Authors: Leanne Banks
“A career you then gave up?”
His expression turned blank. And she'd never wanted to read him more. But couldn't.
“I have to go,” he said. “Good night.”
She watched him leave and waited until he rounded the hedge before she returned inside and closed the door.
* * *
On Tuesday morning, Gabe noticed five missed calls on his cell. Two from his mom. Three from Aaron. His brother had then reverted to text messaging.
What's going on with you?
He sent one back when he arrived at work.
Nothing.
Aaron responded immediately.
Mom's worried about you. Call her.
Sure.
Gabe knew his one-word replies would irritate his interfering older brother.
Ten minutes later, he received another message.
Just do it, Gabriel.
Gabe ignored the deliberate use of his full name in his brother's message and stuffed the phone in his pocket. Well-meaning relatives with advice he could do without.
Megan arrived, and he plastered on a smile. It would be best if he kept his lousy mood to himself. No one needed to know that he was so wound up, so frustrated, he could barely string a sentence together. She had her older sister with her, a remarkably attractive girl in her mid-twenties whose name he couldn't recall but who looked him over with barely concealed approval.
The teen dumped a few books on his desk. “Thanks for these,” she said chirpily.
“They helped?” he asked, and pulled another medical textbook from the desk drawer.
“Yeah,” she replied. “I sit the nursing entrance exam next week.”
Megan had borrowed a few of his old medical texts to help with her studying and hadn't asked why he had them. Not like Lauren would have. She'd ask. She'd want to know everything. And the damnable thing was, he'd want to tell her.
“Well, good luck,” he replied. “Just drop it back when you're done with it.”
Megan grabbed the book and sashayed out of the room, but her sibling hovered in the doorway, brows raised suggestively. In another time, he might have been tempted to ask for her number, to take her out and get her into bed after a few dates. But he wasn't interested in the pretty brunette with the wide smile. Gabe cursed to himself. He was so wrapped up in Lauren that nothing and no one else could shift his distraction. Nothing could ease the unexpected ache in his chest and the unrelenting tension cramping his shoulders. Kissing her had been like nothing on earth. And he wanted to feel that again. He wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her over and over and somehow forget he couldn't offer her the future she deserved.
The cell in his pocket vibrated again. It was another message from his brother.
You said you'd call. Get to it.
Gabe ignored the message and got back to work.
But by two he'd had enough, and since no one was booked in to use the upstairs rooms that afternoon, he locked up and headed home. Back at the house, there was painting to be done, drywall to replace and plaster, and the lawn needing mowing. But he ignored every chore. Instead, Gabe started unpacking some of the boxes in the spare room. The box marked Personal Items got his full attention. Gabe rummaged through the papers and soon found what he was looking for. His diploma of medicine. Still in the frame his mother had insisted upon. He looked at it, and shame hit him squarely behind the ribs.
Quitter...
Like he'd rarely allowed himself to think in the past eighteen months, Gabe wondered what would have happened had he stuck it out. What would have ensued had he ignored the guilt and regret tailing him around the hospital corridors? Would time have healed his fractured spirit? Would it have lessened the remorse? Would he have been able to practice medicine with the self-belief it demanded? Right now, he felt healthy. His last round of tests had come back clear. He was cancer-free.
Perhaps it was time to take his life back?
A first step. A giant step. But one he had to do if he was ever going to be truly happy.
Gabe shoved the diploma back in the box and resealed the lid.
He needed a run to clear his thoughts and stretch out the muscles in his back and limbs. He changed his clothes and headed out. When he returned, he showered, pulled on jeans and a T-shirt and grabbed his keys. If he wanted to take his career back, there was no time like the present to start.
He had a patient to check on.
* * *
Lauren sat on the edge of the bed in the spare room at her parents' house and chatted to her friend. It had been her bedroom once. Back then, the walls had been pink, and posters of rock gods had covered the walls. Since she'd moved out, her mother had redecorated in the more subtle tones of beige and white.
“This isn't necessary, you know, for me to stay in bed,” Cassie insisted, and patted the mattress. “I feel fine.”
“Good,” Lauren said, and smiled. “But humor us all anyway, and rest for a few more days. You had surgery, and you need to take it easy.”
Her friend had resisted coming to stay at her parents' home to recuperate. But since Lauren's dad was now retired, it meant that someone would be able to watch Cassie around the clock. Cassie meant a great deal to her family. She was like another daughter to her parents and as close to Lauren as a sister could be. She wasn't about to allow her friend to be alone.
