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“You have?” His tone lightened. “Thanks.” He leaned in and placed the lightest kiss on her forehead. There was no seduction intended, but they were walking a tightrope, dangling together over a canyon that-if they fell-would mean no turning back for either of them. He touched her cheek. “There’s no one else in my life who prays for me.”
This was it. Katy needed to make herself clear or she would lose the opportunity God was laying out before her. Make me strong, Lord. I need Your strength. The fact that there no longer was a baby didn’t change the things that had led up to there being one in the first place. And the loss Dayne was facing didn’t give her license to pretend those things had never happened.
She found her next breath. “I prayed for you and Kelly to be the right parents for your baby, and I prayed that-” she ached inside, but a strength bigger than her own pushed her to continue-“I prayed that God would help the two of us move on, to forget-” she ran her thumb along the base of his neck-“this. How it feels to be with you. Because the baby wasn’t the thing that made me know I had to let you go, Dayne. The baby was what made me finally see it could never work.”
The sadness returned to his face, but still he held her. “Because of my lifestyle?”
“No.” She spread her fingers on the place over his heart. “Because in here you need to find what matters most.”
“I feel that way.” His hand came up alongside her cheek, and he worked his fingers partway into her hair. His breathing was slightly faster than before, his hand trembling. “I feel it whenever I’m with you.”
Katy covered his hand with hers, and then—against every screaming bit of her flesh-she took a step backward. “Because I have what you’re looking for.” There were tears in her eyes, but she blinked them away. She motioned to herself. “Not what you see on the outside but my faith, Dayne. My relationship with Christ.
That’s what matters most.”
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Dayne exhaled, straightened, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Sorry.” He didn’t have to specify his reasons. Clearly they could both feel how close they’d come to giving in to their feelings. He leaned his shoulder into the window. “I didn’t come here for this, really.”
“I know.” She reached out and took his hand. “You need to go to Mexico. Let’s talk after that.”
Before he could say anything else, they heard voices near the front door.
Dayne looked toward the sound. “The Flanigans?”
“Yes.” Relief came over her. The minutes of whispering with Dayne Matthews while a thunderstorm raged outside were over. She had known that God wanted her to avoid kissing him, and she’d succeeded. She tried not to feel disappointed.
“Stay here.”
He turned toward the window as she walked past the fireplace and into the foyer.
Jim Flanigan was just coming through the door, Jenny and the kids behind him.
Bailey grinned and made wide eyes at Katy. “Did you hear?”
“Hear what?”
“A tornado.” Jim gave her a wry smile. “Small one touched down near Clear Creek.
No one got hurt, from what the news said.”
Katy shivered. She had told Dayne they had nothing to worry about. What had she been thinking? This was Indiana in March. Whenever a thunderstorm like that one rolled through, tornadoes could come with it.
Shawn darted to her and tugged on her shirtsleeve. “We saw three kittens running across the road on the way home from Wal-Mart and Dad stopped.” He had braces on his teeth now, and his words weren’t as clear as before.
She struggled to understand. “Kittens?”
“Right.” He jumped up a few times. “The storm musta’ scared ‘em out of their hole or wherever they live, because cats can live in fields and have babies in holes, Katy. Did you know that?” He
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didn’t wait for her to answer. “They hunt mice and rats, and sometimes they get mean because they’re living in the wild, but not these kittens because they’re just babies.” He grabbed a quick breath. “They’re in the van in a box. Wanna see?”
Justin took her other arm. “Come see, Katy. Daddy says we can keep one.”
“Maybe. If no one reports them missing.” Jenny gave Jim a doubtful look and mouthed the word thanks.
He winked at her. “Never enough pets, right, boys?”
They hooted, and the four younger boys headed back outside with Jim. “We better find them a place on the porch for tonight. That way they’ll be safe until . .
.” Jim closed the door behind them, and immediately the commotion level dropped by half.
Bailey and Connor were taking off their rain jackets, and Jenny was checking the bottoms of her shoes for mud.
Katy pulled Jenny aside. She gestured to the next room. “Dayne’s here. We’ve been talking.”
