Goody Two Shoes (Invertary Book 2) (20 page)

“Answer the question, lass,” Archie said.

She stared him down. “It’s none of your business.”

“Same way keeping photographers away from your wedding is none of our business and acting like your secretary is none of our business?”

Caroline scowled at him. The man fought dirty. “You were the ones that blackmailed your way into helping with the wedding. Congratulations. You’re helping with the wedding.”

“What’s going on with you and Josh?” Archie wasn’t to be dissuaded.

“Fine.” Caroline shooed Betty out of her chair. “If you must know, Josh and I are having some relationship dynamic difficulties and I’m making a few things clear.”

The men looked blank. Betty gave Caroline an evil smile. “She means he isn’t doing what he’s told,” Betty translated.

Caroline gave them her most haughty glare. “He’s bossing me around. And I don’t like it.”

Suddenly all the faces had grins. Knowing grins.

“It was bound to happen,” Malcolm said. “I just never thought it’d be in my lifetime.”

Caroline ignored them as she sorted the mess Betty had made of her desk.

“It bodes well for the rest of us to know there’s one who can do it,” Brian said with a nod.

Caroline frowned at them. “Do what?”

They started to laugh.

“What?” Caroline was really getting annoyed.

“Caroline, love,” Archie said. “Stand up to you. That’s what. You’ve met someone you can’t order around. It’s priceless.”

“That’s it.” She pointed at the door. “Thank you for helping, but now it’s time to leave.”

The men left, still laughing as they went.

“And for your information,” she told them as they walked to the blue room, “this isn’t about who’s in charge, it’s about making it clear to Josh that he can’t tell me what to do. And if he tries, there will be consequences.”

“Yep,” Archie said on a grin. “I’m betting there will be consequences, all right.”

Caroline shut the door on his delighted face. Men. No matter the age, they were all annoying. Including the vicar. She’d just spent an hour going over what she wanted for the wedding because he wouldn’t deal with the wedding planner. She looked at the clock. An hour until she was through for the day, and first thing on her list was placing an ad for a new assistant.

Betty wandered back into Caroline’s office, armed with a cup of tea and a mince pie.

“What are you doing back here?”

Betty pointed at Caroline. “Body.” She pointed at herself. “Guard.”

Caroline ground her teeth. Hard. Trying to ignore her eighty-six-year-old bodyguard, she reached for the phone and called the local paper. The wedding might be taking over her life, but she still had to find a replacement for Beth.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

After a long day dodging her geriatric bodyguard, Caroline was sitting down to a late dinner when the doorbell rang. With a heavy sigh, she opened the door and instantly regretted it. Josh was standing on her doorstep. His arms were folded over his Hong Kong Phooey T-shirt, and he was amused. Determined but amused.

“I’m not talking to you.” Caroline started to close the door.

“Good.” Josh smacked a hand on the door, stopping it mid-swing. “In that case, you can listen.”

Caroline pushed the door. Josh raised an eyebrow at her that said,
Really, you think you’re stronger?
She put her weight behind the door. With a shake of his head, he bent over, picked up a gym bag at his feet and walked past her into the house. Caroline slammed the door and followed him into the kitchen.

“What are you doing? I don’t want you here. I’m not talking to you.”

“I told you, that’s fine. I’ll talk.” He leaned against the counter at the sink—as usual, taking up too much room in her house. “I’m moving in.”

Time stopped. There was a rushing noise in her ears—she was pretty sure it was the sound of steam trying to get out of her head. “You’re what?”

“Moving in. Here. With you.”

“No you are not.”

He smiled at her, reached over and picked a piece of garlic bread from her plate. He ate it slowly.

“Yes,” he said. “I am. The castle is a bombsite. My parents are waging World War III in what’s left of it. The noise is driving me demented. So I’m moving in here. Where it will be quiet, because you’re not talking.”

Caroline folded her arms and tapped her toe on the linoleum. “Get a room at the pub.”

“No.”

“You’re not staying here.”

“Yes. I am. What are you going to do about it? Throw me out?”

A frustrated growl started in the pit of Caroline’s stomach and worked its way up through her clenched teeth. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

He grinned widely. “Neither do you, baby.”

Frustrating. Annoying. Infuriating. Pig-headed man. She clenched her fists then reached for the phone on the wall beside the door. She dialled the police station. Josh casually pulled out a chair at her kitchen table and proceeded to eat his way through her vegetable lasagne. Caroline fought the urge to kick him. Hard.

“Invertary police station,” the woman said.

“Agnes, it’s Caroline Patterson. I need to speak to Officer Donaldson.”

Josh quirked an eyebrow at her. She smiled thinly.

“Is this about that crazy singer the other night?” Agnes said.

“No, it’s about a different one. Can you put Officer Donaldson on the line, please?”

“No problem, honey.”

There was silence while Josh watched her as he casually ate her meal. He thought he was untouchable. She’d see about that.

“Caroline, what can I do for you?” the officer said.

“Josh McInnes is in my house and I want him to leave. Could you come over and escort him out, please?” She gave Josh her “so there” look. He didn’t seem impressed.

“I’m a bit confused, Caroline,” Donaldson said. “Do you mean the real Josh?”

“Yes, the real Josh.” Honestly, she wondered if there was an IQ test for becoming a police officer. There should be.

“You want me to escort your fiancé off the premises?”

“Yes.”

“Has he hurt you in any way?”

“Of course not,” Caroline told him.

“Threatened you?”

“No.”

“Damaged your property, stolen something, made you feel afraid in any way?”

“No.”