“Okay,” Cassie said, and grinned. “I'll be a model patient. As long as I know Mary-Jayne is looking after my dog, I'll relax.”
“She is,” Lauren told her. “I'll go and make some tea and bring it up with dinner.”
“What time are your folks getting back?” Cassie asked.
Lauren checked her watch. It was just after seven. “Matka is at
mah-
jongg and will be back by nine-thirty, and Dad's helping Cameron supervise a bowling expedition with a group of kids from the Big Brothers program tonight. So you'll have to put up with me until then.” She grinned. “But I promise I won't smother you.”
Cassie chuckled. “Good. Um...I think I heard the doorbell. You might want to get that.”
Lauren had heard it, too. She left the room and headed downstairs and was stunned to find Gabe on the other side of the door when she swung it back on its hinges.
“Oh...hi.”
“Hey,” he said, looking gorgeous beneath the overhead light. “I just stopped in to check on Cassie. I called her earlier, and she said she was here.”
She did? Lauren needed to have a talk with her friend. She'd bet her boots Cassie had deliberately arranged this meeting. Her friend wasn't averse to a little matchmaking. Too bad it was pointless. “I didn't realize you had her number.”
His mouth twitched. “I got it from Cameron.”
“Oh, right. Well, she's upstairs...third room on the right.”
Lauren turned on her heels and headed back down the hall. He could close the door. He could make his own way upstairs. She didn't want to spend any more time with him than was necessary. It was the only way she'd succeed in getting him out of her system.
But damn it if she couldn't hear them talking and laughing from her spot in the kitchen. The sound traveled down the stairway and managed to spur on her mounting jealousy and resentment.
She was about fifteen minutes into preparing dinner when she felt Gabe's presence in the room. Lauren looked up and noticed him in the doorway, arms crossed and one shoulder resting against the doorjamb.
“How does she seem?” she asked stiffly, slicing cucumber as though it was the enemy.
“Good,” he replied, and pushed himself off the door frame. “Recovering well.”
“So nice of you to make a house call.” She turned toward the sink. “You know the way out.”
But he stepped closer. “Is every conversation we have going to be a battle from now on?”
She
harrumphed
. “Probably. I should have stuck to my guns that night at my brother's wedding and ignored you. My life was simpler then.”
“We couldn't ignore one another if we tried,” he said, and was suddenly behind the counter.
“Oh, I can try,” she assured him. “And I will.”
He turned and rested his behind on the countertop. “I don't know what it is about you, Lauren... You make me think about things. You have a way of getting under my skin.”
“Like a burr?” She wasn't going to be nice to him. Lauren finished the salad and soup she'd prepared for Cassie and placed it on a tray. “I'm going to take this upstairs. When I come back down, I'd prefer it if you weren't here.”
By the time she was upstairs, her knees were wobbling so much she had to quickly place the tray on the bed. She looked at her smiling friend.
“I figure this is your doing?”
Cassie shrugged innocently. “Maybe a little. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to make sure I was okay. He's very nice. You shouldn't give up so easily.”
“I'm not giving up,” she said, and propped another pillow behind her friend. “I'm just not going to waste time dreaming about something that will never happen.”
She lingered in the room for a few more minutes, giving Gabe plenty of time to leave. But when she returned to the kitchen, he was still there, still standing by the counter.
She heard his phone buzz.
“I think you just missed a call.”
“I didn't miss it,” he said, and shrugged a shoulder. “I didn't answer it.”
“Girl trouble?” she inquired, hurting all over just thinking about it.
He half smiled, as though he knew she hated imagining him with some faceless woman. “My mom,” he explained. “Or my brother Aaron...checking up on me.”
“Do you need to be checked on?”
“They seem to think so,” he said, and pushed himself off the counter.
“Well, I guess it's natural for a mother to worry when one of her kids lives on the other side of the world. I don't imagine my mother would be any different. She likes that Cameron and I both live close by. It makes her feel as though everything is right in her world. I don't think it matters how old we get...she just needs to know we're safe and happy, because that makes
her
feel safe and happy.”
His gaze darkened, and he looked at her oddly. “You know, I don't think I've ever thought about it quite like that before.”
Lauren's knees wobbled again. She was trying hard to stay strong and ignore him. But staring into Gabe's brilliant blue eyes wasn't helping. Hearing the seductive tone of his voice wasn't helping, either.
She shrugged. “I don't think we ever fully understand how hard it is for parents to let us live our own lives. They want to protect us from being hurt and from enduring life's disappointments. Even though it can sometimes feel like being wrapped in cotton wool and then be overprotected.”