Jenny knew everything about the situation with Dayne. All the details of what had happened from the beginning and right up until her meeting with him in Los Angeles, their talk at his house on the beach, and the baby he and Kelly Parker were expecting. But she showed no disdain at the news that he was in their house. “Bailey told me she saw him at practice.” Jenny dropped her voice to the slightest whisper. “He’s in the living room? Now?”
Katy nodded. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. I just wanted you to know he was here.”
Because the electricity was still off, Bailey and Connor hung up their jackets and walked right past the passageway to the living room without seeing Dayne.
Bailey called over her shoulder, “Shawn’s right. You’ve gotta see these kitties.
They’re so cute.”
“In a minute, okay?” Just as Katy was going to explain to the older kids that she had a visitor, there was a clicking sound followed by a hum, and an instant later the lights were back on.
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Before she could leave the entryway and return to the living room, Dayne walked through the arch that separated the two areas and waved to Jenny and the kids.
“You survived the storm.”
Bailey had seen him earlier that day, so she was able to hide her surprise and delight.
Connor, though, came a few steps closer. “Are you … are you filming here again?”
“No.” He chuckled and looked at Katy. “Just needed an afternoon with your theater director.”
“Oh.” Connor’s mouth hung open for a few seconds.
Bailey grabbed his arm, her eyes dancing. “Come on, Connor. We’re supposed to go look at the kittens, remember?”
The kids left, but Connor looked back a few times. Katy felt herself smile. Of course he looked back. No matter what had happened before, regardless of the connection between her and Dayne the last time he was in town, it wasn’t every day that the kids came home to find a movie star in their living room.
Her smile faded. In some strange way, Connor’s reaction made her sad. This was the same reaction Dayne faced everywhere he went, in almost any setting. People staring at him, wondering if they might sneak an extra-long look or a photograph, people lined up next to him for an autograph at Starbucks or the grocery store or anywhere he went. Not just in Hollywood but here too.
It was the reason he wore hooded sweatshirts and baseball caps. And it was just one more reason why he could never share her lifestyle, not the way it was today.
“So, Dayne, how’s life?” Jenny smiled at him. She had a natural way of inviting people into her home, making them feel welcome. Dayne couldn’t have known by her reaction that she was privy to the details about him and Kelly.
The three of them talked for a few minutes; then Dayne checked his watch. “I have to go.” When he looked at Katy, the regret in his eyes was glaring. “I wish I had longer.”
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Dayne said goodbye to Jenny, and they walked in a group out to the porch, where Jim and the boys had moved the box of kittens.
Katy peered inside and put her hand to her mouth. “They’re adorable.” They were gray with varying amounts of white, no more than five or six weeks old.
Jim looked up from the box and rose when he saw Dayne. His surprise lasted only an instant. “Dayne …” He reached out and shook his hand. “I hear I missed your visit last time.”
“Yes. My schedule’s a little strange sometimes.”
Jim chuckled. “I’ll bet.” Around him, the boys were on their knees, reaching into the box and petting the mewing kittens. “Boys, this is Mr. Matthews.”
Katy studied the way Dayne held his hand out to the younger boys. Each of them in turn said their name and told Dayne it was nice to meet him. She could see by Dayne’s face that he was impressed. A few feet away, Bailey and Connor leaned against the house and tried not to laugh-probably because their silly brothers didn’t have the common sense to know exactly who Mr. Matthews was.
A few minutes later when they were in Katy’s car, Dayne gazed out his window at the scene on the front porch. “I love that family.” He looked at Katy. “That’s what I want.” He hesitated, turning his attention once more toward the Flanigans. “The family, the laughter, the love. Even the kittens on the front porch.”
Katy smiled, her eyes straight ahead. She didn’t state the obvious. Not then and not ten minutes later when she dropped him off at his car. She was tempted to turn off the engine and linger in the dark of the parking lot, but there was no point. Not if she seriously wanted to end the visit without crossing lines. His flight was in two hours, so he couldn’t wait either, which was good. It made the decision for a quick goodbye even easier.