“They why do you want me to make him leave?”

“Because…” Caroline knew her tone said she thought she was dealing with an idiot, but she was too annoyed to do anything about it. “He’s here with a bag telling me that he’s moving in, and I told him he isn’t. He’s not listening and I want him gone.”

There was a heavy sigh. “Is the wedding off? Are you and Josh finished?”

“No. I just don’t want the man in my house. I’m not talking to him.”

There was silence. Josh had finished off her meal and was now stretched back in his chair, grinning at her. Like the idiot he was.

“Caroline.” Donaldson’s tone had a hint of suffering to it. “I can’t make your fiancé leave your house unless there’s a legal reason to do so. Turfing him out because you’re giving him the silent treatment doesn’t cut it.”

“But I don’t want him here. And he’s definitely not spending the night.”

There was a heavy sigh. “Put Josh on the phone.”

With a smug smile, Caroline handed the phone to Josh.

“Thanks, baby.”

His attitude made her want to scream. She fought the urge.

“Yeah?” he said into the phone, then there was silence. His eyes hit her. Then he was laughing. Hard. “My place is a pit,” he told Officer Donaldson. “She’s got a crew ripping up floors and tearing down walls.” More silence. “Yeah.” He looked at Caroline, something hot flashing in his eyes. “She’s a handful, all right.”

“That’s it,” Caroline snapped. “Give me that phone.”

Josh handed it over with a lazy smile.

“Why aren’t you telling him to go?” she demanded as soon as the phone was at her ear.

“Caroline, this is a domestic situation. You need to sort it out between the both of you. You don’t need the police. My advice is that you stop giving the guy the cold shoulder and talk to him. Maybe you can deal with this before it’s time for bed. In the meantime, I have proper police work to do. If he gets out of hand, or does anything threatening, give me a call. But seriously, being in a huff with your boyfriend is not a reason to call the cops.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” No. He was the thorn in her side.

“Sort it out,” was all Donaldson said before the line went dead.

Caroline glared at Josh.

“Thanks for dinner.” He stretched lazily. “It was great.”

Caroline made a little strangled noise. “You can’t stay here.”

“I
am
staying here.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“I’m picking up on that.”

“You can’t stay here if I don’t want it.”

He gave her a look that said differently.

They were at a standoff. Caroline honestly didn’t know what to do. She had been sure that the police would have intervened and taken care of things. Maybe she should call Kirsty and get her to use her influence with Lake, then he could kick Josh out. Unfortunately, Lake was working with Josh. Traitor. There was nothing she could do. She was stuck with him.

“I’m still not talking to you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re invisible.”

His mouth twitched. “Want to tell me what I did to deserve the silent treatment?”

“Seriously? You don’t know?”

He shook his head, amused. Caroline felt fury course through her. She counted off his transgressions on her fingers. “You ignored my wishes and organised a bodyguard for me. Which turns out to be Betty, so all that’s doing is winding me up. You bossed me around. You didn’t listen to me. You need a serious attitude adjustment.”

Josh burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes. Caroline waited impatiently for him to calm down. “Great, now I know what I’m being punished for. Have at it. Let me know when you’re done. And Betty isn’t your bodyguard. It’s a guy called Gary. Betty is just hanging out with you because Lake wants her gone.”

Caroline put her hands on her hips. First thing in the morning, she was going to pay a little visit to Lake Benson. In the meantime, she needed to sort out Josh’s delusions.

“Telling me to have at it is not how this works. You’re supposed to learn from your behaviour and change.”

“Oh, I’m learning, all right.” He grinned at her. “I’m learning that your control issues have control issues all of their own. We’re going to be dealing with this for years. So have at it, baby. I’m sure it will make you feel better.”

Caroline clenched her fists at her sides and stamped her foot like a toddler. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she was so angry. She couldn’t even speak. After a minute or two trying to evaporate him with a glare, she turned on her bare feet and stomped up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Josh grinned slowly. It was like dealing with a teenager. He traipsed up the narrow staircase with its faded orange and cream striped wallpaper. At the top of the stairs were three doors. The middle one held a tiny bathroom. The one on the right was open, so he figured the closed door on the left was Caroline’s room. He turned the handle. The door didn’t budge. He shook it. Nothing.

“Caroline. Open up. Seriously, this has gone on long enough. Open the door.”

There was no reply. Josh folded his arms and frowned at the door. “I want to talk.”

He wanted to do a helluva lot more than talk, but he kept that to himself. Still no answer. “This is not the way to start a relationship.” He gritted his teeth. “I’m going to knock down the door.”

“Go ahead and try.” Caroline’s voice was muffled. “But I’m not taking you to the hospital when you break your shoulder.”

“Open the damn door.”

“No. I didn’t ask you here. I don’t want you here. This is exactly the problem I was talking about—you don’t listen to me.”

“You mean I don’t follow orders?”

More silence.

Josh contemplated his options. Kick down the door, or sleep in the guest room. He looked around the postage-stamp-sized landing. There wasn’t enough space to manoeuvre. She was probably right. He’d most likely bounce off the door. He thought about the noise he’d heard earlier. Had she barricaded herself in? He clenched his jaw.

“We’ll deal with this in the morning,” he told the door.

It was a warning. He hoped she heard it loud and clear. With tense movements, he turned to the guest room and flicked on the light. There were two small single beds made up with faded pink blankets. Equally faded pony wallpaper, a white wardrobe and dresser set and a box of well-used dolls made up the rest of the room. Josh stared at the tiny beds for a beat before picking one and lying on it. His legs hung over the end from his knees.