“Is that what happened to you?” he asked quietly. “After Tim died?”
Lauren nodded. “And again when my marriage ended. With Tim... I think because it happened so quickly, I was in shock. One moment I was planning my wedding, the next I was dressed in black and standing beside his grave. There was no time to prepare...to say goodbye. I was so mad at him for shutting me out that I didn't spend time telling him the important things...like how much he meant to me and how much I would miss him.”
“Maybe he didn't want to hear that,” Gabe said, his voice soft and husky. “Maybe he couldn't have borne your sadness, and it was all he could do to control what was happening to him. Maybe he didn't want your pity and didn't want to witness your grief and your tears. And perhaps you being mad at him for shutting you out...well, maybe that made him feel
normal...
as though he wasn't defined by his illness. Like he was still the person you loved, still a healthy and strong man and not only a terminally ill cancer patient.”
Lauren's throat burned. The raw truth in his words cut deep. Everything Gabe said made sense. Somehow, he knew how to reach into the depths of her soul.
She blinked to avoid the tears that threatened to spill. “Tim never got angry with me for reacting like I did. But
I
was angry with me. For a week I walked around in a daze. All I could think was how my wedding plans were ruined. I was so selfish.”
“No,” Gabe said gently. “Despair has many faces, Lauren. Focusing on your wedding plans was simply a coping mechanism. It's not so hard to understand.”
She nodded, agreeing with him with her heart, even though her head told her to forget him and find someone who truly wanted her back. “I guess you would have seen grief like that before. I mean, dealing with patients and their families.”
“I... Yes,” he said quietly. “Of course.”
His unwavering gaze was deeply intense and made Lauren's heart race. Heat and awareness coiled through the space between them, somehow drawing them closer, even though they were two feet apart. They weren't touching, but Lauren
felt
his presence like a lover's caress.
Suddenly, the middle road she'd been longing for seemed passionless and bland.
And the man in front of her was the one man she wanted for the rest of her life.
Chapter Nine
“H
as Gabe gone home?”
Lauren picked up the tray from Cassie's bedside table and ignored the way her heart beat faster simply at the mention of his name. He'd left with the barest of goodbyes, and she'd breathed a sigh of immense relief once he'd walked out the door.
“Yes,” she replied. “But he said he'd check on you in a couple of days.”
“That's sweet of him,” Cassie said, and grinned. “Although I'm not sure he's actually dropping by to see me.”
Lauren frowned. “You're as obvious as my mother.”
Her friend began ticking off his attributes on her fingers. “He's handsome, charming, single and a doctor...what more do you need?”
Commitment and love...
She wanted exactly what she'd been saying she didn't want. And neither she was likely to get from Gabe Vitali.
“He doesn't want a relationship. He's commitmentphobic.” Lauren sighed heavily. “Looks, charm and medical degree aside, he's emotionally unavailable.”
“I'm not so sure,” Cassie said. “Maybe he's just been unlucky in love and is wary of getting close to someone again.”
That's not it.
But there
was
something...some reason why he pulled back and made it clear he wanted to avoid commitment. And Lauren was sure it had nothing to do with a failed relationship. It was something else...something deeper. Something that was somehow wrapped up in the patient he lost, his decision to quit being a doctor and then choosing to move his life to Crystal Point.
“Perhaps,” she said, and shrugged. “It doesn't matter anyway. He's not for me.”
“Settling isn't the answer,” Cassie said quietly. “I know you have this idea that you want an uncomplicated, painless relationship...but relationships
are
complicated. And they can be painful and messy. Just because things ended so tragically with Tim and then you married a man you didn't love, it doesn't mean you have to make do with ordinary.”
But ordinary won't break my heart.
And Gabe would.
Hadn't he already told her as much?
“I don't believe in the fairy tale anymore,” she said, and knew it was a lie. “You should rest. My folks will be home soon. I'll see you tomorrow.”
She headed downstairs, and once the dishes had been done, Lauren made her way to the front living room. As always, the photographs on the mantel drew her closer. Dear Tim, she thought as she looked at his picture with a familiar sadness. Was Gabe right? Had Tim kept his illness a secret so she wouldn't pity him...so he wouldn't have to deal with her thinking of him as sick? As somehow less than a man? In the years since his death, she'd thought of his reasons countless times and always ended up believing he'd wanted to protect her from the inevitable grief and loss. But what if it was more than that? Had she been so blind? So self-centered, she hadn't considered that Tim was protecting himself, too?
