Authors: Lolah Lace
“It’s time for you to buck up and be honest with me.”
“I am being honest.”
“Be honest with me
.” I decided this time I would remain cool. I wouldn’t let my temper get the best of me. “Is this it? Are you done? Are you dumping me, right here, right now?”
“Mason
.” Kari stood. “I love you too much. I’m telling you what’s going on with me. I don’t like to keep things from you. We decided to never keep stuff from each other.”
“Yeah we did. So now what I am supposed to do with this fucked up information.
I already gave you a ring. I can buy you a bigger ring. I can buy you a house. Hell, I can build you a house. I can give you a baby, as many as you want.” My desperation was apparent but I knew this day would come. I was running out of time. My fairy princess was going to ride off into the sunset with another prince. Why do I love this woman so much it hurts?
She remained silent.
“Ring, house, babies. I can make that happen.”
“
A baby by a married man.” She shook her head and twisted her lips.
“A baby by the man you love that loves you.”
“This would be so much easier if you didn’t love me. If my love was unrequited then maybe I could think clearly.”
“Huh, if you didn’t love me back I don’t think it would matter to me. I asked you a while ago if you loved him. Then you said no but now I think you love him. You love Jack.” Was that a question? Let me make it clear. It is a fucking question. “Do you love Jack?”
Kari hung her head down. Shit! Shit! Shit! I can’t believe this.
“Mason.” Her voice trembled and she refused to look at me.
“When the fuck did this happen?”
“I don’
t know.”
“Look at me!” My roar shook her entire body but her eyes jumped to attention like a well-trained solider.
“
I can’t explain it. I don’t know what happened. It’s not the same way I feel about you.”
“Damn Kari! I feel
so fucking betrayed. You went and fell in love with this dick.”
“I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you. I just love him. I think. I’m not even sure. It’s confusing. I know I’m in love with you.”
“How convenient. You’re in love with me but you love him.”
“
Mason don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m so fucking far beyond mad. I’m livid. I’m mad squared. I’m on one hundred and ten.”
Kari leaned her body into me and wrapped her hands around my waist. “Oh Mason.” She rubbed her lips into my neck.
She leaned into me.
“Don’t rub your tits in me.” This is fucking bullshit. “Listen.” I hunched the few inches I needed to whisper in her ear. I raked my fingers through her thick hair. I grabbed two huge handfuls of her hair. I pushed her face as close to my face as possible. “Listen closely. I’m not going to let you marry him. If by some miracle you talk me into letting you walk down the aisle with that fucker, I’m letting you know right here, right now. I’m not going anywhere. I will continue to fuck you because you are mine and you always will be.”
“Mason.”
“Shhhhh, if you ever get pregnant you will never know who the father is because I will make sure I pump my seed in you more frequently that Jack!” I was serious as fuck. I would not let him win. I would never let her slip away from me.
“So your plan is to make me one of those
extra ghetto chicks that don’t know who her baby daddy is?”
“Yes mam.” I smirked. That sounds like a pretty good plan to me.
“I would love to hear you say, I am one hundred and ten perfect sure this little Italian baby is Jack’s.”
“Both of you guys are pale faces. There would be no way anyone would know who the father is.”
“I could tell.” Who the hell doesn’t know their own kid?
“So you would let Jack raise your kid
as his own?”
I thought about the question. No scratch that. I pretended to think about the question. “After the paternity test proved I was the father he will divorce you.
It would kill Jack if he ever found out I knocked you up.”
“
Let’s stop talking about this nonexistent kid.”
“Why is marriage so important to you?”
She could have all the perks of a wife with me.
“I could ask you why it’s not so important to you.”
“That doesn’t hurt me. My marriage is shit. It’s shit because I made it that way. It didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. As far as I’m concerned it’s bullshit. I don’t have to marry you to be devoted to you. I love you and we’re not married. Why isn’t my love enough? Why do you need that stupid piece of meaningless paper?”
“It’s easy for someone that has that meaningless paper to say that. When I get my meaningless piece of paper I will get back to you.”
“You are crazy if you think I will ever let you get a marriage license, have a wedding. Bull shit. I know you. If you get married you will try to stop seeing me and that will never happen.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I know you’ve heard the saying
if I can’t
have you no one will
.”
“
Is that supposed to scare me?” She frowned.
“That’s not a threat. Sweetheart, that’s a promise.” I smiled widely as she tried to determine if I was really crazy or bluffing.
“I know you would never hurt me.”
I guess she knew I was bluffing. I would never hurt her but I don’t know. I prefer not to think about it.
“Mason, did you ever think we would be here?”
“What do you mean?” I was unsure of what she meant.
My mind had wandered back to the thought of my imaginary Black-Italian son or daughter being raised by Malibu Ken.
“
After all this time, did you still think we would be together, in anyway whatsoever?” That was an odd question.
“I don’t know.
I never thought I would show up at your place that first time.”
“I knew you would show up. I just hoped you wouldn’t.”
She said.
“You hoped I wouldn’t? Why?”
“If you didn’t then I could be mad at you and stay away from you.”
I smiled because I knew that wouldn’t have worked. We both tried on numerous occasions to stay away from each other. It never seemed to work. I decided to throw my words of wisdom on her.
