Read Handwriting Online

Authors: Michael Ondaatje

Handwriting (3 page)

Five poems without mentioning the river prawn.

vii

The women of Boralesgamuwa

uproot lotus in mid-river

skin reddened by floating pollen

Songs to celebrate the washing

of arms and bangles

This laughter when husbands are away

An uncaught prawn hiding by their feet

The three folds on their stomachs

considered a sign of beauty

They try out all their ankle bracelets

during these afternoons

viii

The pepper vine shaken and shaken

like someone in love

Leaf patterns

saffron and panic seed

on the lower pillows

where their breath met

while she loosened

from her hips the string

with three calling bells

her fearless heart

light as a barn owl

against him all night

ix

An old book on the poisons

of madness, a map

of forest monasteries,

a chronicle brought across

the sea in Sanskrit slokas.

I hold all these

but you have become

a ghost for me.

I hold only your shadow

since those days I drove

your nature away.

A falcon who became a coward.

I hold you the way astronomers

draw constellations for each other

in the markets of wisdom

placing shells

on a dark blanket

saying “these

are the heavens”

calculating the movement

of the great stars

x

Walking through rainstorms to a tryst,

the wet darkness of her aureoles

the Sloka, the Pada, the secret Rasas

the curved line of her shadow

the Vasanta-Tilaka or Upajati metres

bare feet down ironwood stairs

A confluence now

of her eyes,

her fingers, her teeth

as she tightens the hood

over the gaze of a falcon

Love arrives and dies in all disguises

and we fear to move

because of old darknesses

or childhood danger

So our withdrawing words

our skating hearts

xi

Life before desire,

without conscience.

Cities without rivers or bells.

Where is the forest

not cut down

for profit or literature

whose blossoms instead

will close the heart

Where is the suitor

undistressed

one can talk with

Where is there a room

without the damn god of love?

3
Flight

In the half-dark cabin of Air Lanka Flight 5

the seventy-year-old lady next to me begins to comb

her long white hair, then braids it in the faint light.

Her husband, Mr Jayasinghe, asleep beside her.

Pins in her mouth. She rolls her hair,

curls it into a bun, like my mother’s.

Two hours before reaching Katunayake airport.

Wells

i

The rope jerked up

so the bucket flies

into your catch

pours over you

its moment

of encasement

standing in sunlight

wanting more,

another poem please

and each time

recognition and caress,

the repeated pleasure

of finite things.

Hypnotized by lyric.

This year’s kisses

like diving a hundred times

from a moving train

into the harbour

like diving a hundred times

from a moving train

into the harbour

ii

The last Sinhala word I lost

was
vatura
.

The word for water.

Forest water. The water in a kiss. The tears

I gave to my ayah Rosalin on leaving

the first home of my life.

More water for her than any other

that fled my eyes again

this year, remembering her,

a lost almost-mother in those years

of thirsty love.

No photograph of her, no meeting

since the age of eleven,

not even knowledge of her grave.

Who abandoned who, I wonder now.

iii

In the sunless forest

of Ritigala

heat in the stone

heat in the airless black shadows

nine soldiers on leave

strip uniforms off

and dig a well

to give thanks

for surviving this war

A puja in an unnamed grove

the way someone you know

might lean forward

and mark the place

where your soul is

—always, they say,

near to a wound.

In the sunless forest

crouched by a forest well

pulling what was lost

out of the depth.

The Siyabaslakara

In the 10th century, the young princess

entered a rock pool like the moon

within a blue cloud

Her sisters

who dove, lit by flares,

were lightning

Water and erotics

The path from the king to rainmaking

—his dark shoulders a platform

against the youngest instep

waving her head above him

this way

this way

Later the art of aqueducts,

the banning of monks

from water events

so they would not be caught

within the melodious sounds

or in the noon heat

under the rain of her hair

Driving with Dominic
in the Southern Province
We See Hints of the Circus

The tattered Hungarian tent

A man washing a trumpet

at a roadside tap

Children in the trees,

one falling

into the grip of another

Death at Kataragama

For half the day blackouts stroke this house into stillness so there is no longer a whirring fan or the hum of light. You hear sounds of a pencil being felt for in a drawer in the dark and then see its thick shadow in candlelight, writing the remaining words. Paragraphs reduced to one word. A punctuation mark. Then another word, complete as a thought. The way someone’s name holds terraces of character, contains all of our adventures together. I walk the corridors which might perhaps, I’m not sure, be cooler than the rest of the house. Heat at noon. Heat in the darkness of night.

There is a woodpecker I am enamoured of I saw this morning through my binoculars. A red thatch roof to his head more modest than crimson, deeper than blood. Distance is always clearer. I no longer see words in focus. As if my soul is a blunt tooth. I bend too close to the page to get nearer to what is being understood. What I write will drift away. I will be able to understand the world only at arm’s length.

