Forgiving Patience (31 page)

“It’s all right. I knew you were
going through a lot.” She draped her arms over-top the fence along beside him.

“No, it’s not. I had just gotten
injured, and I was a selfish bastard. When Tommy told me, I knew I should’ve
gotten over my stubborn pride and called you, but I didn’t. And then my mom
died…and well, I wasn’t any help to anyone after that. I will always be sorry
for that.”

They fell silent for a while, and
that was comforting in a way. The only sounds were the cheers from the field
above them. Words didn’t have to be said. It was like they understood each
other and the pain they both had gone through. While emotionally they knew how
life-changing it was to lose someone, in other parts of their lives, leagues
laid between them.

“I miss her a lot, and I think about
her every day. I’m glad we were together when she died.”

“That’s right. She’d moved from here
to Linden to be with you.”

“She wanted to be near what family
she had, so she decided to stay with me and my Aunt Lidia. I will always be
thankful for the time we otherwise wouldn’t have had if she hadn’t made the
move.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why
didn’t you move back here?”

Anna wrapped her hands around the top
of the fence and leaned back, staring up at the sky. “I don’t know. I guess it
was because I was already settled with a job, and my aunt was there. So my mom
decided she could use the change. Between the three of us, it was like having a
slumber party every night. We watched reality television while eating bowls of
Oreo ice cream. As you can tell, that last part wasn’t the smartest idea.” She
waved a hand across her body, as if she were showing him her flaws. He, of
course, wasn’t seeing them. “I mean, I should’ve known that eating Oreo ice
cream wasn’t the smartest slumber party activity,” she added.

He let his gaze fall to her body.
“Sweetness, I don’t know what you see, but what I see is a smoking-hot body
with some sexy-ass curves.”

“Oh God…I wasn’t fishing for a
compliment or anything.”

“I’m just stating the obvious. You
have an hourglass figure that drives me absolutely crazy. You want to know what
I’m thinking right now?” He gave her barely a second to process that before he
went on to say, “I want to take you back to your place, strip you naked, lay
your sexy body out on the bed, and pleasure you until the sun comes up
tomorrow.”

He wished she didn’t have to mull
over the prospect of them being together again. For him it was an easy yes. It
would always be yes when she was involved. But Anna never did anything without
putting a little thought into it. But then again, maybe she was still a little
pissed at him for moving into her house without her knowing about it.

“Do you really always just say what
comes to mind?”

That made him smile. “No. If that was
the case, I would’ve told you I wanted you the first day I saw you again.”

“You pretty much did.”

“Oh, right. Well then, yes, I do say,
or act on anything that comes to mind. Now what about showing me just how sorry
you are about making that ridiculous Yankee comment?” Pushing himself off the
fence, he placed both his hands on either side of her hips. “I hope you don’t
think that measly little kiss on the cheek is going to be enough to satisfy a
man like me.”

Chapter Fifteen

Jake walked into his dark house,
flipped on a light, and threw his keys down on the side table. Walking into the
bathroom, he turned on the water and stripped out of his clothes. After washing
up, he dressed again.

He thought about going out, but where
was there to go? Ollie’s would be slow since it was a work night, but did he really
want to go there? A cold beer along with some fried cheese sticks sounded good.
Minny would be good company…maybe an Atlanta game would be on. Any other time
that would be where he would end up. Eating peanuts, drinking a couple of
beers, and hollering at the umps over a bad call. Now, thinking about it, it
kind of made him seem like a loser. What twenty-nine-year-old sat at a bar on a
Thursday night? Maybe the Jake the drunk, but he was no longer that guy. He
liked to think he’d grown up and was dealing with his life a lot better.

Usually, Thursday nights were for
playing softball, but there wasn’t a game this week.

Jake knew where he wanted to be, but
didn’t want to pressure her. Anna wasn’t ready for him and what he had in mind,
but the question was what to do about it? He had so many plans for them, but he
would scare her if she knew just what he wanted to do to her body.

And no matter what reason she gave
herself, she’d enjoyed the past two days on a deeper level than just two
ordinary dates. Her face had lit up when they watched the game. He saw the pain
in her eyes when they talked about her mother and when he mentioned his
self-destructive ways. She was a mixture of emotions, and he loved every one of
them. He couldn’t even hide his love for the ass-kicking side. That was his
personal favorite.

After snatching up his keys, he
headed to the only place he wanted to be. A place where he was starting to feel
at home. It was a place he didn’t want to leave.

* * * *

Sure, Anna would have rather been with
Jake, but she needed time to think. Tonight had been nice. Watching the small
kids play a game she’d come to love brought her joy. In a way she was a little
jealous of them because she wished she could have gotten to play like that when
she was a kid. Maybe she wouldn’t just love to watch baseball, but also to play
it. No sense living in the past. Her mother had done the best she could, and
Anna was thankful for that. No matter whether she played the game or not, she
loved everything there was about it.

Freshly cut grass would always be one
of her favorite smells. She loved the sound when the ball met the bat and
skyrocketed across the field. And looking at tanned men displaying athletic
grace while wearing tight uniform pants wasn’t bad either.

When Jake insisted that they go get
dinner at the diner, Anna declined and came back to the apartment.

Her mind was on overdrive, and she
needed a minute to process everything that was happening. Her feelings for Jake
were moving too fast. Was she even mad at him anymore? What about the whole
Cara thing? Was she over that? He’d broken her heart. No matter how bad it
would hurt to open that wound, they needed to clear the air. If she had learned
anything about her life, it was that it wasn’t good to close off her emotions.

