Gheorge Ghost, thanks to Shepherd and Ram Bunctious. And Haughty was satisfied to change to Hottie anytime, because Charon liked both her aspects and was turned off by neither. There was a pond not far distant. The girls and men stripped and went to it to wash, leaving their clothing to dry in the sunlight. Only Jumper was left, in more than one sense. He couldn’t help noticing how the increased gravity affected the bodies of the girls as they ran. He wished he had a girl of his own. If only Sharon had not proved to be ultimately fickle. He had achieved his mission. Now he could return to his natural

state in the smaller realm. The Good Magician would surely provide him with another narrative hook or something to return him there. Yet somehow he was unsatisfied.

He focused on his feeling, and realized that it was because he no longer really wanted to go home. That life had been fine for him before, traveling from weed to weed and biting the heads off bugs. But there were no human girls there, no camaraderie of a shared mission, no human-style friendships. No bra-and-panty teasing, or spot seductions. No true love. Having experienced these things, he found he was reluctant to leave them behind. He would be lonely in a way no other spider would understand.

And of course he would be dead by the time the year was out, because the normal lifespan of a spider was under a year. He couldn’t complain; it was, after all, the natural order. It had not bothered him before. Yet somehow he grieved for what was never his destiny. He almost wished that he had not been shown this fantastic alternate existence. It had implanted a dream in his imagination that was ultimately as false as Sharon’s love. He was a spider. An arachnid. A creature who related to this marvelous realm only peripherally. He would simply have to accept his role. Maybe the Good Magician would have a potion that would make him forget the rest.

Then he saw the ghost. “Button!” he exclaimed. “Truly, without you I couldn’t have done it! How can I ever repay you?”

But the ghost could not answer verbally. Instead he held up a sign. THERE MAY BE A WAY.

“Anything!” For this was a kind of debt that should be repaid before Jumper departed. The completion of the mission had not freed Eris, yet she had sent her ghostly minion to help. Her generosity should be rewarded to the extent possible. ASK DAWN.

As it happened, Dawn was returning, gloriously nude, along with the others. “Dawn, I have to ask you—” Jumper started.

“Yes, it was my bright idea,” she said. “Now let me see if I can implement it.”

“But you haven’t heard my question.”

“There’s no need. Just be patient.”

She knew what was on his mind. But what was on her mind? The others returned from the pond. Now Dawn addressed them. “I think we owe Jumper a vote of thanks,” she said. “He persevered when most of the rest of us were ready to quit, and he showed us how to work together, and he spliced the cable back together. He saved Xanth from the loss of its imported gravity. He’s a hero.”

“You are all heroes,” Jumper said. “You should all be honored. It is true: we needed every member of our party, and then some. And that is my concern. Without Button Ghost’s help—”

“In fact, why don’t we vote him a sufficient title?” Dawn asked, ignoring his comment. “Such as the Honorary Prince of Spiders.”

“Yes!” the others agreed.

“No, this isn’t relevant,” Jumper protested. “I don’t care about honors. I just want to repay—”

“All in favor say Aye.”

“Aye!” they chorused.

“Done,” Dawn said. “Now you are a prince, Jumper. Do you know what that means?”

“No,” he said, baffled by this silly business. They all seemed to be up to something, but it wasn’t helping the one who deserved it.

“But Button does,” Dawn said, looking at the ghost. Jumper looked at Button. And was amazed.

Button was changing. In his place appeared the ghost of Eris, lovely in the gown she had danced in. She was just about the most beautiful creature Jumper had seen, and he had seen a lot of beauty recently. In fact much of it was standing before him, nude. But it was more than that: around Eris was the outline of her spider form, and that too was beautiful. The way she had danced with him—

Ghost Eris held up a sign. PRINCE JUMPER— WILL YOU MARRY

ME?

Jumper almost fainted. Was it possible? Could an honorary nonhuman prince marry her and rescue her from her captivity? This seemed utterly crazy. Yet the Demons had their own rules for their wagers. Had there been a loophole in this one?

Then he thought of a problem. “Don’t you need to marry a mortal with a soul? I’m a spider.”

“While it is true that generally only humans or those with some human ancestry, such as crossbreeds, have souls,” Eris said, “there do seem to be some exceptions. You have associated so long and intimately with several souled folk, in human form, that you have absorbed a portion of their souls. You do now have a soul of your own. You are fully worthy, Prince Jumper, in what ever sense you wish to take it.”

Jumper realized that there might have been more of a point to his relationship with the girls than he had realized. Could the Good Magician have known?

“Don’t keep her waiting in suspense,” Dawn murmured. Oh. What was there to lose? If it gave the De mon ess what she needed, that would certainly be fitting. “Yes.”

Eris stepped into him, embracing him somehow in both human and spider form. She seemed to be partly solid now. He realized that the anticipation of marriage was starting the soul transfer, and enabling her to break free of her prison. So her ghostly aspect was being replaced by her real body.

“Let’s set up for the ceremony,” Dawn said. “A double or maybe triple marriage.”

“Hey, what about us?” Olive demanded. “We want to get married too.”

“Then everyone,” Dawn said. “Form your couples and stand before me.” Her mouth quirked. “Clothing optional.”

They lined up before her nude, men and women. Pluto with Eve, Charon with Haughty, Warren Warrior with Maeve, Prince Charming with Wenda Woodwife, Dick Philip with Olive Hue, Shepherd with Phanta, and Jumper now in human form with Eris. Seven couples of assorted natures.

“Do you, severally and individually, take your partners in marriage?” Dawn asked. “The correct answer is Yes.”

“Yes,” they chorused, some more eagerly than others.

“Then by the power vested in me as an unattached princess, I now

pronounce you severally and individually, husband and wife. You may kiss your spouses.”

They kissed, severally and individually, while Dawn stood alone, seeming sad. She had no man of her own to marry. But surely her time would come, for she was a lovely princess and Sorceress, and a wonderful person. She was surely also relieved that she had not had to change her gender to accomplish her agreement.

Then they broke into smaller groups, bidding farewell to each other before getting started on their assorted married lives. The mission was over.

Sharon appeared. “Damn! I chose the wrong side— again.”

“You were always a fool,” Pluto called. “I wasn’t going to marry you anyway.”

“But you promised!”

“Funny thing about Demon promises,” he remarked. “They don’t mean anything unless couched as Demon bets or disciplined by half a soul. Deception is merely a means to an end. So long, sucker.”

Jumper kept his face as straight as he could. Pluto was repeating exactly what Sharon had said to Jumper. He must have been watching the action all along, and served her as she had served Jumper. It was hard to feel sorry for her, yet Jumper did, to a degree. He had never completely trusted her, but had liked her, and would have married her if she had been straight with him. But as she had said, she had chosen the wrong side. Again. In retrospect, he was glad that she had. He was surely far better off with Eris, for the time that remained to him.

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