Can my soul step into the body of that woodpecker? He may be too hot in sunlight, it could be a limited life. But if this had been offered to me today, at 9 a.m., I would have gone with him, traded this body for his.

A constant fall of leaf around me in this time of no rain like the continual habit of death. Someone soon will say of me, “his body was lying in Kataragama like a pauper.” Vanity
even when we are a corpse. For a blue hand that contains no touch or desire in it for another.

There is something else. Not just the woodpecker. Ten water buffalo when I stopped the car. They were being veered from side to side under the sun. The sloshing of their hooves in the paddy field that I heard thirty yards away, my car door open for the breeze, the haunting sound I was caught within as if creatures of magnificence were undressing and removing their wings. My head and almost held breath out there for an hour so that later I felt as if I contained that full noon light.

It was water in an earlier life I could not take into my mouth when I was dying. I was soothed then the way a plant would be, brushed with a wet cloth, as I reduced all thought into requests. Take care of this flower. Less light. Curtain. As I lay there prone during the long vigil of my friends. The ache of ribs from too much sleep or fever—bones that protect the heart and breath in battle, during love beside another. Saliva, breath, fluids, the soul. The place bodies meet is the place of escape.

But this time brutal aloneness. The straight stern legs of the woodpecker braced against the jak fruit as he delves for a meal. Will he feel the change in his nature as my soul enters? Will it go darker? Or will I enter as I always do another’s nest, in their clothes and with their rules for a particular life.

Or I could leap into knee-deep mud potent with rice. Ten water buffalo. A quick decision. Not goals considered all our lives but, in the final minutes, sudden choice. This morning it
was a woodpecker. A year ago the face of someone on a train. We depart into worlds that have nothing to do with those we love. This woman whose arm I would hold and comfort, that book I wanted to make and shape tight as a stone—I would give everything away for this sound of mud and water, hooves, great wings

The Great Tree

“Zou Fulei died like a dragon breaking down a wall …

this line composed and ribboned

in cursive script

by his friend the poet Yang Weizhen

whose father built a library

surrounded by hundreds of plum trees

It was Zou Fulei, almost unknown,

who made the best plum flower painting

of any period

One branch lifted into the wind

and his friend’s vertical line of character

their tones of ink

—wet to opaque

dark to pale

each sweep and gesture

trained and various

echoing the other’s art

In the high plum-surrounded library

where Yang Weizhen studied as a boy

a moveable staircase was pulled away

to ensure his solitary concentration

His great work

“untrammelled” “eccentric” “unorthodox”

“no taint of the superficial”

   “no flamboyant movement”

using at times the lifted tails

of archaic script,

sharing with Zou Fulei

his leaps and darknesses

        *

“So I have always held you in my heart …

The great 14th-century poet calligrapher

mourns the death of his friend

Language attacks the paper from the air

There is only a path of blossoms

no flamboyant movement

A night of smoky ink in 1361

a night without a staircase

The Story

i

For his first forty days a child

is given dreams of previous lives.

Journeys, winding paths,

a hundred small lessons

and then the past is erased.

Some are born screaming,

some full of introspective wandering

into the past—that bus ride in winter,

the sudden arrival within

a new city in the dark.

And those departures from family bonds

leaving what was lost and needed.

So the child’s face is a lake

of fast moving clouds and emotions.

A last chance for the clear history of the self.

All our mothers and grandparents here,

our dismantled childhoods

in the buildings of the past.

Some great forty-day daydream

before we bury the maps.

ii

There will be a war, the king told his pregnant wife.

In the last phase seven of us will cross

the river to the east and disguise ourselves

through the farmlands.

We will approach the markets

and befriend the rope-makers. Remember this.

She nods and strokes the baby in her belly.

After a month we will enter

the halls of that king.

There is dim light from small high windows.

We have entered with no weapons,

just rope in the baskets.

We have trained for years

to move in silence, invisible,

not one creak of bone,

not one breath,

even in lit rooms,

in order to disappear into this building

where the guards live in half-light.

When a certain night falls

the seven must enter the horizontal door

remember this, face down,

as in birth.

Then (he tells his wife)

there is the corridor of dripping water,

a noisy rain, a sense

of creatures at your feet.

And we enter halls of further darkness,

cold and wet among the enemy warriors.

To overcome them we douse the last light.

After battle we must leave another way

avoiding all doors to the north …

(The king looks down

and sees his wife is asleep

in the middle of the adventure.

He bends down and kisses through the skin

the child in the body of his wife.

Both of them in dreams. He lies there,

watches her face as it catches a breath.

He pulls back a wisp across her eye

and bites it off. Braids it

into his own hair, then sleeps beside them.)

Other books

Hold On by Hilary Wynne
The House of Pain by Tara Crescent
No Orchids for Miss Blandish by James Hadley Chase
Learning to Ride by Erin Knightley


readsbookonline.com Copyright 2016 - 2024