Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2) (18 page)

She listened as Elaine struggled to gain control of herself. “I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.” Caroline’s eyes misted.

She heard her sister’s sobs grow fainter.

“Hi, Aunty Caroline.” It was her ten-year-old niece, Emma. “I can’t believe you’re marrying Josh McInnes. I’ve told all my friends. Can I come stay with you next school holidays? I want to meet him. Does he know One Direction? What about Katy Perry? Does he know any movie stars? Can I come to Hollywood with you?”

Caroline laughed. “I’ll talk to Josh, sweetie, see what we can do.”

“Cool.” And then she was gone.

Caroline stared at the phone for a minute before handing it back to Josh. He took it silently before signalling to the driver to pull over. He climbed out of the limo and strode into a British Telecom shop. A few minutes later, he handed her the latest iPhone.

“We’ll set it up on the plane.”

Caroline eyed the box with suspicion. “I don’t want a phone. I don’t need a phone.”

“Your sister had to call Lake to get my number so that she could talk to you. You need a phone. How are people supposed to talk to you if you don’t have one?”

“They call my house and leave a message. Or call work to talk to me. Or they walk to my door. Everyone I know is in Invertary. I don’t need a phone.”

He turned towards her. “Elaine isn’t in Invertary. Your sister needed to talk to you. And I might like to talk to you without leaving a message for you to get back to me.”

Caroline plonked the phone on the seat beside her and folded her arms. “So this is about you.”

“No, this is about people being able to get hold of you. It’s about you being safe. What if you’re out alone and get hounded by the press? What if some crazed fan decides they want to get too close to you? You need to be able to call for help.”

Caroline glared at him. “You’re blowing this out of proportion. Lots of people don’t have cell phones.”

Even as the words came out of her mouth, she realised they were arguing about something ridiculous.

“You’re keeping the phone.” He clenched his jaw.

“I don’t need it.”

“Caroline, I just decked a photographer,” he said, like that explained everything.

“You didn’t have to.”

“Yes. I did.” He turned to her, and his demeanour was intense. “I’ve been living with this crap for years. It comes with the territory. I’m not an idiot. I court the press. I have to, otherwise I won’t sell records and I want to sell records. But the paparazzi are something else. They don’t play by the rules. They don’t care what damage they cause. They don’t care that something is off limits. They’ll do whatever it takes to make their money. And that includes hounding the people I care about.”

Caroline bit her bottom lip. Her stomach had squeezed into a tight ball.

Josh gave her a look, which she assumed meant he was the boss. “You’re taking the cell phone and you’re going to keep it on you at all times. On top of that, I’m going to talk to Lake about a bodyguard for you.”

Caroline blustered, “You will not! I don’t want some random guy following me around. I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, right.” He tapped the screen on his phone before putting it to his ear. “Lake? Yeah, got a problem here. I punched a paparazzo in Harrods. I’m worried about Caroline. Can you sort out someone to watch over her?” There was silence for a moment as Caroline fumed. “Great. We’re on the same page, then. See you when we get there.” He hung up and gave her a smug smile.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Caroline wanted to punch the man. “You are so going to regret it.”

The mood changed in the car. Suddenly the tension and anger was gone. Josh’s eyes sparkled at her. He was amused. Again. Well, too bloody bad. Caroline was furious.

“What you going to do, honey? Call off the wedding?” He grinned widely. “You never back down on your word. Remember? Plus, if you run off now I’ll get my studio and the castle restoration will stop dead. Is that what you want?”

“I might be marrying you, Josh McInnes. But I don’t have to make it pleasant and I don’t have to be nice to you.”

The infuriating man leaned forward and touched his nose to hers. “Bring it on, honey. Give me everything you’ve got.”

Caroline made a growling sound in the back of her throat, wrenched herself out of his grip and slid as far away from him on the seat as she could get. While she glared out at the passing streets, Josh’s deep chuckle filled the car.

That was the last time she’d spoken to him. Even when he’d walked her home. She’d just opened the door, walked inside and slammed it in his face. She’d heard him laughing on the other side before she’d stalked to the kitchen. And now her answer machine was blinking with messages. Messages she planned to ignore for the first time in her life.

Caroline took her tea into the living room and threw herself into the threadbare sofa. She covered her face with her hands. Her life was unravelling. Her sister was upset. Josh was interfering with everything and bossing her around—when no one bossed her around. Ever. Celebrities were coming to town and she had no idea how to behave around them, let alone what to wear when she met them. Beth had quit her job, leaving Caroline in the lurch. The paparazzi were circling like buzzards. The town was on lockdown. The domino boys were playing soldier. And there were stolen sex books on her desk.

She grabbed a cushion from beside her and screamed loudly into it.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

At two o’clock in the morning, Caroline woke to loud music. For a minute she wasn’t sure where the noise was coming from. She didn’t have the sort of neighbours who threw wild parties. She had neighbours who misplaced their hearing aids and called the fire brigade to help find them.

As the fog from her brain cleared, she realised that the music was coming from outside. Close outside. Her front yard, to be exact. Caroline threw back the curtains and peered out. What the heck? Josh was standing in the middle of her tiny lawn with a stereo at his feet. He waved happily when he saw her, and then threw his arms wide. Before she could blink, he was belting out “Sweet Caroline.”

Caroline stepped back from the window in shock. She rubbed her eyes. If this was a dream, it was a blooming noisy one. She pulled the curtain back again. Nope. No dream. Josh was still there. Singing. Loudly. She pushed up the old sash window and leaned out. He was mid-song now, and lights were coming on along the street. Morag McKay stood on her doorstep in pink terry robe and hairnet. You didn’t need Superman’s eyesight to know she had a scowl on her face.

Caroline pointed at Josh. “Stop that right now.”