When her mother arrived home, she was still sitting in the front room, still thinking about the man she'd loved and lost. And she thought about Gabe, too...and wondered how she'd managed to develop feelings for someone she hardly knew. It was different to the way she'd fallen for James. Her ex-husband hadn't made her think...want...need. He hadn't stirred her mind and body the way Gabe did. James had been an escape from the terrible anguish of losing Tim. Nothing more. She was ashamed to admit it to herself. He'd deserved better. And so had she.
By the time she returned to her house, showered and changed and rolled into bed, it was past ten. There were lights on next door, and she wondered if Gabe was up late working on the renovations in the house. Once the work was done, she was sure he'd sell the place. What then? Would they see one another as infrequently as they had before he'd moved next door?
Sleep eluded her, and after staring at the shadows bouncing off the ceiling for most of the night, Lauren snatched a few restless hours before she pulled herself out of bed at seven, dressed and drove into Bellandale. She swapped her car for the store's van and then headed back to Crystal Point Surf Club & Community Center to collect the gowns that had been left there after the benefit. She'd borrowed Cameron's key and hoped she could get the task done before Gabe arrived for work.
No such luck.
He turned up just as she was trekking the third armload of gowns down the stairs.
He stood at the bottom of the stairway. “Need some help?”
Lauren brushed past him and clutched the gowns. “No, thank you,” she said as she stomped through the doorway and loaded the dresses neatly into the back of the van. When she returned inside, he was still by the stairs.
“How did you get in?” he asked.
“I borrowed my brother's keys. I didn't think it would be a big deal.”
“It's not,” he replied, and followed her up the stairs. “Stop being stubborn and let me help you.”
Lauren glared at him. “I'm not stubborn.”
He raised one dark brow. “Yeah, right,” he said, and held out his arms. “Give me what needs to be taken downstairs.”
Lauren's mouth tightened, but she did as he asked. It only took another twenty minutes to get everything in the van, including the three metal hanging rails he quickly pulled apart and loaded in the back of the vehicle.
“Thanks. I appreciate your help,” she said as she closed the back door to the van.
“No problem. Do you want me to follow you and carry this stuff back into your store?”
“Ah, no,” she said quickly. “My mother will be there to help. Thanks again.”
“Do you like working with your mom?” he asked unexpectedly, and followed her around to the driver's door. “And running your own business?”
“It's what I've always done,” she replied.
“Which isn't exactly an answer, is it?”
Lauren shrugged. “My mother opened the store twenty-five years ago. I took over when I graduated from business college. Do I like it?” She sighed deeply. “It's all I know. I like it well enough.”
But his glittering gaze saw straight through her facade. “Sometimes it makes you unhappy.”
“Some days,” she admitted. “Other days it's not so bad. When I was younger, I guess I was wrapped up in the romance of it all. The gowns...the tradition... Back then it seemed to have a purpose. Now...not so much.”
Because Tim died, and I discovered that not everyone gets their happy ending....
His phone beeped, and he ignored it like he had before. Lauren's eyes widened. “So did you end up calling your mother and brother?”
Gabe stared at her for a second and then grinned a little. “Not yet.”
Lauren grunted under her breath. “I didn't peg you to be the inconsiderate type.”
“Inconsiderate?”
He repeated the word and frowned. “I'm not.”
“You might want to remind your family of that the next time you speak with them,” she said, and smiled ultrasweetly. “If you ever get around to it.”
Lauren watched as his resentment grew. To his credit, he kept a lid on his rising annoyance. She wasn't usually driven to lecture someone she hardly knew. He'd accused her of getting under his skin.... The problem was, he did exactly the same thing to her.
And no one had ever made her so reactive.
Gabe challenged her thoughts and ideals. He made her really
think
about things. And he had, in a matter of weeks, forced her out of the self-absorbed routine she'd disguised as her life. Even her plans to find someone to share her life with had been tainted with the memories of all she'd lost. But who was she kidding? Settling for a passionless, loveless relationship was no way to live. And in her heart, she knew she could never honor Tim by settling for less.
Looking at Gabe, it was easy to get lost in his blue eyes and handsome face...but there was so much more to him than that. And that was what she found so hard to resist. He was charming, certainly. And sexy. But he was also kind and generous, and despite her silly accusation, clearly considerate and helpful. Hadn't he come to her aid countless times? Like when she was forced to look after Jed. Or how he'd helped her dad after his fall. And he'd shown incredible concern for Cassie and her baby. There was something elementally
good
about Gabe. And that was what she was so attracted to. That was why her heart pounded whenever he was close.
