Authors: Lolah Lace
“Yeah I know. That’s what my boyfriend tells me.” I smiled and watched as Lamar became more pissed by my words. He should know better than to battle me.
Since Lamar had some sense in his head he decided to have a civilized normal conversation with me. He talked about work. He was a supervisor over at UPS. He left FedEx’s a few years ago to make more money at UPS. Lamar liked money and since he wasn’t doing anything overtly illegal, he followed the money to UPS. I listened as he talked. As long as he didn’t say anything out the way, we would be cool as central air. All I ever wanted was to be cool with him but he was the type of guy that could never have a woman as a friend. He was shady and he always thought other people were shady.
His lack of loyalty and his distrust irritated me. His cheating never really bothered me because no one ever stepped to me.
I was younger then and I never was the jealous type so I let a lot of stuff slide. I felt like he didn’t have my back. His chronic mood swings were epic. I tried to deal with his bipolar disorder but I was dizzy keeping up with his manic and depressive phases. His selfishness took a toll on me. It bothered me that he didn’t know how to fight fair. I had enough one day and that was the end. I hate low blows and name calling. I have always lived under the credo that if I’m a bitch than yo’ mama is a bitch. So needless to say, he called me a bitch. I couldn’t rock with him.
I’m not a bitch. I’m a princess. At least that’s what Mason calls me.
*****
There must have been something in the air. Lamar was coming around and seeing Trey. He was fronting like
he was a good father. It was odd yes but I went with it. He took Trey for the weekend a couple of times. He brought my son back in one piece. I remember how in the past Trey would come back with bruises. Lamar even had a car accident with my son in the backseat of his car. That was when Trey was three. It took Jesus, Joseph and Mary to stop me from going upside Lamar’s head. I knew the accident was his fault. He drives to fast. He’s manic and is always moving too fast.
I got tired of the bruises. It wasn’t that he was beating my son. He just wasn’
t watching him. His townhouse wasn’t child proof. I had to always go over to his place and make sure it was safe. I recall the block of knives Lamar had out on the counter when Trey was a toddler. My block of knives is on top of the refrigerator.
I had to admit e
verything was going good. Trey had his biological father and he had Jack. Jack tried extra hard when Lamar stumbled his goofy ass back in the picture. Jack didn’t have to try to be a good father. He just is. Caleb and Sienna adore Jack. Jack reminded me of my own father. They had some of the same traits. My father has never met Jack. I can’t wait for that to happen. My father lives on the Westside of Chicago and like a lot of black man he has a regular job and a hustle. He is a sanitation worker and the neighborhood bootleg CD and dvd guy. I’m going to laugh my ass off when my father tries to give Jack a free Kevin Hart bootleg dvd.
The stress of almost getting caught by Mason’s wife wore off. Mason and I had a routine. Two or three times a week we met at the gym in Naperton. We drove to a nearby hotel and we got naked and nasty. Well I got naked and Mason got nasty.
Today I had some time alone because Trey was with Lamar. Jack was spending time with his kids. I had just left the mall when my cell rang. I just knew it was Mason but it was Lamar.
“Hello.”
“Hey, I need a favor.”
“What?”
“My car won’t start. Could you drive out here and pick Trey up?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah my car won’t start.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“I’m, not sure. It’s Sunday. I’m going to get it towed tomorrow.”
“You live so far.”
I don’t want to drive all the way out there.
“I know but Trey has school tomorrow.”
“Do you have to work tomorrow?”
I asked.
“Yeah.”
“How are you getting to work?”
“My motorcycle.”
“You bought another motorcycle?” I couldn’t believe this fool had another motorcycle. He almost died the first time he crashed a bike. You can’t learn your listen six feet under. Damn he gets on my nerves. Now I have to drive all the way to Plainville. It’s an entire hour drive. What ass-wipe buys a townhouse an hour away from their kid? It’s an hour and a half away from his other kid.
“Yeah,
I had to. That Caddy has been giving me problems for a while now.”
“Whatever, get Trey
’s stuff together. I’m leaving right now.” I wonder what happened to the BMW?
“Okay.”
I drove the long dreaded hour to Lamar’s townhouse. I drove through so many suburbs and rural farm areas. Some ass-of-a hole had a horse pulling a carriage down the road in a no passing zone. It was a one lane each way road. Wonder if you will get charged with vehicular horse slaughter if you run over a horse. I hate coming out this way. I love the peace and quiet of the suburbs but there was no way in hell I could live in Plainville. They don’t have a Starbucks in Plainville. They just got a Target in the last three years. I like diversity and Lamar moved to Hicktown USA. I made it to Plainville in record time. No, not really. It took me an hour and ten F-ing minutes.
I texted Lamar a few lights away. I didn’t text and drive. I texted him at one of those ridiculously long lights. I checked his response when I pulled into his driveway. He said the door was open.
He never locks his doors. I got out my car and entered his place.
“Hello.” I yelled when I walked in. I heard no response.
I told him to have my son ready. “Trey!” Nothing.
I walked up the stairs and looked into the kid’s bedroom, the one with the bunkbeds. No one was in there. I went to Lamar’s bedroom and he was sitting on the bed
in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. He was playing some stupid video game on the Xbox. I think it was Call of Duty Black Ops. He is addicted to that game. I don’t know why. He never saw any action when he was in the Marines.
“Didn’t you
hear me?”
“Yeah but I knew you was going to come up here.”
“Where’s my son?”
“Your son.”
He raised his freaky eyebrow at me.
“He’s at my brother’s house.”
“Are you serious? Why did you tell me to come here then? I could have just went to Calvin’s house and picked him up.”
