Fever Pitch (11 page)

“Okay,” I agreed. If he wanted to ignore the fact that his mother was there, then what other choice did I have? I didn’t want to ruin my time.

***

We walked in front of Buckingham Palace and I was in awe. It was so massive, and it looked lonely and cold. I imagined the period movies and TV shows about The Queen and The Tudors. The history of England and its monarchy was so intriguing to me. I wished I could go on a private tour of all their residences and meet with The Queen. I thought of Princess Diana, and wondered how it must have been for her. What a tragedy to be hounded so insistently by the paparazzi. To feel the sense of urgency to escape their lenses, that you die fleeing, in a fiery crash. I thought of the new princess, Kate, and hoped she’d be left alone to raise her family and love her husband, the future King. Prince William would probably be an old man by the time he became king. Queen Elizabeth must be a vampire or something. She’d looked the same for as long as I could remember, old but never aging.

              We strolled over, hand in hand, to the fountain and it was partially frozen. I picked up a handful of snow that had piled on the side of the fountain’s wall, forming it into a ball, and threw it at Jake. He chased me down the street and scooped me up, spinning me around, threatening me that he’d throw me into the fountain if I didn’t behave. Jake’s mood was light, as if he’d forgotten that Kate was there, this was a relief to me. We stood kissing in the cold wind, and I was filled with the warmth and calm I’d been longing for. The idea of coming to visit Jake in London was always so far away, a dream. We slipped back into the ease of enjoying each other without words, just being together. There’s something to say about the ability to just be with someone in silence.

              “Have you had enough of the snow, Alycat?” His blue eyes shone like jewels against the white contrast of our surroundings.
              “Wait.” I instructed. “Stand there. It’s my turn to be an artsy photographer.” I slipped the gloves off my hands and dug the phone from my bag. “I’m not sure if this will work, but your eyes are so amazing against the snow.”

              “Okay.” He chuckled uncomfortably.

              I held my camera phone close to his face. I only wanted his eyes and the white landscape in the background. After a few shots I was pretty sure I’d find one that was perfect. I stared at the pictures on my screen. “You have no idea how I could just stare into your eyes forever.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but the words leaked quietly out of my mouth before I realized it. He pulled me close and I shook off my embarrassment of being so hopelessly in love. “But now I can.”

              “You have your pictures and I have mine.” He winked down at me.

              The verve of desire pulsed through me. “I think I’m ready for you to warm me up.”

***

              What was it about human instinct? The carnal nature in us all; you either feel it for someone or you don’t. I’ve never felt it so strongly for anyone other than Jake. Would I ever? I knew I had a full life and experiences ahead of me, but I always had a thirst for Jake. Even after the years that went by, nothing or no one could quench it. Sure, there were other boys and then Nathan and Mike (ugh, I shouldn’t count Mike). I was super attracted to Nathan, and for a while there, I wanted him, or I thought I did, but I could never go all the way. The feelings for Nathan were never the insatiable kind, like they were with Jake.

As I lay next to Jake, listening to the quiet rhythm of his breathing, the yearning, animalistic feelings were manifesting. I coiled my leg around his and pressed my pelvic bone into his hip, kissing his shoulder. He moaned deeply and shifted to face me. After a few moments of soft kisses, he moved to take me. His hand ran over my thigh and grabbed my hip, filling me. We moaned in unison. How could I want to be closer to him? There was no possible way
to
be. If I could have found a way, I would have made it happen.

Lying there, spent with satisfaction, I watched Jake mill around the flat. Emily had come to clean while we were out. I was bummed I’d missed her. Not only did I want to check her out, I did want to thank her for cleaning up after me. It was dark outside, just after 6 pm. I snuggled into the pillows, taking in Jake’s comforting aroma. My skin and hair were filled with traces of him, and it made my insides bubble. I could have died happy right then and there. Jake slid back in next to me after getting the fire going again.

He pulled me close.  “So my mom wants to have dinner.”

My stomach sank. “With who? You?”

“She didn’t say, but I’m assuming the both of us.”

“Maybe you should just go.”

