Federal Paranormal Agency 6 - Leannan (14 page)

“He’s only eighteen. Cut him some slack, boss,” Graham said, sticking up
for
him.

Bruno chuckled. “I’m only teasing.”

“I need your help,” Toby told him.

“Of course.” Bruno nodded. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Toby sat down in one of the chairs across from Bruno and went through the story once more. When he was finally done, the office was silent. He looked up and stared at the leader of the FPA, waiting for him to respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Duncan was your mate? I could’ve done something before he was arrested.”

“You’re right. I should’ve told you, but I can’t go back and change the past. As of right now, our whole relationship is a complete lie. He knows me as Thomas Doyle, and soon, the authorities are going to tell him Thomas is dead.”

“At this point, the only thing I can do is petition the government under the mating law. If the petition is accepted, Duncan will be released to me and punished as if he were a paranormal.”

Toby leaned back in the overstuffed chair, thinking over his options. He didn’t know what to do.

“Do you think the petition will be accepted?”

“They won’t accept the petition unless you marked and claimed him as your mate.”

Toby’s shoulders dropped. It felt as though his entire world was crumbling around him. “We can’t go that route then. I didn’t mark Duncan. I couldn’t, not while I was lying
to
his face and pretending to be someone else. Hell, he doesn’t even know that I’m a shifter.”

Bruno leaned forward, placing his forearms on his desk. “I’ll make a few a calls, but at this point, I’m not sure if there anything we can do.”

“I appreciate your honesty.”

“I’m sorry, Toby.”

* * * *

After a week behind bars, Duncan was finally granted the right to receive a visitor. He was kept in a private area inside a minimum-security prison. It wasn’t really all that bad. The government wasn’t going to prosecute him. They couldn’t, not while people holding high-ranking government positions were receiving money from him. So, they kept him locked up in “protective custody.” There wouldn’t be a trial, but that was mostly because they needed to cover their own asses. In the grand scheme of things, Duncan knew that a short-term prison sentence was a good deal considering the alternative.

When he saw Niall through the glass partition, Duncan smiled. At this point, his only real concern was Thomas. Had he caught a flight back home? Was he safe? Once he had the answers to those questions, everything in his world would be okay.

Duncan sat down on the short bar stool. He grabbed the phone and put it to his ear. “Niall, it’s good to see you, man.”

“You, too.”

“Did you find Thomas? Is he okay?”

“I’ve got some bad news.”

“What?”

“He’s…” Niall broke eye contact. He took a few deep
breathes
as if he were trying to collect his thoughts.

“What?” Duncan growled.

“He’s dead.”

“Bullshit.”

“There was a car accident on the way to the airport. He was killed at the scene.”

“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “No!” Duncan shouted into the phone. He didn’t believe it. It was impossible.

“I’m sorry,” Niall whispered.

Duncan dropped the phone onto the table. He rose to his feet, his legs shaking so badly he almost collapsed.
Oh God, Thomas.
How could this have happened? How could his sweet angel be dead? The world started spinning, everything blurring together in a mass of colors and shapes. Moisture leaked from his eyes, dripping down his cheeks.
Thomas.
How could he live in
a world
without Thomas? They were going to get married. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together.

Wiping his face, he blinked rapidly, clearing his vision. Niall stood on the other side of the glass, banging his fist against the hard surface while shouting his name.

Duncan grabbed the phone. “I want to know everything. Talk to every source we’ve got.”

“It was an accident, man.”

Duncan shook his head. “It’s too convenient.”

He refused to believe that Thomas was gone. This had to be some sort of sick joke at his expense, but why? He couldn’t think. His mind was spinning in a million different directions. What more did they want from him? Duncan was behind bars. He had already given up all his sources and contacts. He was done. As far as he was concerned, this was his chance to change, to go straight and be the man that Thomas deserved.

“I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Don’t stop searching.”

