Flight of the Maita Supercollection 3: Solving Galactic Problems Collector's Edition (161 page)

[ He has
sensors he made himself if I'd tried that. I know about them. I had
my own sensors watching him while he hooked them up! ]

"You can unwrap
anytime you like, now," Z suggested. "It's hardly comfortable
having a lump of Silly Putty your size sitting on my head ...
Gmfpth!"

Thing wrapped a
tentacle across Z's mouth. [ Doesn't he make the oddest sounds when
I do that, Maita? Look how blue he turns – and just because I sort
of stop him from breathing! How odd! Maybe I should make a
longrange study of the phenomenon. I could do extensive research
for University and Library! It would be a rather shortterm study,
though. Once he's dead he won't make noises or turn strange colors
anymore. ]

Thing released
Z, then dropped to curl into a ball on his lap. The two stalked
eyes peered up from the tentacles, which always amused Z. The
affection they felt for one another was obvious.

*I'm getting
bored. Let's turn the empire over to the servos for awhile. With
things running as smoothly as they are for the past few years no
one will ever know if we never come back! I'd like to see a few of
the places we haven't been back to for the past couple of centuries
if only to see how well things are going. Do you realize we haven't
been back to Vendu in more than half a century? We haven't been to
Zeena, to ... hey! Let's start at Tlorg! Remember the fun we had
there? I'd like to see how those people are doing. I think the
satellite needs re-adjustment or something while we're there
anyhow, too. It's given some strange readings. That will be an
excuse to go!*

Maita spoke in
a mechanical form and until recently hadn't used contractions at
all unless it was losing its temper (Oh, yes! It definitely had a
temper!) or was under stress for some reason. As Thing's "voice"
was produced by Maita it followed the same patterns Maita did. It
was beginning to use them now that it could analyze where they
would better serve. When it was away from Maita and using the
translator on its floater it tended to use more of them.

[ We could go back as Boss and Maybe. We could explain that
Extrx decided to stay home to raise a family. That's what Tom
actually did. They still have the salve jar we gave that Verfral
warrior. We told them it was wizard's gold and would turn to stone
if Boss died. Did you know I once went back to Tlorg, Z
(
Change
s)? Only for a few hours, but I had to go back. It was
about the time you and.... You and Tab were off on something or
other. The thing with those stock markets. Remember? ]

"That was only
a few years after we were there!" Z cried. "What happened? I
thought we had a satellite up and no one would go there until they
were advanced enough."

*Immins
happened. They were trying to set up a base there to hide their
criminals. Remember Net? It was his son Thing contacted. Called him
Kene, didn't you, Thing?*

[ Yes, Maita.
He was a wizard. Z, he opened Martin's box! Martin said that
progeny of Net would be a famous wizard. He was quite old when I
was there. He asked me about Boss and Extrx. He had a demon of a
type I'd never seen before with him. The demon was living on Tlorg
then, but had been back home fifty someodd times. Kene would open a
portal anytime any of the demons wanted to come or go. ]

*Tab also went
to Tlorg a few years ago as a magician to solve a murder. He said
things were about like we'd described. Not very much had changed. A
Frome came to the agency to get help. The demons there seem to come
and go pretty much as they please.*

"I guess King
Lear set that up," Z said. "He and – what was her name? – Wald!
That's it! Obe Lear and Wald sort of made the demons welcome at the
palace."

*It was Obe's
son, Pan, who was king at the time Thing was there. The demon was a
Pluton – from the plane where they call Tlorg Hades. They are an
extremely fierce-looking people and even I....*

"What?! Pan!?"
Z exclaimed. "Hades? Plutons? Great jumping Jehosaphat! And I
always thought ‘King Lear’ was a coincidence!"

[ I take it
that Pan and Hades and Pluton were also mythological beings on
Earth? ]

"Hades was the
Greek name for hell," Z replied. "Pan was a Greek god. Pluto was
another name, Roman, I think, for the god of the underworld. Don't
tell me the Pluton was bright red, had horns and a spear-tipped
tail and had cloven hooves!?"