“I wanted to see you. I missed Trey but I missed you too.” He put the Xbox controller down. I was still standing in the doorway. I didn’t want to come in his bedroom. I wanted to get my son and go.
“That’s nice. Call your brother and tell him I’m coming to get Trey.”
“Damn what’s the rush? Can’t you hang for a minute?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, not really.”
“Damn girl, why you got to be so mean?”
“Why you got to be on bullshit?”
“You told me you loved me. You stopped loving me just like that?”
Here we go. Negro it’s been a minute. “Listen, I told I loved you and if I recall correctly you never ever said that shit back. Unrequited love is a motherfucker. It makes you see people for who they really are.”
“I need you to stop being mad and give me another chance.
People change, I’ve changed.”
“Ha! You couldn’t be serious?”
“No I’m serious.” Lamar adjusted his penis in his boxers. I knew that move. He was always touching himself when I was around. That was my cue to drop down and get my eagle on. No way Jose. That is the past.
“I was faithful to you when we were together so cheating on my guy is out.” That was a lie
but he didn’t have to know I was stepping out on Jack.“You snooze you lose.”
“I’m not trying to hear that.
”
“You don’t have to hear it for it to be true.”
“That’s cold.”
“Call your brother and tell him I’m coming to get my son.”
“I can’t get none?” Lamar got off the bed and started walking toward me.
“I gave you all I had and you didn’t want it.” He was looking down on me. I neve
r feared Lamar. He was Bitchmade. I could just look at him and he would back down.
“I want it now.”
“Call your brother.”
Lamar grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss. He came at me so quick I didn’t have time to back up, protest
or duck. He pried my mouth open and stuck his tongue down my throat. I was pushing him off me when he copped a feel off my breasts. WTF? He has never come at me like this before.
When I could think straight, I punched him in the stomach. He removed his hands and his lips.
“I’m leaving.” I turned and headed to the stairs. As soon as I got to the stairs he bear hugged me, locking my hands down at my sides. “Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!”
Lamar picked me up brought me back into his bedroom. He flung me on his bed. I was laying there wondering what the hell he was doing. He glared down at me and adjusted his dick through the fabric of his boxer shorts.
“Kari we used to wrestle on this bed all the time. I know you remember.” He smirked.
“I’m trying to forget.” I got off the bed and stood by the window. We were in a staredown. He was going to lose. I had no fear so it was hard for a man to punk me.
I remember sex with Lamar but I’m not trying to revisit that waste of time. Sex with Lamar was different. We were both dominants back then. We wrestled around the whole time we had sex. I was always trying to be on top and he was always trying to be on top. It was like naked wrestling not real sex. Sure it was good but it always seemed like a competition. He was never nasty enough for me. I’m not a dominant anymore. I’m a submissive. I let Mason do whatever he wants to me. He controls the sex. I let Jack dominate me. I’m not the aggressive woman I once was. Lamar doesn’t know the new me. He’s looking for old me. Old me was bossy and I wore the pants, new me is compliant. I don’t like to be in charge. I want to follow a man’s lead. I got tired of leading and making every single decision. I’ve always been in charge. I’m the oldest sibling. I like the new me. The new me doesn’t have to wash my own car, talk to repair men, go get emissions tests, shovel snow, mow lawns or build anything. I love the new me.
“Lamar I’m tired. I don’t want to have sex with you. I have a boyfriend.”
“Do you love him?”
Why did he ask me that? I know he could care less. “Yes I do. Once a wise person told me something that pertains to you and me.”
“What they say?”
“She said, we are never ever ever getting back together.” Wise words from Taylor Swift. Knowledge comes from people of all ages.
“I am going to call my brother.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I smiled. I wonder if his car is really down. He is such a liar.
It didn’t matter. Lamar made the call and his brother showed up fifteen minutes later with Trey.
I swear I couldn’t find anyone to give it to and now there’s three guys pushing up on me. Ah-huh, okay, what’s up, shut up.
CHAPTER 8
Lamar was being on his best behavior. I think he was trying to prove something. What it was I don’t know. He’s too damn moody to figure out. He was still seeing Trey and sure he asked me for sex
every time he saw me but I ignored him. Trey was happy having his father in his life and I wanted Trey to be happy.
I had my secrets but I was doing a good job of managing two men and keeping everybody happy.
Earlier today I had a secret rendezvous with Mason. We met at the gym and he slipped out and got into my car. I drove to the Hampton Inn in Naperton. Mason had booked the room online. We checked in and stayed for two hours. Mason put me in an upside down handstand against the couch in the hotel room. He held my legs and fucked me relentlessly while the blood rushed to my head. The sex was hot and intense. I didn’t know if I was going to faint or cum. He had me hollering. Well damn! I can’t wait to see what Mason does next time we see each other.
I had to rush home because Jack wanted to go out for drinks. Sienna was going to watch Trey and Caleb so we could have a date night. I didn’t have any energy after my little tryst with Mason so I stopped off at Starbucks and got some coffee.
Jack took me to Bar Louie. He knows how I love their Buffalo wings. I had three Peach Bellini’s and Jack drunk some imported beer. We were having a relaxing good time. I was going to sleep good tonight. Earlier I had an extreme workout and now I had some alcohol in me. I was half listening to Jack. I was a little tipsy. Jack was saying something. I leaned in to hear him over the loud music.
“Look at this asshole. He’s such a
jerk. I would love to beat his fucking face in.”
“Who?”
I had obviously missed a part of the conversation.
“Your ex-boyfriend. He’s sitting over there.”
“My ex-boyfriend?”
“You know who.” Jack sneered. I was
n’t playing dumb. I didn’t know who he was talking about. “Mason.”