Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (9 page)

“I’m not smiling,” I said harshly, my
stubbornness now firmly intact. “And where the hell are we anyway?” I asked
tearing my eyes away from him, looking back toward the giant stone tower.

I could still hear a smile in his voice when
he answered, “This is my home, and before you can refuse to come in-,” my scowl
deepened and he pressed on, “-I want you to know that I’m not going to try
anything. I just want you to see that I don’t live like a monster. Maybe it
will help to show you that I’m not one.”

“Fine, but I’m not some skank you’re
probably used to bringing home at night, so you better not get any ideas,” I
said, a little surprised at my own statement and the harshness of my tone.

I didn’t know why I brought up his personal
life nor did I know why I would even care. I assumed he had a lifestyle similar
to Shane’s. I dared another look back at him, and he had a strange expression
on his face. I couldn’t place it but it seemed he was almost as surprised as I
was at my comment.

His eyes were smiling, and the icy blue
seemed to glow a little. It was a little unnatural to see the crystals of blue
dance and brighten. I felt myself getting lost in them again and broke my gaze.
When my eyes returned to his, the brightness had dimmed, and he held his hands
up in a gesture of submission.

“I promise not to try to compromise your
good morals and upstanding virtues,” he teased with an easy smile.

I gave up, knowing I would not be able to
explain my little outburst, not even to myself. I shook my head trying to erase
it from memory and let out a long heavy breath, “Whatever. Let’s just go.”

He moved past me and pushed the door open
waiting for me to go before him, “After you,” he added.

I brushed past him, and felt him close
behind. He caught up and fell in step beside me, and I saw him nod his head to
the guy at the front desk. It was a grand lobby like Holly’s condo but darker
and more lavish. The man nodded back in confirmation, “Mr. West.”

I watched the elevator lights tick by
indicating the number of floors. We made our way up the 61 floors to the top
penthouse where Gavin lived.

He again held the door open for me, and as I
entered into his home, I was taken aback by the unexpected style. I guess I had
expected something minimal and cold, but this apartment was very rich and warm.
There were a lot of natural elements like hardwood floors and plastered walls
with a little brick and stone mixed in. It was large but filled with big and
inviting furniture.

“This place is huge,” I marveled at the
square footage. The ceilings were high, and the back wall was mostly windows
framed by dark red curtains made of heavy fabric and a big sliding glass door
that opened to a large outdoor balcony that could serve as an extra living
space if he furnished it. There was nothing out there, but I could picture I
big outdoor dining table and huge grill that would be good for summertime
barbequing, that is, if he ate food.

I moved on through the rest of the house
with his curious eyes on me, taking in my expression and gathering my opinions
from my face. I walked down a long hallway taking note of a large bathroom and
a room that could be a guest room, but the bed in it was bare.

“Hmm, you seem to be missing a bed set in
here. How ironic that I just gained a new bed set recently?” I feigned
ignorance. “Weird.”

I looked up over my shoulder where he stood
looking at me with a giant smirk on his face. He spoke up then, his voice
somber, his expression changing to match, “I thought you could use a change of
scenery. Besides, no one has ever even slept in that room. It’s nice that all
that stuff can actually get some use.”

I moved down the hall and glimpsed a giant
four-post king sized bed in the last room. Knowing this was his bedroom, my
heart picked up its pace and I turned so fast I nearly ran right into his
chest. I glanced up and saw the smirk returning to his face. If I didn’t know
any better, I’d say he reveled in my discomfort, even though he always tries
saving my life at every opportunity.

“What, you don’t want the complete tour? It comes
with a complimentary back massage,” he taunted in a suggestive tone, while
stepping closer.

Not backing down, I went up on my tip toes
and whispered in his ear. “My back is pretty tight.”

I pulled back an inch and came up
practically nose to nose with him. There was a satisfying stunned look on his
face that made my lips curl up at the corners.

