Jericho (A Redemption Novel) (3 page)

“I’m married,” General Lee told him. “To one of those peace-loving hippie girls. Alma’s her name. We met when she was protesting in D.C. She threw a can at my head, and when I turned around to let her have it I saw this beautiful, lanky redhead. It took six whole days to convince her to marry me.” He smiled softly. It was the first time Christian had ever seen him do so. “And if we don’t talk about politics we get along great. We have two daughters. I’ve spent most of their lives away. I’ve missed things. Big things, like first steps and proms. You don’t have to miss those things.”

“But I don’t have a family.”

“You can get one. Military life is hard on a family. I know about your background. You don’t need the marines to support a family. You can do it the traditional way.”

“The nurses can’t even stand to look at me. What makes you think finding somebody to marry me is going to be easy?”

“You were a big ugly son of a bitch before and you’re a big ugly son of a bitch now. You’ll be fine.”

He wasn’t so sure about that. He never thought about having a family. It wasn’t something that appealed to him. His parents were gone. The guys who he thought had his back turned out to be a bunch of drunken brutes. It was just better if he relied on himself. If the marines cleared him to go back, he would. There was no other option.

“Is that why you came here? To give me some advice?”

The general shook his head. “I know I’m not your father but I...I... It’s...” He shook his head, flustered, and Christian watched in amazement as the man who always seemed so sure of himself seemed lost. “I don’t want you to be one of those boys that doesn’t come back. I don’t want to attend your funeral.” He got up and paced away from him. “I don’t want you to go back. I like you, damn it. You satisfied?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I sound like a fucking pansy. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this to you.”

“You’ve grown sentimental in your old age, Dan. Now why don’t you come over here, tuck me in and give me a kiss good-night,” Christian joked, but General Lee’s words hit him in the chest in a funny sort of way and he wasn’t sure how to handle them.

CHAPTER 4

“Y
ou look like you’re going to collapse.”

Georgia stopped in her tracks besides Lieutenant Howard’s bed and blinked at him, trying to figure out if she had heard him correctly. He was staring at her. His eyes swept across her face, seemingly taking in all her features.

The urge to turn her face away was overwhelming, but she kept her eyes locked with his because for the first time since he had been there, he had spoken to her first.

The man had barely said two words to her, though he was never rude. She could tell he had been raised right, or the military had beaten manners into him. He must have been the strong, silent type. She wasn’t used to men like him. Her father always had endless words to say. Advice to give. Sermons to speak even at the dinner table. But Christian never spoke a word to her that wasn’t necessary. She wondered what he was saving them up for.

She should be relieved that he didn’t want to talk. Five nights she had treated him, and her reaction to him was the same every time she walked into his room. Fear mixed with excitement. The kind of feeling you get the night before school starts. There were other feelings, too, but she couldn’t label them. She wouldn’t let herself. But whatever this odd thing she felt for him was, she didn’t want it to get any stronger. It was best that she kept her distance.

“I look like I’m going to collapse?” she said when she finally found her words. “Is that code for I look horrible, soldier? My, my—I can’t imagine why you’re single. With sweet talk like that you’re sure to charm the pants off any girl in the county.”

One corner of his mouth twitched, and if she didn’t know any better she would have thought he almost smiled. And that made Georgia wonder what his lips would look like curled into a full smile.

All the other patients smiled at her. They teased her. They did what they could to get her to stay longer. And she knew it wasn’t because of her, but to ease some of the loneliness and boredom of being stuck in the hospital for months.

Christian wasn’t like that. It was almost as if he’d rather be alone. But nobody really wanted to be alone. It might be his higher rank, she thought, searching for a reason. Maybe his elevated position made it hard for him to interact with others. Or maybe he just didn’t like her.

Or maybe you’re just an overthinking idiot. Quit being so sensitive. He’s probably just tired.

She had taken to checking on him last, making sure that every other patient was settled, even seeing some of them twice before she walked into his room. She wasn’t avoiding him on purpose, she told herself. She wasn’t putting off that little rush of feelings when she saw him. No, it was just that he was the most injured man on the floor. At the beginning stages of healing. His care would take more time than the other patients. And that meant she didn’t get to his room until well past midnight.

He was always awake when she got there. In the back of her mind she always hoped he’d be asleep. It made her wonder if he was a night owl.

She wanted to ask the day-shift nurses about him. She wanted to know if he was different with them. If any of the other men visited him. If he seemed any happier than he did at night. If he had any family. Where he came from. Where he was going to. But she didn’t ask. She didn’t want anybody to know that she thought about this soldier more than she should.