Jake needed to hear all the things
she’d wanted to say to him for the past decade. He needed to hear about her
heartbreak. He needed to apologize and give her an explanation for why he’d
slept with Cara so soon after they broke up. She came to Patience to find
peace, and now she knew she needed peace with Jake too. They had come a long
way since that first day she pulled up on Fenway, parked in her driveway, and
had seen him standing on her porch. That day she could’ve happily smothered him
in his sleep—now she just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.

Last night left her speechless. She
was by no means the type of woman who went around having sex with hot men.
Hell, she’d only had sex with one other man. But when Jake had walked up to her
table at the bar, she knew she was in for a night she would always remember.
Her Yankees had won and therefore would stay in first place for the American
League East, and Jake had walked up to her table looking jealous and sexy. She
guessed she could thank Tex for the jealous part, but the sexy part was all
thanks to the Lawrence brothers’ good genes.

When he’d pushed her up on the bed
and unbuttoned her jeans, she could feel her heart start to race. Her breath
caught in her chest when he laid eyes on her sexiest pair of panties. God—she
was glad she had opted for them instead of her usual plain, back-of-the-drawer
cotton ones.

She’d never before felt so desirable
and sexy. He made her feel sensual and like the woman she had always wanted to
be—a woman who could have wild, passionate sex. The need to feel free from all
her baggage, even if it was just for one night, was important.

She wasn’t even embarrassed by her
moaning and calling out his name. For once, she didn’t stop to think. She just
acted, and at that moment she’d felt wild. She wanted to yell, so she yelled.
She wanted to moan out his name, so she did. It was empowering to be the type
of woman she had always desired to be. Strong. Sexy. Desirable.

Liza had tried calling her a couple
times over the past two days, and since it was so late at night, Anna decided
it might be best if she emailed. Plus, Anna really didn’t want to hear Liza’s
reaction to her sleeping with Jake. She fired up her computer.

Liza

I feel like I’m saying I’m sorry a lot lately. But I’m sorry for missing
your calls. Patience has actually been good. I’m still not staying at my house,
but I’m not that upset by it anymore. I heard you gave Jake an earful the other
morning. To tell you the truth, I think you scared him a little. I know you’re looking
out for me, but I’m okay…really. Don’t worry!

I’ve actually agreed to go on a couple dates with Jake. It’s been
surprisingly fun. I’ve been enjoying myself—a little confused, but that’s only
because I slept with him. You like how I slipped that in? Don’t freak out—Jake
and I had sex and it was A-MAZING. I kind of want do it again. Is that wrong?
Of course it’s wrong. I’m angry at him, right? Hell, I don’t know what I feel
anymore.

You’re my friend, and I need you to tell me what to do…even though I have
a pretty good idea of what you will say. I know you’re not a big fan of Jake,
but he’s been kind of great lately, if you take away the part where he’s
holding my house hostage.

The wedding is in a couple days, and I will be home not too long after
that. I hope to be in my house by the end of this weekend. After I do some
little repairs, I should be back in Linden. Thanks for looking after my aunt. I
know she can be a handful, so thank you, thank you. I’ll try calling you soon.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Love you.

Anna

Anna closed her laptop and stripped
out of her clothes. Since she was feeling sexy lately, she chose to wear her
navy blue Jeter tee with only her navy blue panties. She wasn’t normally one
who tried to match clothing when she was only going to bed, but she was feeling
more confident lately. She also sprayed a little perfume on her thighs and
neck. Wanting to feel good about herself, she decided not to worry about her
extra weight. Who cared if she didn’t look like she did back when she graduated
from high school? She never claimed to be one of those super-model types.
Besides, she was starting to feel good about her body. And it was great.

She threw the pink pillows to the
floor and crawled between crisp sheets, propped two pillows behind her head,
took a drink of water to wash down the little blue pill, and picked up her
romance read. The book opened to the dog-eared page. From the first word she
read, she started to forget all about her problems and confusion. There would
be time tomorrow to worry about Jake and the feelings sneaking up on her.

The thing she loved about a book was
it could make her leave the world that existed for her, take her to another
time and someone else’s set of problems. Reading was her escape, and sometimes
the only thing that got her through her troubles. She knew that at the end of a
hard, emotional day, she could pick up a book and be sitting on the beach in
Hawaii, hiking in the mountains, or having wild sex on a stormy night in an
instant.

She had left the window open, and the
night was heavy and sweet with the summery scents of honeysuckle and magnolia
and gardenia. Crickets chirped, and a warm breeze filtered through. All seemed
well outside, and Anna hoped it would be a good night for sleep. She’d only had
a few nightmares since being back, but that was to be expected. Being back in
Patience had to be what Liza would call a trigger point.

When she couldn’t read another word,
she tucked her book away, switched off her lamp, and pulled the blankets up tightly.

* * * *

She
had a feeling tonight he would come. The devil and her mother had gotten into a
yelling match…well, he did most of the yelling, while her mother cried. Her
mother slipped off to bed a little early, leaving Anna to do the same. Except,
Anna wouldn’t sleep—at least not yet. She needed to stay awake, because she had
a feeling he would come to her room when he thought she’d fallen asleep.

She
lay there, counting her own breaths, and dreading the moment the door started
to creak open. She needed to be brave, but what did that mean? What was she
supposed to do?

He
left the door cracked open, allowing a little bit of light to seep in.
Ordinarily, the door was never left open. She opened her eyes to see him
walking heavily over to her small bed, pushing her baby dolls out of his path.
Nothing was quiet about this night. Anna knew he was mad. He got down on his
knees and knelt by her side. Clinching her body, she tried making herself as
small as she could. Tiny tears leaked behind her eyelids. She wanted to
scream…she needed to scream.