Jericho (A Redemption Novel) (9 page)

“I can’t believe I just told you all of that. You’re the only person besides a counselor who knows.”

“I won’t tell anybody,” he promised as he stroked down the length of her back.

She opened her eyes and grinned at him. “I hadn’t pegged you as much of a gossip. Next time it’s your turn to tell me your deepest darkest secret.”

He paused for a moment and looked at her. His darkest secret was his biggest regret, and he was struck how similar her story was to Miko’s. Christian could never be sure what had happened to that girl on base that night, but he was afraid his friends had done the unthinkable and he’d been too cowardly to do anything to stop them. If he could go back, he would change that. He would do his best to make it right.

“I once killed a man just to watch him die.”

“Liar.” She brushed a kiss across the burned side of his face. “It’s your turn tomorrow. We’re friends now. You are obligated to spill your guts to me.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.” She pulled away from his touch. “I have to get back to work. Good night, soldier.”

CHAPTER 8

G
eorgia could barely sleep the next day. Strange energy flowed through her body and all she could think about was last night with Christian. Part of her couldn’t believe she’d told him about her past. But a bigger part of her wasn’t surprised that she had.

Christian made her act in ways she never thought herself capable. He made her body crave closeness, intimacy. He made her want to not be alone anymore. Her counselor had told her that this would happen one day. That she would be able to move on, that she would want to be with a man. But Georgia didn’t believe her. Maybe it was time for Georgia to let somebody into her life. But she knew that person couldn’t be Christian.

He was bound to go back to active duty. Yes, he was badly burned. Yes, his body sustained terrible injury, but he was healing. His appearance would remain changed forever, but his body would be well enough to serve again. She didn’t need to hear it from a doctor to know that. He was going to walk out of her life one day soon. Maybe he’d been placed in her path to show her that it was possible. That being close with a man was something she could do.

What she felt for him was nothing more than a little infatuation. But...the way he rubbed her neck and wiped her tears, she knew that for as long as she lived, she would never forget the tenderness of those moments. She found it hard to imagine that another person could make her feel so safe.

She tossed and turned that morning until her baby climbed on top of her and forced her to be still.

“I’m sorry, Abby. Mama’s disturbing you.”

“Mama.” She rested her head on Georgia’s chest and the two of them managed to get an hour of sleep.

The lack of sleep caught up with her that night, and by the time she walked into Christian’s room she was dead on her feet.

“Sit down and don’t argue with me,” he ordered.

She smiled. His soft, deep voice always sent tingles through her body. “Are you going to make me do pushups if I don’t?”

“No. Suicide drills. Sit down.”

She pulled the chair closer to the bed and nearly collapsed into it. Christian reached for her hand, tugging her forward so that she could rest her head on his mattress.

“I’m not sure I like you working the night shift when you have to go home and raise a baby during the day.” He rested his hand on her cheek, causing her to shut her eyes and revel in the warmth of his skin on hers.

“Mmm. If I worked the day shift we couldn’t be friends like this.”

“I won’t get to see you at all if you collapse from exhaustion,” he said gruffly, and the protectiveness in his voice made her smile.

He lightly brushed his fingers along the curve of her jaw. She shivered. Her nipples tightened and that warm feeling coursed through her. But she also felt sleepy and safe, as if nothing or nobody could get to her while she was with him.

She realized that she had fallen asleep when she felt his thumb brush over her lips. Without thinking she kissed it.

He stiffened. “Go back to sleep.”

“You know I can’t.” She sat up and then stood. The temptation to sleep in that spot was strong, but the temptation to crawl in bed with him and forget about the world was even stronger.

She looked away from him, as if that would stop the longing in her chest. “How much time was I out? You know if my boss caught me that would be the end of my job.”

“It was six minutes exactly.” He shook his head. “How much longer are you going to go on like this, Georgia? It’s not good for you to be exhausted all the time.”

