Forgiving Patience (29 page)

“Like I said, Anna, it doesn’t matter
to me. But…maybe I just found a way to stay in your bed.”

She laughed. “You think we can crawl
back in bed for a bit longer right now?”

“Only if you lose that shirt.” Before
he finished saying it, he was already pulling her shirt over her head. Any
other time she would have been self-conscious about standing there completely
nude in front of a man. But now, with Jake, she felt so free and vulnerable—and
it was exhilarating.

They both curled up into each other
and drifted back to sleep. Both of them were right where they wanted to be.

* * * *

“Where have you been? I’ve been sitting
here waiting for almost thirty minutes,” Em yelled when Anna entered C.C’s
Diner. Her friend was seated at a booth and was spitting-nails-mad that Anna
was running a little late for lunch.

“Sorry. I overslept.”

“It’s one in the afternoon. Who
sleeps that long? Seriously, Anna, you need to go see a sleep doctor.”

A couple of years ago she had
considered the same thing, but decided there was no doctor who could cure what
she was experiencing. She had to put her past behind her, which was her only
way of overcoming her demon, the one that visited late at night in her dreams.
One way to put her past firmly in the past was to stop thinking so much and
actually be a person who lived…a person who could have sex the night before and
act perfectly normal about it the next day.

“This time was a little different.”
Anna could feel a revelation coming, and she relented, not really wanting to
hold back about her night with Jake. She needed to talk about it. And although
she was concerned about
Em’s
ability to keep a secret,
she had no one else she would share such private information with.

“I slept with Jake last night,” Anna
blurted out.

Em’s
eyes shot up behind the glass of
Coke she’d just raised to take a sip of. “You did what? I know I have to being
going deaf, because there is no way in hell I heard you say what I thought you
said.”

Okay, that was a mouthful, even for
Em.

“You heard right. It happened last
night after the bachelor auction.”

“I can’t believe this. I need
details. Don’t leave anything out.” Em was probably going to be the only one
who would be happy about this development, because Liza was going to kill her.
Anna didn’t see Liza forgiving Jake anytime in the near future.

Liza was one of the friendliest
people Anna knew—unless that person happened to be Jake. It didn’t matter that
her friend had never met Jake. It also didn’t matter that what happened between
Anna and Jake was eleven years ago. Time did not heal all wounds, according to
Liza. She played hardball when it came to men. One of her favorite activities
was making a man grovel. Anna didn’t know how in the hell her friend was one of
the best therapists in Linden. Or how she had kept a boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” she said, scanning
the hometown diner. “This isn’t the safest place to talk about things like
this.”

“Oh, come on. The only two people in
here can’t hear without the help of a hearing aid. Mr. Johnson and old man
Mannard
could care less about your sex life. Get to it,” Em
demanded, shaking the laminated menu in Anna’s face.

No
getting out of this
.
She’d actually been the one to bring it up. What was wrong with her? Could she
be a woman she had never been—one who had a sex life? One who was wild? Yes,
she could, she decided.

“Okay…but you’d better keep your
mouth shut, no letting tidbits slip while you’re coloring some teenaged girl’s
hair.”

The two friends did their promise handshake.

“After the auction I was bummed. I
didn’t know I wanted to win Jake until I risked money I barely had. After you
and I separated in the parking lot of the school I went to Ollie’s to—”

“Sorry, but you did what?” Em asked,
clearly not sorry for her interruption. “Why did you go to a bar…alone?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Anna was
shocked that going to Ollie’s would be the more stunning news at the moment. “I
wanted to have a drink and accomplish something on my own for a change.”

“You should have told me. I would
have gone with you.”

“I needed to do it by myself. I know
it seems stupid and petty, but I had something I needed to prove to myself.”
And she’d proven it. She went to a bar—alone—showed cleavage and all. She’d
even gotten kissed by one of Patience’s handsomest men. It had been a good
night for her.

Anna went on about her night. “So, at
the bar Ollie changed the television to the Yankees game.”

“He did what?” Em asked, shocked
again.

“Em, do you want to know what
happened or what?”

“Yes. Sorry. Go ahead.” Em pretended
she was zipping her lips closed, which they both knew was impossible to do.

“So, I watched the game with Tex and
don’t even say anything,” Anna added before Em could interrupt again about the
idea of her and Tex being together. According to Jake, Tex was a still the same
kind of ladies’ man he had been back in high school, and she needed to stay
clear. “After the game, Tex left…” No need adding the peck on the mouth part.
“and, Jake walked up to me. He apparently had been watching me from his seat at
the bar. We started talking about how I root for a pansy team…just the usual,
and one thing just led to him driving us back to my place.”

“So how was it…I mean the sex. How
was the sex?”

“Really good,” Anna admitted with a
shy grin on her face. She couldn’t lie, nor did she want to. The sex was more
than good—it was terrific. When she had been eager to rush through it, he
slowed down the pace, forcing her to experience every mind-blowing kiss and
touch. And on top of that he had made sure she came first, that she was once
again taken care of before his needs were met.

She loved that he took special care
with her body, something she knew was not in shape like an athlete’s. If
anything, he seemed to love her curves. When he suckled her breasts, weighing
them in his hands, she could have gone over the edge without him touching any
other part of her body. She’d never had a man look at her like he was about to
feast on her—and she wouldn’t have minded that a bit. And even though she was
the one who’d asked him to stay, he had said he was intending to do that very
same thing. It was perfect…the whole night, him included, was just perfect.
Even when he’d found out about her depression secret he was okay with it, and
it didn’t seem to change anything. Damn…she was giddy again.

