Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (10 page)

“I told you I wouldn’t tell you anything you
weren’t ready to hear. If you want to talk about it, I’m always here for you. I
always have been.”

I didn’t want his sympathy. “I don’t need a
friend, vampire,” I said coldly.

I turned my head away from his touch,
suddenly needing a sip of that orange juice. I took a swig to wet my dry
throat. He let me past him and I created a very safe distance between us.

He backed off and knew not to push me so he
returned to his usual business-like persona. That made it easier for me to talk
to him, and my train of thought quickly got back on track as my persona matched
his when I switched to the next issue we needed to discuss.

“What do you know about these suicides going
on in town?” I asked.

“Nothing yet. But I have noticed the unusual
trend. If not for the drugs in their systems I’d have called the cuttings
another cover-up for your average, run-of-the-mill vampire killings. I’ll look
into it and see what I can find.”

“Good, cause I’ve got nothing. I’m sure you
can get a little closer to answers than I can these days,” I said, knowing if I
did any digging into the inner workings of the underworld I would definitely be
noticed and unwelcome. Gavin could at least blend in better than me.

“Yes, it would be a very good idea for you
to stay out of this and actually lay low for once,” he said in a more
authoritative voice.

I hated authority figures. They just want to
push people around to keep them down. Being told what to do, or what
not
to do, never sat well with me. In fact, it always seemed to have the opposite effect.
Call it youthful rebellion, but no one was going to push me around.

“I never said anything about lying low,” I
countered.

“Fight me if you want but if you keep up
this reckless vigilante act night after night, they will kill you,” he said
firmly.

“Don’t tempt me, vampire,” I shot over my
shoulder as I made my way to the door.

“Call me Gavin.”

I turned, my hand on the door knob, and
added with a big smile, “How about jackass, or dickhead?” He scowled in
response, crossing his arms over his chiseled chest. “I’ve got worse names for
you. Shall I elaborate?”

He flashed a wicked smile and said, “Goodbye
…darling.”

 My heart leapt at the pet name, from anger
I was sure. Yes, it had to have been anger. Damn him for fighting fire with
fire. His was much better, or worse I guess.

I pivoted quickly, slamming the door behind
me. I imagined the smug look that must be plastered on his face. I was fuming
the entire trip down the elevator and stormed out of the lobby into the
blustery winter conditions.

The once calm, serene snow globe was now
being shaken. Hard. And the swirling flurry of flakes seemed to match my
current inner fury.

Once out in the bitter cold, my senses
returned, leaving me to wonder how I allowed myself to get so close to the
enemy, in his house even, being unprepared to kill him if necessary. In fact,
the entire time I was up there, I never once contemplated killing him. Just the
opposite, I almost… Oh my God! I let my guard down. That couldn’t happen ever
again. I couldn’t trust him.

†

I stalked off down the sidewalk needing even
more distance between us and rounded the corner. It was then that I heard a
far-off scream.

I took off at a dead sprint. The screaming
had died down and eventually became silent, but I knew the general direction
and kept running. I heard shuffling in a nearby alley and charged in ready for
a fight.

There was a vampire pinning a woman to the
wall, his face tipped down at her neck. All I saw was a mess of blond hair; her
head turned away from me and toward the monster’s lowered head. The scene made
me hesitate because something seemed odd about it. The woman had her hand
curled around the vamp’s arm, not in resistance, but in more of an embrace. The
sounds emanating from her were more of pleasure than pain.

The vampire eased his head up slightly and I
recognized that dark creamy complexion from his side profile. The familiar
voice was rough when he spoke, “Ah, Lucy, care to join us? I’m always up for a
threesome.”

“I guess the blond should have tipped me
off. You know, if she dies you die, right? I warned you about killing. Go to
the butcher if you need blood, leach.”

He looked up with an exaggerated horrified
expression, bringing his hand to his mouth to cover the fake gasp. “I’m
offended. Lucy, I wouldn’t kill my girlfriend.”

“Ha,” I nearly choked on the unexpected
laughter that escaped me. “Oh really? So what number is she?”

The blond looked at him with anger and
whined, “Hey!”

He turned to her with impatience, “She’s
kidding. She’s just jealous.”