“Stop fussing at me.” She reached behind him to loosen his hospital gown and immediately realized her mistake. Her breasts brushed against him for a moment and the contact was almost painful. She glanced up at him to see if he had felt it, too, but he wasn’t staring at her face for once. His eyes settled on her lips. She tried not to grow self-conscious under his examination, but she’d always thought her lips were just a little too full. It was one of the many reasons her father had forbidden her to wear makeup.

“Sit up.” She tried to force herself back into being a nurse. Maybe these nighttime visits were a bad thing. Maybe her boss and her father were right. Maybe she was seeking trouble. “I’ve got an order to remove the bandages from your torso. The donor site from your grafts should be all healed up by now.”

He quietly did as she asked. But her fingers grazed his exposed skin as she pulled the gown from around his shoulders. She had been a nurse for two years. She had removed patients’ gowns countless times. She had never been affected by it. But none of her patients had a body like his. She couldn’t help herself. Her fingers lingered a little longer than they should have. She was teasing herself with these little touches. She wanted to run her hands all over his back. She wanted to press her face there and kiss him. But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

When he was finally free of the gown, he lay back on the bed. All of her training went out of her head. All thoughts of the task she was supposed to be performing disappeared. She knew his body was hard beneath the gown, but she’d never imagined that it would look like this.

Tarzan.

There was something a little wild about the way he looked. His tousled golden curls combined with his big scarred body. He was the exact opposite of what she thought she might be attracted to. Growing up she always imagined the man she would marry would be slim and neat looking. Unobtrusive and kind. She never imagined she would ever find a man so large, a man others were afraid of, so attractive.

She drank in his body for a long time. It was as though her eyes couldn’t get enough. It was as though they were hungry. She focused on his nipples, wondering if his were anywhere near as sensitive as hers. She wondered what it would feel like to run her tongue across one of them. She wondered what his mouth would feel like on hers.

That thought was a shock to her system. She was his nurse—she was supposed to be treating him, not fantasizing about him. She cleared her throat and looked back up to his face. This time he was staring at her. His intense green eyes were boring into her. It made her even hotter than before, and she hoped that he wasn’t able to read her mind.

“Aren’t you supposed to be telling me a secret tonight?” She carefully peeled off his bandages to reveal new pink skin, finally returning to her nursing duties. One more part of his body healed. He was one step closer to walking out of the hospital. She grew unreasonably sad. “Don’t think I forgot about it.”

Little by little, she exposed his entire torso. More beauty. Hard stomach with lines she wanted to trace with her fingers. Why couldn’t he have had a jellylike gut instead of perfectly formed abs? Why couldn’t one part of him be just a little bit unattractive to her? She swallowed hard. “Tell me about your family.” Her voice sounded thick even to her own ears.

“I thought you wanted to know my darkest secret.”

“Huh?”

“You asked me to tell you a secret. Then you asked about my family. Which one do you want?”

“I want all of it.”
All of you,
she stopped herself from saying.

She turned away from him and went to the sink to fill a basin of water. His nearness was suffocating her. She should walk away now, go about the rest of her shift pretending that it was just another normal night, but she couldn’t force herself to leave. “What are you doing over there?”

“I’m going to clean you up a little. You’re sticky from the bandages.”

“I stink. I don’t know how you can stand to be around me sometimes. Is there any way I could take a shower?”

She turned to face him as the thoughts of his hard naked body in the shower invaded her. Heat and water and soap all over his body. She wondered if he touched himself in there. If he put his hands on his... She tried to stop herself from completing that thought. But lately when she showered she wondered what it would be like if she were ever to touch herself there, in between her legs. It was wicked, or so she had been taught. She had never touched herself, but lately she ached there. Her breasts felt heavy and her body yearned for some kind of relief.

“Georgia?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I take a shower?”

“No.” She snapped back to reality. “Soon, honey. In the next couple of weeks or so. And you don’t stink.” She pulled a bar of soap out of the cabinet. “You smell like a man.” She approached him with the steamy basin of water. “I’m going to give you a good washing. And you’re going to tell me all about yourself while I do.”