“This entire time I was playing it by ear. That’s why we have been on this constant roller coaster ride. I don’t have a playbook. Did you think we would still be together?” I wanted to hear her answer more than anything. She had such a take it or leave it attitude. I craved the reassurance that she had it bad for me. Did she crave me just I craved her?
“When I first met you my heart started beating so fast.
Remember we were at Annerino Park.”
“I remember.”
I would never forget that rush of instant attraction.
“
We shake hands and I wanted to do was run. There was a huge neon sign flashing in front of me that said run, run, run. I never felt that way before and I was so scared. I mean terrified.”
“Of me?”
“Yeah, I saw the wedding ring and I started to panic.”
I looked down at the wedding ring
on my finger. “I just thought you were too hot to waste your time with me.”
“I
felt totally exposed, totally naked when you looked at me. If I didn’t stay far enough away from you I thought that you would fuck me a few times. I thought you would say or do some stupid shit and I would dump you, or I would say something you didn’t like and you would dump me. I never thought I would fall in love with you.”
“So if you knew that in advance. Would you have done things differently? Would you have taken it all back?”
I was on the edge of my seat waiting for this response.
“No, I never felt this, what we have
, with anyone else.”
“That’s how I feel. The only thing I would have done different is I would have told you the truth about when Tess tried to kill herself. I don’t know how you ended up with Jack but I think maybe if I would have handled things different you would be single.”
“You want me to be alone and single forever?”
“Yes. You don’
t know how hard it is to block thoughts of him and you together from my mind. I don’t care if I’m selfish. I don’t want to see you with any man that isn’t me.”
“You think I like
to share you?”
“See that’s the difference. I’m all yours. My feelings for Tess have died. I buried them when I buried my mother.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t love her anymore. I don’t hate her but it, the love, it’s gone from me. All I feel now is resentment. I have tried to love her because it would make things so much easier but I can’t do it. All I have is resentment, commitment and
time.”
For
some weird reason we made out, fully clothed, like we were in junior high. We packed up our stuff. It was time to head back to the gym.
There was this feeling of calm that cradled me as soon as we left the hotel room. We had stayed longer than I thought. Our long heart to heart talk was to blame.
We walked the hotel hallway in silence. When we entered the elevator I stood on one side and Kari stood on the other. Our eyes locked. I wonder what she’s thinking. She was smiling at me and making me smile back. I will never get enough of her smile. We were like lovesick teens.
Kari was an angel to me. She
saved me from darkness and I know I should let her go on with her life. But I lost her once and a second time around is not an option.
We took the elevator down to the lobby. I dropped off the key at the front desk.
We made it out to the parking lot and Kari rushed to the passenger side. I guess that meant I was going to drive and my Kari was riding shotgun.
I felt a calmness although I wasn’t
one hundred percent pleased with the talk Kari and I had. I didn’t want her to eventually marry Jack. Having his kid was sickening. His seed, no fucking way, a permanent reminder of the fact his sticks his cock in my Kari. Why does Jack get to have the life with the woman that I want? I should be happy for her. Bullshit! Happy for some other man’s future. I’m a man that is jealous as fuck. Pissed as shit and mad as a motherfucker.
I looked over at Kari and she was smiling her sexy closed mouth smile. I turned the ignition and fired the car up
and put it into reverse. I looked in the rearview and noticed a minivan in the mirror. It only took me two seconds to realize it looked very familiar, like the one my wife drives.
I turned around and looked over the seat and out the back window. That’s when it was clear. That’s when I locked eyes with Tess. She had blocked Kari’s Camry in its parking space. I couldn’
t back out. I turned around and put the car in park. I’m not sure what expression I had on my face but the look on Kari’s face was one of worry.
Kari was unaware of what was unfolding
at the rear of her car. I think she was reflecting my face.
“Mason, what’s wrong?
”
I turned my body around to face the back end of the car. Tess had
opened the driver’s door and exited the driver’s seat. She was sprinting alongside the passenger side of Kari’s car.
“Mas--” Kari
voice was interrupted by the banging on the glass of her passenger door window. Kari turned to look at what I had already seen.
Tess was BANG! BANG! BANG! Banging on the glass with both of her fists.
“Open this door! Open this door!” She yelled with her voice but it was her fists of fury that highlighted this horror. “Get out you whore!”
My K
ari was face to face with my wife. There was only a glass barrier dividing them. I am a dead man. Judgment day was here. This is my apocalypse now. Where do I go from here?
Authors Note
Finally, I finished book three in the
Balls To The Walls
Erotica Series. Yippee! I finished early. It was due out in October of 2013 and here it is September. This book is the longest book in the series. I know a lot of people despise serial books but I love them. I love cliffhanger endings. That’s why I watch TV shows. There are a few authors out there that I actually go to the book store and buy their annual hardcover series book the same day it comes out. I am still not sure if I will go to my projected six book total but I have written outlines for a total of six books in the
Balls To The Walls
Erotica Series. I love me some Mason and it would be hard for me to end the tumultuous love affair he and Kari share. As you know some relationships go on for many years. I will definitely write the fourth installment in the series entitled,
Bases Loaded
due out the end of December. Thank you for your purchase. Thanks to those readers who are following my first series in erotica. I look forward to reading your reviews. Please take the time to leave one. All heartfelt reviews are greatly appreciated.