Authors: Kate Benson
“I don’t see why not, but that’s going to be really out of your way, isn’t it?”
“Nope,” I say, squeezing her calf in my hand. “You’re never out of my way, Addie.”
She’s about to respond, but the server bringing our food interrupts her.
“Are y’all all set?” she asks us as she sets the pizza on the table along with plates.
“I’m good,” I nod, glancing over to see Addie still smiling up at me. “You good, babe?”
Without answering, she reaches up to grip the sides of my face, kissing me firmly on the lips. When she pulls away, I can’t help the dorky grin that’s covering my face as I feel the server still beside me, awkwardly waiting for her answer.
“I guess we’re good,” I chuckle, watching her leave the table with a smirk before glancing back at Addie, still beaming. “What was that for?”
“You’re just sweet,” she says, hugging my arm to her chest.
“Aww,” I reply, bending down to give her a quick peck on the lips. “Look at you gettin’ all gooey on me.”
My teasing tone makes her cheeks blush slightly before she rolls her eyes.
“Am not,” she argues, feigning offense. “I take it back. You’re hideous.”
“Oh whatever,” I smirk, taking a bite from my pizza. “Admit it, baby. You love the crap out of me and you know it.”
“I know no such thing,” she denies playfully. “I’m only hanging out with you because you promised me pizza.”
“Oh really?” I laugh, my eyebrows shooting up in amusement. “So that’s what this has all been about, huh? You’re using me for my food?”
“Yep,” she smiles, taking another bite and glancing up at me. “I’m a total pepperoni whore.”
“Would y’all like some refills?” our server says from the edge of the table, causing Addie’s cheeks to flush crimson.
The look of complete embarrassment on her face pulls a loud laugh from my chest before I face the server with a nod.
“Yes, please,” I reply, unable to wipe the amusement from my face as I turn back to Addie, squeezing her thigh affectionately. “I’m so happy that happened.”
“Did you know she was coming?”
“Yep,” I admit, snickering when she smacks me.
“You’re such an ass,” she smirks, shaking her head. “I hate you right now.”
“Liar,” I grin, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
When the server brings our drinks back, we thank her and eat for a moment in comfortable silence. Every so often, I glance over at her and smile to myself. Leaning against my arm, she rests there and lets out a small sigh before kissing my bicep and gazing up at me.
“I didn’t mean it,” she starts. “Even if you didn’t buy me pizza, I’d totally love the crap out of you anyway.”
“I know, baby,” I say with a soft smile, kissing her hair. “I love the crap out of you, too.”
December 31, 2010
Addie
The past month has been one of the best I’ve ever had.
As of right now, I’m officially halfway done with my first year of college. I’m madly in love with my best friend, who I’ve been able to see every day for the past three weeks. Even though I know in just a little more than a week we’ll have to go back to school, the time we’ve had together has been so perfect I just can’t bring myself to be sad yet. I’m convinced nothing can wipe the smile off my face, not even my dad lecturing me over the phone about being safe tonight.
Glancing over to find the object of my infatuation fiddling with his phone on the bed beside me, I stare at the way his dark hair falls over his brow, crinkled in concentration. Feeling my eyes on him, he looks at me sideways and sticks out his tongue, making me giggle.
“Addison Savannah,” my dad barks into the phone. “Are you listening to me?”
“Yes sir,” I say, dropping the gold star charm on the necklace Zeke gave me for Christmas from my lips. “Get all the free drinks from strangers I can and only experiment with the classy drugs… I got it.”
“You’re not funny, kid,” he says, hiding the amusement in his voice just about as well as Zeke manages to hide his laughter. “I want you to send me a text when you get home, too. I want to know y’all got back safely.”
“I’m just playing, Daddy,” I giggle. “I promise we’ll be safe and let you know we’re home.”
“Okay,” he sighs. “I love you, kitten.”
“Love you, too, Daddy,” I smile into the phone, taking a bite from the Twizzler Zeke’s holding. “Drive safe.”
After making sure the call is disconnected, I toss my phone onto the mattress and move to straddle Zeke. Pulling the rest of the Twizzler from his hand, I pop it into my mouth and take in his look of amusement, grinning down at him.