She needed to hear him talk to distract herself. When they were quiet her mind had a chance to wander.

“I don’t have a family,” he said as she dipped the soap into the water. She didn’t bother with gloves, like she should have. She was going to allow herself this. Contact. Her skin on his.

“Lift your arm,” she ordered. “You’d better not have any family. Or else I would have given them one angry phone call for not bringing their behinds here to visit you.”

He smiled. “My mother would have liked you.”

“Would she? Tell me about her.”

She cleaned him, attacking him with the bar of soap and washcloth just like she did all of her other patients, but the whole time she kept telling herself that there was nothing more intimate or special about her cleaning him.

She was lying to herself.

“My mother was a tiny, bigmouthed New Yorker.”

“What?” She looked up at him as she ran the wet cloth across his chest.

“Yeah. She was from Queens and barely reached five feet. She met my father in a strip club in New York City, where she was a cocktail waitress.”

“You’re kidding.”

A slight smile curled his lips. “Nope. My father was there for a bachelor party and he took one look at my mother and they were a couple from that day on. They were mismatched. My father grew up Westport, Connecticut. He was quiet and reserved and everything my mother wasn’t. But they fit together.”

“What happened to them?”

“Car accident. The morning I graduated from college. I was supposed to pick them up from the airport but I was too hungover. My father rented a car and just before they turned on to campus, a tractor trailer smashed into them, killing them on impact.”

“Christian...”

His story took her breath away. He told it so matter-of-factly, as if he was reciting the weather, but she could tell by the tightening of his features that he was deeply hurt.

She dropped the washcloth and took his face in her hands. “You know that wasn’t your fault.” She searched his face for an answer. “Don’t you?”

“I was selfish.”

“You were twenty-one.” She kissed his long nose.

“Georgia,” he said, his voice sounding choked, “don’t kiss me.”

She slid her lips across his face and down to his jawline, where she left behind a half dozen soft kisses. “Why not?”

“You know why.” His injured hand had found its way under her scrubs again and she feel could his burned fingers stroking across her lower back. The sensation of his rough fingers against her smooth skin sent goose bumps up her body. She didn’t want him to stop. She wanted to feel that sensation all over.

And when a little moan escaped her lips she realized that she was doing it again. She was getting too close. She was taking things too far. “Okay.” She stood up. “I won’t do it again.”

He looked at her almost helplessly for a moment before he shut his eyes.

She picked up the washcloth and continued to wash his chest. They didn’t speak anymore after that. She just concentrated on washing him, clearing the soap off his body, washing down the hard planes of his stomach.

She was so in tune with what she was doing that she didn’t realize that this was the longest time she had ever spent bathing a patient. She didn’t realize the effect it had on him until he grabbed her hand.

“Stop,” he groaned.

“What?”

He didn’t have to answer because she saw it. The blanket had tented. His erection was so big she was lost for words.

Heat climbed her up neck. Her hand twitched and she had to order herself not to touch the blanket, to pull it down and reveal the things that caused her so much fascination.

Her eyes shot to his face. He still had her hand in a vise grip. She could tell he was mortified, but she wasn’t. She felt... She didn’t know how to put it in words.

“Don’t be embarrassed, honey. It’s a natural reaction. This happens to a lot of nurses. It’s never happened to me, but I must say I’m quite flattered.”

He opened his eyes and scowled at her. “This is not funny, Georgia.”

“I know. What do you want me to do?”

“Leave.”

“Leave?” She was hurt by his request.

“Yes. Go.” He let go of her hand.

“Okay. Let me put back on your gown.”

“Please, Georgia. Just go.”

She didn’t say another word or give him another look. She just left the room.

