Authors: Lolah Lace
Since I was home alone I t
hought I would blast my music; the music that Jack hates, rap music. I was dancing my ass off. I had a playlist of all the songs Jack would frown upon. He will never understand why I listened to them. I was old but not too old to twerk in the privacy of my own home. I was in the middle of shaking my ass to Juicy J.’s
Bandz A Make Her Dance
when I heard something. I turned the iPod docking station down.
There it was
, the F-ing doorbell. I hate my doorbell. I ran down the stairs and stumbled on the last three steps. I tripped but caught myself before I fell on my face. When did I get clumsy? I slowed it down and walked across the living room. I peeped out the peephole and the first thing that came to mind was Bitchmade mutherfucka. Stop cussin’ Kari, the profanity is getting out of control. I blew rage in the form of air from my mouth.
I opened the door to
see Lamar, my baby’s daddy. Calling him Trey’s father was too good for him. He had been regulated to baby’s daddy. He was wearing a suit and he looked good as usually. He always dressed to impress. He was a medium brown skinned brother that was really nice to look at on the outside but his insides were selfish and corrupt.
He had the nerve to be smiling at me
with those perfect porcelain crowns. A replacement set from when he knocked the originals out during a motorcycle accident ten years ago. “Kari.”
“Whatdoyouwant?” I said it so fast it sounded like I was speaking Spanish.
“What happened to hello?”
“Hello.”
“Hey, mama.”
“What. Do. You. Want?”
“I want to see my son.”
After an entire year of not seeing him
, calling him or sending any Christmas gifts. “He’s not here.”
“Can I come in?”
“What for?”
“Just a minute. I wanted to talk about Trey.”
One minute. I let the door go to let him in. He walked in and took a quick look around. Nosey bastard.
“Like I said. Trey is not here.”
“Where is he?”
None of your beeswax.
Like you care anyway. “He’s at basketball camp.”
“That’s good
he’s playing sports.”
“Yeah, he was on little league and he played flag football but you missed it.”
I was two seconds off extra black.
“Yeah but I know you have pictures.” He smirked. “Did y
ou drop him off at basketball camp?”
“No my boyfriend took him
to basketball camp. He’s the coach.” Boop! Take that Negro.
“Your boyfriend?” He released an uneasy chuckle. “You
let Trey go with some stranger?”
“No, my boyfriend. He is no stranger but you on the other hand are a stranger.
M.I.A. for a year. My guy lives here with us.” Boop! Take that punk.
“You got some nigga living here with my son?”
“No niggas live here. A nice fine light skinned person lives here with me and Trey.” I smirked. Lamar knew exactly what I meant by light skinned person. Code word for white peoples. Triple, Boop!
“Whatever.
” He pretended not to care. “I’m not tripping on that. I miss my son.”
“I can’t tell.”
Negro please. I almost rolled my neck off my shoulders.
“No really Kari I do.”
I smacked my lips. “Whatever.”
“Listen I know I’ve been a fucked up father. But I’m here because I want to do
better. I want to be a better father to my son. I’m sorry for so many things.” I agree, you are sorry. “I want to know when I can see him.”
“
Why do you want to see him?”
“Because he’s my son.”
“
You been gone so long. Why don’t you just gone about your business. I don’t bother you so why upset Trey by coming into his life for a minute only to disappear again.”
“I’m his father. I’m never going to disappear.
I need him to know I care about him. I need him to know I haven’t forgotten about him.”
“Seriously, I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to believe me.” He arched one eyebrow. I hated when he did that. It was freakish and weird how he could raise his eyebrow almost to his headline.
“Good. I don’t
believe you.”
“I’m sure you don’t but I’m here.”
“For how long? You live an entire forty-five minutes away and you’ve seen him zero times in the last year.” He really lived an hour away. I had the right to exaggerate. I placed my hands on my hips.
“No matter what has happened between us, y
ou have never kept Trey away from me.”
“I know.
If it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t know you even exist. I was the one bringing him to you. I was driving all the way to butt fuck Egypt. I got tired of you and your nonsense. Whenever you had financial trouble you would just not give me any child support. You act likeTrey didn’t have to eat. Kids eat every day just like you. Lamar I didn’t take you to court even though I would have gotten much more than what you give me.”
“I know and I’m grateful. I swear I appreciate that you didn’t put me in the system like Monica. I try to give you yo
ur money. I’ve only missed four payments in the last year. The IRS was on my ass. I knew I could skip those payments because you are a good mother. You can hold it down. I never had to worry about Trey’s health, safety or anything.”
“So because I’m a good mother tha
t means shit on me and my son.”
“No, my other son needs
me more because his mother is not like you and you know it.”
“Excuses.”
How many times is he going to run that Monica is a bad mother B.S. on me?
“No, it’s the truth. Trey is your number one priority. I never have to worry about him.
But Monica is always somewhere tricking off, leaving Ellis with anybody.”
“You are not and nev
er have been a good father to my son. The only time you were halfway decent was when I was dealing with you. I shouldn’t have to fuck you for you to see your son.”
“I know
you feel that way but that’s not it. I have changed. I love Trey. I want to have a relationship with him. Please Kari, I just want to see him. I can pick him up or we can meet somewhere and you can come along and supervise my visit if you like.”
“When do you want to see him?”
I’m tired of looking at him.