“Wanna go on the roof?” I ask, watching him set his phone to the side before resting his hands on my thighs.
“Not really,” he laughs. “It’s cold as shit outside.”
“Well, let’s do something. I’m bored, aren’t you?”
“I was, but I’m not anymore,” he smirks, running his hands under my cotton shorts and squeezing my hips. “I’m loving the shit out of this, baby. I think we can definitely find something to do to entertain ourselves in this position.”
“Are you saying you wanna wrestle?” I tease him, loving the sound of his quiet laughter.
“No, I don’t wanna wrestle,” he smiles, pulling me down to his chest. “Come here.”
Resting against him, I place my hands on the sides of his neck and kiss him deeply, letting out a quiet whimper when he moves his hands to my ass and squeezes. When we pull away, I rest my cheek on his shoulder and savor in his touch.
“So what are we doing tonight?”
“Whatever you want,” he says, kissing my hair. “We can go to the party at the lake or hang here.”
“What do you want to do?” I ask, looking up to meet his indigo gaze.
“Kiss you at midnight,” he says. “And I can do that either place so you pick.”
“If we go and people get on our nerves, can we come home?”
“Yes,” he smirks.
“Okay,” I smile, raising to kiss him.
What starts out as a quick peck quickly turns into more and within minutes, we’re both panting.
Just like always, the second we touch it’s as though my body sparks to life. Something inside me ignites and his breath, his lips, his touch are all the oxygen I need to be set on fire. He sends me over the edge again and again as the rest of the world fades away.
When I fall apart on top of him a final time, he watches me with heavy eyes, filling me just seconds later. As we come down, he pulls me back to his chest and lets his fingertips move over me gently. The combination of his soft touch and the way he hums quietly along with the radio has me drifting to sleep in no time.
Zeke
After we take a quick shower, I throw on a grey long-sleeved T-shirt and jeans and sit on her bed to wait for her. Once she’s done with her hair and makeup, she dances around the room to ‘Valerie’ by Amy Winehouse, making me question whether I really want to go to this party or not after all. Before I can change our plans, she’s pulling a bright yellow shirt over her head and squeezing into a pair of tight jeans.
We spend the rest of the night with a couple of the people I’d kept in touch with from high school and a ton of people I didn’t. I feel guilty more than once when other people interrupt our time together, but she waves me off each time. When we’re finally able to break apart from the party, we make our way down to the edge of the dock.
After looking up at the stars together for a few minutes, I feel the breeze outside is picking up a little. As I hand her the beer I managed to grab on our way over, I watch her let out a small shiver. Pulling my jacket off, I slip it over her arms, smiling to myself when I see her inhaling my scent before cuddling up next to me.
With less than a few minutes left in the best year we’ve ever shared together, I can’t help but think about the last time we sat at the end of this dock. Seeing the smirk on my face, she gives me a questioning look before breaking the silence.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Fourth of July,” I admit.
“Me, too,” she smiles, looking up at me as we hear the crowd behind us counting down. “I can’t believe it’s already been almost six months.”
Squeezing her hand in mine, I place my free hand on her neck and pull her closer.
“I can’t believe we were dumb enough to wait so long,” I whisper against her lips as the fireworks blast off, signaling midnight. “Happy New Year, baby.”
February 10, 2011
Addie
“Are you sure?” I ask into the phone, my heart sinking further more and more by the second. “There’s no way you can come?”
Since we both had class on Valentine’s Day, Zeke had been planning to come and spend the weekend before with me. We’d been talking about it since before we returned from winter break, so I’d had my heart set on it.
“Yeah,” he says into the phone. “I’m sorry, baby. I know I promised I’d be there. I feel like shit about it.”
“I don’t want you to feel like shit,” I sigh, fighting the urge to cry. “I’m sad I won’t get to see you, but I know you’d be here if you could be.”
“I told them I needed this weekend off when I started back and by the time I saw the schedule, my manager said she couldn’t help it,” he says. “I wanted to fuckin’ walk out when she told me, but I couldn’t.”
“I know, baby,” I offer. “It’s okay.”