I erupted in more laughter. “Right, that’s
it. So you’re just going around town exposing your secret to everyone you meet?
Aren’t you guys big on the secrecy?”

“Well, she’s not telling anyone, are you
baby?” he looked at her and she got all doe-eyed and shook her head.

Turning back to me he added, “Plus, you
can’t tell me you haven’t told anyone
our
little secret.” He gave me a
conspiratorial wink. “Because it’s not just my secret, you’re a part of it
too.”

“So does every vampire in town know what I
am or something?”

“Just those of us few who care. The others
don’t care what you are, they just want you dead. Oh, that reminds me, word has
it that you’re on the First’s radar now,” he said in a conversational tone as
if it wasn’t a major breakthrough to discover what it was that was after me.

“The what?” I pressed.

“The First, or the Elite. They have
different names, but they are the very first vampires in the history of our
kind. Well, they are what’s left of the first, which makes them the strongest
of us. They have power over all vampires, and they like to remind us of that
every once in a while by sending out their assassins to kill any threats to our
kind. And their assassins are almost as powerful.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I had trouble
processing this new information. Not only was I on the local vampire community
shit list, but I apparently had the attention of the vampire equivalent of
royalty. Awesome. This should be fun.

“That reminds me, how’s your boyfriend?
Didn’t he just recently make an appearance in your life out of nowhere?” he
said spitefully.

And the hits just kept on coming. He made an
interesting point, “But didn’t you also make a similar reappearance?”

He burst out in laughter. “I hate those
fuckers. I don’t work for anyone. I’m flattered though that you would consider
me a strong enough competitor to rival them,” he spat, almost enviously. “Your
boyfriend, on the other hand, does have quite impressive power,” he suggested,
determined to plant that little morsel in my brain.

It worked because the onslaught of evidence
growing in my head was undeniable. Gavin did have that extra super strength
going for him. In this case it worked against him, but I was more than willing
to accept any excuses to hate him at the moment. Maybe that was why he watched
me all those years, to prove I was some sort of threat, a strange anomaly, but
a threat none the less. This new piece of information was intriguing, but there
was still that sense of wrongness gnawing at that theory.

He knew what I was, so why wasn’t I dead
yet? What would he be waiting for if he was sent to kill me? The more
information I gathered the more clueless I felt. I kept taking one step forward
and two steps back, but it was unavoidable. If I wanted to rid the world of
monsters I would have to learn more about them. Know thy enemy and all that,
which unfortunately meant sticking extra close to Gavin. A scary thought since
I loved being in control of myself, and when around him, I felt slightly less
in control.

I realized this was a ploy of Shane’s to
distract me from his own…
business
at hand, which happened to be
inappropriately placed on the blonde’s lower body region, but it was definitely
something to keep in mind.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and
walked toward me at the mouth of the alley. As they passed, he added, “Have fun
with your boyfriend on your next date.”

“Say boyfriend one more time,” I threatened.
“And try not to sound so jealous when you do.” That earned me a laugh and wink
from Shane and a look of hatred shot over the blonde’s shoulder.

Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure I’d care if she
ended up on a milk carton come tomorrow. They rounded the corner, and he tossed
a sly look over her head with a wink, and I was left standing there in the dark
alley that was quickly becoming lit by the collecting snow on the ground. The
moon always cast a silver light on a snow-covered world.

I walked around for hours in the
white-washed night with no sightings. I had too much pent up frustration to
sleep so I went to my wind down spot for some self-reflection.

†

It was nearly dawn when I entered the
cemetery gates. I found my usual resting place with the angels and lied down.
The light dusting of snow covered the grass in a thin blanket of white and
threatened to smother the remaining signs of life left on the barren earth. The
cold felt relieving against the white hot embers of revelation burning inside
me. Tonight was an eye opener, and I was beginning to see how big this world
was.

I was tempted to just lie there and let the
snowfall smother me. It had every right to take the life from me, but after
tonight, I wasn’t sure if the earth would claim my body. It would just spit out
an evil undead monster, because apparently that’s what I was. Now, I had
confirmation. Eventually, the sun rose and the snow was no match for its light.

By the time I got back to my apartment, the
light accumulation had already begun melting and had mostly disappeared. I
slept in my newly made bed for the first time that morning. The image of a
slaughter had felt like a distant memory and I had to prepare myself for what
was to come.