“Your accent... Where are you from?” He turned the full power of his intense eyes on her, his gaze stopping on her mouth.

“Oakdale, South Carolina,” she said, trying to keep the breathlessness out of her voice. “And don’t try to change the subject, mister. You just called me ugly.”

He stiffened. “I didn’t, ma’am. You’re not... I meant...” He shook his head. “You look extremely tired. I didn’t mean any offense. I apologize.”

She had flustered him, and it made her feel a little guilty. No wonder he didn’t like her. “I was teasing,” she said, giving him a little smile. “I guess I never learned my lesson as a kid. I used to send my father into fits because I never knew when to keep my mouth closed. You know I once told a deacon at my church that if he donated half the money he spent on belt buckles to the needy there would be no homelessness in the South. You can’t imagine the kind of trouble that got me into.”

Why couldn’t she just shut up? She should do her job and get out of there like every other night. He made her nervous, but part of her wanted to get a little bit more out of him. Maybe if her curiosity was satisfied, she wouldn’t spend so much time wondering about him.

“How are you feeling tonight?” She did her routine check of all his vitals. “How’s your pain on a scale from one to ten?”

“About a four.”

“Hmm. A four tonight? That means it must be a nine. The bigger you marines are the more macho you get.” She handed him the medication he always refused. “Take these. And don’t tell me no.”

For once he reached out and took them from her. She couldn’t help but notice how his face tightened as he moved his body. But he never complained. She didn’t know if she admired him for it or thought he was plain stupid.

“If you’re in pain, Christian, you need to call me. You don’t have to suffer needlessly.”

“Maybe I do,” he said after he swallowed the pills. “What’s that saying? Pain is just weakness leaving the body.”

“That’s ridiculous. Are you telling me that reason you are willing to suffer is because pain makes you stronger?”

His eyes shuttered but he nodded. “I’m in this pain because I was defending my country. There’s no better reason than that.”

“Well, you defended it and you survived,” she snapped. “I still don’t see the reason you have to suffer when I can help.”

“Pain makes you grateful for all the times you didn’t feel any. It makes you stronger.”

She shook her head, his words striking a chord in her. “This must be one mighty grateful, mighty strong ward, then. Because there’s about twenty boys on this floor who are suffering. They should be down on their knees thanking the good Lord because they are blind now, or legless or paralyzed. They are supposed to be grateful for those long nineteen years of good health? That they at least escaped childhood with their bodies intact? Damn it, Christian, their lives are drastically changed all because they went off to fight some war they don’t even know why they are fighting. And you are telling me that they have something to be grateful for?”

“It’s their job. It’s my job. It’s my life.”

“Well, your life is stupid! Everybody is not like you. They are not as cold or as tough. Some of them can’t handle the pain. Do you know how many servicemen turn to drugs after they leave here? Or alcohol? There’s a suicide hotline for them that gets over three hundred calls a day. You can’t tell me that pain is good. That this war is good. I won’t believe it. I haven’t seen one benefit from it yet.”

She stared at his expressionless face for a long time, her chest heaving. It dawned on her how stupidly she’d just behaved. Of course he would defend it. His life’s work. That was what soldiers did.

She turned away from him, covering her burning face with her hands. “You have to forgive me. My mouth always gets me in trouble. No wonder why my father kept telling me I should be seen and not heard. I never know my place.”

He reached out and grabbed her arm. She shut her eyes for a moment, noting how cold his hand was. That this was another thing he suffered silently.

“Look at me,” he barked at her. She turned slowly, seeing that he was sitting all the way up. His face was tightly drawn with pain; his brow glistened with sweat.

“Lie down,” she cried. One more thing to be added to her guilty conscience. She was supposed to soothe him, not cause him more pain. She was ashamed of herself. “Please, Christian.”

“Shut up! Your place with me—” he bored his eyes into hers “—is to say whatever you think. Don’t you ever apologize to me for telling me what is on your mind. Do you understand?”

The burned side of his face twisted horribly, making him look like a beast. She should be scared. He had her arm clamped tightly in his hand, the pressure uncomfortable. She hated being trapped. She hated feeling as if she couldn’t get out, but for some reason she didn’t feel that way with him.

“Answer me. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Yes! Please lie down. You’re hurting yourself.”

He looked at her for a long moment, his face still twisted in agony, his green eyes glowing with anger.

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what made her do it, but she stepped closer and smoothed a kiss across his forehead. She kept her lips there. “Please,” she chanted into his skin. “Please lie down. Please. Please. Please.”