CHAPTER 9

C
hristian didn’t get any sleep that night after Georgia left. It was impossible. What the hell was she doing kissing him like that? Touching him like that? Making it nearly impossible for him to behave himself. She had no idea how close he was to hauling her off her feet and pulling her on top of him. No woman had ever touched him like that before. No woman had ever wanted to.

She was no practiced seductress. In fact, everything she did was sweetly innocent in a way, and it made him want her more. It made him crave her. What the hell was he going to do? He could barely look at her now without wanting her. How was he going to be her friend now that he knew what her hands felt like on his body? He should ignore her. Pretend like he was sleeping when she came in. But he knew he couldn’t do that. She was the only thing he looked forward to, the only thing that made his stay in the hospital bearable.

“Sir, you in here?”

Tobias appeared in his doorway, his hands on the wall, his eyes bandaged.

“Where else would I be?”

The boy’s face broke out into a grin. “You mind if I stumble my way in?”

“Get your ass in, soldier, and sit down.”

“Did you miss me?”

“No. Where were you?” he asked when Tobias sat down.

“Got that surgery I told you about.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I figured what’s the worst that could happen? I was already blind.”

“So the surgery didn’t take.” Christian couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice for the boy. He had his whole life of ahead of him, and it didn’t seem fair that he couldn’t experience everything it had to offer.

“Not the way they wanted it to. But when they take these things off my eyes I can see some. It’s blurry as shit, but I can see light and I even can see color.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you, Tobias.”

“Thank you, sir.” He was silent for a moment. “And I’m sorry for getting all bitchy on you. I didn’t mean to. It’s just... You know.”

He did know. Life had thrown them both for a loop. “Don’t worry about it. But you do realize that if I wasn’t laid up in this bed I would have stomped your ass into the ground.”

“Yes, sir.” He saluted with a grin. “So what’s new with you? Are you any closer to getting out of here?”

“I haven’t heard yet. Nobody will give me an answer. But I’m getting damn sick of being here.”

“I’m past sick of being here. The doctor told me I might be getting out of here soon....” Tobias turned his face away from Christian. He didn’t sound happy about finally getting some sort of life back.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s just, what the hell am I going to do when I get out of here?”

“According to Georgia, anything you want.”

“Miss Georgia.” He smiled. “I wish I could take her with me when I go.”

“You’re not the only one.”

“You’ve got a crush on her, too?”

“I don’t,” he said truthfully. He didn’t. What he felt for her couldn’t be classified as a crush.

“What does she look like? I’ve got this picture of her in my head. Sort of a mix of the good witch from the Wizard of Oz and Audrey Hepburn.”

“What do you know about Audrey Hepburn? You’re barely out of diapers.”

“My sister’s got a big black-and-white poster of her in her bedroom. I saw her every day until I went to basic training. Am I close? What does Nurse Williams look like?”

“She’s pretty,” he began, unsure about how to describe her. “She’s got honey-colored skin and dark reddish-brown hair that she always wears in a bun. Her eyes are big and light brown and you can tell how smart she is just by looking into them. And her nose...” He smiled to himself. “It’s little and cute and she has a half dozen freckles sprinkled across it. And her skin is...” He stopped talking realizing that he sounded like a complete jackass.

“Yeah, but what’s her ass look like?”

Christian threw his head back and laughed. He had forgotten what was important to a nineteen-year-old.

* * *

“What’s the matter, Georgia?” Mrs. Sheppard asked her as soon as she walked through the door. “You don’t look very happy this morning.”

“I’m fine,” she lied, plastering a smile on her face. “I just had a rough shift last night. All I need is a little bit of sleep.”

Mrs. Sheppard frowned at her. “I’m guessing you’re not going to let me keep this baby so you can get more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep.”

Georgia genuinely smiled at Mrs. Sheppard this time. “You know I won’t.” She draped her arms around the older woman. “But I will allow you to give me a hug.”

“I can do that, you sweet girl.” She squeezed Georgia and smoothed her hair. “You miss your mama. Don’t you?”

“I do. Some days more than others.”