I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out my face. Lamar was not interested in my son. He would visit and disappear again but Trey was strong and resilient. He could handle it.
“Is tomorrow good for you?”
“Fine tomorrow meet us at the McDonald’s up on Briarcliff Road at six.”
“Okay thanks Kari.”
Whatever, fuck you, you deadbeat bastard. “Okay.” Now get your ass out my house. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
He had the nerve to smile back at me as he left my house. Get your big four corner head ass out my house.
I held the door open and watched him drive off in his ivory Cadillac Seville. I hate him.
My luck sucks ass. Sienna was walking up the path to the front door as Lamar was leaving.
“Who was that?” She asked as she stepped into the house. I closed the door.
“That was Trey’s father.”
“Is my dad here?”
“No.”
“Why was he here? Were you cheating on my dad? Did you sleep with that guy?”
“No, I wasn’t cheating on your dad.
Does it look like I had sex with anybody?”
Sienna had the nerve to scruti
nize me with her eyes. “Well no it doesn’t.”
“Try not to say ever stupid thing that comes to mind.”
“I’m an AP student.”
“Book smarts, common sense and street smarts are different things.”
“
Well my dad has a black girlfriend so you should be able to teach me something when you’re not sleeping with my dad.”
“I’ll think about it.” I ignored her comment.
After the STD incident our relationship turned into harmless witty and sometimes unwitty banter. “Trey’s father came by to see him and Trey is not here so I sent him on his merry way.”
“I’m going to tell my dad.”
“That’s great. I’m going to tell him too so now he gets to hear it from the both of us.”
“Are you really going to tell him?”
This girl was clueless. “Yes Sienna why would I not tell him? I have to take Trey to see his father tomorrow. I need to tell Jack that also.”
“I never heard Trey mention his dad.”
“There’s nothing to mention. Trey’s father is a loser. Lesson one, he is the reason that you should be careful who you sleep with. Lesson two, some guys seem like nice guys at first but then people change.”
“Don’t I know
it? People are changing all around me. My mother used to be so different. She was like the head of the PTO. She even used to bake cookies. She was a really good mother to me but Caleb didn’t get all those good years that I got.”
“
People change and sometimes they change into people you don’t understand.” I was talking about myself. Who the hell am I? I don’t even recognize myself.
*****
Jack took the return of
The Mack
pretty well. I guess he didn’t feel Lamar was much of a viable threat. He was right. I thought I had loved Lamar at one time but he was so much less than what I thought a man should be. He always had an excuse for everything. He was a flawed guy for sure but I loved him the way he was but he really didn’t love himself. The worse thing about him was his selfishness. There are different kinds of men in this world. There’s the guy that has ten dollars and he gives you half. There’s the guy that has ten dollars and he gives you seven dollars and keeps three for himself. Then there’s Lamar. He’s the guy that gives you two dollars and keeps eight for himself.
I dreaded seeing Lamar. He had did me so wrong for so
long I was just so over him. He always said he was going to do things and would renege. I wasn’t like him. I said I was going to meet him. I didn’t want to show up but I wasn’t that type of person.
I promptly
arrived at McDonald’s on time. Lamar was overdressed for McDonald’s. He was wearing a tan Argyle sweater vest over a long sleeve button up and dress Khaki pants. He even was wearing tan loafers. He was a tall, good looking, thin darker version of Carlton from the
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
. He could fool people with his attire. I knew better. He used to sell drugs, steal cars, boast credits cards, rob drug dealers and snuggle cocaine across the Canadian border. Then Trey was born and all of a sudden he grew up and stopped his illegal exploits. As far as I knew he was a law abiding citizen. But that didn’t stop the feds from coming around a few years back.
Lamar showed up to McDonald’s
with his nephew Kevan. Kevan was the same age as Trey. There was a time I tried to forge a relationship with my son and his cousin but I got tired of doing all the work. If Trey’s paternal side of the family didn’t care to make an effort to see him then I just gave up. My son was a good kid. I felt like I shouldn’t have to force him on anybody. If his paternal grandmother and uncle knew he existed for the last seven years and still didn’t make an effort to be in his life well then fuck them.
After the kids ate
, they played in the little indoor play area. I pulled out my Kindle. I had no desire to talk to Lamar.
“Kari.” Really Negro. Don’t you see I’m reading?
“What?” I clipped.
“Thanks for bringing Trey.”
“You’re welcomed.” I went back to reading.
“So you’re not going to talk to me?”
“Uhhhhhhhh, no.”
“It’s like that?”
“And that’s the way it is.”
“So you got a man?”
“Yes sir.” I smirked with malice.
“He lives with you?”
“Yes sir.”
“
You happy?”
“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my lif
e.” I was pouring it on thick. “Are you seeing any new cluckers or are you seeing the same old chickens.”
“I’m single.”
“That’s great. I know that’s how you always felt so now you should feel just as happy as me.”
“Naw, I’m tired of being alone.”
“Okay Al Green.”
“For real, I know your Anglo-Saxon boyfriend’s dick isn’t as big as mine.”
Which boyfriend? Mason’s is big. He got you beat Boo-Boo. “My boyfriend is rich.” Bitch! “He doesn’t have to have a big dick.”
“You ignorant.”
“Whatever. I will take Trey and leave if you kept talking to me about bullshit.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I just miss some things.” He licked his lips. “You know you got the best head game ever.
”