Then, it happened again. I got sucked into
those eyes and it felt like something sizzled and crackled between us. The mood
shifted and both of our breaths picked up. His eyes bore into mine then traced
up and down my face settling back on my eyes. Oh no. Not again.

“Touch me, and I will hurt you,” I
threatened, while side-stepping him. His low chuckle followed me as I traced my
steps back to the main room toward the sunken living space. The big soft
beige-colored couch was calling to me. It sat in front of a huge stone
fireplace. I moved toward it and he followed my lead.

“Can I take your coat?” he offered, being a
good host, as if he was used to having guests. After seeing that enormous bed,
I was sure he had plenty of guests. I didn’t know why, but I was fuming at the
thought. It was probably due to the idea of those guests becoming his victims.

“No. Can we just get to the point?” I said
plopping down on the couch impatiently.

He slid his jacket off throwing it over the
brown leather chair next to the couch where he sat, angled toward me. He sat
there comfortably with his arms lying on either arm of the chair, his legs
stretched loosely out in front of him. His lazy posture suggested he didn’t see
me as any kind of threat. It was also a way of trying to make me feel relaxed,
like this wasn’t about business. I wasn’t about to let my guard down for a
second.

He took in my tense posture and didn’t
bother to argue. He knew I wouldn’t budge.

He looked me up and down, considering how to
start, then, said bluntly but almost reluctantly, “You’re a sort of hybrid, a
cross between a vampire and human. I’ve watched you for years trying to figure
you out because there has never been anything like you.”

I was speechless trying to grasp this new
bit of self-discovery. I shouldn’t be shocked because I expected something like
this, but it was still difficult to take. I didn’t question it because it all
added up.

I didn’t say anything so he continued, “This
could have only happened through a sort of…” he struggled for words, which was
unlike him from what I’ve gathered so far, “… indirect blood transfer,” he
looked at me pointedly, not willing to continue. He wanted me to pick up something
in the meaning of his words.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I
asked harshly.

“I’m not exactly sure myself, but I know
you’d need to be drained of blood then given more blood. But I still don’t know
how you lived through it at all.”

“I think I would have remembered something
like that,” I snapped, on edge.

“Well, how long have you been like this?” he
asked, like a doctor studying a patient.

I searched and searched for a spark of
intuition, anything that would help put the pieces of the puzzle together, but
this was a part of me I’ve tried so hard to keep buried all my life, ever since
I was…

“As long as I can remember,” I answered.

“Exactly! You would have remembered if a
vampire bit
you
,” he hinted.

“But I didn’t think I went through a transition.
I just thought I was born this way,” I said, still very confused.

“You were
born
this way, but everyone
starts out human.”

“But if I was born this way then how the
hell…” I started in on him just before it dawned on me. “Oh my God!” I
whispered, too defeated to find my voice.

Indirect
. No. no, I knew there was a
reason I didn’t explore my past. Gavin was right. I couldn’t handle my own
truth. This was too much.

I bent over putting my elbows on my knees
and my forehead in my hands for support. It wasn’t just depression that killed
my mother. It was a monster, or a monster like me, or like I could become. I
wasn’t sure.

He saw the realization and said, “Stop
blaming yourself. You didn’t kill her.”

“Stop!” I shouted. My eyes pleaded with him
to drop it. I wasn’t ready for this. I was going to need a lot of aggression
therapy after this conversation, and I was tempted to use him as the punching
bag.

Out of nowhere, I got that all-over numbness
and vertigo followed by a fresh wave of pain, but it was different than what I
was used to. It didn’t feel like my own, and I caught a glimpse at Gavin’s
face.

He looked almost sad, and I was getting
uncomfortable with our little sharing session. The display of raw emotion
between us felt a little too intimate for my liking. As always, he sensed my
discomfort and took a little weight off the conversation.

“Would you like something to drink?” He took
in my skeptical look and added, “Besides blood, I mean.”

“I could use a drink, a stiff one would be
nice,” I smiled half-heartedly.

“I’ll see what I can come up with,” he said
returning the smile with a full, genuine one of his own that lit up his whole
face.