It took a moment for him to comply, but when he did a cry of relief escaped her.

She left his bedside for a moment to get another blanket from the closet and covered him with it. His eyes never left her face as she wiped his brow and smoothed his growing hair away from his face.

He finally shut his eyes, and she stayed a few more minutes to make sure he was soothed. When his breathing evened and his huge body finally relaxed, she stepped away.

“Good night, Georgia,” she heard him say just as she was about to leave his room.

“Good night, Christian.”

* * *

Sweet little Georgia had a temper. Maybe
temper
wasn’t the right word, Christian thought as he tried to shake off his encounter with her. She was passionate. And her passion was well hidden behind that sweet smile and good “Southern Miss” manners.

He hadn’t minded her disagreeing with him over the war. He was used to that. He remembered how angry some people were when they first landed in Iraq, when servicemen, a lot of them kids, started dying. And even he sometimes couldn’t find the words to defend why they went in. But he would always try to defend it. It was his job.

He was fascinated to see a spark ignite within her. Her whole face changed—away went that hauntingly tired expression. Her eyes lit up, her cheeks got color and he could barely process what she was saying because he was too busy looking at her. If she could get so heated just talking to him about pain then he wondered how she would be in bed. How she would feel with her thighs wrapped around him. How it would feel if she was uninhibited and hot and taking exactly what she wanted from him.

It was wrong to think about her that way, but he was in a hell of a lot of pain and stuck in the hospital until God knew when. And she was beautiful. With soft hands and a curvy figure that he could just make out under her loose-fitting scrubs. He was never a man prone to daydreams, but he decided tonight that he would let himself have that one little fantasy. It wasn’t as if anything was going to come from it.

Before he was content to just get a little glimpse of her each night. He stayed up for arrival even when his body was begging for sleep. In the span of a few minutes everything had changed.

He hadn’t meant to get angry with her. He hadn’t meant to grab her again. But her words had shaken him.

I never know my place. I should be seen and not heard.

She had heard those words from her father. A world-class dickhead—Christian knew that without even knowing anything about the man. From those few words he realized that Georgia’s true nature had been muffled. That the sometimes shy little thing had a lot more spice than even she knew. He wondered if she ever got to let herself free. Or if she was just waiting for the right man to show her how.

He definitely was not the man who was going to show her. But he wanted her to know that at least when she was with him she could speak freely, that she could be who she was without fear or condemnation.

As much as he liked seeing her sparked, he regretted what had happened between them tonight. She’d kissed him. Just on his forehead. Not in a sexual way, but sweetly, like a mother would kiss a child, and while it had soothed him, it had jolted him, too. It had made him realize how long he had gone without simple human touch. It had made him hungry for it.

Now, because of that simple little kiss, instead of just keeping his fantasies firmly in check he was going to have to keep the urge to pull her down, to kiss some of her sweetness out of her, ruthlessly under control.

* * *

Georgia walked into her apartment, Abby on her hip. For once she wasn’t exhausted after her shift, which was odd for her. She had barely gotten any sleep yesterday. Abby refused to go down for her afternoon nap.

Maybe her blood was still humming from her encounter with Christian. She’d yelled at a patient. She’d let her opinions cloud her judgments. She’d upset him. She had done everything a nurse was not supposed to do. If her supervisor heard about it, she could be fired. But nobody knew about the heated words she had exchanged with Lieutenant Howard, because even though her blood was still heated when she’d left his room, the floor had been calm. All the other patients had been sleeping. The doctor on duty and orderly had been off somewhere probably trying to get some sleep.

The rest of her shift had been uneventful, but it went by in a blur. And now she was home, knowing that she should get some rest while she could, but she was too wired to do so. Instead, after feeding Abby, she went through the massive pile of unopened mail on her kitchen counter. Most of the letters were junk mail or bills, but one letter stuck out, because it was in a pink envelope and dressed with slanted feminine handwriting. Even after two years of not seeing her sister’s handwriting, she would know it anywhere.

Last week Carolina had left a message on her machine. Georgia wasn’t sure how she got her number, or why after all this time she had tracked her down, but instead of calling her back like she’d begged, Georgia had ignored the message.

Out of everybody, her sister’s betrayal hurt the most. They were best friends. Carolina was the only person who knew what it was like to be one of Pastor Abraham Williams’s daughters. Carolina had been the one she’d gone to after it had happened. She had been there with her when the results of her pregnancy tests had come clear. Carolina had held her while she cried. She’d promised that she would stand by Georgia’s side. But it hadn’t happened. Carolina had stood silent while their father cast her out.