Duncan hung up the phone. He turned his back on Niall and marched back to his cell. Dropping down onto the twin-sized mattress, Duncan stared up at the ceiling.

“Thomas,” he sighed.

He closed his eyes, and an image of Thomas instantly appeared. Duncan could still remember the first time he’d laid eyes on the young man. With his short copper-colored hair, cornflower blue eyes, and angelic face, Thomas was the most beautiful man Duncan had ever seen. The time he’d spent with Thomas had changed his life forever. Thomas loved him. Nobody in his life had ever truly cared and accepted him.

Rolling to his side, Duncan grabbed his pillow and covered his face, blocking
the sob
that spilled from his lips. He didn’t want anyone to hear him as he cried, mourning the loss of the man he loved.

Present Day

Toby opened the window and climbed inside Duncan’s safe house. Since moving to New York City, he’d been making daily visits to this place, hoping that Duncan might eventually show up. The need to be close to his mate was overwhelming, and after three years of separation, Toby decided it was time for a change of scenery. The move across the country was partly due to Graham and the case the lion shifter was working when he’d left California. But if Toby was completely honest, he knew the move was more for personal reasons.

The pain inside his chest never faded away. It was a constant throb. It didn’t matter how much time passed. Duncan was always at the forefront of his mind. Toby replayed the time he’d spent with Duncan over and over inside his mind, wishing there was a way to go back and make different decisions. Now that he was twenty-one, Toby realized he’d made quite a few mistakes.

He should’ve marked and claimed his mate. He should’ve been honest from the start. Maybe then, the FPA could’ve stepped in and done something before it was too late.

After all this time, Toby still didn’t know what had happened to his mate. The last he’d heard was that Duncan was somewhere safe, whatever the hell that meant. The agents from Interpol and Scotland Yard wouldn’t divulge any other information. Bruno continued to check in with his sources and assured Toby that he would call if there were any changes.

Making his way
through
Duncan’s home, Toby went to his mate’s bedroom. The closet was his first stop. He grabbed one of Duncan’s shirts and lifted it his nose, inhaling deeply. His mate’s unique scent clung to the material—
leather, black orchid, vanilla, and sandalwood. It was light, but he could still smell Duncan’s presence. It brought a little bit of peace to Toby and his fox.

Duncan.

The strain of being apart from his mate for so long made it almost impossible to live. There were times when food lost its flavor, Toby couldn’t get out of
bed,
and he’d contemplated killing himself. He was ashamed to admit that he’d come close to ending his life. It wasn’t something he was proud of.

Toby sat down on the floor. Lifting his knees to his chest, Toby wrapped his arms around his shins and curled into a tight ball. He put Duncan’s shirt against his face and closed his eyes, breathing in the man’s scent.

What would Duncan think of him now? What would the other man say if he saw Toby again?

He wasn’t the same innocent, young man he’d been a few years ago. He wasn’t happy. He rarely smiled. It wasn’t just emotional changes. Physically he wasn’t the same either. Toby had lost weight, dark circles had become permanent fixtures around his hollow blue eyes, and his hair had become an unruly mop of copper-colored curls. Without Duncan in his life, Toby couldn’t find the energy to care. Each day was a struggle. He woke up feeling incomplete, almost as if an important piece of his heart and soul were missing.

Duncan.

His whole world revolved around a man he hadn’t seen in three years, three long, excruciatingly painful years. The time they had spent together had been brief, but it only took a moment for him to fall in love. It was the curse of being a shifter. Now that he knew who his mate was, he couldn’t move on with his life without Duncan. The man was impossible to forget.

Falling to his side, Toby covered his face with Duncan’s shirt. His eyes filled with moisture, tears silently falling down his cheeks. He didn’t know how it was possible to continue crying. He had an endless supply of tears.

Duncan.

Nobody knew the extent of his pain.

After the first year, he’d stopped talking about Duncan to the other FPA agents. His new team here in New York didn’t know anything about his past. Graham was the only one who knew Toby, and he trusted the other shifter to keep his secrets.