[ How did you
know?! ]

*That's mean,
Thing! Wruk was more orangey than red!*

"You're putting
me on!" Z cried.

[ On what?
]

*I've read all
that stuff from Terra. I hate to say it, but Hades' atmosphere has
a rather high concentration of sulfur dioxide, which the Plutons on
Tlorg – or the one, anyhow – have to add to their diet as organic
sulfur compounds. They were advanced about to the stage Earth was
when you left. Nuclears, jets and all that stupid crap.*

"My God!" Z
cried. "We've seen a lot of.... Is it possible that...? The planal
interface would allow Earth to reach Hades, too?

"I don't see
how that could be!"

[ Z, the Pluton
didn't really look like that. It was a little under three meters
high, was black-furred, had strange eyes that phosphoresced, had
teeth a little longer and sharper than Ape's were, the canines were
like tusks, sort of, and went to his chin and his claws were just a
little longer and sharper than Tom's were. It was the general basic
K-form shape as you or the Tlorgians except it was very powerfully
muscled. It didn't ... you're looking at me like I'm crazy! ]

"That's
something we've known for centuries," Z quipped. "You're describing
a demon from Earth's oldest dark mythology. You're describing
Beelzebub or Astoreth or a hundred others. This is weird. How can
you explain it?"

*In infinity
there have to be an infinite number of similar or even identical
possibilities, so.... I don't believe that for one single second!
Thing, run the math for planal displacement physics through
(Thing's race are the most intelligent beings known. It can handle
mathematics even machines such as Maita can't. It understands the
planal interfaces which is abstract concept taken to ridiculous
extremes). See if there's a possibility Earth and Tlorg can both
use a nexus at Hades.*

[ I have to
have dimensional interstice points for Hades. From what I can tell
without those coordinates Tlorg has to actually BE Earth! Do you
know what that means, Maita? Transcend dimensional nexus.... Shift
the Zibek scale to a qat base on the ... oh, wow! Maita, it's
basic! We all know the omniverse is a point. If the various
universes that make up the omniverse are also expressed points we
can superimpose anywhere on anywhere else. We could step from Tlorg
through Hades to Earth. Instantly! Maybe that's how the transmats
work? We never did find the math behind them. We copy the original
portals we found and we use them, but we don't know.... Step along
the dimensional interface ... which is impossible! This is
fascinating! Absolutely fascinating! ]

"What does all
this foolishness mean? Really?" Z asked.

*It means none
of it really exists even to the extent we've always worked under
knowing it all adds up to zero. If Thing's right about this, and
it's always right about mathematical constructs, we can ...
what?*

[ Oh, it's not
right, I'm sure. If it was.... If that theory's right things don't
just add up to zero – they ARE zero. ]

"Which
means?"

*None of us
exist. Shall we go to Tlorg to find out? Boss and Maybe ride again!
I'll even take the golems out of storage!*

[ You kept
them? You actually kept Yes and No? ]

*So I'm just a
sentimental old fool. Sue me! If we're all in agreement we can
leave as soon as arrangements are made for the handling of your
extensive estates whilst we become otherwise engaged. I'll prime
the servos. If we don't come back it'll be centuries before anyone
suspects we're not here. Isn't it great to feel so needed?*

It really was a
great feeling to be heading back to Tlorg. They had enjoyed that
place more than any other they visited, though this time they would
be without Tom, the Zeenan, who was a bit shorter than Z, much more
powerful, black and shiny and catlike even to having a tail.

"Maita?" Z
asked. "Can't we alter Kit or Tab to be Extrx? It seems we should
have him along for the sake of the legends we started. We said we'd
someday return. All of us."

*They're both
on a very important assignment. Maybe we can get one of Tom's
great-great-whatever grandsons to come? I can program him with
Tom's memories. I've got them on crystal, you know. I can edit out
all but the Tlorgian part. I doubt that any of you organics would
appreciate having all the memories of any of your direct
ancestors.*

"Tom never did
anything any of his progeny would be ashamed of!" Z protested.

[ Hah! Like you
never had any little personal secrets you'd like your progeny to
never know? Get serious! ]

"You've got a
point. I guess we've all done some things we'd prefer that the
universe forget ever happened."