“Thanks.” Dayne leaned across the console of her car and gave her a hug that lasted a few seconds. “You were the only one 187
I wanted to talk to.” He drew back, but his eyes stayed locked on hers. “Keep praying for me, Katy. I’m not sure I understand it, but I like it.”
“Of course.” She had one more question. “So you’re going?”
“I have to.” He checked his watch. “I have two hours, so that’s an hour to Indianapolis and-“
“Dayne.” She put her hand on his. “I’m talking about Mexico.”
He grinned, and for the first time that afternoon, his eyes lit up. “Yes. I’m going.”
“Okay, then.” Her voice was low, and the electricity between them bordered on dangerous. “That’s it.”
“What?” He narrowed his eyes.
This time she could feel her own smile fade. “That’s what I’ll pray for.”
“Okay.” He hesitated. “Can I say how much I’ll miss you?” He worked his fingers between hers.
Katy felt her breath catch in her throat. “Dayne …”
“I know. I have other things to take care of. But still…” He looked very serious. “I’ll miss you like I have since the last time I saw you. More with every passing hour.”
They said another minute of goodbyes, and then she watched him leave, watched him walk to his car and turn around to look at her one last time. It was still strange, knowing that this guy-the one she fell a little harder for every time they were together-was America’s Dayne Matthews. The Hollywood heartthrob and this man walking away from her now seemed like two different people.
He waved and held his hand in the air longer than usual. Even through the dim glow of the parking-lot lights, Katy could see his eyes glistening. She watched him climb into his car and pull away. Before his red taillights disappeared down Main Street, she set to work making good on her promise.
Then and all the way home, she prayed for Dayne as she’d 188
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never prayed for him before. That he’d go to Mexico and spend time with his missionary friend and come away with a better understanding of mission work, that he’d find peace with the issue of his adoptive parents and their decision-the way Dayne saw it-to choose God over him. She prayed that Dayne would find out who he was, who he really wanted to be. But most of all she prayed something deeper.
That maybe-just maybe-he would allow God to find him.
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Dayne changed his mind five times in the next week.
He reserved a flight from Los Angeles International Airport to Mexico City twice and twice canceled the reservation. The principle filming for his current project was finished, but they had only four days and then the director had asked the cast to be available for reshoots. Angie Carr had invited him to spend the time at her place in the Bahamas. When he turned her down, she asked one of the other leading men-an actor living with his current girlfriend.
“Tom’s going with me.” She told him the last day of shooting. “Your loss, Dayne.”
He winked at her. “As always, Angie.” They’d survived the shoot with humor. He intrigued her, for sure. Mostly because he’d held off her advances-something very few men in Hollywood had ever done.
Even with his costars leaving town, he still figured he wouldn’t go to Mexico.
But every time he reached that decision, he heard Katy’s voice asking him when he was going to Mexico. “That’s what I’ll be pray ing for… praying for…
praying for.”
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In the end, there was no way he could let her down. He’d already done that once when he’d asked Kelly to move in with him.
When he made the airline reservation the third time, he didn’t cancel. Now he was on an Airbus minutes from landing at the Mexico City Airport, wondering what he was doing.
Once he’d made up his mind, he’d called Bob again just two days ago. Like before, Bob answered the phone with the same tone Dayne remembered from their years in school together. Upbeat and eternally optimistic. “This is Bob …”
“Bob Asher.” Dayne had felt the years begin to drift away. He’d been sitting at his kitchen table, looking out at the ocean and one of the bluest days of spring. “It’s Dayne. I made up my mind.”
“I knew you would.” There was a youthfulness in Bob’s voice, as if life continued to be one long adventure and Bob was sitting at the helm enjoying the ride. “When does your plane come in?”
Dayne had given him the details. “I wonder what old Eunice would think, the two of us together again.” He chuckled. “Eunice, remember her? Bouffant hair?”
“That’s right.” Bob’s laugh was easy and contagious. “We spent our share of afternoons with dear old Eunice.”
They had talked for ten minutes before Dayne felt as though the two of them had never lost touch. Dayne could feel himself relaxing, falling into a simpler way of life, a simpler understanding of how everything worked.