He grinned. Caroline froze. That wasn’t a Josh grin. She stared at him in horror. It was Josh, but it wasn’t Josh. Her poor sleep-deprived brain couldn’t quite understand what she was seeing. He was wearing a suit, a black one with pristine white shirt and black shoelace tie. Caroline had only known him a week, but in that time she’d never seen him in anything but cartoon T-shirts. He kept singing.

“Be quiet. If this is your idea of apologising, it isn’t working. I’m still mad at you.”

He rocked back on his heels, did a little twirl and carried on singing.

Caroline slammed the window shut. Stormed through her bedroom and barrelled down the stairs, without stopping for a robe or shoes. She threw open her front door wearing only her pyjamas.

“Josh.” She stopped dead.

That wasn’t Josh. He looked a lot like him. He had the moves. He even sounded like him. But he wasn’t Josh. This guy was shorter, less muscled, and his features weren’t right. Close enough to mistake in the dark, but anyone who knew Josh would know this man wasn’t him. Whoever it was grinned widely at her, then winked. Caroline stepped back into the house, closed the door, locked it tight and called the police.

“This is a new one even for me,” Officer Donaldson told her. “Thought I saw everything during my time in London, but I never came across a woman with her own personal tribute band.”

Caroline pursed her lips. “He isn’t my tribute band. He isn’t pretending to be Caroline. He’s out there pretending he’s Josh. In the middle of the night. Waking up the street.”

Officer Donaldson’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “I know that, Caroline. I’m taking him back to the station. Do you want me to charge him with trespassing and disturbing the peace?”

Caroline chewed her lip. In her normal run-of-the-mill existence, there had never been a reason to decide whether a singing stranger should be charged by the police. “How about a warning?”

Donaldson nodded. “He seems harmless enough. Maybe a bit overenthusiastic about the wedding, though.”

Caroline toed the carpet with her bare foot, vaguely wondering if she should start painting her toenails now that there was a man in her life. Her back snapped straight. A man she was mad at. A man she wasn’t talking to. That sort of man didn’t get painted toenails.

Donaldson smiled at her. “He came all the way here from America as soon as he heard about the wedding. Keeps telling me he’s Josh’s biggest fan.”

“That’s what Kathy Bates said right before she chopped off James Caan’s foot in
Misery
.”

“She didn’t chop off his foot in the movie, she smashed it. You’re thinking about the book, that’s where her character chopped off the guy’s foot.”

Caroline glared at him. Really? That was relevant how? He was totally missing the point.

“Okay,” Donaldson said, as he ran a hand through his short black hair, making it stand on end. He didn’t seem to care. Someone said something through the radio that was strapped to the shoulder of his blue uniform. “This thing is going to get crazier before it settles down. Your wedding is attracting a lot of attention. I know you think you have the town locked down tight, what with the domino boys manning barely legal barriers that I’m turning a blind eye to, but the crazies are still going to slip through.”

Caroline didn’t say anything. What could she say? Her life had become entertainment for everyone she knew.

The police officer sighed. “I’ll talk to Josh. See if we can sort out some security for you. Keep the nutters away until after the wedding.”

“No!” Caroline took a step towards him. “He already arranged something with Lake and I told him I don’t want it.”

Donaldson put his hands on his lean hips and looked down at her. Not quite as tall as Josh, but not far off. He had the whole police demeanour thing going for him, so it was quite intimidating. Caroline rallied all of her skills in dealing with difficult people. “This is my business, not Josh’s. You don’t need to talk to him.”

Officer Donaldson studied her for a moment. “Caroline, if you were my fiancée I’d be seriously cheesed off if someone was harassing you and I didn’t find out.”

“No one was harassing me. It’s just an enthusiastic fan singing in my garden.”

“The garden of a woman alone. In the middle of the night.”

Caroline swallowed hard. “I don’t want to tell Josh.”

He leaned in towards her. “Why?”

She bit her lip.

“Caroline.” His tone said he was running out of patience.

“Fine.” She folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air. “Because I’m not talking to him. I don’t want him to know because I don’t plan to talk to him, or deal with him, until I walk down the aisle. And even then, the only words I plan to say are ‘I do.’ Then I may never talk to him again.”

Donaldson fought a grin as Caroline surged on, her anger winning over her normally icy demeanour.

“He’s annoying. He’s arrogant. He’s bossy. He doesn’t listen to a word I say. He keeps butting in on things that are none of his business. He does what he wants when he wants—without listening to what I tell him. In fact, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t listen to me at all. He certainly doesn’t do what he’s told, and I’ve had enough. So I don’t want you to tell him. Do you hear me, Officer Donaldson?”

She pointed at him then realised she was pointing. Caroline never pointed at people. It was rude. She clasped her hands together tightly but kept up the glare. Damn man was almost as annoying as Josh.

“Yeah, I hear you. You don’t want me to tell him because you’re giving him the silent treatment?”

She straightened her shoulders, and for the first time in her life had to work at being intimidating. “No. I’m explaining the dynamics of our arrangement. He is
not
in charge.”

She didn’t say that she was in charge. As far as she was concerned, that went without saying.

The police officer threw back his head and laughed. “Fine, Caroline. I’ll let you handle this the way you want.”

She nodded. About time.

He went out the door, shaking his head while chuckling. “This should be fun,” she heard him say before the door shut behind him.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Josh balanced carefully on the planks that were now his hall floor as he made his way to the kitchen for breakfast. It was quiet for a change. Usually the noise was overwhelming. It didn’t sound like a renovation. It sounded like a demolition. Every day the castle looked worse than the day before. There were gaps in the walls, holes in the floors and dust everywhere. But it was the noise more than anything else that was getting to him. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t work. And couldn’t get a minute to himself.