The softness of my new bazillion-count
sheets reminded me of him, and I thought of him all night. I couldn’t get his
words out of my head. I was a hybrid. The realization that I had prayed would
never come had hit me harder than if he had struck me with his powerful fists.
I wanted so badly to hate him for delivering that blow and crushing any
remaining hope of normalcy I had left, no matter how false it may have been,
but as usual, that hate was redirected and aimed right at myself.

It would still feel good to kick his ass,
and with that last thought I buried my head in the plush pillow and fell asleep
to his annoyingly masculine and intoxicating scent.

The next night, I willingly went into the
lion’s den. As soon as darkness fell, I grabbed a cab over to the Central West
end and marched into his high rise to demand more answers about the First, my
newly discovered and most dangerous threat. Well, this suicide thing was
sketchy, but there weren’t enough leads to tackle that issue yet. The attendant
on duty was giving me a lot of attitude when I barged into the lobby demanding
to see Gavin.

“Mr. West doesn’t have any scheduled
visitors, and he usually doesn’t see anyone at this time. You’ll have to come
back later,” he scrutinized me, looking me up and down like I was a nobody.

He took in my tight black yoga pants and
zip-up hoodie that revealed a low-cut tank underneath. He probably thought I
was another late-night booty call coming too early. I wanted to punch him.

“Just call up to his loft. I’m sure he’ll
want to talk to me, and if not, then I’ll just make myself comfortable here
until he does,” I said.

“I could just call security,” he threatened.

“I’m pretty good at causing a scene. How
about you just try Mr. West’s room first?” I said as nicely as I could manage.
The threat was hidden in that well-maintained manner. I could tell he didn’t
want to test my patience because he huffed and puffed but finally picked up the
phone in reluctance.

“Good evening Mr. West. There’s a young
woman down here insisting to see you,” he said in an apologetic tone.

Great. Mr. West was going to have fun with
the way he worded that. He must have enjoyed it because the man’s mouth
twitched into a smile. They were sharing a private joke at my expense, and the
man said, “-yes she is, sir…hahaha.” I was sure whatever Gavin said was just
hilarious
.
“Yes, sir, I will.”

He put the phone down, and his light
demeanor returned to a snarl when his gaze fell back on me. “You may go up,” he
said as he tossed me a piece of paper with the elevator code scrawled on it,
then turned his attention back to the magazine on his desk. And at that, I was
dismissed.

I went to the elevator expecting to need the
code to get on it but the doors opened as soon as I pressed the
up
button. The code was actually needed once in the elevator to get to Gavin’s
apartment itself. How did I miss that the first time he brought me here? He had
to give the guy permission to give me this which means he trusts me with it. Weird.

I paced the tiny length of the elevator as
it climbed the 61 stories. The scowl on my face grew deeper, and I repeated the
mantra in my head over and over, “Don’t let your guard down, don’t let your
guard down….”
Ding
. The doors slid open. “I can do this,” I whispered to
myself.

There was a short corridor from the elevator
to a giant set of double doors that served as a small foyer to his loft. He
knew I was coming so I didn’t bother knocking. There was a soft crooning coming
from beyond the double doors and after letting myself in, I realized it was a light
melody of a familiar singer/songwriter. It reminded me of a Ray LaMontagne
song, and it was playing throughout the loft. His taste in music was the
opposite of mine. His was soft, mine was much harder.

I smelled him before I saw him, and I
immediately averted my eyes when they spotted his half-naked body strutting out
from the hall that led to his bedroom. One arm was hanging at his side and the
other was toweling off his head of short hair.

As soon as my eyes drifted south and
glimpsed his bare chest and washboard abs that glistened from the shower I
assumed he came from, I forced my eyes as far south as my Asics, quickly passing
the lower half of his body that was fully covered in loose fitting sweatpants.
I refused to let myself get caught up on the very prominent protrusion just
below his waistline, telling myself it was just the way the light hit the
bunching of the baggy gray sweats.

Suddenly, I became very aware of my own
appearance, which was crazy. I should not have been feeling inadequate just
from the sight of him. I stopped my hand midway through my hair before I could
completely straighten it and decided to instead tuck both hands under my arms
as I crossed them tightly over my chest.