“I’m not going without you.” I could feel his heart beat accelerate. “She’s being strange, I have to admit.”

“I told you!” my voice leapt and I sat up looking down at him. “What did she say?”

He covered his face with his hands. “I finally checked my phone, and she left two messages.”

“And?” I peeled one of his hands from his face.

“It’s just the sound of her voice, the tone, and she said she loved me
very much
, like twice in the same message.”

I didn’t know what to say, my mind instantly went to her health. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” He sat up. “Now I’m worried.”

Jake called his mom while I moved to get ready. I’d not been outside at night yet, and I was excited to see the nighttime sights, even though I was bummed about Kate. I prayed that it wasn’t anything too serious.

Kate was staying at The May Fair Hotel, and she’d picked a quant little bistro just a few doors down. It was weird sitting there with her, making small talk. Now that Jake’s phone had been re-commissioned, it was going off constantly. I’d yet to hear the familiar Sophia tone.
Thank God.

Jake’s phone rang out again, for the third time. “Hey, I’m sorry, it’s Bobby. Somethin’ must be up, I gotta take this.”

“Sure darling, go ahead.” Kate nodded as if giving him permission.

Jake got up from the table and vanished. I didn’t expect him to leave the table. Now Kate and I were awkwardly staring at each other. I smiled and grabbed my water, taking a sip.

Kate smiled pleasantly at me, then opened her mouth. “Alyssa, how have you been?”

I blinked, wondering what I should offer up. “I’ve been great. I’m excited to be here. I’ve never been to London.”

“It’s a beautiful city. Too bad you decided to come in the depths of winter.”

“I didn’t realize it would be snowing.”

She sipped her wine. I wanted to sip her wine. Ugh, should I order a glass? I was of age in Europe, after all. I seriously needed something to calm me down. Kate stared in thought at the empty plate in front of her, and before I realized it, I was asking a question.

“Is everything okay?”

Kate’s mouth opened to speak, but then she closed it, smiling at me. She took a deep breath and sighed loudly. “Everything will be fine.”

“Are you ok?” I looked at her keenly, praying she’d say yes.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“No really, are
you
ok?” I decided to just go for it. Who knows if Jake would ever ask? “You know, Jake’s really shocked to see you here. He’s worried about you.”

“There is nothing wrong with me. There is something that’s come up, and…” She trialed off, sadness filled her eyes and a bit of something else I couldn’t place. “It’s about time that we discuss it, and I just wanted to see my son.” She gave me a weak smile. “I missed him. It’s been over a year.”

What?

We nodded at each other. None of this was my business, and I decided not to ask any more questions, but Kate decided to do some asking. She asked about school and college as she finished off her wine and rearranged her utensils. Our short and burly waiter took Kate’s empty glass and she ordered another one.

“I’d like a glass too,” I piped to the waiter as he was walking away from our table. I didn’t look at Kate. I just smiled at the waiter, hoping he wouldn’t ID me. When our eyes met, Kate wore an incredulous grin, like, ‘
no, you didn’t just do that
.’  
Um, yeah I did,
I thought and took a piece of pumpernickel bread out of the basket in front of me. Kate cleared her throat, and finally the bomb dropped.

“How long have you and Jake been talking?”

Hold it together, Aly.
“We’ve always talked, Kate.”

“Really? Jake never mentioned it.” She wasn’t being bitchy

I decided to just lay it all out there. The tension I was feeling was killing me. “Kate, I’m really nervous, sitting here with you.” I paused, gathering my thoughts. “I don’t know what to say, about Jake and I. We care about each other, still, after all this time. We’ve stayed in touch, and I decided to come for a visit for my birthday. It’s just that simple.”

The waiter placed our red wine glasses in front of us and I reached for mine right away, holding it up to Kate. She gave me a tight grin, and a chuckle was underneath it. “Cheers, my dear. Happy Birthday,” she said, taking her glass and clinking it against mine.

“Cheers.” I took a sip, though I wanted to gulp it down. I searched for Jake off in the distance; nothing. “I hope everything is alright.”

“I’m sure it is. You know how these things go.”