Not long after we’d gotten back to school, Zeke got his job back at the café he’d worked at last year. While he’d gotten a full ride for his classes, it didn’t cover everything. Not only that, Mrs. Turner had recently confessed to Zeke that she’d had to take out a second mortgage on their house and was having a hard time keeping up. With her already working two jobs to try and take care of everything, he couldn’t turn down the job when they offered it.
I understood. I would have had to do the same thing in his position, but I was still disappointed I wouldn’t see him.
“Do you think you can get here?” he asks, a small glimmer of hope in his voice. “If I drive you back Saturday night, I could probably make it back before my shift Sunday.”
“No,” I reply. “Jennifer’s the only person I know who ever goes out there and Brittany told me Sam was coming here.”
“Shit. This really fuckin’ sucks,” he says softly. “Well, maybe I can come next weekend. I’ll see what I can figure out, okay?”
“Okay,” I say, trying not to sound as pitiful as I feel as I sit on the edge of my bed. “Do you work tonight?”
“Yeah, I have to leave in about five minutes,” he says. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Nothing really,” I start, flipping the stuffed monkey I’d gotten him off.
Stupid ass monkey.
“I have some homework I need to do, but that’s it. What time will you be off?”
“Eleven,” he says. “I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you, too, babe.”
***
March 9, 2011
Zeke
“I’m really starting to hate your boss,” she says into the phone.
Since we got back from winter break, we still haven’t seen each other. To date, this is the longest we’ve been apart and it’s taking its toll on both of us. When I got my job back at the café, I never expected it to be like this.
Last year when I was begging for hours, I couldn’t get them. This year, I can’t give the fuckers away. I thought for sure I’d have at least a couple days off for Spring Break, but with the track record I’ve had, I should have known better. To make matters worse, I’d just found out that my mom had lost one of her jobs which meant there was now little chance of me taking any time off this summer.
“I know,” I groan, rubbing my eyes in a combination of frustration and exhaustion. “I’ve looked everywhere I can think of and I can’t find any other places hiring that will work with my classes.”
“I have about four hundred…”
“No,” I cut her off, knowing exactly what she’s going to say. It’s the same argument we’ve had three times already and I’m not budging. “I’m not taking your money, Addie. You need that.”
“Not as bad as I need to see you,” she argues. “I know it’s not much, but it would help. You could call in for a shift or something?”
“The last person who called out got fired. Besides, I already said I’m not taking your money,” I insist, stretching out across my bed as I hear the sigh leave her lips over the line. “I’m trying, baby.”
“I know,” she says, her voice softening. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, Zeke. I just…”
“What?” I ask when her voice trails off.
“Nothing,” she says. “I know you’re doing your best.
“Just say what you need to say, babe.”
“It’s nothing,” she persists.
Although I know she’d never lie to me, I’ve known Addie long enough to know when she’s biting her tongue. She’s also known me long enough to know that this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Normally, I’d do my best to let it go, avoid the argument. Tonight though, I’m exhausted and before I can stop myself, I snap.
“Addie, you know I hate it when you fucking do this shit,” I groan. “Why do you do this?”
“Because I don’t want to fight with you!”
“Well, we’re fighting anyway so you may as well say what you wanna fuckin’ say, Add.”
“Fine,” she starts, no longer hiding her irritation. “I think it’s stupid that the only time you can’t get your shift covered is when you’re supposed to see me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about how you can get shifts covered for anything except to come here, babe!” she says. “You have no problem getting nights off to do anything else.”
“Like what?” I ask, my mind reeling.
“You’re
always
doing shit, Zeke! You go to games, you hang out with your friends, you go to parties!” she shouts into the phone. “But the second we make plans for you to come here, you cancel.”
“I can’t help it if she sends me home early, Addie. What do you want me to do? Drive four hours to see you, stay for ten minutes and have to turn around and drive back? That’s fucking stupid, baby!” I argue. “I don’t know what the hell you want from me, Addie. Do you want me to just stay locked up in my room, baby?”
“No,” she groans, her frustrated tone matching mine. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what
are
you saying?”
I know I’m being short, but try as I might, I can’t help it. She knows I need this job and she also knows how bad I want to see her. Fighting isn’t helping anything and lately, it seems to be all we ever do.