“Why can’t you call her? I’m a mama and I know that there is very little that my daughter could do that would make me not want to hear from her.”

Georgia wanted to call her mother. She wanted to hear her voice so badly some days she ached. But she couldn’t pick up the phone. She didn’t even think about it. Her father controlled everything, including her mother. He would never allow his wife to speak to his outcast daughter. Even though she wanted to. Even though, according to Carolina, Georgia’s absence hurt her.

“My mother isn’t available for me to speak to.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You can talk to me if you want to. I’ll do my best to be a good stand-in.”

Georgia pulled out of the embrace and stared at Mrs. Sheppard for a moment. She wanted to confide in somebody, to talk about her weird mixed-up feelings because holding them inside her for so long had made her feel as though she was going to burst. But what could she say about Christian? He was her secret best friend.

“There’s a marine at work,” she said in a rush.

“Oh?” Mrs. Sheppard sat down on the couch and patted the cushion beside her. “Sit down and tell me about him.”

Georgia nodded and picked up her baby before joining her on the sofa. “I like him. Not like. I like my other patients, but in a different way. He’s my friend.” She looked up at Mrs. Sheppard helplessly. “I’m not supposed to be friends with my patients.”

“Well, maybe not all of them, but I think it’s okay if you have a friend, especially if that friend is a handsome marine.”

“Oh, Christian’s not handsome. He’s too huge to be handsome. He’s six inches shy of seven feet tall and he even scowls in his sleep, but there’s something about him. He’s lonely, I think. His parents died. He’s got no other family. Only one person comes to visit him. He needs me to be his friend.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Georgia. Why do you seem so upset?”

“I think he might not want me to be his friend anymore. He sent me away last night.”

“Oh, honey.” She patted Georgia’s hand. “That’s a man just acting like a man. They have no idea what they need. It’s a woman’s job to tell them. My Wade was just like that. Didn’t know what was wrong with him until I told him. Now, with your
friend,
try to give him a little space. Ignore him a little bit. If I know men, and I do, he’ll be calling you back in no time.”

Georgia left Mrs. Sheppard’s apartment thinking about her advice. She hadn’t told her the whole story, but she couldn’t have revealed it all to the nice older woman. Especially how she was beginning to feel about Christian. She had embarrassed him, and instead of playing coy she wanted to apologize to him.

Maybe she should give him some space. She knew that every time she was near him their relationship was becoming less of a friendship and more of something she wasn’t prepared to handle.

He was going to leave soon. It was just a matter of time before he walked out of her life.

She went to work that night, and instead of following her normal routine she saw Christian early, right in the middle of the rest of her patients. He couldn’t keep the surprise off his face, but she ignored it.

“How are you feeling tonight, Lieutenant?”

He blinked at her.

“The physical therapist told me that he worked you hard this morning. You’ll probably fall right asleep tonight.”

“Georgia.”

She could feel his eyes searching her face, but she wouldn’t look at him. She still felt guilty about last night. She’d upset him. He was her only friend and she had upset him all because she was too fascinated with him to know when to take a step back. She never knew her place with him. She was always the one crossing the line. She was always the one who couldn’t keep her hands to herself. He had been polite about it. He had always been kind to her. He always made her feel safe.

“Can I get you something? Another blanket? Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Stop scowling, Christian.” She touched his brow. It was the only touch she would permit herself to have. “You’re going to give yourself a headache.”

She left after that.

* * *

Christian waited until 1:31 a.m. to call Georgia. He was so mad at her he couldn’t see straight. How the hell could she walk in and out of his room as though nothing had ever happened? As if he was any other patient?

“What’s the matter, Christian? Are you in pain?”

“Come here,” he barked at her, as if she was one of his soldiers.

Her eyes widened for a moment, but she obeyed him. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to meet her.

“What the hell are you trying to pull?”

“Lie back down, you idiot,” she said without heat, but she wouldn’t look at him. Just like earlier that evening. That bothered him more than anything else.