“So was this a onetime thing, or are
you two starting up a fling?”

Funny how Anna hadn’t really thought
that far—something she was prone to do with all aspects of her life. Thinking
and planning were what kept her in line and sane. Apparently not this time,
because she hadn’t thought about much more than the great sex. It had never
entered into her mind to wonder whether they would do it again.

Em must have been reading Anna’s face
and knew the wheels were turning, because she cautioned, “You know I am a J-Ann
fan…I really am, but I just don’t want to see you hurt and feel the need to
stay away again. I’ve liked having you around, and I sure as hell will not let
Jake keep you away from me again. I know it was my idea for you to mess with
Jake a little bit, but maybe that wasn’t the safest thing.”

Anna had forgotten that her actions
had affected more than just her. They had affected Em…Ms. Edna…and maybe even
Jake. “I make my own decisions. I wanted to sleep with Jake, and so I did. And
you know I had other reasons too, for leaving Patience. It was not all because
of Jake.”

“I know…I just don’t like thinking
about the other, so I just blame everything on Jake. He doesn’t deserve it, I
know, but life isn’t fair, and he was an ass.”

Anna knew that Em was saying
underneath her words that she knew life wasn’t fair because of the trauma Anna
had experienced as a young girl. They rarely talked about it. The memories were
too overwhelming for Anna, and Em had recognized early on, that it was best to
be a silent supporter.

Leaving the painful subject, better
known as her childhood, she decided to get back to the question Em had asked.
What was she expecting out of this thing with Jake? They still had lots to
discuss, but even if they didn’t, she couldn’t have a fling with Jake. It was
just a night filled with great sex—something Anna had needed. She’d needed it
more than she would have ever thought.

“No, it’s not a fling. It was just a
one-night thing, nothing more. I came here for your wedding and to sell my
house. Not to get swallowed up in some reckless relationship. But…I did agree
to see him again tonight.”

“Reckless?”

“Do you not remember how the guy was
on the ball field, or the way he now drives? Yes, he is definitely reckless,
and I don’t need that in my life.”

“Well, anyway,” her friend said, as
if dismissing it, “whatever you decide is your choice. But you need some
reckless, if you ask me. You are too uptight, and I’d rather you have hot sex
than consume alcohol. Whatever you want, you better hurry up and decide,
especially if you’re seeing him again.”

She and Em hadn’t really gotten to
talk about what had happened the night of the bachelorette party. Em had been
busy with work and the wedding, and Anna had really just not wanted to talk
about it. Em had known that and kept their talk away from the whole Cara
lashing.

“I’m really sorry about your party,
Em. I was never a good drinker, and when I saw her I just snapped.”

Em waved her off. “Don’t be silly. I
would’ve reacted the same way if it was Tommy. I keep putting you in situations
where you are thrown for a loop and I am the one who needs to be sorry. I can’t
believe I failed to mention Tommy and Cara are distant cousins…I think on his
mom’s side. I messed up.”

“It’s fine now.”

“I’d say so. After I picked you up at
Jake’s the morning after the party I thought y’all had had some big falling
out, but just look at you two. I’m the one about to get married, and you’re the
one off having crazy, wild sex.”

* * * *

The sky looked like purple and orange
streamers stretched across the almost darkness. It was vast and open. It was a
perfect night for baseball…or softball.

Kids eagerly snatched up their bats,
gloves, and balls. They were ready to play. A young girl, probably around the
age of five, was learning how to play catch with her dad. Both child and dad
beamed with every catch. Watching the two brought back the memory of his
parents and how they each had, in different ways, supported his love for the
game.

Being drafted out of high school gave
him the headlining story in the Patience Gazette. His mother stayed on the
phone most of the day—receiving congratulations for her oldest son’s
accomplishment, while he’d spent most of his day staring at the diamond that
started it all. The place he’d played his first tee-ball game. He wanted to
live up to that little boy’s expectations again. That little boy was innocent
and had looked at baseball as being simple. Win or lose, he loved the game. But
he had to admit winning was so much sweeter.

He was reluctant to leave town
because of his mother and Bradley. But his mom refused to let him give up his
dream. She was the pure example of strength and courage. After all, it took
those two things and more to overcome the death of a husband and raise two
rambunctious boys.

God, how she would have been saddened
at the man he was today. Of course, she would have comforted him after his
injury, but she also would have slapped him silly if she could; for going out
every night, getting plastered, and not remembering the girl or even the night
before, after her death. That’s what he’d needed: a good slap in the face, but
everyone around him was too afraid. They wanted to give him time. He didn’t
need time. He needed his mother back.

Losing her was worse than the night
he touched home plate for the last time in his Major League career. While it
was his dad who had introduced him to the game of baseball, it was his mother
who’d nurtured his love of it, supported him, and convinced him not to settle
for anything less than what he dreamed of. And, he’d wanted to play baseball
for the Atlanta Braves since his dad took him and Bradley to their first big
league game.

Like any other seven-year-old, he was
in awe at the size of the field. He didn’t want popcorn, cotton candy, or even
a souvenir he could take home and brag to all his friends that he’d gotten to
see a real game. All he wanted was the game. He didn’t think he said a single word
the three hours it took for San Francisco to beat Atlanta by two runs. From
that day on, he’d planned to play short-stop for Atlanta. While he never got to
play short, he got to play third base for the same franchise that included most
of his idols. And just like them, he thought he was living out his glory days.

Nothing could have been further from
the truth. He was cocky enough to think some kid in the cheap seats would see
him—number twenty-five—and beg for that number to be on the back of his baseball
jersey.