That's why I've fallen in love with him....
She shivered, even though the breeze was warm.
Oh, God...it's true.
“Lauren?” His voice seemed to whisper on the wind. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, shell-shocked at the unexpected intensity of her feelings. How ironic that she'd done exactly the opposite of what she'd planned after her divorce. She'd derided attraction and desire and now found herself craving Gabe's touch more than she had ever wanted any man before. And love? She'd put it out of her head, too. Because it scared her so much to want love again.
“I'm...I'm fine,” she stammered. “I have to go.”
Another car pulled up just as she opened the door to the van. Two people emerged from the small yellow car. Megan and another equally pretty and sporty-looking woman in her mid-twenties. It took Lauren two seconds to notice how the other woman looked at Gabe as if she wanted to devour him.
“You could stay,” he said with a grin as they approached. “For protection.”
Lauren's mouth twisted. “I'm sure you're capable of protecting yourself.”
“That's Megan's older sister,” he explained.
“That's a woman with her eye on the prize,” Lauren said as she hopped into the van and drove off, drowning in jealousy.
And feeling like the biggest fool of all time.
* * *
It took Gabe twenty minutes to extract himself from the clutches of Megan's persistent sibling. She reminded him that her name was Cara and asked for his number. He avoided answering her, pleading a pile of urgent paperwork on his desk.
Once she left and Megan headed to the beach for her patrol shift, Gabe wrote a list of things he needed to do for the day.
Thing number one: stop thinking about Lauren.
Thing number two: stop dreaming about Lauren.
He snatched a glance at his cell phone on the desk. He really should call his mother. And Aaron. But he just wasn't in the mood to talk. Or to be talked
at.
His mom would know something was up. She'd dig and dig until he admitted that he'd met someone. That he
liked
someone. And that his beautiful next-door neighbor was driving him crazy.
Then Claire Vitali would want to know everything.
And he had nothing to say.
Lauren was broken emotionally. He was broken physically. It could never work. The more he knew her, the more it served to strengthen his resolve. Even though he could have easily talked himself into it. The way she looked at him, the way she'd responded to his kiss at the benefit, the way she argued and contradicted him at every opportunity... It was like pouring gasoline on a bonfire. Everything about Lauren drew him in. Her face, her body, the sweet floral scent of her skin...every part of her connected with every part of him.
Which was as inconvenient as hell.
Even more inconvenient was the sight of Megan's sister standing on his doorstep at seven o'clock that evening. He'd been home for several hours. He'd changed and gone for a run, then returned home to work on painting one of the guest rooms. He'd just emerged from showering and pulling on fresh jeans and a T-shirt when the tall brunette had arrived on his doorstep clutching the textbook he'd loaned to Megan. Returning the book had been her excuse for dropping by, and he made a mental note to query Megan about handing out his address.
His visitor managed to wheedle her way up the hall and into the front living room, and Gabe was just about all out of patience when he heard another knock on his front door. Gabe told Cara to stay put and headed up the hallway.
Lauren stood beneath the porch light. In a long floral skirt and pale blue T-shirt she almost stole his breath. Gabe quickly pulled himself together.
“Hey...what's up?” he asked.
She held out an envelope. “The estimate for the fence looks reasonable. There's a check in there with my half of the initial payment.”
“Thanks for getting back to me,” he said quietly and took the note. “I'll let the contractor know he can start as soon as possible.”
She shrugged, and the T-shirt slipped off her shoulder a little. “Okay.”
The sight of her bare skin heated his blood, and he swallowed hard. “If you like, I'llâ”
“Gabe?”
Great.
His unwelcome guest chose that moment to come sauntering down the hall, hips swaying, calling his name. He saw Lauren's expression tighten. And as stupid as he knew it was, he didn't want her thinking he was entertaining some random woman in his home.
“Sorry,” she said, breathing harder than usual. “I didn't realize you had company.”
“I don't,” he said, and her brows shot up instantly. It was stupid. They weren't together. They weren't dating. They weren't sleeping together.
One kiss...that was all it was...
And even though there was nothing going on with the unwanted woman in his hallway, Gabe still felt like an unfaithful jerk.
“You can do what you like,” Lauren shot back, and swiveled on her heels.
She quickly disappeared down the garden, and Gabe let out an impatient sigh.
“You have to go,” he said to the woman now at his side. “Good night.”
Minutes later, after quickly packing Cara into her car and waving her off, Gabe walked around the hedge and tapped on Lauren's door. The screen was locked, but the door was open, and he could hear her banging pots in the kitchen.