I Wish... (11 page)

Even though I knew I was being a jerk, I said, “Its ok, I don’t have any place I have to be. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your handsome friend, Ben?”

The boy giggled and I was won by his mischievous grin. “She called me handsome, Ben.”

Ben tousled Simon’s afro. “She sure did. Clearly she has fantastic taste.” He winked at me.

I made a show of dramatically putting my hands on my hips. “Well? Who is this? I can hardly stand the wait.”

Ben scooped the boy up and tickled him for a moment before he said, “This is my little brother, Simon.”

Obviously they weren’t biological brothers since it was evident from Simon’s dark skin and curls that they were different races, but it was equally obvious that neither one cared. I assumed that Simon must be another orphan brought into town the way Ben had been as a baby. For the first time since the first time we met, Ben seemed totally at ease.

I squatted down so that I was eye level with Simon and asked him, “What would you like to play?”

He squinted at me, thinking. “Can you teach me to jump off the swing like you did?” He pointed at the swing behind me.

I pretended to consider it. “Weeeell,” I drawled, “Ok. I’ll help you do it, but you can’t go as high since you’re a lot smaller. You might get hurt.”

He puffed out his chest. “I’m seven, you know.”

“Wow, that’s very impressive. But I’m afraid you still can’t swing as high as I did. I’ll push you until you’re this high.” I motioned to a spot I deemed to be safe enough for a boy of his size.

“Then you need to make sure your arms are like this.” I sat on the swing and showed him how to make sure his arms wouldn’t get caught up in the chains.

“And then I jump!”

“Yes sir. Are you ready to try it?”

Simon and I took turns pushing each other and jumping out of the swing for half an hour or more. Ben sat in the sand and leaned against one of the legs of the swing set. He wore a half smile as he watched us play.

Growing up, I didn’t have any exposure to other children. I didn’t think I’d know how to relate to a little kid, but I had to admit that Simon and I hit it off well. I was completely charmed by his adorable face and effervescent personality.

He was executing his seventh or eighth jump when a girl around his age came wheeling into the park on a bike that seemed impossibly miniature to me, but fit her elf-like body perfectly. He gave me a quick hug and then raced off with his friend to play an elaborate game of tag that spanned the entire play structure.

Ben arched a questioning eyebrow. I shrugged as if the sudden abandonment didn’t sting. “They grow up so fast.”

He chuckled and patted the ground next to him. I thought about walking off and ignoring the invitation, I was still pretty pissed about being shunned in class. I sighed as I flopped to the sand.
Resistance is futile.

We didn’t talk for a long time. Instead, we sat watching Simon and his friend play. Their laughter trailed behind them like cheerful banners of sound. I wondered what it would be like to have kids of my own.

“Hey, Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever thought about having kids?”

He smirked. “Ten minutes with Simon gave you baby fever?”

I slapped his arm playfully. “Seriously, I’m just curious. And also, it was way more than ten minutes.”

He sobered up as he gave my question serious consideration. “I haven’t really thought about getting married or having kids. Actually, that’s not true. I’ve thought about it enough to decide that I don’t want any.”

 “That’s kind of harsh. Why not?”

“I’ve told you some of it already. Desire isn’t a very good place to be a man no matter who you are. It gets a lot worse though depending on what kind of family you belong to. I’m not even from this town originally. Who knows what kind of a wife I’d get stuck with?”

“I thought you didn’t care about how much power the girls around here have?”

“I don’t care about that, but when everyone in town has been trained from birth to look at bloodlines as the sole defining characteristic of a good mate, what are the odds that any woman in Desire will even give herself a chance to fall in love with me?”

He shook his head violently, before he continued. “There’s just no way I’m going to marry some girl who has been forced to settle for me. It’s humiliating enough when you’re picked last to play kickball at recess, but being someone’s last resort to get married? That’s just asking for a miserable life.”

