Forgiving Patience (30 page)

Using his good leg, he pushed his
body off the concrete building used for housing the concession stand. There was
no more time for riding the road back down memory lane. He had a
much-anticipated date with his lover. Wow, did it feel good to finally be able
to say that.

“
Whatcha
doing, sweetness?” he asked as he walked up beside her.

She stopped midstride. “Where’d you
come from?”

“Concessions. Ms. Rachel Bell makes
some damn fine burgers.” After a rush of kids passed, he asked, “You ready?”

“For what?” she questioned.

He only smiled.

“Kids? We’re going to watch a little
league game? That’s what you really want to do for our second date?”

“Don’t let these five-year-olds fool
you. They can pound the ball just as good as a ten year old. The only thing
with this age group is their attention spans. One minute they’re making a good
throw to first base, and the next they’re throwing dirt above their heads while
sitting on the base.”

“I bet they’re so cute.”

“They drive their coaches crazy is
what they do, but yes, they are very cute.”

That was why he didn’t coach little
kids. He helped the ones who took baseball seriously and let the patient men
handle the ones who were only there because of their parents. It was sad to
say, but there were a lot of parents who pushed their kids because
they
had never gotten the chance to
play…and actually be any good at it. He’d seen it when he was a little leaguer,
and noticed, now that he was back, things hadn’t changed much.

With his hand on the small of Anna’s
back, he guided her through the crowd to the small field in back of the park.
He expected her to pull away from him, but when she didn’t, he thought maybe
she was now looking forward to their dates. She seemed happy to be with him.

Hoping he wasn’t pushing his luck, he
grabbed her hand as they climbed the bleachers to the very top.

“Do you come here often?” she asked.

“What, come watch the youngsters
play?”

“Yeah?”

“I try to catch a game here and
there. I usually come when I start to think of my career and how it started on
this same field when I was five years old.”

“Have you been thinking about it
lately?”

“Yeah. I mean, I always think of
baseball. It’s hard not to, but some days it hits me more.”

She placed her hand on his knee. “You
miss it.”

He placed his hand on top of hers and
brought his gaze up. Their gazes collided. “I would be lying if I said I
didn’t, but I’m learning to cope with the loss.”

“I get it. And I’m really sorry,
Jake.”

“I know,” he said…even though he
didn’t understand what she
got
when it came to coping with loss.
Unless maybe she was referring to the death of her mom—which made complete
sense. “Why don’t we table all this talk about the past and watch these future
hall-of-famers show their stuff out here on the diamond?”

It was bottom of the first with the
home team batting. The first Braves player was a young boy named Jared. It was
his first year. He had the attention span of a gnat, but he always seemed to
get a hit. The coach had to pick the kid up so he was actually facing the
plate, then arrange his legs, and pull his elbow up. He had two strikes, and on
the third pitch, he hit the ball as hard as he could. It didn’t go far, but the
crowd cheered. “Go Jared, run…
ruuun
, baby,” the
mother screamed. It was the same response she had every time her son tapped the
ball. “That’s my boy,” she announced, as if everyone didn’t already know. Jared
was tagged out before he reached first base, but he didn’t care. By the
priceless look on his face, just tapping that ball was enough to keep him
coming back year after year to play.

Lance was the next to the plate.
Unlike, Jared, Lance had been playing a couple years. He already knew how to
position himself—just the way Jake had taught him. After hitting the plate a
few times, he pulled back his elbow and zeroed in on the baseball. On the first
pitch, he fired the ball clear to the fence. Most of the opposing team’s
outfielders were young and inexperienced, and had no chance of throwing out the
speedy boy, now rounding second.

“That kid’s really good to be…how old
is he?” Anna asked.

“That there is Lance, and he’s six.
He’s a good kid. I worked with him a little before the season started.”

Anna eyed him. “Do you do that with a
lot of the players?”

“Just the ones who ask. For your
information, I don’t have this big ego where I think I can teach everyone to be
a ballplayer.”

“That’s not what I meant. I just
wondered if you gave lessons to lots of the kids. You do know what you’re doing
and all.” She turned back to face the field, but he could see her watching him
from the corner of her eye. “You’re no Jeter, but I guess—”

“Watch it, Kelly,” he warned. “Don’t
be talking that
crap
,” he added, looking around at all
the people sitting around them. If there hadn’t been so many kids around, he
would’ve used some much harsher words.

She laughed.

Damn it…she knew he loathed New York.
“It’s not funny.” He pouted.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to
hold in another laugh, but failed. When she finally collected herself, she
said, “I’m sorry. That was wrong.”

“Ya think?” He scooted away, putting
a couple of inches between them.

“Jake,” she playfully tugged on his
arm, “you know you can’t stay mad at me all night.” She inched closer to him,
while he only kept moving farther away from her. He didn’t stop until he was
almost sitting right on top of the older man next to him, who was giving him
the stink eye. “What are you going to do now?”

She was right, but he still held his
ground by staying silent.

“What if I made it up to you?”

Now, she was talking. He could think
of a few things she could do to make it up to him. “I’m listening.”

“What if I kissed you?” she
suggested.

He turned to face her. “I think I’ll
forgive you for a kiss.”

She leaned in and gave him a kiss on
his cheek. “How’s that?”

“Not what I was thinking, but it’ll
be enough for now.”

Jake had to explain to Anna that just
like with his softball team, the little league games only went for six innings.
After the last out was made, the home team walked away with a fourteen to ten
win. The crowd cheered as the two teams lined up to give high fives to one
another.