I felt him closing in on me. My insides
twisted and my cheeks grew warmer with his approach as if I could feel the
warmth of his shower radiating off him.

“All of a sudden, you’re quiet and shy?
You’re not your usual pain in the ass self. I know you came here for a reason.
What did you want to yell at me for this time?” he stopped just a few feet from
me.

“Do you think you could put a shirt on? This
is a business call, not the typical company you keep,” I felt like I was
chastising my shoes.

“You’re the only company I’ve had in my home…
since you seem so stuck on the type of company I tend to keep. And if its
business, then you should be a professional who can work in any environment,
unless for some reason this is too distracting for you.” He just had to throw
that in, taking full advantage of my discomfort.

“Why don’t you dress like a professional?
And since when do vampires take showers?”

“We get dirty too,” he paused giving me time
to process the double meaning.

He must have known my immaturity level forces
me to find sexual innuendos in everything, and although I appreciated his
effort, I really could have done without any references to this man and sex.
“Would you rather we walked around caked in dirt and stench?” he retorted.

“No, but it just seems so mundane, like such
a… human thing to do. Anyway, will you just put a shirt on? I have questions
for you, and if you must know, yes, you’re pathetic attempt at coming on to me
is distracting,” I bluffed, trying to play off my discomfort by making it his
fault rather than my own undefined feelings. Even though he was a vampire, he
still had testosterone and the male ego was fully intact.

His need to defend his masculinity
transcended his maturity because he had to prove it was me who couldn’t deal
with his insane, rock solid perfection. “I’ll put a shirt on if you look up at
me like a professional, without too much ogling.”

Knowing that I needed my eyes to convey the
anger I was feeling after that hit, I closed them rolling my eyes up to meet
the sound of his voice under my lids. I opened my eyes to meet his while
avoiding the images in my peripheral vision.

The towel was now draped around the back of
his neck and he had his hands grasped around either end of it. I looked into
his smug eyes, and my face burned with definite rage now and nothing else.

“I don’t check out bloodsucking monsters! So
go put a shirt on so we can get this over with,” I held my eyes steadily on his
without flinching.

He searched my eyes for a moment before
giving me a sideways smile and turning in one smooth motion to go back to his
bedroom. I noted the sinuous movement in each of his back muscles as he slowly
walked back to the hallway and I could picture that smug smile of his growing
wider after I caught myself staring.

This time, he really was messing with me,
allowing me the time to take in every inch of exposed skin because once he
rounded the corner into the hallway, he was back in a flash, wearing black
pants, an untucked white collared shirt under a black sports coat, and expensive
looking black leather shoes. It was a tailored look like he had somewhere
upscale to go.

Wanting to get it over with, I moved
instantly to the same spot on the couch I sat last time to show I was ready for
our usual business conversation. He followed suit and joined me in the living
room in the same chair next to the couch where he sat before.

“So,” I started it off, slapping the tops of
my thighs in a gesture that meant this meeting is now in session. He looked at
me with another crooked smile as he sat in his usual lazy pose. Again, I wasn’t
interested in beating around the bush and I wasn’t one for small talk, so I
just dove right into business. “What do you know about the First?”

He tensed a moment and relaxed his features
again, “Why don’t you start by telling me how much you know about them, and
maybe I can fill in the blanks?”

“Slim to nothing. I know they’re supposedly
the very first vampires that ever existed and super powerful, but what started
it?”

“There are a lot of theories about that,
just like humans have their theories about creation and evolution. We are not
certain, exactly, of how we came to be. You should be more concerned with what
the First might do to you if they discover what you are or worse, what you’ve
been doing. Killing their kind doesn’t exactly put you on their good side, and
their bad side is not a place anyone wants to be, vampires included.”

“Well, if those are my only options I’m
going to go with their bad side. If I can die, then I’d rather it not be as one
of them.”

“You see things so black and white. You
always have a choice. You don’t have to pin yourself down to one thing or the
other. In this case, your best option is to avoid all sides of the First and
hope they don’t even notice you. But since you’re coming to me with questions
about them I’m going to assume that’s no longer an option?”

“Apparently not, considering I have this big
target on my back now. So now I have all these assassins to watch out for. From
what I hear they’re like vampires on steroids. Yay,” I said dryly.