I bumped my shoulder into his hoping to lighten his mood. “So why don’t you move after high school? Go to college or get a job somewhere else? You could find a girl in the real world who isn’t so jaded by a life time of magic traditions.”

He glowered at me.
It's like he's not even
trying
to cheer up.
“Do you think I haven’t thought about that? I’m going to try to get out as soon as I can, but I’ll never feel safe. They found me once because I have strong magic potential. They could find me again. Or my kids. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to get married without being terrified every single night that someone is going to come and whisk her to Desire while I’m sleeping.”

The thought had a horrifying allure. It was true, wasn’t it? There was no real guarantee that he’d ever escape completely. As long as you played by the rules you could have a relatively peaceful life, unless a rival tried to kill you, of course. But if you ever tried to leave, you ran the risk of being found again at some point in the future and brought back to face whatever horrible consequences there were for daring to live your own life.

“Yeah, I’m pretty much ready to throw myself off the nearest bridge. Thanks Debbie Downer.” I muttered.

Ben did me the courtesy of laughing at my feeble attempt at a joke.

“Ben! Simon! Dinner time!” I glanced across the park where a tiny woman stood at the gate, drying her hands on a dish towel that she’d tucked into the waist band of her jeans.

“Gotta run.” He stood up and held out his hand to Simon who raced across the grass with his own little hand outstretched. He smiled at me. “Thanks for playing with him. I know from experience that it’s pretty lonely feeling like a second class citizen in this town. I can’t think of a single other First Daughter who would bother to spend time with any kid, let alone an outsider like him. You really made him feel special today.”

Blood rushed up my neck and flushed my face. I couldn’t think of anything to say so I mumbled a goodbye and swung my pack over my shoulder and left.

What an incredibly unfair way of life. A great kid like Simon would grow up snubbed, and a funny, good looking guy like Ben was scared to get married. And I was expected to be part of it.
Yeah right.

I didn't want to go to school the next day. A nagging voice in my mind kept reminding me that I didn't really belong in Desire; I didn't know the customs and I wasn't prepared to deal with the sudden unwanted attention. I thought about staying home, but sooner or later I would have to return and it wasn't going to be any easier then. So I yanked on some clothes and trudged to school.

I did my best to avoid making eye contact with anyone all morning. I even managed to dodge Evan between classes, but there was no way to avoid him during our speech class. I took my desk next to his and he raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

I stared at a scratch on the surface of my desk top.

"Ok, I'll bite. What's up? You've been avoiding me all day and now you won't even look at me. Did I do something to upset you?" His hazel eyes were concerned.

I massaged the back of my neck. "It's nothing you did. It's really everyone else. I feel like a sideshow freak. And this is coming from a girl named Thistle Nettlebottom who grew up in a pink RV."

He nodded sympathetically. "You are the youngest girl to be next in line to become a Matriarch. And from a Coven Family too. It's a really big deal."

I tapped my pen on my desk. "I feel like the guys are all ready to propose to me and the girls all hate me."

His laugh soothed me. "That's pretty much exactly what's going on."

Mr. Miller gave us a brief lecture then. After he finished the lesson he told us to work independently on our speeches.

"How much progress have you made with the diseases you're researching?" He asked me, referring to the topic of STDs we were assigned.

I showed him a folder full of notes and pictures I'd printed from the internet. "I'm done, I think."

He grimaced as he leafed through the images. "That's great work. Do you want to come over to my house tonight and put this stuff together with what I've got?"

"Sure. That sounds good." And it did. I snuck a quick peek at him. He wore a long sleeved under shirt layered under an unbuttoned plaid shirt. I appreciated his unconventional style and his rumpled hair. His broad shoulders and breath taking good looks didn't hurt either. What I really liked about Evan was how reliable he was. In a world that had suddenly become hostile to me from all sides, that had become a very attractive quality. I wouldn't mind any excuse to spend more time with him.

"Do you want to come over right after school?"

"Ok, that works."

"Awesome."

We spent the rest of the period discussing STDs, but all I could think about was our impending study date. I wondered if he might try to kiss me. I wondered if I wanted him to.