Just as he did every other time he’d
come to watch a game, he slapped each kid on the butt and congratulated them on
their good game. A few hellos were given to both him and Anna, and after
chasing after a few of the kids around the bases, he and Anna were left alone.

He leaned his back against the chain
link fence. “Are we going to talk about last night?”

A rosy color crept up Anna’s neck.
“What do you mean?”

“Sweetness, have I brought up a
pleasurable moment you would love to hit rewind on?”

“Jake Lawrence.”

If she could tease him, he could do
the same to her. “What? It was pleasurable, wasn’t it?”

“There are kids around. You should be
ashamed,” she scolded.

“The closest kid is two fields away.
You wouldn’t be trying to avoid this subject, would you?”

For a second he thought she was going
to slap him. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. “Maybe I just feel it’s wrong to
talk about sex at a park when any kid can approach. You are pretty famous
around here, and anyone can just walk up.”

He chuckled. “If that’s what you say.
You want to know what I think? I think you enjoyed it so much that you’re a
little embarrassed. You did, after all, do a lot of moaning and
oh,
Jakes
, but that’s
nothing to be embarrassed about. I tend to have that effect on women.”

“You are so full of yourself, you
know that? Maybe all that moaning was just a way for me to not hurt your ego.
Maybe
sex with you wasn’t as good as you
think. You ever think of that?”

“Now I know you’re lying.”

“Um…can we talk about something else
right now?”

“Sure. How about we discuss you
coming back to my place and enjoy round two of our lovemaking…or would it be
round three if you count this morning?”

“I’m sorry about your mom, Jake.”

“Wow, where did that come from?” That
was sure out of the blue. And not what he wanted to be talking about. He turned
to position himself on the fence, facing the field.

“Just something I should’ve said a
long time ago,” Anna admitted.

Just thinking about all he and
Bradley had lost literally caused his chest to ache. He stared down at the
cleat indented clay. “It was hard, and I wish I would’ve handled it better, but
I didn’t, and that is something I am going to have to live with. It was a storm
of emotions I wasn’t prepared to face and feel. I pretty much gave up on my
life and dug myself into this hole nobody could get me out of. I was saturated
with grief. I don’t even remember much of what happened or what I was doing.”

It was for this reason that he’d
needed something to keep his mind busy. Anna’s house was the solution.

“You had a right to be beside
yourself with grief. It’s natural, Jake. You can’t keep beating yourself up
about it.”

He wished everyone would stop giving
him a pass. He didn’t deserve it. “I gave up, sweetness. On everything that
mattered to me. I left baseball, my friends, and my brother, for God’s sake.
Bradley was hurting too, and what did I do? I became a drunk he had to go pick
up after last call every night. I am the eldest. I should’ve been a better
brother to him. I should’ve taken care of him instead of the other way around.”
And it wasn’t only him being a disappointment. While he was at it, he might as
well admit the rest. “Did you know I could’ve returned back to the game that
next season? I hurt my knee pretty bad, but if I would’ve finished my treatment
and rehab, I could’ve gone back. I could still be playing this game.” He gestured
to the small field they were standing on. It was the field he’d once played on
and still loved. “I was going to, in the beginning, but then my mom died, and…I
was just lost.”

“No, I didn’t know. You want to tell
me about it?” she asked.

And when others had asked him that
very question, he, in a nice way, said
hell, no
, but it wasn’t like that with Anna.
In that moment she wasn’t just his lover, she was that teenage girl he
considered his best friend. Taking a much needed breath, he started, “My team
was ahead by one in the bottom of the sixth.
Jonsey
hit a bullet to centerfield, and there was no way I was settling on third base
when I knew I could make it home.”

“You always were one of those
annoying players who thought they were God’s gift to baseball. You know fans
cuss you through the television, don’t you?”

He smiled. “Yeah. But they sure do
cheer when we players come through for them in the end.”

“Did you know when you were running
around the bases how bad your knee was injured?”

“Even above the noise of thirty
thousand fans, I could hear the pop. I immediately knew I’d blown out my knee.
A knee doesn’t just snap for any reason. I remember the pain being
excruciating. How I kept running I don’t know. The trainers told me I should’ve
dropped to the ground instantly, but I guess I was too stubborn to give up and
allow a pinch runner to run for me. So even though it meant a collision at the
plate, I knew my team needed the assurance run.”

“You sacrificed your body and career
for the game. I know that’s the kind of teammate you are, but you do know how
stupid that was, don’t you?”

“It’s part of the game, sweetness.”

“But do you not understand you scared
the living daylights out of me? I sat there, watching your life change in
between bases, and wasn’t able to stop it.”

That took him aback. For a moment he
stared at her blankly. “Were you there?”

“Not in the stands, but I watched
from my home. And that made it worse, because if I had been there, I could at
least have made sure you were okay. At home, I was forced to listen to the
commentaries and your manager downplay it. I know they didn’t want to say too
much before tests were run—but damn it…I was sick about it, Jake.”

“Oh, honey.” He stroked the side of
her cheek. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. I didn’t think you watched me
play.”

She offered him a shy smile. “It’s a
guilty pleasure.”

That sounded pretty damned good to
him. All those years she’d secretly watched him from afar. He couldn’t wrap his
mind around it.

“My mom loved watching you play too.”

He turned his back to her and slumped
his shoulders over the fence. “I should’ve called you when she passed away.”