He gave me a quizzical once-over and said,
“Where are you getting your information?”

There was no way I was giving up any sources
to him. I preferred having the upper hand when I could get it. “It’s none of
your business where I get my intel. I should be asking why I didn’t get it from
you.”

I felt another argument brewing, but he let
it go and continued, “The First cannot travel. Like all vampires, they won’t
risk exposure to the sun unless they have to, so they have vampire minions,
referred to as the
assassins
, everywhere. Once they give the order,
those assassins are sent out to follow through on that order. An order to kill
is only dispatched when one, a vampire has exposed themselves to humans or two,
something threatens the existence of vampire kind. Coincidently, that threat is
usually humans who have been exposed to vampires.”

“So assassins are like a lower rank of the
First?”

“They are what’s left of the second and
third generations of vampires, so they are almost just as powerful as the First,
but they don’t see themselves as lower ranking.”

“Then, why would they do the First’s
bidding?”

“Because it gives them an opportunity to
kill something without repercussions. They love fighting and killing and this
just gives them that opportunity without ending up on the First’s bad side.
They are essentially ancients with fighting skills.”

“Wait, you said they won’t travel. So where
exactly are the First?”

“There are only a handful of them left, and
they have retreated into the dense Urals of Russia,” he examined the confusion
on my face and decided it best to explain further. “The Urals are some of the
harshest and most vast forests on Earth and make a perfect hideout for exiles.
The First were once spread out all throughout Europe and Asia, particularly
concentrated in Eastern Europe, but there was a time when their numbers were
greater when exposure to humans occurred too often. Humans began learning about
vampires through stories that were spread through villages. There was even a
point in time, hundreds of years ago, when masses of humans threatened to hunt
and destroy the vampires while they slept during the day, and they were
successful in doing so. This is when vampire numbers suffered their greatest
losses, and from then on, they have been much more careful in their contact
with humans.

“That was the same time the First fled from
the greater populations of humans and went deep into the forests to build their
safe havens from the sun and the humans. They built giant fortresses far from
civilization deep within the Urals, hidden in the lower valleys, where no human
could ever find them. After that, they recruited their assassins to act as
their delivery boys to bring them humans who wandered off from their nearby
villages. They promised those who did their work protection from their laws,
but they more or less threatened death to any vampire who refused them.

“Over time, the older a vampire gets, the
stronger they get, but that also comes with side effects, like greater
bloodlust. New vampires can risk a small amount of sun exposure, but the
tiniest amount of exposure for an ancient would mean instant combustion, and
any lighting makes them uncomfortable. Also, they need more blood and the
fresher the better…” he paused a moment and looked into my eyes, hesitating to
continue.

“What does that mean, fresher?” I prodded.

“They need younger blood,” and he gave me
another moment to throw up in my mouth a little as I realized they preferred
children’s blood.

“That’s freaking sick! When can I kill these
bastards?” I demanded.

“You’re not ready to take them on by
yourself yet. You know, I think you would really benefit from practicing a
little patience. You might like it,” he smirked.

“Screw you. I don’t know what that word
means. Now, quit being a damn smartass and continue with the story,” I said
angrily.

“Or maybe you might try meditation. I hear
it works wonders for anger issues,” he added with a barely contained laugh.

“I’m not sure why my anger amuses you so
much, or the fact that there are vampires out there drinking blood from babies.
I really don’t see the humor in that, or maybe I’m missing something. I don’t
know,” I said sardonically.

“It’s not your anger; it’s your resistance
to
everything
. You tend to resist life and embrace death when that’s not
who you are, it’s not what you are. You’re resisting yourself and your own life
because you’re afraid of living it, and you tend to be more resistant to
something when it brings you closer to living. In doing so, you resist me so
much because I resemble something about your life that you hate. But you’re not
listening to yourself, that inner voice that tells you it’s ok to live because
you’re too busy hating yourself for being something that you’re not. I know you
think you’re a monster, that you’re evil, but you’re not Lucille. It’s in your
nature, your instincts, to survive, but it’s in your humanity to live. Stop
denying yourself your will to live. You’ll only become a monster if you keep
crushing your soul. You’re a good person, and you need to stop pushing life
away because you’re the one who’s killing yourself.”