I floated through the rest of the day. Even the awkwardness of lunch was easier to bear. To tell the truth I wasn't totally present. My awareness of Evan was heightened to a new level. If he ever wanted to spar blind folded I wouldn't have a bit of trouble finding him since every nerve ending in my body seemed to be attuned to him.

The drive to his house was short. I didn't know why any of the teens bothered driving around town. I supposed that sooner or later I'd request a car of my own, but so far whenever I wanted to leave town I'd gone with Krista and it just wasn't necessary to own one in a town as small as Desire.

He escorted me upstairs to his bedroom. It was tidy and lacked the posters of naked women I thought were mandatory for every teenaged guy. He had a few shelves along the walls. Most were filled with books, but some were fitted with an edge and held balls and other sports equipment. He also had the expected computer and video game consoles. His bed was full sized and had a red corduroy comforter and a massive pile of pillows heaped along the head board.

He motioned at the bed. "Do you want to set up camp here? There should be enough pillows that we'll basically be able to sit up. If you aren't comfortable with that idea we could try to work something out with the desk. I could grab a chair from somewhere."

Pass up a chance to sit next to you on your bed? Are you serious?
"The bed is fine."

He tossed his bag on the bed and let me pick the side I wanted. I sat down and he joined me. We pulled out our notes and started working on our speech.

It took us a little over an hour to finish the assignment. We practiced saying it out loud a few times to make sure that it fit the allotted time. Once we were satisfied with our work we started to put our things back into our bags.

"Thistle, I'm really glad you came over."

"I'm glad I did too. This was nice."
Good one. June Cleaver probably had sexier one liners than I do.

"I like spending time with you. You aren't like the other girls in town. I can't even believe you're a First Daughter." He seemed to pull me to him like a magnet. I felt myself leaning towards him and realized that he was leaning towards me too.

My heart pounded and my mouth took on a mind of its own the way it often did. "To be fair, I haven't grown up the way the rest of them have. I can't believe I'm a First Daughter either."

"I don't think it's just that you didn't grow up here. You're just a different kind of person." He reached out a single finger and traced my knuckles.

Two days ago I'd felt dizzy and nauseated and it was the worst feeling I'd ever experienced and now I was feeling something similar, but it made me feel amazing.

He leaned toward me until our faces were inches apart. His eyes were open and looking into mine. It was the single most erotic experience in my entire seventeen years of life. Our lips were a breath apart when the door slammed open.

"Hey, Evan, I need--" Lydia froze in the doorway.

Evan and I jumped apart as fast as if someone had dumped ice water on us.

"Her? Really? Does Mother know you've got a Madison in the house?" Her voice was mild, but she looked furious.

They locked eyes for a moment and then Evan looked down. I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. "We were working on a project together, but we're done now. I was just getting ready to leave."

Evan joined me and took my hand. I let him lead me down the stairs, but I was a little angry. I wanted to ask him why he never said anything when Lydia attacked me. I was positive it would be like spitting in the ocean, but the gesture would have been nice.

We walked to the front door with Lydia following. We were intercepted by a regal looking woman with snow white hair and the most piercing pale eyes. They were clear, but the color was hard to determine. Maybe light blue or gray or green. The effect though was amazing. When she looked at me I almost felt her eyes crawling over me and finding me lacking.

"Who is this girl, Evan." She asked. She was nearly as tall as him and she stood so stiff and erect that she looked uncomfortable.

He met her gaze unflinching. "This is Thistle Madison. We were working on a project for school."

She looked more interested. "Oh so she is a witch then. I wondered when I didn't recognize her. I had heard that Ramona had finally come back to town, but I haven't gone calling."

I reached out my hand to shake. "I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am."

She recoiled and actually lifted her lip in a disgusted snarl. "No thank you. You can't possibly imagine how little I want to touch a Madison."

The shock I saw on Evan's face must have matched mine. "Mother!"