Rolling onto his belly, Toby wiped his eyes on Duncan’s shirt. He took a few deep breathes before slowly rising to his feet. He folded the T-shirt back up and placed it on the shelf before stepping out of the closet. He shuffled his feet against the carpet as he strolled through Duncan’s bedroom.

Toby paused in front of a collage of pictures hanging on the wall. His eyes bounced from frame to frame, staring at the smiling faces. He lifted his favorite off the wall and held it, running his thumb over Duncan’s face. The pain in his heart doubled, making it hard to breathe. Opening his mouth, Toby sucked in a mouthful of air. A fat tear dropped onto the glass surface, and Toby wiped it off.

Duncan.
His heart cried out.
Why didn’t I mark and claim you? Why didn’t I tell you the truth? Why didn’t I ask for help?

Toby put the frame against his chest and wrapped his arms around it, holding tight. He would give anything to feel Duncan’s embrace once again. Whenever the man touched him, Toby felt safe and loved. And now he was lost and alone. He sighed heavily. Toby lifted the picture and put it back on the wall where it belonged.

He had to force himself to leave Duncan’s bedroom. Placing one foot in front of the other seemed like a ridiculously hard chore. When he reached the threshold, Toby glanced over his shoulder one more time. He made his way through the rest of the house, walking along the same route. Toby did the same thing on each visit. He spent a few hours inside Duncan’s house, hoping it would fill the hole in his heart.

Duncan.

When his phone started ringing, Toby shoved his hand into his pocket and retrieved the device. Graham’s name flashed across the screen. Hitting the talk button, he held the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, kid. Are you home?”

Toby’s initial response was to say yes. He felt more at home here than he did at the large glass and steel building where the other FPA agents lived.

“No, I’m out exploring the city.”

“Do you want to meet up and grab something to eat?”

No.
He wanted to stay hidden. He wanted to be surrounded by Duncan’s possessions. Being here was the next best thing to having his mate.

“Sure.”

“Where are you?” Graham asked.

Toby wasn’t going to reveal his secret. Nobody knew about Duncan’s house, and he planned on keeping it that way. This was his little hideaway.

“Tell me where you want to meet. I’ll grab a cab.”

“Are you sure? I can pick you up. It’s not a big deal.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you,” Toby told him.

After a moment of silence, Graham sighed. “I’m worried about you, kid.”

“Don’t.”

“Toby,” he growled in warning.

“Graham, I’m sorry. I just…I can’t…”

“I’m sorry that I left you in California. I should’ve considered your feelings. I thought I was protecting you when, in reality, I hurt you. When I heard that you moved to New York, I thought the change would be good for you. But you’ve locked yourself away again. I miss you, kid.”

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re right,” Graham whispered. “I don’t. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I don’t know how to make things better. I want my old Toby back.”

Toby closed his eyes. He couldn’t even remember the old him. This new version was beaten and broken. Toby feared that he would never be normal again. He’d never heard of destined mates being separated for so long. If this was the outcome, he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. The pain. It was so intense that his entire being ached.
Duncan.

“I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”

“I’m here for you. If you need anything at all, I’m here.”

“I know.”

There wasn’t anything to say that hadn’t already been said at one point or another. Even though Graham and Bruno were always willing to listen, they couldn’t really understand what he was going through. Toby had tried everything to forget, but nothing worked.

“I’ll talk to you later.” Toby ended the call before Graham could say another word. He shut his phone off and shoved his cellphone into his back pocket.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Toby dropped down onto the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering how much more he could take. He didn’t have the strength to continue on. If something didn’t give soon, there was a good chance that he’d lose himself completely. How was he supposed to go on living without his heart?

Toby stayed on the couch until the sun started to drop below the horizon. Bright shards of light broke through slits along the blinds, painting rainbows on the walls. Pushing himself up, Toby made his way over to the window. He slid it open and climbed out. When his feet hit the ground, Toby closed the window.