[ I haven't!
]

*Me
neither!*

"I said I
guessed! I haven't either. It's just that I assume everyone else
has."

They all knew,
of course, of things each had done that they wished had never taken
place. Even Maita had done things in a fit of temper (A machine
with intelligence can have a temper if it has a sense of outrage –
such as the one Maita had) it would like to have forgotten. The
fact that what one finds personally degrading often doesn't make
any sense to another being doesn't enter into emotional issues.
They joked and teased at one another while Maita fastcommed Zeena
to ask if any of the great (Etc.) grandsons of Tom would enjoy
being a part of this. It reported later that Ehrak was fascinated
by the idea of being able to live inside of a family legend and
would be waiting for Maita to pick him up.

Thing arranged
for the things on its own island a few kilometers south of Z's to
be handled by some of Joe's People and the Tendd as did Z for his
own island. Maita ran through the most recent data from the eight
thousand plus worlds in the Maitan Empire, saw there wasn't
anything that couldn't be handled well by the servos, checked with
the traders guild, obtained the same results, then they left for
Zeena.

Ehrak was very
much like Tom had been, excited about being a part of the adventure
and absorbed the memories well. They were lucky he was much the
same as Tom so far as humor and personality were concerned, too.
There was great dependence on humor in this kind of work.

Thing spent
most of the traveling time in its cubicle studying the mathematical
theories of planal point striation. It was enthused about the
possibility Earth and Tlorg were actually the same place, possibly
slightly displaced in time which would mean there was only one
place in all the universe – a place we each perceive in different
times.

Maita is a
saucer-type ship, is sixty meters across and is composed of ten
pie-shaped rooms, several of which have cubicles on their outer
perimeters. The cubicles are inside of the rim, which houses a
variety of devices. The center of the ship has a clear dome "above"
and "below" that have "motors" in the center level between. The
dome on the "bottom" is called the pilot's dome while the one on
"top" is empty. It's called the "O" (observation) dome. Behind room
two is a cubicle which is Thing's private room. The pilot's dome is
considered to be Z's private quarters as there was no longer any
need of a pilot for Maita.

Tom had used
room nine which was originally the crews' bunk quarters so Ehrak
would do the same. Room one was a cargo hold, had "doors" to the
outside and held eighteen extra power spheres that were kept fully
charged. A ship needed only one sphere, but there were times those
extra power spheres were all that had saved the group.

Maita, TRD-60
(Tab's ship, as well as the second part of the mechanical
detective) and T6 (Kit's ditto) were the only ships possessing the
drive called TTH14, discovered by TR (As TRD-60 was called)
accidentally. The other known intelligent ships, Searcher and
Theron, didn't want the drive and only a truly independently
intelligent ship could handle it. Organic brains couldn't make
decisions and implement them in fractions of a picosecond nor could
a machine that must be programmed for each maneuver. Even the
fastest push-pull type response circuit had a pause of a
millisecond or more to make the decision and that could translate
to thousands of plazsis off course. There is nothing truly
automatic in the response of such systems.

Maita brought out the floaters containing the golems, two
brass heads sitting on a "plate" at an angle from one another that
had acted as judges on Tlorg (Book five:
Now
You See It – Now You
Don't
) under
Maita's control, though Maita had set up separate circuits to "run"
the golems. Maita didn't want to control them because that would
take the fun out of it. There drive circuits had developed distinct
personality traits for the heads and was adding constantly to the
vast storehouse of things they said, particularly the negative
cynic head, No. Yes was the "phony liberal" type personality, as Z
described it. They were positioned to where they couldn't "see" one
another, were of opposite temperaments and never stopped arguing.
Yes was sickeningly sweet while No was cynical and acid-tongued.
The device was used to establish courts of law on the first
trip.

Tlorg was in
that stage of societal evolution where there were sorcerers and
magicians so Z, Thing, Tom and the golems were thought to be demons
and were used as such. Maita spun a castle about itself and
directed the golems from there. It had installed their separate
director circuits shortly before they left Tlorg and had kept that
unit intact.