“I can take a lot of people not being able to look me in the face, but I don’t think I can take it from you.”

Her eyes snapped up to his. “I’m sorry, Christian.”

Shit. He was one of those men who never fell for women’s games. He didn’t care about tears or pouty lips or hurt feelings, but all that went out the window when he looked at her. She had the biggest, saddest brown eyes. As though somebody had run over her pet.

He didn’t like it. Something inside of him twisted painfully. Where was the little bit of sass she kept so well hidden? Where was the woman who was brave enough to call him names?

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close so she settled right between his thighs. He hardened slightly. It never failed. Her nearness always did something to him. It heightened his senses. Being this close to her was almost painful.

He had very little control left when it came to her.

“What happened earlier tonight?”

She blinked at him, then swallowed, as if she was trying to gather courage. “I was giving you some space. I thought you were mad at me.”

“I wasn’t mad at you until you pulled that little stunt tonight.”

“It wasn’t a stunt. You sent me away. What was I suppose to think?”

He slid one hand up the back of her shirt, and with his free hand he cupped her cheek. He never had been smooth with women. He had never known how to talk to them, but Georgia was the exception. She was the only woman, the only person, who understood him the slightest bit, and he had hurt her. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He had sent her away simply because if she stayed he would have done something he might regret.

“You’re supposed to think that you drive me absolutely insane with your little kisses and soft touches.” He pressed his lips to the crease in her neck and groaned. Her skin was so soft. So different from his. He wanted to place his lips all over her naked body. All over her curvy little behind and on her hips and feet and legs and every place that lips could go. “You have no idea what’s going on in this head, Nurse Williams. You have no idea how I really feel about you, because if you did you would be running away. I’m trying very hard to be respectful. To treat you the right way. To keep my hands off you, but you make it very hard for me when you touch me the way you do.”

She relaxed into him and shut her eyes. “This feels nice.”

He stroked his hand down her back as she snuggled into him. He wondered when the last time anybody had held her was. Thinking back on his life, he had never shared an embrace with a woman like this. Holding somebody so close was more intimate than sex. She trusted him. She wasn’t afraid of him when so many women were.

This was new for him, and he didn’t understand why out of all the men in the world she’d chosen him to trust. He didn’t want to do anything to break that trust.

“It does.” He delivered slow, soft kisses to the seam of her neck. She was so soft. She smelled so damned good. She responded to his touch so well that if he died never getting to kiss her anyplace else he would be happy. “Do you have any idea how your lips feel on me, Georgia? I can’t describe it, but every time you kiss me I can’t go back to sleep because I spend the whole night reliving how they felt on me. And when I do sleep, I dream of you. Of kissing you. Of touching you. It’s driving me insane.”

“I won’t do it anymore,” she said in a broken whisper.

“I don’t want you to stop.” He pulled her closer. “But you’re going to have to.” He took his lips from her neck and looked up at her. She was so beautiful. Even in her prim scrubs. Even with her hair bound back so tightly. It almost hurt to look at her. “You can’t touch me like that anymore.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Don’t you know why?” He searched her face for understanding, but all he got was those big sad light brown eyes. “You can’t touch a man who’s never been touched before. He doesn’t know how to handle it.”

“I can’t be the only one who’s touched you before. Who’s kissed you. Somebody has to have touched you before.”

“Nobody. Not like you anyway. I’m big. I’m ugly. A lot of people are scared of me.”

“You’re not ugly, Christian. I think you’re gorgeous.”

Beautiful sweet girl. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn’t lying to him. He hoped one day that she would find somebody who would take care of her. He hoped that she would meet somebody worthy of her love. “I like you very much, Georgia Williams.” He kissed her cheeks more times than he could count. He wanted to kiss her lips, to taste her, but he knew that if he stepped over that line he would not be able to stop himself. Even touching her now, holding her close, was dangerous. His control was about to snap at any moment.