“It just doesn’t make any sense, Zeke. This is the fourth time you’ve had to cancel. The other times, I get it, you have class, but it’s spring break. How is it possible that you’re working that much?” she asks, her voice lower. “I mean, do you just not want to come? If that’s it, I wish you’d just tell me, Zeke.”
“Baby, you know it’s not like that. I have one day off and she’s got me on call,” I sigh, resting my head in my hand. When she doesn’t answer me for a moment, I ask again. “Addie, you know that’s not it, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” she says, her voice breaking.
No matter how badly she tries to hide it, I know when she’s crying. The sound of her tears over the line instantly causes the anger to leave me, replacing it with heartache.
“Please don’t cry,” I say in a soft voice. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you, I’m just stressed out and really tired.”
“I know. It’s okay,” she replies, clearing her throat. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have overreacted. I just really miss you.”
“I miss you, too, babe. I promise we’ll figure something out, okay?”
“Okay,” she whispers before growing quiet for a moment. I’m about to speak when she breaks the silence. “You should try to get some sleep, it’s getting late and you have class tomorrow.”
“Baby,” I sigh. “I don’t want to hang up if you’re upset.”
“I’m okay,” she says, her voice still low. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m just gonna take a shower and go to sleep.”
“Alright,” I start. “I’ll call you in the morning before class, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you, Addie,” I say in a soft voice. “Please tell me you know that.”
“I know you do, baby,” she sniffs. “I love you, too, Zeke.”
Addie
By the time Brittany pushes the door open to our room an hour later, I’m a complete mess. I do my best to get a hold of myself before she can see me, but it’s no use.
“Hey!” she says cheerfully as she walks in, bags in hand from her recent shopping trip. “Are you on the phone? I brought a couple friends…” Seeing the state I’m in, she stops her words. “Addie, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” I lie through my tears. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not,” she says, her normally bubbly voice full of compassion as she turns to the two friends she brought with her. “Hey, I’ll catch up with y’all later, okay?”
“Sure,” the girls say, promising to call her.
After she sets her things down, she sits across from me on the edge of her bed.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I start, drying my eyes.
“Hush,” she says, waving me off immediately. “What’s the matter? Did you and Zeke have another fight?”
Although we hadn’t spent much time together over the year, we’d recently begun talking more and more. Over the years, I’d grown used to not having many friends, but up until this year, I always had Zeke or my dad with me. I’d managed to hold everything together well enough at first. Between being homesick and arguing more and more with Zeke, this is far from the last time Brittany has walked in to find me upset. This is definitely the worst it’s ever been, though.
“Yeah,” I confess, lifting the sleeve of my T-shirt to dry my eyes. “He had to cancel again.”
“I’m sorry,” she offers. “That really sucks, Addie. I know how much you were looking forward to it.”
“Thanks,” I say, managing a weak smile. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I had a feeling it was going to happen. I just hoped he’d be able to get at least two days off to come up, you know?”
“Yeah,” she nods.
“Sorry,” I start, watching her shake her head immediately. “I shouldn’t be whining to you.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she says, waving me off. “Talk to me. You have to get all this crap off your chest. What’s going on?”
Giving her a small smile of appreciation, I let out a deep sigh and give her the rundown.
“He just told me tonight he’s going to have to stay there to work this summer,” I continue as she lets out a groan of sympathy. “He’s already so exhausted, he does good to call me half the time. When he does call, we end up fighting and the stupidest part is, we’re not even mad at each other. I understand, but if he’s working more this summer, we’re
never
going to see each other. I knew this was going to be hard, but I never thought it would get like this. We never fight and lately, it seems like it’s all we do.”
“Long distance stuff is really hard, especially with you not having a car and him working,” she says. “What do you think you’re going to do?”
“I don’t know…” I admit, shaking my head. “Brittany, I love him so much, but sometimes I wonder if…” I start, my eyes brimming with fresh tears and the lump in my throat making me let out a muffled sob. “Maybe I should just end things.”
The words I’ve been fighting so hard not to say finally free, I can’t hold it together anymore. Seeing me fall apart, Brittany stands and comes to sit beside me, hugging me close.