I squirmed in my seat and needed to move
around. “I’ll get it,” I offered enthusiastically, jumping out of my spot on
the couch and rushing toward the open kitchen with the huge double-wide fridge.

I brushed past him as he froze there halfway
off his chair, stunned at my reaction. It only took a moment before I felt his
presence right behind me, but by then, I had already opened the refrigerator
door. Seconds ticked by as I stood staring at the bags of blood hanging from
each rack.

Finally, I tilted my head up and turned to
look at his face which was now right above mine looking at me with strained
eyes. I wasn’t sure how to continue.

“So, you rip off blood banks?” It was a poor
attempt at humor.

“I don’t kill people, but I don’t suppose
you would have believed me if I just told you that.”

“You’re right. Vampires are killers. It
doesn’t make sense.”

“Not all vampires,” he said with a little
more ease as he reached past the bags and pulled out a carton of orange juice.
“It’s all I have,” he said apologetically.

“Wait, why do you even have normal drinks?
What, are you running your own blood bank, bringing unsuspecting victims up
here then fueling them up right before tapping a vein?”

“That sounded like a well thought out, and
very specific accusation,” he paused to look at me with those accusing eyes. “But
no, it was for you all along. I was hoping you’d eventually come around and
want to talk.”

“Oh, so you just assumed I’d want to see
you?” He was a cocky bastard.

“Just hoping. You’re here aren’t you, so
it’s a good thing I thought ahead right?” he gave me a boyish grin with all
teeth that was definitely cocky.

I ignored it and moved on, “And I’ve
actually seen that before, a vampire-run blood bank. It got out of hand and I
had to shut it down.”

“I see,” he said, as an afterthought, like
he wasn’t interested in my hunting stories. He moved over to the counter and
grabbed a glass down from the overhead cabinets to pour my drink. “Sorry, this
is a dry loft. Not that it would do you any good,”

“I know,” I said defeated. “No escaping
life’s problems with liquid courage. No drunk texting for me.”

My voice was pitiful even to me, and I
looked down to hide that self-pity from showing all over my face. He moved
quickly in front of me so close that the counter top was digging into the small
of my back.

He had me pinned, not with might, but with
his proximity. I refused to close the thin gap between us, even to escape the
crazy electricity created by his nearness. The ledge of the counter bit harder
into my back and I couldn’t go any further. Then his hand grasped my chin
firmly and forced my head up. My eyes squeezed tightly shut knowing if they met
his crystal blue eyes, I would lose all concentration.

I needed a clear head right now because my
traitorous body was opposed to moving further away from him. The heat was
building between us and the fire inside me seemed to be ignited from a
different place than usual. It made my body warm all over and this was an
entirely new experience for me.

“Woman, would you please quit being so damn
stubborn and look at me,” he whispered in that smooth voice of his.

He was so close to my face now that his warm
breath kissed my lips and left them tingling with anticipation.

Focus Lucy!

I stopped myself before my lips betrayed me
by doing something insane like puckering up. His voice did numbers on my
self-control, and I refused to lose my concentration. I squeezed my eyes even
tighter drawing small tears to the corners.

“Lucy,
please
,” his voice was much
smaller now, pleading, and it held so much power, especially when it sounded so
vulnerable and helpless.

I opened my eyes unwillingly, not because he
had some sort of magic powers, but because I couldn’t resist that voice. It was
like a salve to an open wound. It felt like it could heal every wound I’ve ever
incurred.

His eyes were exactly as I feared,
penetrating deep into my core. The flecks of baby blue seemed to glitter and
shimmer in the light above the oven range next to us, and I began to sink
deeper and deeper into their depths. His hand loosened its grip on my chin and
gently moved up my cheek while his thumb softly stroked my cheekbone as if wiping
away invisible tears, tears that I would never shed for myself or anyone else.
I wouldn’t let myself get close enough to anyone to care about them that much,
if monsters like me even had the capacity to care.