No, not really.
“Yeah.” I bobbed my head.

Kate’s eyes searched mine. “So you said one of the schools you may attend is NYU?”

I gulped. “Yes, Jake wants me to attend NYU.” Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything, but why not? It was the truth.

“Jake
wants
you to attend NYU?” Skepticism dripped from her mouth.

Ugh
.

“Yes, he does. It was his idea.” I sucked in a breath before telling the truth. “I’m not so sure about it though.”

Kate’s expression lightened.
Really? Do you hate me that much that you don’t want me near your son?
“Then don’t do it. Don’t do something that you have doubts about.”

“Jake doesn’t know that I’m having second thoughts. I just think, why not go to a school that’s offering me free ride, you know? It’d be so stupid to spend the money…”

“Indeed. Not wise at all,” she interrupted. I wouldn’t dare tell her that Jake was offering to pay my tuition; she’d probably eat me alive. Her eyes kept searching my face. “Aly, I know Jake is my son, and I want him to be happy. If he’s happy with you and you’re happy together, then so be it. If you have doubts, do yourself a favor and take your time to figure it out.” This time Kate took a huge gulp of her wine. At that same moment I finally spotted Jake off in the distance walking back towards us. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Mistakes? What?
I didn’t have time to engage her further before Jake sat down next to me, taking my hand. Kate smiled caringly at me and then at Jake, not offering any words to bring Jake into our conversation. We were done. My mind struggled with the meaning of what she’d shared. I thought about Notting, knowing the comment must have been about her relationship with him. It just had to be. In that moment, I felt different about Kate, like we’d secretly bonded in some weird way.

15

              The delights of the day ended twisted and strained. Jake was unusually quiet (and by that I mean mute), stuck in an agitated flux of grabbing the back of his neck. I don’t think he even realized he didn’t say one word the entire drive home. He played with the radio like it was a lifeline. I was caught up in my own vacuum of mental activity: Kate and Notting
.

              I reached over and rubbed Jake’s thigh as we parked in front of his home. He took my hand; still no words. As we walked through the door, he stopped and stared at me with slumped shoulders, shaking his head.

              “Dump’s really sick. They think it might be Mono or something.”

              “Who told you?”

              “Bobby. Bobby was at Dump and Sienna’s place.” He sighed heavily and took off his scarf and coat, tossing it towards the sofa. It landed on the floor and he just stared at it. His mind was elsewhere.

              I walked over and picked it up, glancing back at him. “What is it? There’s more?”

              “Bobby said that Dump’s not been feeling well for a while, and wants to go back to New York if he doesn’t feel better in a few days. We’ll need to find a fill in for this next tour if that’s the case.”

              My insides went cold, like I was a Grim Reaper. I felt as if I was always casting black veils over everyone in Jake’s life. Back then and now. Like nothing ever went right when I was around. Would he see it that way? Anxiety rose inside of me.

              “I’m sorry.” I was dejected, and folded my gloved hands together.

              “No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this is all goin’ down while you’re here.” Jake trudged toward the fireplace. “It’s fucking freezing in here.”

              I’d not noticed. I was still wearing my coat, hat and scarf. I took off my gloves and walked to the wall thermostat, turning the heat on. Jake got the fire crackling and turned on music. I peeled off my coat and glanced at him. He was watching me with adoring eyes. A smile peeped at the sides of his mouth, easing a bit of the tension running through me.

              “I feel bad.” What else was I gonna say?

              “Me too. I feel bad because at first I was happy that he was sick so I could spend more time with you, now he’s
really
sick, and I feel like a dick.” He hung his head as he sat down. I walked over sitting on the sofa next to him. He grabbed my knee as if to get my attention. “Maybe we should just all go back now.” Trouble painted his face as he lay back, resting his head on the sofa’s arm. I scooted in closer, pulling at his legs for him to rest them over my thighs. “I know Dump’s gonna leave. Bobby said Sienna wants to go back and get him well. I can’t fight with that. He’ll listen to her.”

              “What will you do?”

              “I’ll have to meet with Notting tomorrow. I can’t let this sit. I’m sorry.”